Just a chime....or??

[Jerry Oz]

Burr-bun is the pronunciation that I most frequently hear. That, or "hooch" if you are in a hurry and don't have time for an extra syllable.

[westgrandboulevard]

Hooch of the arr&bee variety wouldn't suit customers in a hurry. They'll need to be very patient.

[144man]

We always say choc-chip cookies - never choc-chip biscuits.

Westgrand, it's nip and tuck whether I like custard creams better than bourbons.

[westgrandboulevard]

114man, on the subject of custard creams....

I recently bought a pack of Tesco Everyday Value custard creams for, I think, 35p.

They indeed seemed very good value for the money.

Right next to them on the shelf was another pack, same weight I believe, also a Tesco 'brand', for a shade less than double the price - say 67p/68p.

Next time in,I bought one of the other packs, plus another of the Everyday Value, just for comparison.

Then I tried them on several people [[we have a 'hospitality' biscuit tin in our shop). None of us could tell the difference. They seem exactly the same in every way.

It's a tiny amount of difference in actual money, but I guess one pack attracts a certain section of the market looking for budget purchases- and the other attracts the mass, middle market. One pack, I suppose, is sold at less margin, the other for more.

This must suit the UK market, but I'm given to understand that demand for custard creams in US market is not as strong.

I have yet to carry out the same test on bourbons......!

[Jerry Oz]

If I stop by to see you, just have a box of ginger snaps and we'll be just fine. Cheap. Crunchy. But for some reason, still a delight.

[westgrandboulevard]

Funny, I was thinking at Christmas that I'd make some ,but have not done it yet.

Again, I think of them as Brandy Snaps, but guess they are just the same - flour, butter, demerara sugar, golden syrup, ground ginger and lemon juice.

Yes, old-fashioned but very tasty, and 'more-ish' with cream in the middle.....

[Jerry Oz]

I never had them hot from the oven or with cream in the middle, but that does sound good.

[westgrandboulevard]

They are...especially if the cream is ginger flavoured also.:)

As I'm typing this, my Creole cake is about to come out of the oven - then I can go to bed! There's something very reassuring about the smell of a baking fruit cake.

And I made some shortbread with added semolina earlier, which came out OK.

We have a new oven, which is fan only. The previous one was conventional as well as fan, and I always stuck with the conventional option.

I'm on a learning curve, I just feel........!

[144man]

I have been buying Tesco Everyday Value custard creams for some time now.

[Jerry Oz]

I find myself reading food labels more these days. I don't know how it is over there, but almost everything on the shelves in the US has genetically modified soy and corn in it. I will pass on eating what Dr. Frankenstein cooks up in his lab if I can.

[westgrandboulevard]

My first thought was that you were referring to ready made foods/meals, but I suppose you could also be referring to 'fresh' foods- ?

In our household, we try to have as much fresh food as possible - but our lifestyle and work schedules do allow us the time to prepare much of our food from scratch, and I know that's difficult, if not impossible, for many others to do.

UK law states that if GMOs are present, the label must make reference to the fact. I have a feeling that would apply much more to prepared foods.

I've not noticed many or any references to GMOs on those labels, which makes me think it is not so common in this country - but you've now set me wondering if I've ever really looked...

[arr&bee]

I guess it would be an understatement to say that you two are..really cookin.

[westgrandboulevard]

While we're on the topic, what are your favourite dishes, arr&bee?

[arr&bee]

Beyonce..pam grier..lola falana..freda payne..jayne kennedy.

[westgrandboulevard]

All hot in your book, and good enough to eat, even if all you can do is just look....

[Jerry Oz]

I'm laughing at the inclusion of Beyonce in that list. I'm surprised that he didn't have Deniece Nicholas and Diahann Carroll on it.

[144man]

Lola Folana is a complete unknown in the UK.

[Jerry Oz]

Lola Falana became the most desired woman in America when Bill Cosby's variety show debuted in 10,000 BC. She was the lead dancer and introduced the show. The young cats had a hard time figuring out whether to watch it or Monday Night Football for a while. Eventually, MNF won out and her popularity waned when the show was cancelled.
http://creoleindc.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5e0053ef0133ed7235f3970b-800wi

[westgrandboulevard]

Lola Falana was not alone.There are women all around the world who complain that football gets far more attention from their men, than they do.

[Jerry Oz]

Especially since the Lingerie Football League managed to survive for several years here in the States... What a concept.

[westgrandboulevard]

Had never heard of it, so have just checked it out.

I'm not a fan of football, but it would be difficult to regard them as serious contenders, simply by the way they looked.

Were/are they successful - because, or in spite of the way they are dressed?

[Jerry Oz]

I believe they are expanding the number of franchises. I'm sure that their relative success is directly related to their manner of undress. There are semi-professional women's football leagues that are nowhere near successful, mainly because those women are of the 200-300 pound variety and play [[American) football the same way that the men do.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, it sounds as if the 'manner of undress' is their modus operandi, and then playing football becomes a secondary incidental. The spectators become a crowd of quasi voyeurs.

As I said, I'm not a football fan, and it would seem to degrade the game but, if there's a market for it, and it sells tickets.....

