How Come .... [[?) SDF Members !!!!

[marv2]

@Marv, I have posted pictures of the Dells, Ojays, Confunkshun, Dazz Band, Barkays, Michael Henderson, Switch, Betty Lavette, Ledisi, Impressions, Russell & New Stylistics, Slave, Hugh Masekela, and many others at different concerts and gatherings ......some posts were received very well , others died but I did it because of my love of photography and the groups........and I find myself shaking my head at all of this personal BS and analysis by paralysis.... but thats a topic for another thread.......

Kdub, I remember your posts with the concert pictures. I use to really look forward to each batch. I love photography too and have done my share of concerts back in the day.

Regarding all the personal BS. I knew it was coming to this for about 2 and half, maybe three years. I know exactly where it is coming from, where it started and the parties that are perpetuating it. Because of that , I get jumped on. It's like cyber bullying by people that wouldn't dare look my way in the real World. They want attention mostly, but they do get way out of hand at times.

Anyway, is it possible, I mean when you get the time and you feel like it to do a "Best Of" type thread from all of your great pics?

[soulster]

Soulster, everyone has probably had similar unprovoked activities, what makes you so special ? I didn't see where you offered to do a dam thing to resolve some of these issues.......now you want to deter the Godfather from a timely resolution to this mess ? ......jeez.......seems to me you have a lot of pent up hostility over nothing.......since you commented on all the bitch slapping...then who pray tell, is zooming who ? The Godfather himself has said lets have some peace and understanding and you're still stuck on stupid ? This has gotten embarrassing........not for the forum, but for you.............please allow yourself to put me on ignore and I shall do likewise................

I never said I was special or better. I also do not have anything against this godfather. But, I just pointed out that he/she has made some nasty comments to me in the past with no reason. Like I said, I am a moderator on another forum, and I know that a mod can't be making personal digs at the membership and command respect. The head mod there does, and I don't approve of it. He gets away with it because he is perhaps the most knowledgeable guy there.

Now, I don't know why this godfather ever attacked me, but I would think that if he ever took action against me, it would always have that cloud of it being personal.

If I were mod, I would not allow people to call each other stupid.

[paladin]

@ Soulster : Ok..... last post from me on this subject direct from the Forrst Gump handbook :........Ralph is The Godfather.........get it ?

@ Marv, thats a good idea......I'm not Juice but I shall take your comments under advisement....lol.........its gonna take some digging......

[ralpht]

Soul,
When did I make nasty comments to you?

[soulster]

Soul,
When did I make nasty comments to you?

Not you...Destruction. I only wanted to point it out. I would just like an explanation from him of why. This goes back to the old forum.

[ralpht]

Soul,
Why are you digging so far back into the past? That was then, this is now. Leave things be.

[BobC]

I can't even remember what happened yesterday. The answer to all these problems is to become senile like me, or go to many, many Happy Hours.

[destruction]

Not you...Destruction. I only wanted to point it out. I would just like an explanation from him of why. This goes back to the old forum.

3 things.

1. Either post or PM whatever posts you'd like to discuss where you were ATTACKED.......and remember....unprovoked doesn't mean unwarranted. And I'll be more than willing to discuss...... and then maybe I'll point out a few things that you've posted in the past......in the words of Pauley....capice? Or let it go.

2. When exactly did you join SDF?

3. BOO!

Isn't that what ghosts do?

and Kdub,

Thanks for making my load lighter.....because you've posted at least half what I wanted to say....and done it more succinctly

[destruction]

Marv,

"Regarding all the personal BS. I knew it was coming to this for about 2 and half, maybe three years. I know exactly where it is coming from, where it started and the parties that are perpetuating it. Because of that , I get jumped on. It's like cyber bullying by people that wouldn't dare look my way in the real World. They want attention mostly, but they do get way out of hand at times. "


I'd love to hear your side of this. Can you either email or PM me with what's on your mind..... I'd even be willing to talk live....either on the phone or chat.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

[oldiesmusicfan]

If I may butt in -

Ralph, I believe Soulster is referring to this latest edition of the forum when we all had to re-register, not the "old" forum before the big blow-up.

