cancel

[moe]

You two would be surprised what even elephants would do for R&B's hooch!!:rolleyes:

[westgrandboulevard]

The Mammoth, and arrr&bee's hooch - both extinct!

[144man]

Elephants can't jump, except for Dumbo of course, who, after drinking some hooch, jumped, and never bothered coming down again.

[westgrandboulevard]

Played it by ear.

[arrr&bee]

the mammoth, and arrr&bee's hooch - both extinct!they are not,i'll have you know that just this morning i saw a whooly mammoth in my yard eating peanuts from my peanut tree!!

[westgrandboulevard]

.....just going about its daily tusks, I suppose....:rolleyes:

[moe]

Yes indeed!I peered through the window watching it while perched on my trunk...:D

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm surrounded by people imagining things!:confused:

[moe]

It's that imaginary hooch that makes us do that!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Try telling that to the traffic cop, next time you're pulled over! LOL

[moe]

How do you know the cop hasn't imbibed?

[westgrandboulevard]

I feel a court case looming!

[144man]

I'm on jury service soon. If I get a case, maybe it will be full of hooch.

[westgrandboulevard]

Let's hope the verdict is unanimous:)

[144man]

We can all agree on that. I don't fancy a "Twelve Angry Men" scenario.

[westgrandboulevard]

That would be murder.

Or, would it....?

[144man]

There might be a reasonable doubt...

[westgrandboulevard]

You could phone a friend...?

[moe]

If you're on jury duty don't forget to send out for some good food!!

[westgrandboulevard]

And some hooch for the judge. It could be a long haul.....

[144man]

I shall probably fall asleep.

[westgrandboulevard]

Guilty!!!!

[144man]

Are you displaying contempt of court?

[westgrandboulevard]

I thought you were! Never mind, can sleep it off in the cells.....

[moe]

Better watch........your "cellmates" may want some of that hooch!

[westgrandboulevard]

Guess that's why they're in there in the first place..?!

[144man]

Hooch can sometimes be got behind bars.

[westgrandboulevard]

Make mine a double!

[144man]

It's only a singles bar.

[westgrandboulevard]

Then I'll not return....

[144man]

...until Happy Hour.

[westgrandboulevard]

Hours Is not to reason why.....

[moe]

But to do and imbibe........

[westgrandboulevard]

Seconded! While there are many places which serve food, showing 'all you can eat' signs, but there don't seem to be many pubs and bars inviting us with 'all you can drink'.....

[144man]

I'd like the "all you can eat" option for home delivery.

[westgrandboulevard]

An articulated truck, bound for your nearest supermarket, has been diverted. Enjoy the meal!

[moe]

And he didn't invite us???

[westgrandboulevard]

You said it. The truck had a sign up over the driver's cab. 'Dinner For One'. We could ask if there are any leftovers......

[144man]

Doggy bags will be provided.

[moe]

Thank you. I expected nothing less/more.

[westgrandboulevard]

And if 144man overdoes the gluttony, a rather large body bag will be provided....

[144man]

You can have too much moderation, but never enough gluttony.

[westgrandboulevard]

Is that going on your tombstone?

[144man]

I'm not going to decide on the wording until after it's erected.

[westgrandboulevard]

You must be dying to read what it is....

[144man]

"Die...that's the last thing I shall do." [Lord Palmerston]

[westgrandboulevard]

Live, is what I need to do, so I'm off now for some chocolate :o

[144man]

And I'm off for a liquid lunch.

[westgrandboulevard]

Is the River Thames now safe to drink?

[144man]

As long as you don't get hit by a speedboat.

[moe]

I'll watch you from the Eye..........

[westgrandboulevard]

There's a widespread rumour that the Eye is dangerous if you fall off it, but it's just something going round.

Wear a hard hat, moe. Those pigeons can be murderous.

[moe]

....and the people who fall getting off of it, westgrand!

[westgrandboulevard]

The phrase "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" springs to mind...:)

[moe]

I'll bet the person who fell didn't feel that way!! Ouch!

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm not big on heights. Imagine riding the Eye right up to the highest point, and then the thing stops....

[moe]

That's exactly what happened to me, westgrand. Lady getting off at the bottom fell and the eye was stopped for around 30min. Watched from above as ambulance came for her.

[westgrandboulevard]

You mean that really happened to you, moe? Better you than me.....:)

[moe]

Yes, it really did!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, at least you got a good long look at London for your money :)

[144man]

Moe should have sued for unlawful detention.

