Just a chime....or??

[Jerry Oz]

I sit at the feet of the master, learning what he is willing to share. More times than not, I find when I look up that he's removed said feet and slipped away, leaving me to learn from a pair of old Converse All-Star Chuck Taylor tennis shoes.

[westgrandboulevard]

I see they are launching an artistic ad campaign, which 'will showcase celebrities' uniquely decorated Chucks' - which leads me to wonder how 'uniquely decorated' the Chucks which adorn the feet of Arr&bee may be.....

[Jerry Oz]

Good question. I'm guessing he will have them airbrushed with a portrait of Marion Berry or Robert Griffin III.

[westgrandboulevard]

It won't be a portrait of himself, as he doesn't seem to know what he looks like...:confused:

[144man]

Jeepers creepers, where'd he get those sneakers?

[westgrandboulevard]

More worrying, where did they find him?

[arr&bee]

Wow guys more free publicity[money can't buy this]huh???...anyhow i do have a pair of chucks,doesn't everyone over fifty??

[Jerry Oz]

Who can afford them in this economy?

[arr&bee]

I didn't pay for my pair...[i know folks]

[westgrandboulevard]

They just walked into your life, I suppose....

[arr&bee]

Of course.

[westgrandboulevard]

Best tie the laces together, to stop them walking out again.

[arr&bee]

Ok west step away from the tea...slowly.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'll do it standing on my hands....

[arr&bee]

Now i know where all that crack went.

[westgrandboulevard]

If I had used it, I'd be on my knees by now. Except you'd better make that ' on my elbows' by now.....

[arr&bee]

I hope you didn't leave it on the queen's doorstep where the corgis could get to it.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm pretty sure those mutts use Xanax. Crack would just make the world appear normal to them.

[westgrandboulevard]

They're ordinary creatures, living in an extraordinary world.

[Jerry Oz]

And so are we all.

[westgrandboulevard]

True. The world is quite extraordinary, especially as each of us - in one sense quite ordinary, and yet quite unique in so many others - must perceive it a little differently from everyone else.

[Jerry Oz]

We're all just the cells of a larger body, each with his own tiny responsibility to help the body survive. Of course, there are some cells that revolt against the whole and must be contained or eliminated, but for the most part we function organically if not harmoniously with each other. And the blood cells flowing through your veins have no idea how the brain cells do their jobs, just as we can't see the world from another's perspective.

[westgrandboulevard]

Everyone's a specialist.....

[arr&bee]

My cell is actually pretty nice.

[westgrandboulevard]

That's about as specialist as it's possible to be.

[Jerry Oz]

Of course it is. It is only 6' X 6'. But he gets out of it once a day to shower and stretch his legs.

[westgrandboulevard]

That's two things that a battery hen can't do.

[Jerry Oz]

This is true. Maybe they could do it if they weren't so chicken.

[westgrandboulevard]

...ah,they would love to do exactly as they wish, but find themselves barred.

[arr&bee]

Whoa,whoa..umm guys my cell is actaully a suite[i need space]walk in closet,jacuzzi the whole nine.

[144man]

No doubt you have a nice, friendly cellmate to share it with.

[westgrandboulevard]

A CCTV camera?

[Jerry Oz]

Let's hope. We can option pay-per-view rights to see where the hooch comes from and how it's made.

[westgrandboulevard]

That would be like waiting for a ghost to appear on-screen.....

[Jerry Oz]

I'm pretty sure we'd see a ghost before we see arr&bee anyway.

[westgrandboulevard]

Might be a close call to tell them apart.

[Jerry Oz]

The best way is to light a candle. If it suddenly blows out, then a ghost has entered the room. If it catches a hooch vapor and blows up the neighborhood, then it was arr&bee.

[westgrandboulevard]

They are both certainly hooked up with the spirit.

[Jerry Oz]

They always greet each other with a cheerful 'hello' and leave with a sullen 'goodboo'.

[arr&bee]

No cellmate,i work alone.

[Jerry Oz]

Who looks out for the guard as you dig a tunnel with the spork you stole from the cafeteria?