I have to say the others you mention don't sound overly attractive. I'm unsure if they would appeal to men, women, or maybe neither.

[144man]

I wonder why women's beach volleyball is so popular in the Olympics:)

[westgrandboulevard]

Volleyball goes right over my head.

Besides, I get all the exercise I need right here on SDF.

[arr&bee]

Hey jerry that pic is hot...smokin i would get goose pimples but the goose i stole em from won't let me use any more...lolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[Jerry Oz]

She was truly fine [[and being a good dancer and singer didn't make her any less attractive, BTW). I couldn't find the intro for "The Bill Cosby Show" on YouTube, but here is a tribute to her as she sings "Sunny" in Italian... Good googly moogly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4DszzZxcZA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4DszzZxcZA

[arr&bee]

Yeah i'm gettin all googly moogly just lookin at her.

[Jerry Oz]

And yet time spares not one of us. I wonder how it caught up with the beautiful Lola? And no, I refuse to Google it to find out. Leave me with my memories.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'd only ever heard of Lola Falana because Mary Wilson has mentioned her.

I've just checked her out on Wikipedia, which says she will be 72 in September.

I've checked her out You-Tube, and so should you, Jerry.

Two interviews:
a) Lola Falana - Who Is Lola Falana?
b) Joseph Hooker & Lola Falana - "Don't Cry, Mary"

[[a) was uploaded in May 2009, [[b) in May 2011 - although both may be older - ?

They are interesting clips, and Lola is looking very good, despite having endured MS. She no longer performs in show business, but would still appear to be lovely, and not just on the outside.

Your memories are quite safe, Jerry.....

[Jerry Oz]

I know you cannot see the video I attached to post #2027, WGB, but I also put a link for her singing "Sunny" on the post. To be honest with you, I only remember her as a dancer and I quite enjoyed hearing her sing. I do want to see that duet with John Lee Hooker, so I'm on my way over there shortly. Thanks, amigo.

[westgrandboulevard]

Jerry, it's not John Lee Hooker, it's a Joseph Hooker [[I can tell you're reading there just what you want to read, LOL).

I haven't seen the whole of that particular clip, but firstly Lola speaks directly to camera, then others take over, I think...

And yes thanks, I can view the clip you posted.

[Jerry Oz]

Paging Dr. Freud. Dr. Sigmund Freud, you are requested in the Soulful Detroit Clubhouse...

[westgrandboulevard]

Dr Freud is away just now, having answered an advertisement : "Psychic wanted. You know where we are".

When he finds them, he's going to tell them what they mean, before they actually say it.

[Jerry Oz]

He may have to slip it in on them...

[144man]

Because I can't think of anywhere else to post it, I just thought I'd mention here that Engelbert Humperdinck's new record is a duet with Cliff Richard and revives the Temptations' "Since I Lost My Baby".

[arr&bee]

Don't page him too much...i owe his for the last visit.

[144man]

He soothed me by playing "When You're Jung And In Love".

[westgrandboulevard]

Based on my own experiences, I'd find being reminded of it to be far from soothing......:rolleyes:

[Jerry Oz]

Ahhh... The complexity of relationships. 'Tis better to have loved and left than to have never loved at all that night.

[westgrandboulevard]

Most times, it never got that far. Just remained in the head, as thoughts!

On second thoughts, probably so much better in the long run......

[Jerry Oz]

Yeah, but another couple of draughts and the courage to stumble over, introduce yourself through slurred, drooling words, and make a horrible first impression will be gained. And if you're lucky, the person you're meeting will be just as drunk as you by then and a horrible, life altering, uninhibited moment could be right around the corner.

Ahhh... Thursday nights at the local watering hole... :eek:

[westgrandboulevard]

I can tell you've been there......:)

[Jerry Oz]

Hah! Fortunately, not for decades. My former mates validated my choice to remain [[mostly) sober back then by creating unnecessary drama and complications in their lives thanks to booze and women. But they provided tons of free entertainment for me as their designated driver though. It's too bad cell phone cameras were still more than 20 years away.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, I was a designated driver long before drivers became designated.

There's a good side and a bad side to phone cameras. Very handy as evidence if it's in one's favour - but not so good, if not!

And then there are the increasingly popular 'selfies'.....:D

[Jerry Oz]

I saw a news article about a doctor who determined that there is a global outbreak of head lice thanks to all of those selfies where the chums put their heads together to show close they are.

Ugggggggghhhh....

[westgrandboulevard]

Hmm. Well, I suppose it could be true. Or could it be scaremongering

And I'm sure there really are all sorts of bugs in the ordinary things we have at home, like mattresses, pillows, rugs...

[Jerry Oz]

...Spices, weiners, canned vegetables, apple sauce, hamburger...

[westgrandboulevard]

Are you meaning the bugs are in the foodstuffs you mention above, Jerry - or that the foodstuffs are in the household items - for example, spices are dropped in rugs...? :confused:

[Jerry Oz]

The US government has permissable levels of bugs, rat hair, and other critters in most processed foods because it would otherwise require manufacturers to take an onerous level of diligence to prevent them. Apparently, that nasty stuff isn't going to kill you [[it's just more protein, after all), so they give them an allowance for how much our foods may contain. Most consumers don't know [[or want to know) that...