[westgrandboulevard]

It might have put some wheels into motion.

[moe]

No wheels moved, westgrand!!

[144man]

Would you go on the Eye again, moe?

[westgrandboulevard]

Do we hear an 'aye' for an 'Eye' - ?

[moe]

.............and a tooth for a tooth...........of course!

[144man]

..and a nose for the Noes.

[westgrandboulevard]

Working our way around the human body might perhaps not be such a good idea...

Let's assume moe would go on the Eye again, should the opportunity present itself - like someone paying her air fare across the Atlantic. That should do it....

[144man]

The silence is deafening:[[

[westgrandboulevard]

We may need to make ourselves comfortable, while we wait.....

[moe]

Hello, Hello????

[westgrandboulevard]

Ah, there you are, moe! How are you doing? :)

[144man]

If Moe can't come to the mountain, then the mountain will have to go to Moe. We shall have to build a new structure over there, and we will need an optician to help us with our Eye site.

[westgrandboulevard]

And a torch...as we may be working in the dark here.....

[moe]

You two sure it isn't an "eye sore?"

[westgrandboulevard]

By what I saw, no. Will we need planning permission?

[moe]

Too much red tape over here, westgrand!!:mad:

[westgrandboulevard]

Maybe we could open up a circus, and just keep moving the Eye around?

[moe]

Should we convince R&B to take his "magic elixir" on the road with us?

[144man]

"Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to join the circus..."

[westgrandboulevard]

Sadly, even if Eartha Kitt were still with us, we'd still have to leave her behind....

[moe]

Everbody Loves a Clown so why don't you?:rolleyes:

[westgrandboulevard]

It's that line "and away went my very last day as a child..." that gets me, every time....:[[

[144man]

I left my second childhood years ago...must be in double figures by now.

[westgrandboulevard]

Would it help if we offered you a seat, every time you sign in? :)

[moe]

Doesn't he know sign language?:confused:

[westgrandboulevard]

De-signed, for comfort, moe:)

[144man]

Co-sign for trigonometry, or am I just going off on a tangent?

[westgrandboulevard]

Well yes, there are a few angles to it.

And anyway, it's been so quiet, I assumed you'd nodded off in the corner LOL

[144man]

There's a degree of truth in that.

[westgrandboulevard]

...and six degrees of separation, between you and any of us....

[144man]

It's that separation that will save my Bacon.

[westgrandboulevard]

One wonders who the degrees of separation might be...

[moe]

You two are so obtuse!

[westgrandboulevard]

With you, moe, we three definitely make an obtuse triangle :)

[144man]

Moe's post is quite acute one.

[westgrandboulevard]

And so is her condition, from time to time...and self-induced every time, of course...LOL :D

[arrr&bee]

HEY WAIT A MINUTE THERE 144MAN...THIS IS MY TANGENT AND THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE...[pssss over here if there find out that i didnt pay there'll kick me off]!!!...p.s.-shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

If we draw a nice wide radius around you, arrr&bee, no-one is likely to notice, so you should be quite safe :)

[moe]

And no one will hear you scream!!!:D

[westgrandboulevard]

Eeeek! [[shhhhh....),eeeeek! [[shhhhh....) :rolleyes:

[moe]

Did you say something westgrand? I can't hear you!

[westgrandboulevard]

No, not me moe - it was arrr&bee, in the middle of the large radius. He likes his space....

[moe]

I still can't hear anything!

[westgrandboulevard]

Enjoy 'the nothing' moe, and consider yourself lucky.....LOL

[moe]

Nothing is everything westgrand!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Somebody's hit the mute button, moe!

[moe]

You sure it wasn't 144man or R&B? Either one of them were traveling so fast that they could've hit that button by mistake!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Very true, moe. Some people live their entire lives on 'fast forward'.

Me, I tend to spend most of my time on 'replay'.

[144man]

You sure it wasn't 144man or R&B? Either one of them were traveling so fast that they could've hit that button by mistake!!

It may have been me. I'd be grateful if someone could tell me where I've been and what I've been doing for the past few days. I have a terrible hangover, so it must have been worth it!

[westgrandboulevard]

If you want to know where you've been, you could always try YouTube.

Then, after a while, midnight johnny will give you an extended version of it all :)

[144man]

Do you think I might go viral?

[westgrandboulevard]

If you do, we'd best use facemasks at our keyboards :[[

[moe]

I'll take your temperature if you go viral!!