Soulster, if I remember correctly Destruction came down hard on you because you were having a word battle with a friend of his. Right or wrong, and I'm not passing judgement on anyone here, we all need to cool it. You said above that you are the bigger person, then why keep questioning someone's motive for saying what they did? If you felt someone was being a fool on the forum, why would you then do the same thing back at them? I have no problem with you personally, so please don't take what I've said as a personal insult to you. I understand your frustration about no one posting on some of your threads because we have all had the same thing happen to us.

Everyone - MANNERS are not displayed on the forum now like they used to be, so hopefully this thread will highlight the need for everyone to behave on the forum as they would in public. I've answered questions for people, created trivia threads that were a lot of fun for the participants and have emailed a few songs and photos to some forum members. A few times I haven't even gotten a thank-you for these personal connections, and for sure those ungrateful ones won't receive more help from me in the future. But for the most part, people on this forum are great, on-line, in emails and in person.

A plea to Ralph about re-instating certain members who were banned in the past - Go back and read all those posts that caused the bannings in the first place, and see if that's what you want back on the forum. If you don't still have them saved somewhere, I know there are others who do have them and would share them with you. Have these former members actually asked to get back on the forum? Offered to apologize to those they verbally attacked? I know you're aware that there was another forum where the truth finally came out to those who so loyally followed. Not a lot of people on this current forum actually know what happened back then, either because they were not members at that time or because they didn't see the offending threads before they were removed.

For now I'm ending my comments because I don't want to lose another long post after spending so much time on the other one only to have it disappear into thin air. I should write it up in a word document and then cut and paste it I guess.

Oldies

[ralpht]

Oldies,
I understand your concern, but I'm still willing to give things a chance to turn around. I'm not asking anyone to accept this, when I feel I was treated about as badly as anyone can be at that time. Let me remind, that the worst hit the fan the weekend of my wedding to Jesse. and then I short time later I became quite ill and was made fun of by the other side. I'm willing to let all of this go and and asking long term members to do the same. Besides, how can we be sure that some of these people will want to rejoin SD?

[ms_m]

Yeah the sht really did hit the fan on your wedding day but Ralph there were a lot of mini feuds going on that all lead up to the big bang....ironically, I happen to run into one of the offending parties while visiting Detroit and the back peddling and finger pointing was a sight to behold....plus I didn't have to spend a dime on drinks that night....LOL... A similar situation happened to Juice and a few others.

People make mistakes but I don't think they need to be defined by those mistakes for life....and neither side was TOTALLY INNOCENT anyway...

...and like you said, some folks may not even want to come back...and there is always the zap button if it gets crazy again....LOL

[oldiesmusicfan]

Ralph, I sure do remember the way you were treated on your wedding day and before and after that. I have no problem with whatever you decide on this issue, just expressing my opinion.

When you ask above "how can we be sure that some of these people will want to rejoin SD", well, that's why I asked the question about whether any of them had requested to be allowed back on the forum because I thought I had seen you mention that you were toying with the idea. I also asked if anyone has ever received a personal apology from those that were banned.

Their behavior was never directed at me, but I and most other forumers who saw it were offended by the viciousness of it. I would hope that kind of thing never happens again because we did lose a lot of first-hand knowledge when those people left the forum.

Again - MANNERS, if the rules of the forum are followed, we won't have any of these problems. How about make a Rules thread that stays at the top of the heap like the Promotion thread, then newbies would be sure to see it and it would serve as a reminder to us all on a daily basis. I was thinking that if we would have had a Promotion thread back then, perhaps the big blow-up never would have happened.

Oldies

[ralpht]

Oldies,
As Ms.M wisely points out. if there are problems I have the ZAP button. Hopefully we are entering a new and more civilized version of the forum.

[arrr&bee]

Hey ralph,this is the best post i've seen in awhile why....because folks are talking this is like the old days when it seemed like we would talk more,it seems that lately two or three folks might make a comment and that's it but this post has got folks ears perked up yeah some may be pissed about this and that but families do that[and yes we are family]so let's keep the conversation going...and by the way where is stu???

[ms_m]

Oldies I can't speak for anyone but me but personally, I don't need or want an apology for anything that was directed at me....I was highly entertained by the stuff I was hit with, with the exception of a private email that went public and I did receive an apology for that so I'm cool

....the wedding day thing was beyond the pale and I think it speaks volumes about Ralph [[in a good way) that he would even entertain the idea.