[westgrandboulevard]

A helpful mole?

[144man]

He won't need to bother about the guards as the warden is using him for his money-laundering operation.

[westgrandboulevard]

Then best to trust nobody. Money can't buy him love.

[Jerry Oz]

But it can buy hooch. Delivery of said liquid? Probably won't buy that...

Oh, and I think prison love doesn't need to be bought. Typically it is freely given from one inmate to a smaller one.

[westgrandboulevard]

It sounds like an average night at a 70s disco in San Francisco.

[144man]

There's a difference in being in a bar or behind them.

[westgrandboulevard]

Not to some...they're like that, any place.

[144man]

I bow to your superior knowledge:)

[westgrandboulevard]

Ahem. I believe this to be the case, based on what I have been told.

[144man]

Of course you do........

[westgrandboulevard]

I do. Besides, some of my best friends are strong in the Salvation Army.

[Jerry Oz]

I don't have any friends in the Salvation Army. My nephew was picked up for loitering in Old Navy, though.

[arr&bee]

Umm guys i have a key.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, if you also have free WiFi, I can see why you don't leave...

[144man]

Shall we start a collection to raise R&B's bail, or is he safer left where he is?

[Jerry Oz]

Do you really think he'd use it for bail? He's too creative for that...

[arr&bee]

Be quiet jerry,hey 144man of course i can use your wonderful donation[cash only ]don't listen to jerry he gives me too much credit.

[westgrandboulevard]

Why on earth would anyone in their right mind want to give you any credit...let alone too much...:rolleyes:

[arr&bee]

I don't want credit from anyone in thier right mind...[are you daff man??]

[westgrandboulevard]

I've half a mind to agree with you.

[arr&bee]

Good i'll take the half that agrees.

[westgrandboulevard]

First, I'll have to find it....

[arr&bee]

Get back to me when you do,with cash of course.

[westgrandboulevard]

I may be gone some time......

[arr&bee]

See that long gold el dorodo outside your flat,i got time.

[westgrandboulevard]

You had to DO time, after you got the Eldorado....

[arr&bee]

Nope the car is a family hierloom.

[westgrandboulevard]

You mean it was handed down to you.......in bits, when your father was up in the attic one day....?

[Jerry Oz]

Nah... It was handed over with the screwdriver needed to turn it on and off since the key column was smashed. But if anyone has doubts as to whether he legitimately owns it, the salesman [[L'il Tyrone - last known address: NW 65th Ave.) promised he'd bring him a receipt to reflect the purchase on 48 hours notice if the police wanted to see it.

[westgrandboulevard]

It should be crushed. Soon as possible...

[Jerry Oz]

Nah. It should just have the fingerprints wiped every time he gets out of it and he'll be fine.

[westgrandboulevard]

The cost in time taken doing just that would be more than the car is worth. All those bullet holes saw to that.

[Jerry Oz]

But it's a GOLD El Dorado. Just the bumper is worth more than I make in a year.

[arr&bee]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...YOU GUYS ARE NUTS....SHHHHHH[jerry keep it down about those bullet holes]OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE BULLETTS I DON'T CONDONE VIOLENCE IN ANY FORM[wink wink]THOSE HOLES ARE FACTORY DEFECTS.

[Jerry Oz]

That was WGB talking about bullets. I am scared of guns and bullets.

[arr&bee]

Sorry jerry,i think that west is having flashbacks to the revolution,get over it west your team lost.

[westgrandboulevard]

The only revolution I've ever been involved with, is starting my car wheels moving.

[Jerry Oz]

You never had vinyl records? And here, I thought that I knew you...

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,west you on your way.

[westgrandboulevard]

You're right Jerry, of course, with the vinyl mention. I just thought of the car first - drive it most days.

We're talking years, probably in double figures, since I last used the turntable.

[arr&bee]

Hey west which side do you drive on...i use both sides and i always get clearance...hehehehe.

[Jerry Oz]

I heard that you drive so fast, it takes three people to spot you. One says 'here he comes!' as another shouts 'here he is!' and a third simultaneously announces 'there he goes!'.