[westgrandboulevard]

You're his remedy, moe - you Marvelettish lady!

[144man]

The thought is making my blood pressure rise.

[moe]

Please................no strokes!!

[westgrandboulevard]

I expect a tickle would be OK.

[144man]

Don't make me laugh.

[westgrandboulevard]

144man's condition is getting serious, moe....

[moe]

Stability is not the theme here, fellas...........

[westgrandboulevard]

True. This may be a quiet backwater in the Kingdom of SDF, but there's always someone around, gently stirring those waters....

[144man]

Is this the bit where the creature from the Dark Lagoon appears and tries to eat us all? Have no fear. I have a fishing line with which I can catch it. If only I could remember which thread I left it in...

[westgrandboulevard]

I've just found where you left it, and you were right there with it.

[144man]

No. I have an alibi. I was on the Word Association thread at the time.

[westgrandboulevard]

Just another duplicated post, I would submit.....

[144man]

It takes two. The person who posted first is just as guilty, just like in double-parking.

[westgrandboulevard]

I've had to swiftly tow away quite a few of mine. Definitely a No Waiting zone.....

[moe]

Well then, put the medal to the pedal!

[westgrandboulevard]

Olympian status!

[moe]

Good as gold............

[westgrandboulevard]

And, if maybe not quite that good, silver has a certain value, too...

[144man]

Sterling work there.

[westgrandboulevard]

Your comment bears all the hallmarks of distinction.....

[144man]

I was on my mettle, steeling myself for your reply.

[westgrandboulevard]

Which brassed you off....

[144man]

I'm easily lead.

[westgrandboulevard]

And embossed....

[moe]

And waxed????

[westgrandboulevard]

'Waxed' as in applying polish, or as in removing hair, moe?

[moe]

Polish, westgrand.............just ask my relatives in Poland!!

[westgrandboulevard]

There are many Polish people working hard here in the UK, too - so some must surely be your relatives.

Was that where Pole-Dancing started?

[moe]

Exactly..........a one and a two and a .........

[westgrandboulevard]

Natural rhythm is always a great asset:)

[moe]

Ever attended a Polish wedding? PLENTY of rhythm!:p

[westgrandboulevard]

No, I haven't, moe. Details?!

[144man]

Danzig in the street?

[westgrandboulevard]

As long as it wasn't the German version.....:[[

[moe]

Not a chance........

[westgrandboulevard]

So, when Polish people want to eat in celebration, what would be cooking?

[144man]

Have some borscht and beetroot to yourself.

[westgrandboulevard]

I think I'll pass. It sounds horrible.....:[[

[144man]

It tastes wonderful. You can have it hot or chilled.

[moe]

It's not horrible, westgrand; my grandmother made it and it was delicious!

[144man]

wgb, some shops sell it, but homemade is better.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm probably biased. I have at least one near neighbour who is Polish. She's very sweet but her cooking smells are less than inviting.....

[144man]

Maybe she's trying to spice up your life.

[westgrandboulevard]

She's very impatient and loses her temper when things don't go right in the kitchen, which is often.

The smell is dreadful.

I hear her screaming. Then the food itself starts to come out though the xpelair.

The birds in her garden are an extremely well fed flock....

[moe]

Yep, that's the Polish; they try to feed you as you get anywhere near them, whether the kitchen or the garden [[oh....went to a garden party........):p

[westgrandboulevard]

People have been known to just stand in her garden, with their mouths open.

It's like feeding time at the Zoo.....

[144man]

You're making me feel hungry now.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'll ask if she has a bun she could throw.......

[moe]

I'll take her pierogis.........

[westgrandboulevard]

I had to Google that one, moe, as I've never heard of them.

I imagine they could be quite tasty...and, I suspect, also rather fattening...

[moe]

Tasty, oh yes..........come stuffed with a variety of things [[cheese, mashed potatoes, prune, sauerkraut) Fattening? Most definitely!

[144man]

I think I've had them stuffed with mined meat in chicken soup.

[moe]

Could be 144man.........some boil and heat / some boil and fry [[both with melted butter and onions..........YUM!

