A sight for sore eyes...
A sight for sore eyes...
He has a good optician but nobody realized it. Nelson once greeted him by referring to him as a 'sight for a sore eye'.
As opposed to where his optician built his practice, which was a site for sore eyes.
In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is king. In all other lands, he's "Ol' One Eye".
Who turned out the lights???
Welcome to the Land of the Blackout Blind.
I would light a match but that would be bad,very bad.
With your hooch-stained clothes, you would light up the whole world.
Think[permanent]daylight.
A flaming beacon......
The birth of a new star? Or the death of an old one?
JERRY,WHERE YA BEEN??I'M CASTING FOR THIS NEW MONSTER MOVIE AND I NEED A HERO[KNOW ANY?]..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..JUST KIDDING[I think]NOW I'M CASTING YOU AS THE ONE WHO TALKS THE MONSTER OFF OF THE TOWER OF LONDON[YES THAT TOWER]AFTER HE THROWS THE HERION[MOE]OFF OF THE TOP OF BIG BEN HE'S GONNA CATCH A CAB OVER TO THE TOWER AND SINCE IT'S CLOSED HE'S GONNA HAVE TO CLIMB AND SO WILL YOU,DON'T WORRY I GOT SOME STRING LEFT OVER FROM MY[KITE FLYING DAYS]TO PULL YOU UP[DONE ANY CLIMBING LATELY?]NOW I'M ON A TIGHT BUDGET AND[in the country illegally]SO WE GOTTA DO THIS IN ONE TAKE,OH AND WHEN YOU CATCH THE MONSTER HE'S GOTTA CARRY YOU DOWN THE TOWER SO DON'T BREAK THAT STRING,JERRY YOU'RE GONNA BE A STAR.
I wanted to, but I can't get the days off from work. I'll Send Skippy when he gets paroled in six years. He could use the break [[poor guy).
He'll get plenty of breaks all through the production of this life-threatening disaster!
Well, the best way to make it look real is to make it real. Wanna know how the screenwriter thought to make the actor pee his pants after surviving being pushed from a plane without a parachute? He didn't! That's the sort of realism you get when you push him out without telling him beforehand.
Last edited by Jerry Oz; 03-18-2015 at 06:36 PM.
You may go first.....
Maybe, if I can use the bathroom before the cameras start rolling...
By all means.....
...and take my heart medicine, check to make sure my life insurance has been paid up, and that the exit doors are unlocked...
Let's hope Arr&bee breaks your fall.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...sto p it,this is serious stuff,now i spoke with skippy and would you believe he turned me down[he'll never work in this town again]something about it's safer in jail[whatever that means]anyhow,jerry you're in.
Please tell me you didn't use the words 'work' or 'job' in your conversation with Skippy... He is allergic to manual labor until it's time to dig his way out of the joint with a toothbrush.
HECK I'M ALLERGIC TO THOSE WORDS MYSELF, I TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA MAKE HIM A STAR,OH AND I THEN LAID OUT THE SMALL RISK INVOLVED,I DON'T THINK THAT SKIPPY LIKED THAT PART,BESIDES JERRY YOU'RE MADE FOR THIS BREAKOUT ROLE...[of course you may break something else]BUT A SMALL PRICE TO PAY TO BE IN THIS MASTERPEICE,THINK OF IT JERRY YOUR NAME UP IN LIGHTS YOU ON THE TIN SCREEN...[have you seen the price of silver these days???]TIN IS THE NEW BIG THING...JERRY YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY.
That screen will have to be made of stainless steel, and nothing less.
West work on your[british accent]you'll need it for this role.
I can't wait. Knowing that the role is a demanding, physical challenge set me about exercising this morning. Elbow bends while eating all-you-can-eat pancakes at IHOP is a workout! I'm planning on doing more tomorrow.
Next week will do. I don't think this project will be going anywhere fast.
And my British accent is already impeccable.
Just make sure it's British enough for American audiences to enjoy without yelling for subtitles...
Yeah,i can't afford[subtitles]west is your english good enough for you to be in this classic?
Well, that depends on how you, as American citizens, would define an accent as being authentic British English.
Try me with some examples.
Meanwhile, if you think of the clipped tones of Rex Harrison, I can do that..but if you want comedy [[think Kenneth Williams in the 'Carry On' films), then I can do that, too...
My own spoken voice is light in tone. I may speak too rapidly at times, and think I should have more resonance in pitch, but the words are clear [[well, people with hearing difficulties tell me I sound clear to them LOL).
No subtitles should be necessary......
Last edited by westgrandboulevard; 03-20-2015 at 08:48 PM.
Have the gnomes carry cards with the dialog written on them near the bottom of the screen. I heard that is how Steven Spielberg does it.
Hey west,how's your[king henry]?
Hey arr&bee, which one?
??! Is that a skin condition or something? Well, hopefully it gets better now that Spring has returned.
Had Arr&bee enquired about my 'Prince Albert', I might have struggled a little with the response.....
Kids today have no idea of one of the classic pranks of all time. 'Do you have Prince Albert in a can?'
That one will never get old for those who remember it...
No, it won't...but the updated meaning of 'Prince Albert' [[if only here in the UK) has quite a different connotation to kids, and also to those who may wish to remain, shall we say, 'young at heart' with their body image.....
I'm talking accent west,accent.
I just Googled it and now I want to wash the memory off my brain...
It reminds me of the summer day about 10 years ago when the warehouse was sweltering and most wore shorts and tees to keep from burning up [[I always wore business casual, of course). A group of employees was lifting and moving boxes when a shiny metal hoop went rolling across the floor. One of our African nationals saw it and ran to pick it up for the gentleman who lost it.
'I caught your earring for you,' he said with an tone of pride. The owner of the jewelry looked at him with a somewhat pitiful look before announcing 'That didn't come out of my ear...'
By the accounts of those who witnessed it, the finder's jaw dropped and his face contorted in the most pitiful expression imaginable.
No good deed goes unpunished when Prince Albert is involved.
Haaaaaaaaaaaa,that albert is a hoot.
He keeps people amused in all the strangest places.
I imagine he can be a pain.
You'd need balls, even to contemplate it.
Last edited by westgrandboulevard; 03-21-2015 at 06:15 PM.
That was a piercing comment, to say the least...
Oh, just a small prick.....
...which gives a different spin to the phrase 'family jewels' when you have jewels in the family jewels.
Strange to have such a sign of ostentation, kept under wraps.
I'm starting to worry about you... It's nearly midnight here and time for me to go to bed and you're still typing tomorrow morning[[?).
LOL! It crossed my mind if anyone might notice.
I'm starting to find I have no problem sitting up writing - at times, right up until the will is overtaken by the total inability to keep my eyes open [[!)
Last night my partner was working in the town centre, helping anyone who had found themselves in trouble while 'out on the town' - and I just kept going until he returned. I signed off sometime after 3am, our time...which was just about when you posted above....and was up again about 8am....
I often find, when I sign in early in the morning, quite a few of you good people in the US are still up and signed in, and it's the middle of your own night......
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