[144man]

I'm sure after all those years of living together in symbiosis, some of those bugs are going to be positively beneficial.

[Jerry Oz]

Or possibly tasty.

[westgrandboulevard]

What the eye doesn't see, etc....

I needed to remove the bag from the vacuum cleaner today. I paused briefly to reflect on the astounding amount of fibre, fluff, and hair which had accumulated in quite a short period of time since the bag was last replaced. Where does it all come from.....

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa,take one sip of this wonderful elixur and...bugs,mites,flies,fleas will be gone in seconds.

[Jerry Oz]

As will livers and stomach linings...

[westgrandboulevard]

....but it still kills 99% of all known household germs.....

[Jerry Oz]

...and makes the last 1% quite happy...

[westgrandboulevard]

...especially as they know that they are the ones which will kill YOU.....

[Jerry Oz]

We will all be fodder for something one day. I suppose it would be better to be dead before the feast begins, though...

[westgrandboulevard]

May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead ;)

[arr&bee]

I had better set my clock ahead.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, being dead on time is sometimes overrated.

[arr&bee]

All this talk of death is making me thirsty,time for a sip...ahhhhhhhhh.

[westgrandboulevard]

Hope you enjoyed that sip of hemlock.

[Jerry Oz]

The only thing that hooch will kill is probably your appetite.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's downhill all the way after that.

[Jerry Oz]

It makes you feel like you're going downhill, sideways, backwards, and around in circles, but if it doesn't knock you out, then you need another drink.

[westgrandboulevard]

"If it doesn't knock you out, then you need another drink"

Could form the basis of a useful advertising slogan for a drinks company..........

[Jerry Oz]

Or a lecher to his unsuspecting date...

[westgrandboulevard]

Some unsuspecting dates could drink any lecher under the table....

[Jerry Oz]

Love is... Love is strange.

[westgrandboulevard]

And there's nothing stranger than other people's loves....:rolleyes:

[Jerry Oz]

I know a lot of parents who feel that way about their kids' choice of mates. I'm sure the kids feel that way sometimes about the parents...

[144man]

Yes, being dead on time is sometimes overrated.

You can't be dead on time, because if you're dead then you're "late".

[Jerry Oz]

Unless she tells you that she's "late". In which case you suddenly wish you were dead.

[144man]

Can a ghost have a phantom pregnancy?

[westgrandboulevard]

Quite possibly, especially if she had experienced a phantasm.

[arr&bee]

You know that you don't stand a[ghost]of a chance of this being taken seriously.

[westgrandboulevard]

No, but it helps to keep our spirits up ;)

[Jerry Oz]

Speaking of spirits, when will the hooch be ready?

[arr&bee]

Jerry my man,the hooch is always ready,but are you ready for the hooch???

[westgrandboulevard]

Give him the chance, I say.

[Jerry Oz]

Thanks, WGB. One question, though... Should I drink it from a shot glass, Stein, or barrel?

[westgrandboulevard]

Whatever you do, you might need to take it with a pinch of salt :)

[Jerry Oz]

Or rosary beads...

[westgrandboulevard]

Arr&bee is, of course, no stranger to confessionals....

[Jerry Oz]

He's the reason so many priests drink hooch. The burdon of having that knowledge [[arr&bee's sins) must be stressful.

[westgrandboulevard]

There are many priests out there who sin more than arr&bee, hard as it is to believe...

[Jerry Oz]

Not so hard. The Bible says that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. And "all" means "all". Priests see included.

[westgrandboulevard]

Being 'good', if that can be only in some respects, always did come at a cost which, at times, seems high.

[Jerry Oz]

Again, "good" is subjective. I'm pretty sure that Ming the Merciless only wanted to rule Mongo because he thought that he was the best man for the job. However, Flash Gordon, Dale Arden, Dr. Zarkov, and his ungrateful subjects disagreed. To them, he's a despot. To him, they're insurrectionists.

So, which of them is "good"?

[westgrandboulevard]

They all, of course, thought they were good.

I guess we all think we're good, until someone tells us we're not, or leads us to feel we're not.

I was thinking more of being 'good' in a quieter sense, in the way that virtue is considered to be 'good', and to be the 'ideal'.

A lot of people who don't agree with being virtuous in the strict sense of the word, really can't stand anyone who might try to represent those values - which then leads to conflict.

Going back to post # 2088: although I was being a little tongue-in-cheek, it certainly seems there are indeed priests who do not uphold the values of their faith and, in reality, often should not be trusted. Looking good, and being good, can be poles apart.

[Jerry Oz]

There is darkness in everybody. The trick to being human is figuring out how to handle it. Does having a voice obligate you to speak whatever is on your mind? Should possessing a firearm give you authority over those who don't? Should the majority decide what is good for the minority? Should Daddy rule Mommy with the threat of physical or emotional violence since he's stronger and more manipulative than she?

Thank God, most of us realizing the true nature of power do not give in to negativity and darkness. Anne Frank was right, after all.