I really like the suggestion about the rules being permanently posted though but I think people would also have to understand moderators get to have discretion on how they enforce rules....Ralph said something that was very true...this is a free site...although donations are very much appreciated [[plug for Lowell)

so we all have to understand, when you're on a free site, having your demands met may not be the order of the day.

As far as manners....Kdub mentioned there are less nuts on Facebook....I think that's because anonymity is not as high there as in places like SDF...

I'm all for manners but even manners are sometimes in the eye of the beholder...I can say one thing to you and or Des and neither one of you would think twice about it but I may say the exact same thing to someone else and lawd love a duck all hell breaks loose....then again Oldies...as you know and as I have often said...PC speak is not at the top of my list of priorities....I guess judging manners on an Internet forum will always be done on a case by case basis...shrugs

[ralpht]

Arr&Bee,
I agree. It is nice to see folks talking things out. Have you been lacing them with your finest?

[arrr&bee]

jai, we all know why you're happy........

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...paladin forever..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! !!

[Roberta75]

That's long been a complaint of mine, that these Supremes/Ross/Wilson-whatever threads have nothing to do with the music itself, but the gossip. I will participate in one of those threads if it's about music. But, when certain members start the bitch-slapping, I'm outta there!

No offense but that's a bit of a stretch soulster. There are many times you are right in the thick of the Supremes/Ross/Wilson threads. For instance you posted about a dozen times in the silly thread about whether DR bleaches her skin.

[paladin]

Soulster, if I remember correctly Destruction came down hard on you because you were having a word battle with a friend of his. Right or wrong, and I'm not passing judgment on anyone here, we all need to cool it. You said above that you are the bigger person, then why keep questioning someone's motive for saying what they did? If you felt someone was being a fool on the forum, why would you then do the same thing back at them? I have no problem with you

Exactly........

directed at Soulster ...........2. When exactly did you join SDF?

Whoa, I thought the same thing............


We appear to be getting somewhere...finally..........

@ Jai......I'd join you anytime my friend thanks...........

Lastly, I was here for the big blow up and it was ugly. The rationale was certainly flawed but the truth was worse. We don't ever need another. Ralph was definitely a better moderator than I would have been and he was certainly a better man throughout all the helter skelter. Not only would I have zapped the participants but quit the job outright ......maybe I would have just blew up the forum and started over. This thread is really an extension of that time and that happening. Those of us who were here never want to see it happen again. It won't.....but we have to start somewhere.....

[ralpht]

Well said, Kdub.

[blueskies]

Didn't Bob Babbit used to be on this board? I thought I remember reading some of his guitar stories from the old board days.
Also, some guy from the Netherlands used to post stuff on the Three Degree's a lot. Haven't seen him around for ages? There's so many that come to mind....I miss their posts.

[moe]

R&B, I said the same thing: exactly where is Stu? See my old post.........
Blueskies: I do believe Bob Babbitt comes in from time to time, right Ralph? When he does post it's usually late.
KDub; good post.

[juicefree20]

I guess that there's a negative to writing long posts. I just wrote a pretty well thought-out post [[if I do say so myself) explaining my absence & when i pushed "send', I discovered that I had been logged-off.

That's no way to treat a guy.

Seriously, I've been gone awhile & it seems as though I haven't missed a thing, as there was a bit of dissension during my last visit. I need to read through this thread & try to offer a halfway reasonable assessment. But thus far, I do agree with GeeTee.

I stopped posting reviews & pictures when it became apparent that folks preferred arguing over who did what to who in 1966, whose career was destroyed by whom 45 years ago [[for the 300,679,256th time), than were interested in nothing more than their favorite 2 artists, as though life ceased to move forward since 1969 & there are no other artists worth discussing.

When there are 10 times more views for threads filled with arguing than there are for the death of Al Goodman or artists whom are performing & trying to survive today, then there's simply something wrong. ESPECIALLY when these artists are still kicking butt today.

As for any former forum members, I've run into quite a few just as I knew that I would. I've gotten Facebook friend requests, gotten a lot of smiles in person & things played out as I always knew that they would. While I have no real animosity toward any of them as that would be a tremendous waste of energy over a 5 or 6 year span, Im not accepting any friend requests, nor do I want to be that closely linked to most of them. Some I blame more than others because some simply got caught up in the madness because of what they felt that they had to gain.