[westgrandboulevard]

He's the only driver to get first, second and third place in the same race, at Daytona 500.

[Jerry Oz]

To say nothing about the fact that he ran out of gas 10 laps before the finish line. And all because he thought there'd be a hooch shower instead of milk at the finish line.

[westgrandboulevard]

Who needs a herd of cows at the finish line, anyway.....

[144man]

A rustler, perhaps.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'd steer away from them...

[Jerry Oz]

Well, you can go one way or the udder way in pit row. Pick wisely.

[westgrandboulevard]

...and, I know, that's no bull.

[Jerry Oz]

You're right. Just remember to have something old, something moo, something borrowed and something blue.

[westgrandboulevard]

Best not to give anything or anyone away, in any dealings with Arr&bee.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,awww good to see my fiends-opps-err-ahem-hehe..my friends all here.

[westgrandboulevard]

'Inmates' is a word which comes to mind.....

[144man]

You said that without any conviction.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'll let you be the judge of that.

[Jerry Oz]

Such an arresting subject...

[westgrandboulevard]

You've captured the mood...

[arr&bee]

I can't[bail] you out of this one west.

[westgrandboulevard]

And whenever did you do that...?

[144man]

When he was serving time.

And getting back on topic, one of the world's strangest clocks which has hands that go backwards on a 20ft face is up for sale. This giant timepiece weighs more than two tonnes and could fetch a five figure sum when it is auctioned tomorrow.

[Jerry Oz]

Will you be bidding on it?

[144man]

I might have the time, but I don't have the inclination.

[Jerry Oz]

But if you find the inclination, you can buy the time.

[westgrandboulevard]

If the clock goes back far enough, you could change history.

[Jerry Oz]

Hmmm... So with it, I can position myself on the grassy knoll and save JFK? Or tell Nero how silly he would one day seem for playing a fiddle while Rome burned? Especially since it was unlikely that he had a fiddle way back then? Or that ancient Romans were fans of country music? And I could warn the dinosaurs that weed is a gateway drug and prevent their eventual extinction by advising them not to smoke it?

I might need to get that clock for myself...

[westgrandboulevard]

Time is ticking on this item....

[arr&bee]

My people looked into that perchase,but i can wear it on my wrist so i passed.

[westgrandboulevard]

I would have thought that something which worked backwards would have suited you just fine...

[arr&bee]

I'm actually looking for one that works sideways,then i can slip between time.

[westgrandboulevard]

You'd never manage to hold down any appointments....

[Jerry Oz]

But he'd be able to meet with himself, finally finding somebody who agrees with him.

[westgrandboulevard]

You know it's never actually happened? Or is it simply something you've assumed.....?

[Jerry Oz]

Well, we've both seen him and voice arguing with each other but I presume that it's two minds in the same head. I hope the cameras are rolling if they actually meet face to face. I'm sure the four of them will have some interesting things to talk about.

[westgrandboulevard]

Not at the same time, I hope. The stereo effect will seem like a crowd scene.

[Jerry Oz]

All they'd need would be a sub-woofer and they'd qualify for 5.1 surround sound.

[westgrandboulevard]

Where's the mute......

[arr&bee]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,YOU GUYS ARE GENIUSES,FOR MY NEXT FILM A MEETING OF THE MINDS[MINE]WITH JUST ME AND VOICE...[has anybody seen voice lately??]OH WELL I'LL TEXT HIM,HE'LL WANNA BE IN ON THIS ONE,IT'S GONNA BE GREAT I'LL GET A[GOLDEN TURKEY]FOR BEST PERFORMANCE,BUT VOICE WILL TRY TO OUT DUE ME,THAT HAM ACTOR.

[Jerry Oz]

'And the Gobbler for weirdest achievement in sound for a featured film goes to... Ummm...'

[westgrandboulevard]

I hope the bar is open, and well-stocked.

When Arr&bee steps up for his international award, a sign language interpreter will say "Thank You" by working through 6,500 different languages, while Arr&bee and Voice have a prolonged and loud disagreement on stage.

[arr&bee]

Jerry you always think ahead,i got a spraypainted triple breasted almost imitation skunkskin suit just for the occation[of course voice will try to outdress me]but this is my night,take that voice.