[arr&bee]

OK JERRY NOW YOU'VE DONE IT,MENTIONED A VOICE NOW VOICE IS GONNA BE ON ME LIKE A CHEAP SUIT ABOUT MORALITY AND ALL THAT BORING STUFF...[I hear him coming gotta run]

[Jerry Oz]

I was going to add "does having hooch obligate you to drink it" but the post ran a little long. I knew the answer, anyway...

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm ambivalent about the answer, as I can see that "yes" and "no" would both suffice....

[Jerry Oz]

Given that it has an alcohol content of 150% [[for genuine 300 proof arr&bee slap-yo-mama-and-call-me-Shirley hooch), it'll evaporate in an hour or less. You'd be wasting it by not drinking it before then...

[westgrandboulevard]

That comes under my reason for 'yes' - it won't keep so, if you've got it, might as well use it.

Reason for 'no' - having something offers us an opportunity, but not necessarily completely. For example, eating out offers the opportunity but, once having eaten enough, it's not absolutely essential to finish the meal.

However, on the subject of hooch, and in view of rapid evaporation, I'm veering towards answering 'yes, having it obligates you to drink it' - except that one could share it, I guess.....?

[Jerry Oz]

Sharing is no fun. You can only be half as drunk if you drink half as much.

[arr&bee]

given that it has an alcohol content of 150% [[for genuine 300 proof arr&bee slap-yo-mama-and-call-me-shirley hooch), it'll evaporate in an hour or less. You'd be wasting it by not drinking it before then...um jerry,you on crack??i would shut down my whole operation before i make anything as weak as[150%]it's 1000% pure hooch,only the best poisons...[opps-err-ahem-hehe]ingredients are used.

[westgrandboulevard]

In view of those bizarre percentages, I suspect there is no known antidote....

[Jerry Oz]

Or container that can hold it long enough to store. No wonder it's gone so soon. You either drink it or wait for it to explode, so you're actually doing a public service to put it away as fast as possible.

Ingenious...

[westgrandboulevard]

But what happens if you drink it, and then YOU explode?

[arr&bee]

Now you get the picture,no you won't explode but your brain will shrink just a bit,but since we only use ten percent it's no big deal...drink up.

[westgrandboulevard]

There is now a graph on the study wall.

One line tracks the steady decline of brain activity, due to age.

The other tracks the benefits of hooch consumption.

When they meet, I'll drink to it!

[Jerry Oz]

Would those lines be the tracks of my beers?

[westgrandboulevard]

Viewed retrospectively, then "yes"

More positive to view them as representing a projected target, to be beaten....

[Jerry Oz]

As long as the lines don't get blurry, I suppose it to be good...

[arr&bee]

Blurry???haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa one sip of this wonderful elixur and you'll be waaaaaaaay past blurry.

[westgrandboulevard]

The target consumption will just need to be viewed in soft focus, then.....

[Jerry Oz]

Believe what he says about the elixur, BTW. I had a nasty box cut and couldn't find any isopropyl to put on it before bandaging. So I used hooch. It didn't kill the bacteria, mind you but they're now slurring their words and driving into telephone poles.

[westgrandboulevard]

Best prepare yourself to hear from the Union Of Bacteria's legal representative....

[Jerry Oz]

I'm pretty sure there's plenty for everybody...

[westgrandboulevard]

There is always going to be far more of 'them', than 'us'. We're hopelessly outnumbered.

[Jerry Oz]

This is true! To prove it, I invite you to visit many singles bars on a Saturday night. The bacteria is everywhere, usually wearing sagging pants while sporting a gold tooth, cheap hair extensions, sagging pants, and a rather bad homemade tattoo, complements of a drunk friend or former cellmate. Viewed under a microscope or next to some hot chick, the germs are frightening up close.

[westgrandboulevard]

The worst advertisement for staying single, ever. Only a mother would love some of them....:)

[Jerry Oz]

And some [[single) mothers do. You'll find a woman with five kids by five different men, each of them who have five kids by five different women. Two generations can have a "family reunion" and fill a concert hall. But who am I to cast aspersions? The world has clearly moved on without me...

[arr&bee]

That's why this[wonderful elixur]is needed now more than ever,to create your own world,remember the classic[world of fantasy-the five stairsteps]what do you think he was sipping on when he recorded it?

[westgrandboulevard]

Sipping on? I thought he was bathing in it...

[Jerry Oz]

That explains "Screaming" Jay Hawkins, now... I learn so much from you guys.

[westgrandboulevard]

....but it's not always something we can have pride in sharing..!

[Jerry Oz]

It's cool. I learned a lot of the same stuff from Dad and my uncles as a boy. They didn't know that they were teaching me, mind you. But boy, did I learn!

[144man]

Did you learn through ozmosis?

[westgrandboulevard]

I can understand you using the name 'Jerry', but have been wondering how 'Oz' fits in.......

[Jerry Oz]

It's my favorite syllable. I also have gone by "Ozone" on occasion... See? "Oz one"'..

[westgrandboulevard]

You're in a good position to try The Ozard of Wiz.........