But leopards don't usually change their spots. Some of the same folks whom were egomaniacal here 5 & 6 years ago, are just as egomaniacal today. All that you have to do is read Facebook to understand this. somewhere along the way, if we're truly sorry about a certain mode of behavior, we learn from our mistakes & moved away from them. But when you see someone who has no restraints still carrying on then one must realize that what you see is what you get. As they say, "fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me".

That truth is what we're really dealing with & unhappy people will always say & do unhappy things.

The stroy of the scorpion & the frog seems most appropos!

[juicefree20]

By the way, it's good to know that you're all here & seemingly no worse for the wear

[juicefree20]

Now let me go back & read what I missed!

[Doug-Morgan]

Hey Juice, how's it going?

I have a simple solution concerning posts and topics made up of people who only want to argue. I don't read them. The Supremes arguments have been going on for years, and in a way I feel insulated from them because they're hiding in the Motown forum. I'll look at them on occasion, but the petty arguments just aren't worth my wasting time to follow.

As to folks who aren't here much anymore, it happens. People come and go. Sure I miss the folks who were here when I came on board [[as douglasm), but as old folks drop off, new ones come on. I've got no problem with that. I'm on a couple other boards, and the same thing's happened there. Detroit Yes is a good example.

I do think a healthy discussion like this is valuable though, and it appears that this one hasn't gotten too far out of hand, otherwise I wouldn't be posting on it. A little venting is good once in a while, and this one has been reletively tastefull. I appreciate that.

[juicefree20]

Rather than to recreate my entire post that was lost, I'll try the "Cliff's Notes" version. Events at home require more attention than they once did. As things have evolved, I've had to pay closer attention & have to be even more hands-on than in previous times.

Due to this, I've had to scale back my activities...A LOT! These days, I have to pick & choose my spots & have had to put myself on hold for awhile, which is not necessarily the worst that could happen. Because of this, I have distractions, both good & bad. On the bad side, is monitoring my mother's health & the effect that it's having on her. Its hard to know whether it's due to medicine, the ravages of diabetes, or simply an inevitability due to being elderly. She just turned 79, so it's likely a combination of all 3. Unfortunately, this leads to the overall dynamics of our relationship to change & that tends to bring about tension. I imagine that it's annoying for someone to tell you that some of what you believe has happened is either a dream or your imagination or medicine playing tricks on you. I imagine that when you really believe that it's real, it makes you pretty angry & suspicious of the person who has to tell you that it simply in't so.

Unfortunately, I'm that person who has to say it which doesn't exactly win me any prizes, I'll tell you that

As most of you know, I also have a handicapped sister, so I can't leave my mother at home with just my sister. If ever there were an emergency, my sister could never explain to anyone what was going on. Due to everyone having off-hours, I don't go anywhere until someone gets home Either way, my focus has been more on dealing with her & less on dealing with me. Right now I just don't have the focus to edit then post a bunch of picture because my mind's just not into it.

On a brighter note, I'm also enjoying my grandson & he's here from Thursday to Sunday, then Saturday on alternating weeks. So when he's here, I don't usually schedule anything. He's at that age where he's always doing something new & he's a ball of energy & I don't want to miss a thing.

So, that's pretty much what's been going on & I had no idea that this was going on. My plan was never to be gone this long, but somewhere along the way, real life got in the way & frankly, I haven't felt too much like getting too deep, much less reading a bunch of adults declaring "war" on one another over nonsense. I'm not feeling that at all & haven't so much as lurked to read it.

[ralpht]

Juice,
It is so good to see you back. You have been missed. Sorry to hear about your mother and sister. I have a slight idea what you are going through, dealing with a 92 year old mother. Anyway, I hope things are smooth enough around here for you to linger once again. Your contributions to this forum are legendary.

[juicefree20]

Hey Doug,

How the heck are you?

I have to agree with you & all whom are against the censoring of threads like The Supremes threads. It's a matter of knowing what you're getting into & many times, that's the best that you can hope for. It's like walking into a brothel, then being surprised should you see a naked woman stroll by. When you know what to expect, then you should know what to expect.

Now with that being said, I do believe that the line needs to be drawn at vicious attacks which actually have little to do with artists, but rather more to do with the protagonists involved. That's simply some personal nonsense which will only fester if not addressed.