[arrr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa,this lady needs to work for me,i need a master cook for this wonderful elixur[it's good for america]smell???what smell[one whiff of this stuff will kill your sense of smell anyways]haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Moe, after I'm reading arrr&bee's newest post about 'elixur', your pierogis suddenly start to sound mighty attractive...:)

[moe]

I'll bet westgrand!!!! I'm not a "hoochie cooker" R&B.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm on your side, moe. That bit that reads "this lady needs to work for me" : now, that's very 1950s, isn't it?! The word 'needs' I would imagine is very much open to debate - and I'd also imagine the words ' work with'me' might have sounded a whole lot sweeter to a hard working lady of the 21st Century. LOL

I'm not stirring with a wooden spoon here, you understand - just saying....! :)

[moe]

I see why you're not..............because the pot is too hot:p

[westgrandboulevard]

On the subject of pots being hot, reminds me it's ages since I ate a good curry...!

[moe]

A good curry? I'm right with you westgrand!!!!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Indian food has an appeal that Chinese food simply doesn't, although I've never quite managed to identify the reasons. Perhaps it's simply the spices...

[144man]

You need good timin', tikka tikka tikka, good timin'...

[westgrandboulevard]

And some of Donna Summer's 'Hot Stuff'.....

[144man]

I might try Culture Club's "Korma Chameleon".

[moe]

Chameleon? Now that's a different color!

[144man]

What colour is a chameleon on a mirror?

[arrr&bee]

Hoochie cooker...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a...i'm on the floor over here...moe you got away with words[i don't know how you got away but you did]...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

[[I think a plane just flew overhead)

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to decide what colour a chameleon on a mirror would be....its default colour, maybe....

[moe]

I think our chameleon goes with whatever it feels like!! Purple today, blue tomorrow.........like that lizard/paint commercial. Have you seen this?

[westgrandboulevard]

No, not seen that one. I've seen lights in public places which steadily work their way through the colour spectrum, so guess that process works on the same principle.

I can understand that a chameleon may view and recognise colours, but I can't understand how it can then match itself to them.....

[arrr&bee]

Chameleons????color spectrums???!!hey what is this ...a science project???hey i'm getting sober somebody turn the record over...did somebody let science geeks in here while i was incapacitated,or maybe i'm not actually here but still confined to my cell[opps,err,hehe]my room yeah that's it my room...hey i see the colors too but who is that leprechun with the pills coming towards me...to be continued.........!

[144man]

Leprechauns make a welcome change from pink elephants.

[westgrandboulevard]

And the pink elephants disappear quickly, as they mistake the leprechauns for mice.

[moe]

Leprechauns bring gold!!!!!!
Or do they???

[westgrandboulevard]

It makes more sense to stick with the Lottery tickets, moe....

[144man]

I believe there's a crock of gold buried at the end of the M25.

[westgrandboulevard]

Not one but many crocks of gold are buried on the M25.

Each one is marked by the presence of a speed camera:rolleyes:

[144man]

Are you saying that speed cameras are there to raise revenue rather than to improve road safety? Who would ever believe that?

[westgrandboulevard]

All those drivers who receive a Fixed Penalty Notice....:mad:

[144man]

Of course, you can always get your husband or wife to take your points for you. No one ever gets caught doing that!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

My chauffeur is a gorilla, which takes care of all that for me.

Much simpler, and keeps me out of prison :)

[moe]

I remember Jeremy Clarkson talking about this, westgrand. It's the equivalent to our "Photo Radar." But yours is much worse.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm one of those who feels that the presence of speed limits and cameras [[working or not) does effectively regulate speed, and maintains an even flow of traffic. There are exceptions [[some people hit the brakes hard as soon as they reach a speed camera, then accelerate) but generally I think they do assist road safety.

But...we are a 'small' island for the density of population in at least some parts of it, so I guess the regulation needs to be tight.

And, in almost all cases, if someone is fined for speeding, it's only because they were indeed speeding - so it is fair.

But.... it's not always so easy to keep to those speed limits :[[

[moe]

No...........speed is better on the Autobahn!!!:D

[westgrandboulevard]

Oh yes moe, agreed - speed is fine, especially when there's plenty of space, and so a nice wide margin for error... :)

It's when our speed meets someone else's speed, or an immovable object, that it becomes, ahem, tricky... :[[

[moe]

Very.................but what a way to go!!:D

[westgrandboulevard]

My goodness, moe. I can tell you'd be a natural for stock car racing!

[144man]

"You can tell as sure as you live,
That something's gotta give, something's gotta give, something's gotta give."

[westgrandboulevard]

"...but she's got high hopes, she's got high hopes,
she's got high apple pie in the sky hopes...." :)

[moe]

She's real fine my 409..............