[Jerry Oz]

That's what you call it after a taste of arr&bee's wonderful elixur...

[westgrandboulevard]

One should be grateful for the ability to speak, I guess.

This wonderful elixur is very much an acquired taste.

If you could acquire it, you could taste it.

[Jerry Oz]

And if you could taste it, you would lose the ability to speak. It all works together in a way that cannot be coincidental.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's known as homicide.

[Jerry Oz]

And it can cause dain bramage if you aren't careful. I mean it will mess you up, like bad, man.

[144man]

You can't live without oxygen, but nothing is deadlier than ozone. The wonderful elixir is somewhere in between.

[westgrandboulevard]

Somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea, then.....

[Jerry Oz]

People aren't scared of Ozone. When I tell them that's my moniker, they laugh and ask me if I'm going to give them skin cancer if they try to take my lunch. And then they do it anyway. [[drumroll and rimshot)

[westgrandboulevard]

Ozone layered sandwich, by any chance....

[arr&bee]

Well i see the gang's all here,where you guys been i'm tired of talkin to voice,he always wants the last word.

[westgrandboulevard]

We've just been sat here, chatting among ourselves.

What did Voice have to say?

[arr&bee]

Hello,Mr.Westgrandboulevard,Dear Sir I've tried for years without success to get Jai to stop his drinking and hallucinating but he will never listen to reason or change his bad habits.

[westgrandboulevard]

Westgrandboulevard to Voice :

"Then if you can't beat 'em, join 'em"

[Jerry Oz]

And if you can't join 'em, beat 'em. That will teach them to be selfish.

[westgrandboulevard]

I have a feeling that Voice taught arr&bee everything he knows....

[arr&bee]

Sir I've tried to reason with Jai,but he refuses to listen...OK VOICE ENOUGH OF YOUR JIVE TALK,I'M HANGIN WITH MY PEEPS OVER HERE AND WE GONNA DRINK HOOCH AN CHILL SO GET LOST....See what I have to deal with.

[westgrandboulevard]

Is he your chauffeur?

[arr&bee]

HE'S A PAIN....Jai be nice.

[westgrandboulevard]

Maybe you're not paying him enough.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, it's hard to get good help these days regardless of how much you're paying. If you pay them too little, they're indignant. If you pay them too much, they're self-important and think they're the boss. So, what are you going to do?

[westgrandboulevard]

Marry them?:rolleyes:

[Jerry Oz]

Yah, but in the case of arr&bee and VOICE, there's very clearly irreconcilable differences from the onset. If they got married, it'd get ugly fast.

[westgrandboulevard]

Separation, and staying that way, seems the way to go.

[Jerry Oz]

Especially since there's not enough hooch for two...

[westgrandboulevard]

There's no evidence yet that there's enough hooch even for one...

[arr&bee]

OH THERE'S HOOCH A PLENTY...Jai today is sunday and you should be in church.....YEAH THE CHURCH OF WHAT'S HAPPENIN NOW,HEHEHEHE....you're just a hopeless sinner....THAT'S RIGHT NOW GET LOST.

[westgrandboulevard]

Voice is right on your tail, arr&bee. You keep telling him to get lost, and he doesn't.

He seems rather......well....attached to you, somehow.....

[Jerry Oz]

They do seem rather close now that you mention it... Did they come here together?

[westgrandboulevard]

It's curious. You might see and hear arr&bee approaching you, but when he turns and walks away, then you might see and hear Voice.

[Jerry Oz]

One has to go back to guard the wonderful elixur...

[westgrandboulevard]

But first, it has actually to be made. That word' legendary' has more than one connotation.....

[arr&bee]

I'VE TRIED TO GET VOICE TO LOOSEN UP BUT HE AIN'T HAVIN IT,OFFERED HIM SOME ELIXUR BUT HE SAID THE SMELL MADE HIM ILL AND NAUSOUS[WHO TALKS LIKE THAT ANYHOW?]...Jai you are such an uncouth person with your drinking and running that terrible still I'm trying to help you but you are lost...I AIN'T LOST I'M RIGHT HERE[I THINK]AND I DON'T RUN A STILL I HAVE A CORPORATION THE PROVIDES A VALUBLE SERVICE TO THIS COUNTRY.

[westgrandboulevard]

Voice seems a little easier with spelling than you, arr&bee. Did he pay more attention to his Headucation?

[arr&bee]

DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM WEST...[HE RIGHTS FUNNY YA KNOW CAPITOL LETTERS WHERE THERE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE]HE'S TOO GOODY TWO SHOES...Well we finally agree on something,there may be hope for you yet....SEE WHAT I MEAN,THERE'S NO HOPE FOR ME GET LOST.

[westgrandboulevard]

Abandon hope all ye who enter his head.

[144man]

I have a Voice as well. It makes me delete things before I post them. If it wasn't for my Voice, I'd have been banned from SDF long ago.

[westgrandboulevard]

SDF needs more active members like you, who pause to review their post before they then press 'send'.......:)

[Jerry Oz]

Instead of the ones who type it out, read it, know that it's way over the top and mean before thinking "ahh, [[bleep) it." At that point, they add "ahh, [[bleep) it" to the over the top and mean post and press "send".