[westgrandboulevard]

As I said. Totally speechless.

[arr&bee]

AND AS ALWAYS I WON'T FORGET THE LITTLE PEOPLE[THE ELVES FAIRIES LEPRACHUANS DWARFS]WHO WILL WORK TIRELESSLY BEHIND THE SCENES TO MAKE THIS CLASSIC A CLASSIC...[at minimum wage of course].

[Jerry Oz]

Unless you hire some gnomes, you can expect there to be trouble on set. They always feel slighted among the little people and can cause more trouble than you can shake a snake at.

[arr&bee]

I was gonna use em,but they wanted five minute lunch breaks,the nerve.

[westgrandboulevard]

The gnomes here in the UK are of little use. They seem to prefer standing around outdoors, in people's gardens. They only move in their five minute lunch breaks.

[Jerry Oz]

Tricky little guys. They stand in your garden watching out as three or four of their friends are inside cleaning you out. Statistics have shown gnome invasions are in the rise.

[arr&bee]

Yeah they even got a commercial,although that one looks a little stiff but he knows his lines.

[Jerry Oz]

He went to the Ben Affleck School of Acting. They teach you that you're doing it wrong if you look as if you are expressing a human emotion while reading your lines.

[arr&bee]

Oh i see,so maybe the little guy will be robin to afflick's batman in the next film...the origin of the stiff.

[Jerry Oz]

I read a graphic novel about the Dynamic Duo after they fought their arch rival, Bulldozer Man. After their epic battle they looked more like Flatman and Ribbon.

[westgrandboulevard]

That pair was always on the level.

[Jerry Oz]

Batman was always one who touched the edges of ethical response to significant threats. In his battle against Bulldozer Man, he took anabolic steroids even though he knew they were against the Justice League rules and regulation. He had his lawyer draw up an injunction preventing them from suspending him for two fights until he got back up to speed.

It pays to be rich, my friends.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, and the ability to fly is undoubtedly a further advantage.

[arr&bee]

Umm back on topic,who plays the monster???

[Jerry Oz]

Good question. Maybe we can call Littlebits and see if she's interested.

[arr&bee]

Oh didn't you hear,littlebits lost all that weight,now she's known as[bits an peices]...i'm gonna have to get one of my goons..opps-err-ahem-hehe..my guys to play the part,i got just the guy...big duufuss,he 's always buggin me about giving him something to do yep he's the monster and at seven four-six hundred pounds i think he fits the build,now i better warn moe not to wear too much makeup,big duufuss falls in love easy and he may forget that this is just a movie and carry moe off like the last lady i put him in charge of.

[Jerry Oz]

Didn't Big Duufuss get shot* off of the Empire State Building by bi-planes? Or was that his little brother?

[arr&bee]

No he was in jail and couldn't audition so that ham actor[kong]got the part.

[westgrandboulevard]

Plane facts. Should have seen them coming.

[Jerry Oz]

Yeah, it was Kong in that role. I asked him later if it was hard falling 100 stories to the pavement. He told me that it was not as hard as one would think. After all, nobody ever died from falling from a high place. Most usually died after the fall suddenly stopped.

[westgrandboulevard]

They were all one-take performances. They don't make them like that, anymore.

They can't.

No one left....

[Jerry Oz]

And that, children, is a cautionary tell about trying to get high.

[westgrandboulevard]

Especially when monkeying around....

[Jerry Oz]

Some people monkey around by trying to spell difficult words like 'tale' on line.*

[westgrandboulevard]

Tail me about it....:rolleyes:

[Jerry Oz]

I didn't realize that was an area of opportunity for me. It's almost two scary too consider that I'm capable of typos like that one, to.

[westgrandboulevard]

I often find myself getting my mords wuddled.

[arr&bee]

Kong had to get his[shins]replaced after that stunt and was never the same again.

[westgrandboulevard]

Several inches shorter, to be exact.

[144man]

Allow for another inch as osteoporosis runs in his family.

[westgrandboulevard]

Just as long as the blood continues to run in the veins.....