I see that even with the passing of months that only one person, Marv is being held responsible for behavior which has been practiced by others. And I notice that this sentiment is expressed via one who called me a racist for defending Marv when he was villified for calling out folks who couldn't contain themselves from disrespecting a memorial thread for Michael Jackson.

It's things like that that perfectly illustrate why peace can be so hard to find. Sometimes you have to give the devil their due & in that instance, some of the people whom left the building were guilty of wrongdoing. Yet, none of that is even acknowledged & as proven above, this is yet another opportunity to lay blame for all ills at the feet of ONE individual, when it's perfectly that there were people on both sides whom were perfectly willing to engage one another.

We all make mistakes & most of us have had our moments which we'd like to have back. But it's that very unwillingness of some to so much as acknowledge that they or their buddies are not beyond reproach which tends to keep the back & forth alive & well. It's as though they're unwilling to acknowledge their own faults or simply believe that trying to justify actions that a whole forum saw is going to make said behavior acceptable.

Kinda like The Jedi-Mind Trick. But everyone's not fooled by that & blaming just ONE guy for the assorted nonsense that we've witnessed coming from BOTH sides simply doesn't pass the sniff test.

And so...the beat goes on....

[ralpht]

Moe,
Yes, Babbitt posts from time to time. I haven't spoke with him in quite a while and have been meaning to call. Maybe this week I'll give it a shot.

[juicefree20]

Hey Ralph!!

How have you & Jessie been?

I'd be lying if I said that it hasn't been a bit challenging & fortunately since I don't have too much hair left up top, I haven't been pulling any out. But yeah...its been a bit exasperating at times. But my mother's still hanging in there & though there are a few hiccups along the way, the ends justify the means. And despite the mood swings & all that comes with it, all that I can do is to pray for more wisdom, more understanding, more patience & to try to understand what's really behind some of what's going on with her.

We're talking about a woman who's always been fiercely independent, more than a firebrand & a very strong-willed woman. It has to be hard to give up that independence & have her child taking on more of a parent role. with the roles somewhat reversed. That knowledge doesn't make it any easier but I'm trying to remind myself that there's a reason. It's kinda hard trying to make someone believe that something that they truly believe has happened really hasn't. And that only leads to a level of distrust & for as much as I read, no book nor article has adequately explained to me how to swim through these unchartered waters.

Maybe it's denial because even though I should've considered the possibility, somehow, I never considered this as a possibility. These are new waters but I imagine that I'll figure it out somewhere along the way. There are a whole lot of people whom have it far worse so, I'm not complaining at all.

Though I have considered taking a college course on primal screaming. Kinda like Tarzan, but without Jane grabbing vine!

I'll leave it at that

Ralph, rest assured, there's nothing that went on here that led to my not being here. I was trying to contact you on your birthday & left you a message on Facebook but couldn't find your number. Hell, we've been through "The Streets", "Malletcatraz" & after all of that, everything else is like wading through a inflatable backyard pool wearing scuba gear. In other words...

IT AIN'T THAT DEEP!

It's good to be home & good to see you as always.

[ralpht]

Juice,
I understand the loss of independence. That is my mother's biggest beef about aging. She hates relying on me and Russ, but that is the way it goes. I'll join that primal scream class with you, though.

Yeah, dude. We have been through a lot. It's comforting to have you around.

[juicefree20]

Ralph,

Thanks a lot. I tend to kinda keep to myself in situations like that. No sense in bringing a wet blanket to a party

Yeah buddy, I know how you feel. I think that there are a few other avenues that I need to explore here. Hanging around a house much of the time is no good for her. It may be time to try to persuade her to get involved in some kind of program where she can do something, anything because the bed & the tv can be too enticing.

Yeah,it's good to be around friends & that's one thing that you've always been & its good to be able to say that!

[juicefree20]

Ms M made a very good point & its something that more should consider.

Indeed she & I have had a few dust-ups & disagreement & at some point in life, we'll have disagreements with family & the best of friends. What I don't understand is why some have the need to make what could & should be simple disagreements into the Battle Of the Bulge, along with the associated venom. I've had disagreements with "friends" & because I didn't think as they wanted or believed that I should & you'd have thought that someone raped the family dog.

It seems to come down to an all or nothing kind of attitude. Either you agree with me totally or you're an "enemy" & I don't understand that kind of thinking. So it would seem as though it's a matter of control & a true friendship & if you're really lucky, you discover that sooner than later.

