Things Your Mom and Dad Said

[robb_k]

Robb, it sounds like you guys had our Mr. Coffin's brother! LOL! Those paddles would be totally banned or outlawed today. When Coffin hit you, all the blood in your body seemed to rush to your face and head! LOL!

I can't believe that when we had this discussion I didn't mention my sadistic old Electronics teacher, who, at the beginning of the semester, would line up all the boys [[back then, the shops weren't coed), and give them electric shocks. I can't remember the voltage, but it was enough to really sting for quite a while afterwards. He really enjoyed that. He had an evil looking snicker on his face when each kid jumped in pain. Nowadays, a teacher would go to prison, and lose everything he owned in lawsuits, for doing such things. I think he lived for the first week of each class. He claimed that he did that for "safety" reasons, to "make sure we would understand just how dangerous dealing with electric fixtures and facilities is, and to always have that in the back of our minds. But, seeing his glee while seeing our pain told me a different story.

[Jerry Oz]

I can't believe that when we had this discussion I didn't mention my sadistic old Electronics teacher, who, at the beginning of the semester, would line up all the boys [[back then, the shops weren't coed), and give them electric shocks. I can't remember the voltage, but it was enough to really sting for quite a while afterwards. He really enjoyed that. He had an evil looking snicker on his face when each kid jumped in pain. Nowadays, a teacher would go to prison, and lose everything he owned in lawsuits, for doing such things. I think he lived for the first week of each class.

Reminds me of my shop teacher, Mr. Tracy. He was a genuinely good guy, who went the extra mile to give us credit even when we didn't quite do things right. He used to walk with a limp because he had several muscles stripped out of his leg for some reason or another. We all respected Mr. Tracy because he was a good guy, but also because he {along with vice-principal Brown and Mr. Kelly, the gym teacher} was known as one of the Big Three Swatters in junior high school. Mr. Kelly drilled holes in his paddle so it went faster and there was an urban legend about it whistling when he swung it.

Anyway, one day Mr. Tracy tried several times to get the boys to settle down because we were all ramped up and talking loudly about something from over the weekend. Finally, when the din was so loud he had to shout to be heard, he placed a small metal trashcan on a work table and hit it so hard with his paddle that it flew about 25 feet across the room. "WHACK!!!!"

He had our attention after that.

[Jerry Oz]

One of my Mom's favorite stories of me was from when I was about four years old. I was at the bathroom door, jumping up and down and begging my Dad to let me in.

"Take it easy," Pops said, nonchalantly from behind the door. "You still have dry pockets, don't you?"

"Yes!" I replied. "But they have holes in them!"