[westgrandboulevard]

Giddy Up, Giddy Up, 409...

[moe]

As it should be westgrand...........

[westgrandboulevard]

Fast car, fast lady. Beginning to get the picture...

[arrr&bee]

Little known fact,a rocket once went to the moon in 9 minutes..how is such a thing possible you ask???well i dropped just a drop of this wonderful elixur into the fuel tank and off it went...nasa will never admit to it though!!!

[moe]

NASA doesn't admit to much of anything, R&B..........

[westgrandboulevard]

Is there anyone in the position of actually asking NASA any difficult questions?

[144man]

Rocket from the Crypt ended up hanging on a rope.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, as an answer, I'd say that's in the 'difficult' category.....

[moe]

........but NASA will take credit for all the good stuff [[i.e. Mars landing, Hubble telescope, etc)

[westgrandboulevard]

That seems to be the way of this world and, probably, every other world too....

[moe]

I wonder if NASA ever had a credit check.........

[westgrandboulevard]

...or if the man in the moon has any financial status....

[144man]

What about his revenue from selling green cheese?

[westgrandboulevard]

Have you actually tasted any green cheese?

[moe]

I thought that was Wallace & Grommit in a "Good Day Out." [[or something like that)

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes moe , that was indeed Wallace & Gromit's 'A Grand Day Out' - they fly to the moon, as they have run out of their favourite cheese, Wensleydale...but,as I recall, they are disappointed. While the moon is made of cheese, it just doesn't taste the same...

Have you tried Wensleydale? It's not green, but tasty......

[moe]

No, but I will:D

[westgrandboulevard]

Wensleydale comes from Yorkshire but, down here in the south of England, we also have some excellent local cheeses, including authentic Cheddar. Many are stored in the caves along the coastline, to mature.

If you like hard cheese, look out for Blue Vinney, made here in Dorset, very close to where I live...

[moe]

There's a really good cheese shop about 20minutes north.. I must make a trip and look for it! I am a very good "friend" of Stilton...............Stilton soup, stilton eggs, the stuff is really good!!!!!!!:p

[westgrandboulevard]

Blue Vinney [[often spelled Vinny, but Vinney is authentic Dorset, I believe) is similar to Stilton, but milder. Made from skimmed milk, so less fat.

Go Girl! :)

[144man]

"Lancashire" is great for grilling.

[moe]

I will pay serious attention to both of your comments and buy if available!

[westgrandboulevard]

Report back on your findings, moe!

If not available, I'm already making enquiries to see if airmailing a supply of cheese to you is permissible, for your comments....:)

[moe]

It'll be a few weeks, westgrand, but I will let you know!:)

[westgrandboulevard]

You have been appointed the Cancel Thread's Cheese Detective.

Take a notebook - and ask for samples. Let them think you're a Mystery Shopper....

[arrr&bee]

Something cheesy going on here,hmmmmm!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

The Cancel Thread's Cheese Fondue is on its way......

[144man]

I asked the Swiss Embassy which was the best cheese, Emmental or Gruyere, but they wouldn't give me an answer on the grounds of their neutrality.

[westgrandboulevard]

That's really hard cheese.

[moe]

That's really tough to swallow!!

[westgrandboulevard]

And it's something which grates on me.....

[moe]

......it just sounds too cheesy!

[westgrandboulevard]

...but, anyway, look at the camera moe, and just say c-h-e-e-s-y.....

[144man]

I'm just going off to cut the cheese.

[westgrandboulevard]

Unusual to hear it announced....

[144man]

Seventy-seven years of waiting for a British Wimbledon champion have been cancelled. Congratulations, Andy Murray!

[westgrandboulevard]

New balls, please.

[arrr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaa,and then the rat says to the roach...oh we're back live again??

[moe]

Some things just don't change!:p

[westgrandboulevard]

They say, better the devil you know...!

[144man]

The devil is in the details.

[westgrandboulevard]

Which are getting smaller, and harder to read!

[144man]

See, it does make you go blind.

[westgrandboulevard]

My eyesight has been ruined by these new spectacles.

Now, whenever I take them off, everything goes blurry.

[moe]

There were movies back in the 70's: "If You Can't Stop It You'll Go Blind."
And......."Can I Do It 'til I Need Glasses?"

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, if we're talking about 70's movies, then I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Some of them needed to be watched really close-up....