TEST!! Had this been an actual post, you'd have been instructed to...

[westgrandboulevard]

I've seen owners at dog shows, and it looks totally exhausting.

They run around the place, shouting "Sit!", while the dog watches them....

[144man]

You're expecting me to tell the joke about the Sheepdog Trials, where the dogs all get found guilty, aren't you? Well, I'm not going to.

[westgrandboulevard]

You judged that right.

[144man]

This is the sentence.

[westgrandboulevard]

That's exactly what I think, whenever I see my neighbour 'Garrulous Ada' approaching.

"Just a quick word!" she cries but, every time, it soon becomes a Life Sentence....

[moe]

Life sentence? I thought a sentence was a sentence.........noun, verb, article, period.

[westgrandboulevard]

Have you noticed the tendency for people to compose sentences in emails, which go on and on and on...with no punctuation?

[144man]

People often do that on forum threads as well but I would never do that because I think it's a really stupid thing to do composing sentences that go on and on and on without any punctuation because people get really bored reading them with the result that they stop visiting the forums so often and start using twitter instead since it quite sensibly has a limit on the number of words that can be used in any tweet and that ensures the use of shorter sentences where probably not so much punctuation is needed anyway.

[westgrandboulevard]

Quite.

I've always understood that a comma, wherever inserted, permits someone reading the words aloud to draw breath.

Your composition is a prime example of where a life support machine would prove invaluable.

[arrr&bee]

Um excuse me but i'm totally confused here..oh never mind i'm in the right place!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Any and all misunderstandings here are well understood LOL

[moe]

So what's your point, 144man?

[westgrandboulevard]

LOL, moe. I got his point, but the experience was like being passed at very close quarters by an express train

[moe]

First or second class 144man?

[westgrandboulevard]

I think he jumped a few red lights, moe....

[moe]

He better watch he doesn't get a ticket!!

[westgrandboulevard]

That could be tricky, he's moving so fast....

[moe]

There he goes.............................................! !!!!!!!!!

[144man]

So what's your point, 144man?

I've often wondered. Why am I here? Where am I going? What does it all mean?

[144man]

Quite.

I've always understood that a comma, wherever inserted, permits someone reading the words aloud to draw breath.

Your composition is a prime example of where a life support machine would prove invaluable.

You won't want a life support machine. Reading too many sentences like that makes you lose the will to live.

[westgrandboulevard]

"Hhhhhhhhhh"... your post 858, if read aloud, would first need quite an intake of oxygen to complete it without drawing breath....

Of course, you were joking, but there are many who do communicate just like that. Just like machine gun fire.

Don't lose the will to live just yet! There's always chocolate...

[144man]

He better watch he doesn't get a ticket!!

I've got my ticket, but they still won't let me in. I've been banned from everywhere now.

[144man]

That could be tricky, he's moving so fast....

At my age, I don't do anything fast. In fact , at my age I don't do anything.

[westgrandboulevard]

Was being banned everywhere simply something that you orchestrated?

At my age, ageing is the fastest thing I ever do!

[moe]

I didn't know there was an orchestra here.........who's singing?

[westgrandboulevard]

I shall sing for you.

Now, I must say that I usually work with a backing track.

However, for my first rendition, I shall be performing 'Memories', and so I feel a tracking back is more appropriate for the occasion....

[144man]

No doubt we shall eventually come to an arrangement.

[westgrandboulevard]

If you want me to sing in A Flat, I'll need the address.

[144man]

If you're going to come over, B Sharp then.

[Nice spoonerism in #876.]

[westgrandboulevard]

OK. If you need a pizza delivered as well, I'll B Soon!

On the subject of spoonerisms, I [[and also you, it would seem) tend first to think of a conclusion or punchline, then work it back from there.

Mind you, being of the left-handed persuasion, I have to be extremely vigilant with the various circuitries in my brain when mixing my words, otherwise I quickly find myself in a right mucking fuddle!

[144man]

Pizza delivery can be a depressing job. Our last pizza delivery boy topped himself.

[westgrandboulevard]

Stone, ground and flowers all come to mind

[144man]

When we get the orchestra, are we going to have a choir as well? I believe you owe me a tenor.

[westgrandboulevard]

You can sing for that! And since you're voicing your preference, yes, we're having a choir, and the choirmaster is Barry Tone.....

[moe]

Did the pizza delivery boy top himself with pepperoni, mushrooms, or what??

[westgrandboulevard]

The mushrooms could have been toadstools but, whatever it was, it was fatal!

Not sure if the same expression is used in the US but, in the UK, to 'top' oneself means to end one's own life. 144man was making a clever little play on words there....

But then, Ms. Moe, maybe you knew that all along...?

[moe]

I am not admitting to anything, westgrand

[westgrandboulevard]

Say no more....

[144man]

Our local pizzeria does a special topped with chicken tikka, beef teriyaki and uranium. I think it's some sort of fusion cookery.

[westgrandboulevard]

They must need to deliver it in a sealed trailer, ring the doorbell, and run.....

[144man]

Perfect for the nuclear family.

[westgrandboulevard]

Everybody gathers in the power plant at parties....

[144man]

...glowing in the dark.

[westgrandboulevard]

.....and attracting thousands of moths....

[moe]

I'll fly away then..........

[westgrandboulevard]

A strolling Moe gathers no moth...

[moe]

Nor dirt, cobwebs, or dust bunnies............

[westgrandboulevard]

Sounds like you definitely abide by that traditional household cleaning tip, which is to pay particular attention to where the dust doesn't show...

[moe]

You mean "magic" dust [[a la Cheech and Chong)?

[westgrandboulevard]

No, I mean just 'good' old household dust, which flies when it's swept.

Magic dust makes people fly!