[Jerry Oz]

He learned [[the hard way) that it's not good to monkey around in a relationship.

[westgrandboulevard]

Other people might go ape......

[Jerry Oz]

Well, it's hard to react when things get hairy.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's hard not to react when things start biting in the hair.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, intelligent creatures control the impulse to flea.

[144man]

He who fights and runs away lives to run away another day.

[Jerry Oz]

Only if he runs faster than the guy chasing him...

[westgrandboulevard]

And the man behind is unarmed.....

[arr&bee]

I told big duufuss that he would be the next[kong]he likes kong.

[westgrandboulevard]

I would like a description of big duufuss, so I can recognise him on first sight.

[arr&bee]

Imagine[frankenstein's monster]with an attitude.

[westgrandboulevard]

Does he happen to work in airport customs security?

[arr&bee]

No but he was the bouncer at a cemetary til the patrons complained.

[westgrandboulevard]

They weren't going to take it lying down.

[arr&bee]

His singing keep em awake.

[144man]

Does he happen to work in airport customs security?

He said he had an attitude, not an altitude.

[arr&bee]

Big duufuss doesn't know the difference anyhow.

[Jerry Oz]

Truth. I asked him what his altitude was and he wondered what I meant. So I asked him how high he was and he said 'no more than normal for all the weed that I smoked'.

[arr&bee]

YEP,THAT'S BIG DUUFUSS ALWAYS GOT AN ANSWER,AND ALWAYS HIGH OR DRUNK BUT DON'T WORRY MOE I HID ALL DRUGS AND ALCHOHOL TIL AFTER HIS BIG SCENE...[because if big duufuss were drunk he might drop you into the next county]AND THAT WOULD HOLD UP PRODUCTION.

[144man]

Shredded duck. Spring onions. Copped up cucumber. Hoisin sauce. Lettuce leaves. I do believe we have a wrap!

[Jerry Oz]

Well, stick a fork in it if it's done.

[arr&bee]

They locked big duufuss in the tower,but his snoring kept london awake...they kicked him out.

[Jerry Oz]

Who is London? Another guy on the production crew?

[arr&bee]

Never mind that,get your typwriter and get over to the uk,i want this stuff typed up for prosparity.

[Jerry Oz]

Sorry but i cant tipe. usuoly i have my wif do it four me and she wint on strike jus now.

[arr&bee]

Don't worry i'll have one of my people proof read it,bring your polaroid too i want pics.

[Jerry Oz]

I pawned my Polaroid for lottery tickets a few weeks ago. If you have $5, I can get it back.

[arr&bee]

Then bring your[kodak brownie].

[Jerry Oz]

Cool. If you have $6, I can buy film for it.

[arr&bee]

$6 i'll have to get back to ya on that.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm still waiting. Just PM and let me know when it's coming. If you send me two quarters for a stamp, I'll forward to you a self-addressed envelope that you can use to mail it.

[arr&bee]

I got a better idea,i need a good camera man so use that fifty cents and catch a cab down to da hood,my hoodlums..opps-err-ahem-hehe..my associates will meet you and take you to the flophouse..opps-err-ahem-hehe..the four star hotel you'll be staying at oh and in the lobby there's a phonebooth so stand near it and when the phone rings twice pick it up,it'll be me with instructions...oh bring plenty of quarters this phone ain't free.

[Jerry Oz]

I'll pass. That's not a four star hotel, it's a four stare motel and by the time the fourth stare, you're likely to be mugged.

[arr&bee]

JERRY,JERRY YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR...[I hope]IGNORE THE STARES..THEY STARE AT ALL THIER VICTIMS...OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..AT ALL VISITORS,DON'T LISTEN TO WEST,WHEN HE STAYED THEY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HIS ACCENT,THEY THOUGHT HE WAS THE RENT MAN...JERRY YOU HAVE MY PERSONAL WORD,NOW I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.

[Jerry Oz]

Should I tell them I'm your lawyer when I call? Or have you been sprung this week?

[arr&bee]

Tell you're my agent,that and a small donation[700%]above the legal limits should cover it.