[arr&bee]

Hey jerry i'm glad we don't do that over here...we don't make enough sense to ever be mean.

[westgrandboulevard]

From where I'm sitting, all the "ahh, [[bleep) it" type posts do seem to originate from the US....

[arr&bee]

Hey west i think you just fired the shot heard round the world.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, most of the SDF members are in US, so it stands to reason that most of the good 'uns, and most of the bad 'uns, will hail from the same place.;)

[Jerry Oz]

Oh really? Well, [[bleep) you!

J/K...

[westgrandboulevard]

I rest my case.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, whenever you point one finger a t someone else, there are four fingers pointing back at you...

Okay, I will be honest and admit that civil discourse is lost in our fine country. People seem to believe that their opinions are the only ones that reasonable people should have. All other opinions are not only wrong, but those holding them have no right to make their opinions known. It's sad to consider the level of vitriol that is commonly displayed.

[westgrandboulevard]

Oh, I was just speaking dryly, in response to arr&bee's comment "I'm glad we don't do that over here". He must surely have said it in an ironic sense.

I'm trying to read the last sentence in your post above, but it's hard to concentrate with all the din that's coming from the Supremes "Petition" thread! 'Vitriol' and 'displayed' are two key words.

[144man]

I'm tempted to go over there and join in the mayhem.

[westgrandboulevard]

Somebody really should call the police.

A neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said "You hear about it happening to other people, but never think it will ever happen to you. It must be something they posted on that Bookface, to encourage such goings on. This is usually such a quiet place...."

[Jerry Oz]

It never ceases to amaze me when people suggest to reporters that "this sort of thing never happens around here". Of course it does. It happens everywhere. You are just able to ignore it until the news showed up and proved you to be a liar on live television.

[westgrandboulevard]

I couldn't resist the quote, because it does keep coming up, doesn't it?! Although I perhaps wouldn't say they were lying, but just being in denial - although, I suppose, actually lying to themselves, if that's what you meant...

Another thing that is starting to irritate me is when spokespeople from emergency and rescue services are asked, after a major incident, to make a comment for a very brief slot on TV.

The cameras are on them and then they invariably begin on the lines of "Before I begin, I would just like to say that my heart goes out to the family of the victims, and the thoughts and prayers of myself and my colleagues are with them at this most difficult time etc etc...". By the time they've said that, half their time slot has gone, with them just wanting to show how caring and compassionate they are as individuals - but their job requires them to rescue people, say little, and remain clear-headed, focused and dispassionate.

[arr&bee]

it never ceases to amaze me when people suggest to reporters that "this sort of thing never happens around here". Of course it does. It happens everywhere. You are just able to ignore it until the news showed up and proved you to be a liar on live television.we're on live tv???well i gotta get sharp,now where's my genuine imitation skunkskin triple breasted suit with the genuine imitation real looking fake goldbuttons and i gotta wear my genuine fake skunkskin shoes...man them things are cool.

[Jerry Oz]

I borrowed them, friend. I wore them to my vasectomy last week. As my Dad always told me, "Son, if you wants to be impotent, you gots to look impotent".

I'll get them back to you soon.

[westgrandboulevard]

They'll be on eBay within the hour, 'as worn by a media star'....

[Jerry Oz]

Yeah, we'll put Justin Bieber's photo up wiyh the auction. So long as we don't say they were worn by that media star, we should be okay, right?

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, for one or two reasons, probably not OK for long [[LOL) but it's a interesting idea all the same.

And anyway....Justin Bieber may have a much greater public awareness but, in your own unique way, you are a media star, too.....

[Jerry Oz]

Yah, I'm a legend in my own mind after I get some of that wonderful elixur...

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, maybe 'legend' as a description would be a little over the top, but you do already have a media identity, if someone knows where they can find you....

[arr&bee]

Hey jerry,don't forget to drive up in a 1972 el dorodo[limegreen]playa.

[Jerry Oz]

I was thinking about a Pacer. Nothing says "class" like a car that is wider than it is long...

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa,pacer man oh man you a real playa,pick me up on the way and we'll go down to the[kit kat club]waaaaayyyy down in da hood.

[westgrandboulevard]

...while another vehicle slowly precedes you both, with lights flashing the sign "Caution, Wide Load".....

[Jerry Oz]

What you describe as a "vehicle" happens to be the headliner tonight at the Kit Kat Club...

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaa,you know that's right they got a go-go girl named littlebits down there[she's down to 400lbs]she shakes the place up,comeon west we got room for ya,littlebits likes the british gentlemen.

[westgrandboulevard]

I have the mental image of a mountain of profiteroles, with a voice like a police car passing at speed, siren blaring.

I'll act like a gentleman, as long as Littlebits acts like a lady....:rolleyes:

[Jerry Oz]

That's not going to happen. Littlebits has chunks of ladies in her stool. She actually went to England once so that they could observe her "Londonderry Air". When asked why she went there instead of France, she cited the favorable exchange rate with England. She said she wanted to be the "pounds for pounds" champion of strippers...

[westgrandboulevard]

You don't get many of Littlebits to the pound.....

[Jerry Oz]

Let's just say that she weighs 400 pounds and she'll throw that weight around if her tips don't total at least that much. And if you thought that "Gorgo" was bad to the London metro, you really don't want to make Littlebits perk up.

[westgrandboulevard]

I may need to have her detained at Heathrow.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm thinking they have a better chance of holding her if you can trick her into going to the London Zoo.

[westgrandboulevard]

You mean, with the promise of meeting some related species - ?

[Jerry Oz]

Nah, just tell her that there's an all-that-you-can-eat buffet in the elephant cage.

[westgrandboulevard]

Littlebits would first need to negotiate the turnstile. That should be a crowd puller in itself.

[Jerry Oz]

Hmmm... Perhaps the good people from Sea World can be helpful. They have experience with handling Killer Whales and that might come in handy should Littlebits find out that London pubs might be more likely to serve fish and chips than fatback and cornbread.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, the London Zoo does have a sizeable aquarium, so that might fit the bill.

Arr&bee would make a fine barker for the event. I can hear it now....

"Step up, step up for this truly wonderful, once in a lifetime event. London Zoo in the nineteenth century proudly presented Jumbo, the largest elephant ever seen, and world famous for giving rides to visitors. Now, in the twenty-first century, the London Zoo equally proudly brings to you Ms Littlebits, who is more than pleased to give rides to visitors. Coach parties welcome! Come and witness her feeding time, and learn something of a wonderful elixur which gives Ms Littlebits all the vim and vigour she needs..."

[Jerry Oz]

I would suppose that Littlebits knows as much about hooch as arr&bee... She probably sweats buckets of it during her two-minute set and a little less during the short set.

[arr&bee]

She'll give you a lap dance too...of course your lap will more than likely break,but a fun time for all...hey is that westgrand sneaking out the side door??

[westgrandboulevard]

It was his body double.

Littlebits' body double could never sneak, ever....

[Jerry Oz]

Actually, Littlebits has a double body, not a body double...

[westgrandboulevard]

That would make four of them, then.

Poor woman. She'll be beside herself....

[Jerry Oz]

Indeed she will. I asked her what she did on her day off and she said that she sat around the house. And when she did, she actually sat AROUND the house...

[westgrandboulevard]

I hope no-one else was at home. It would have seemed like a total eclipse of the sun.

Over here, we play guessing games as to which particular supermarket chain is likely to be a favourite of anyone we see.

Which of yours do you think Littlebits would favour?

[Jerry Oz]

Oh, I'm going to hate myself for saying it, but... Littlebits definitely can be found foraging at Piggly Wiggly. What would be your guess?
http://filmnorthflorida.com/photos/Century:-Piggly-Wiggly-Supermarket/Century:-Piggly-Wiggly-Supermarket_01.jpg

[westgrandboulevard]

Oh dear me, it looks a dump.....:[[

Should Littlebits take up residency in England [[I could say Britain, but Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland may raise objections on the grounds that there simply is no room for her) she would most likely opt to shop in Asda - third largest in market share,owned by WalMart - slogan is/was "Britain's lowest priced supermarket for 16 years running".

I am fairly confident Littlebits would read that slogan to mean "All you can stuff".....

[Jerry Oz]

Oh dear... If she reads anything with the word "running" in it, she'll stop, drop, and roll as fast as she can the other way.

[westgrandboulevard]

Queen of the Couch Potatoes, then. Opening a packet would be exertion enough.....

[Jerry Oz]

Yes, exactly. But don't make the mistake of saying "potatoes" around her. Unless you have some, that is. If you don't have dollar bills for tips when she's dancing, she'll gladly let you substitute steak fries.

[westgrandboulevard]

One thing I need to get straight. Arr&bee describes Littlebits as a go-go dancer, while you refer to her as a stripper. In the US, is there a difference between the two?

[Jerry Oz]

Yes. But "go-go dancers" are something that have not been popular for decades over here. I think some clubs are bringing them back, though, but those are trendy, high-end places that can afford to pay young ladies to do their thing as part of the aesthetic.

[westgrandboulevard]

I think lap and pole dancers superseded the go-go dancer market - which then was gone-gone....?

[Jerry Oz]

Yah, mon. Back in the day, you could look but definitely not touch. And much of what you looked at required you to use your imagination to appreciate it. Now, nothing is left to the imagination and you actually feel dirty to feel dirty.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's often said, and also sung, that "T'ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it".

Well, people need to make a living but , without wanting to make any moral judgements, it's very difficult to do lap or pole dancing with any finesse or style.

Yes, best kept to the imagination. That way, just feeling a bit naughty as much as we like, and for as long as we like, keeps it nice.

Littlebits wouldn't understand that.....

[Jerry Oz]

Littlebits was wearing a halter top and hot pants one Spring day. Her tattoos looked like hieroglyphics on the wall of a massive, bouncy Egyptian tomb. I asked if it was appropriate to have dressed so provocatively with so many children in the park with her. She told me that when she dressed that morning, she put on a pair of culottes and a hockey sweater but they seemed to have shrunk shortly after lunch...