[Jerry Oz]

Got it. Now, where is my 'Will work for food' sign? Now that Spring has returned, I need to go claim my favorite intersection anyway. I should have that by 6:00 PM, so long as these suckers believe that I'm a veteran of foreign wars who is down on his luck.

[arr&bee]

DON'T WORRY,IF YOU GO DOWN TO DA HOOD YOU WON'T NEED A SIGN[everybody is down on his luck there,except me].

[Jerry Oz]

Well, if you think that the 'will work for food' message means that I will work for food, you're nuts. I didn't have enough crayons to spell 'I'm willing to stand here on this intersection for five hours a day to get enough money for my booze and/or drugs' on the cardboard that I found.

[arr&bee]

Jerry i got a new job for ya,get over to the[uk]and check on west operations,nobody steals an actress from me,except me...there's a tramp steamer leaving at midnight,just wear dark shades and walk fast.

[Jerry Oz]

Wait a minute... When you say 'there's a tramp steamer leaving at midnight', are you referring to the actress you want to steal? If that's how you describe her, she sound like a fine woman.

[arr&bee]

NO JERRY,THE SHIP THAT YOU'RE GONNA SAIL ON...[don't worry about the rust on the hull]IT'LL FALL OFF ALONG THE WAY...[I hope].

[Jerry Oz]

Sounds cool. It would sound cooler if there was a steamy tramp on the tramp steamer, but I guess I'll do it your way.

[arr&bee]

Geez jerry,you want too much but i'll have a tramp or two waiting for you if you make it..opps err-ahem-hehe..when you arrive...i'm sending a life jacket nothing to worry about,this is an authentic one used by the last known survivor of the titanic,jerry i spare no expenses for your safety.

[Jerry Oz]

Don't worry about the life jacket. I stole the seat from the last airplane flight that I took because the attendant said that it could be used as a personal flotation device. I'll just bring it on the steam tramper thingee.

[144man]

Beware! Our gunboat is on full alert.

[Jerry Oz]

Excellent! It's good to know that you're prepared for the tramp that's coming your way.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SrSolFbzXg8/USFup6Myr9I/AAAAAAAABps/5mCHJSOj4Bk/s320/DSCN8170.jpg

[arr&bee]

Hey jerry,you're lookin good there,keep me informed.

[arr&bee]

HEY JERRY,DID YOU MAKE IT PAST THE BORDER PATROL[I had the spotlights unplugged so you could sail in unseen].

[Jerry Oz]

They almost caught me. Fortunately, there was a load of almond trees on my ship that were bound for an arboreum in London. Quick thinking led me to climb into one and to act like a nut and they were none the wiser.

[144man]

Special Branch are on your case.

[Jerry Oz]

Then I'll climb down the tree. I'll be so low, they will never root me out.

[144man]

Your actions may well stump them.

[Jerry Oz]

Exactly. And when they pause to compare their notes, I'll leaf.

[arr&bee]

Jerry you're the best i got,great work,there's a bonus for you if you make it..opps-err-ahem-hehe..when you get back.

[Jerry Oz]

I might not want to come back. I love it over here for the most part. The only part I don't like was when I went to the historic London Dairy. I never went to a dairy before and I couldn't imagine anything stank like the London Dairy air until I was near it.

[144man]

How about the London derriere?

[westgrandboulevard]

Now you're getting to the bottom of it....

[Jerry Oz]

I was going to come up with a play on 'derriere', butt I'll leave it alone...

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes agreed, the very best thing to do is simply sit on it.

[Jerry Oz]

You are correct. And turn the other cheek when you can.

[144man]

Enough of these cracks!

[Jerry Oz]

Yes. Let us put it all behind.

[arr&bee]

Pssssssssss,hey jerry...over here behind the barrels,no it's not actually me but a recording i ran out of funds for your mission,so get back home before the captain checks your ticket.

[Jerry Oz]

He almost caught me without the ticket. I had to think quick to avoid detection, so I jumped into a barrel of almonds and acted like a nut. He found my reference novel for seafaring, though and I was not pleased with that. If you get a chance, I highly recommend you read 'How I Fell Overboard' by Ilene Dover.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,jerry i owe you a bonus,and the next time i see you i'll give it to ya.