[westgrandboulevard]

That did make me laugh.

I rather think I like Littlebits - although I'm not altogether sure I could cope if ever I were to meet her...:rolleyes:

[Jerry Oz]

Just know the warning signs: If she's on your right side and you hear thunder in your left ear, it's probably just an oncoming storm. If you hear it in your right ear, it's Littlebits getting hungry and it's probably an oncoming storm. Just keep two packs of Oreos in your backpack and remember to replace one when you give the first one to her. It could be problematic if she gets hungry and you are out of food...

[westgrandboulevard]

OK. If ever I go round to her house, I'll pop some raw meat through the letter box before knocking....

[Jerry Oz]

Do that and you'll have a friend [[or lover) for life. Just be aware that her friendship and love are Pavlovian and that she'll expect you to bring raw meat every time you visit or the drooling will soon stop.

[westgrandboulevard]

She really ought to consider relocating to a zoo.

[Jerry Oz]

I've a feeling that her big sister might have a problem with that and try to break her out.

[westgrandboulevard]

Unlikely to be an aerial exercise, then.

And, for security reasons, dare I ask what name her big sister goes by [[you may need to consult with arr&bee before you answer :))

[Jerry Oz]

Her stage name is "Jelly", presumably because jam doesn't shake like that.

[westgrandboulevard]

Over here, we have a jellyfish known as 'The Portuguese Man Of War'. Littlebits' sister must be from the same family.

[Jerry Oz]

Self preservation is the first law of nature. Any man of war, Portuguese, Spartan, Macedonian, or English would turn and run when Jelly shows up angry. And if she's awake, she's probably angry.

[westgrandboulevard]

I suppose Littlebits and Jelly have no need for an agent. They sound like they can take care of business real nicely thank you, and have cut out the middle man [[who disappeared in mysterious circumstances....)

I wonder if they've ever tried wrestling.

[Jerry Oz]

They are accomplished wrestlers. They honed their abilities by fighting for the last four pounds of bacon that their grandmother fixed for breakfast before retiring to check her blood sugar. Granny would have them stand in opposite corners of the room until she put the bacon on the table and the girls would wait until she left before running to get the bacon.

I believe the current theory is that the middle man mistakenly picked up a slice of bacon just as the immovable object met the irresistible force in the dining room. Suffice it to say, one of the immutable laws of nature is that you don't come between Littlebits and Jelly when they are fighting over food.

[westgrandboulevard]

Poor man. I hope he didn't suffer.....

[Jerry Oz]

He didn't suffer nearly as much as the bacon...

[westgrandboulevard]

This whole sad story is a most compelling reason for becoming a vegetarian.

[Jerry Oz]

Amen to that. Those girls turn their noses up to men who do not eat meat. Mainly because if you don't eat meat, you probably don't have a lot of it at your flat, so no food equals no fun.

[westgrandboulevard]

They'd soon be on the phone for the pizza deliveryman!

[Jerry Oz]

They view him in the same way drunken housewives look at male strippers dressed as policemen or firemen. Their ultimate fantasy is a man delivering food to your doorstep.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...you two are nuts...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

WE'RE nuts??! LOL

How dare you, arr&bee.....I'll have you know that Jerry O and me spend a great deal of time, hard at work in the Thought Mines....:rolleyes:

[westgrandboulevard]

Jerry...well, I'll be darned. I wouldn't object to a man delivering food to my doorstep, in a uniform or not. I must have more in common with Littlebits and Jelly than I first thought...:confused:

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa,i'm surprised that you're up this late and yes i know that you two are thinkers,which is cool with me for ihave no time for think but only for drink.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ahem. I can only refer you to my post of the last few minutes, on the "Let it Snow" thread...:rolleyes:

[arr&bee]

Hey west you're the only one other than ralph whom i get a quik response from these days.

[westgrandboulevard]

All the others are on life support.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, my feelings are now hurt. I believe that my record reveals me capable of presenting quick responses.










Eventually.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ha! You are indeed. I'm keeping count. I just got lucky with my own response there.

I, too am always efficient - no matter how l-o-n-g it takes......

[Jerry Oz]

Well, technically, you respond five hours before we read the posts, so you have an unfair advantage on us.

[westgrandboulevard]

You nearly got me believing you there for a minute.....

But...if that is indeed true, then it's true for both sides of the Atlantic. Many of the members who post on SDF would seem to be in the US, and then are likely to post during your evening/night while we're asleep in UK - so those of us here in UK are behind the action when we open up in the morning.....[[it's a hard life....:rolleyes:)

[Jerry Oz]

Okay that last have me a headache. I think I pulled a muscle in my brain thanks to the heady concept...

[arr&bee]

Not at four am jerry..hehehehe.

[westgrandboulevard]

Think we had a similar conversation last autumn.

It's 10.08 am GMT here - and the screen is telling me that it is 4.08 'there', and shows GMT -5.

To my basic maths, it's actually GMT - 6, so I think that might have something to do with putting our clocks forward one hour last weekend, and so we're now on 'British Summer Time'...