[Jerry Oz]

I'll look forward to it. I can use the extra loot to buy the self-help book 'Bladder Relief In 30 Days' which was written by I.P. Freeley.

[arr&bee]

I know his brother..u.r.a.turd..funky cat.

[arr&bee]

Things are looking up.

[Jerry Oz]

Why does that sound creepy to me? Things are looking up?

What things?! And what are they looking for...???

[arr&bee]

Big things comin jerry and you are gonna be right there in the middle of it too,yessiree this is gonna be good!!!!?????

[westgrandboulevard]

That sounds like a weather report being broadcast by a madman......probably via Fox.

[arr&bee]

WEST,MY MAN WHERE YA BEEN...[don't tell me]WELCOME BACK FROM WHEREVER,SOME GOOD STUFF COMING SOON,THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

[westgrandboulevard]

I've been right here all the time, closely studying the action on my monitor screen.

[arr&bee]

No,you mean you've been here all this time??well i'll be the son of a monkey's uncle...well welcome back from right here all the time,i've always wanted to go there.

[Jerry Oz]

I think that would make you the monkey's cousin. I Googled it make sure. Easier than saying " son of a monkey's uncle" unless you don't want to refer directly to your Pops or cousin.

I think...

[westgrandboulevard]

If he did want to refer directly to his Pops or cousin, wouldn't it be even easier if he emailed them at a zoo somewhere? :confused:

[arr&bee]

You two been readin again,haven't you?

[westgrandboulevard]

I enjoy reading dictionaries. They explain exactly what's happening as I make my way through them.

[arr&bee]

That explains you.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well yes, I suppose it might have thrown a little light on me, but it might be easier to simply use a torch....

[Jerry Oz]

Your torch reference was brilliant...

[westgrandboulevard]

Thank you for your illuminating remark, Jerry!

I had a great aunt who worked as an usherette at our local cinema. [[you can tell just how long ago it was, by that job description of 'usherette'). She was known to be sweet natured and chatty, but could become a little disorientated when negotiating the rows of stalls in the darkness of the auditorium.

During one memorable performance, she became so extremely flustered, she sat on her own torch, and showed herself up in the Circle.....

[arr&bee]

Thanks west for lighting things up, i can see what's ahead now.

[Jerry Oz]

I have a friend who got fired from a butcher's shop after he backed into a neat slicer for the third time in a month. His boss told him that he can't employ somebody who keeps getting behind in his work.

[[Rimshot!)

[westgrandboulevard]

Ta-dah!

Poor man, he was only trying to make ends meat.....

[arr&bee]

Some folks just keep[butting]in.

[westgrandboulevard]

There's no end to it.

[Jerry Oz]

And that's about as good ass it gets.

[144man]

I too have a friend who worked at a butcher's and she also backed into a slicer. Dis-arsed-her!

[arr&bee]

Such a sad tail.

[Jerry Oz]

We have to get to the bottom of these butcher shop accidents.

[arr&bee]

Good idea jerry,now i want you to go down to da hood after dark of course and were that polish sausage outfit, and just lay in front of greasy grady's grease bowl..[he's cook anything]and when he put's you in the fryer we got him.

[Jerry Oz]

Little known fact: Greasy Grady is also a top-notch florist. If you buy some fried fish from him, don't forget to buy a dozen roses for your significant other.

Little known fact: Hugh Laurie, star of the show 'House' has made it a point to put people who dabble in more than one type of business out of operation of the past few years. He says they avoid paying taxes by hiding income in their balance sheets.

Little known fact: Only Hugh can prevent florist fryers.

[arr&bee]

Oh jerry,that sausage outfit is fireproof right?

[Jerry Oz]

It was. It was Harvey-proof though. Harvey is my second cousin once removed who saw it and ate it during a recent cookout. He had the nerve to suggest that it was rude to hide food in the locked basement storage room.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,jerry you got some strange relatives.

[Jerry Oz]

You should meet some of my internet friends.