But honestly, when you consider some of our biggest blow-outs here, most of them were over some truly ridiculous nonsense, as best evidenced via the Malletcatraz affair. It seems as though we adults seem to expect more from the kids than we're willing to practice ourselves.

I think that some of us adults need to progress past the elementary school stage because from the board room, to Congress to yahoo forums, it appears as though many are firmly locked in that zone.

[oldiesmusicfan]

I'll be your professor in the Primal Scream class. May as well put my experience to good use! My mother is 96 now and is living in a hospice situation in a group home with 5 other ladies with dementia. I went through a lot with her in those 8 1/2 years when I was her only caregiver. The stress took it's toll big time but all is well now.

So it's good to have you back Juice! I'm wondering if there is some time limit on how long we can take to put together a post. I also lost a really long post I had written for this thread. From now on if I have more than a few lines, I will be writing it in Word and then pasting it here.

Oldies

[jillfoster]

When Jill Foster first came here she/he drove me crazy but then I stopped letting my emotions get in the way and started listening to what she was saying....to this day I think she could probably say things differently... so can I... but I don't let that get in the way of what she has to say and although I don't always agree I respect her offerings to a conversation. When I think she's over my personal line of what I accept, I say something to her about it, she listens, agrees or disagree and we move on.

Thanks for understanding, Ms. M... we did butt heads on a few occasions, but I always love debate, as blunt as I may be. And we DO agree on about 90% of political stuff, so it was mostly other stuff that we disagreed on. I'll tell you this, in real life.... I'm a male Mary Richards, too timid to make a scene, so on the internet, I let my hair down and say things how I really feel without compunction, it's kind of like a catharsis for me, but all my feelings that I express are my true feelings.... just ones I don't feel brave enough to express in everyday life, and wish I could. I'll be the first to admit, i'm one of the most judgemental people you will ever meet, but I'm also nice and real easy to get along with. Maybe my true personality doesn't come across on message forums, but I always figured everyone might be different, or not what we expect in real life. I always felt that it's just words on a screen, so we shouldn't give them as much weight as actions, but others might disagree.

[ms_m]

I'm in...been there doing that....hate to tell you Juice, it doesn't get better but you do tend to adjust...I tell myself...dayum, is this what my mom went through with ME when the situation was reversed? That sort of puts things in perspective.....at least for me...everyones situation can be different though...and YEAH Juice is back

[ms_m]

Jillfoster I like a good debate as well and you are good at it without being defensive....that won me over....LOL

With me, what you see is what you get.....sort of.....I think we all have different sides and some are more dominate than others...shrugs...such is life.

[juicefree20]

Hi Oldies,

It's great to see you as always. The same thing happened to me, I must've timed-out too because I lost a post. Granted, perhaps if y posts didn't take on the girth of War & Peace, that might not have happened, but I digress. The funny thing is that before I pressed "send', I thought about highlighting everything, then saving it to paste. genius that I am, I didn't.

As far as the primal screaming, I'll definitely accept you as a coach. I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Fortunately mine isn't at that point. But between diabetes & high blood pressure & a couple of hospital visits over the past 4 years, I'll admit that the future does worry me a bit.

If I had to guess what's happening, it could be the beginning of dementia. There have been a couple of incidents, dating as far back as exactly 10 years ago this month, where it of the blue she ended up somewhat zoned out. We never found out exactly what happened & attributed it to the heart problem that was discovered shortly thereafter. We go through long stretches where everything is alright, then out-of-the-blue...WHAM! A trace shows up for a day or so, then it's back to normal.

These days, it seems to revolve around my grandson & most of it involves her subconscious at work. I know her feelings about a certain relative of his & every now & then she'll say something about this person doing something to my grandson & swear that it happened. I'll explain to her that it never happened & so will my son but she's convinced that we weren't there. Now I know that it had to have been a dream that she had & tell her that, but she's not trying to accept that at all & thinks that I'm defending someone who's done absolutely nothing wrong. Then at other times she seems more accepting but I suspect that she doesn't truly believe but is just letting it go & keeping it on her scorecard until she gets mad.

As far as the stress goes, I try to let her go & if she goes too far then I have to say something to her. The only line that I draw is that I let her know that i'm sorry for what she's gone through but that I'm here to help & have no intentions of being a whipping boy. Sometimes I have to let it out because I saw her go through this with her husband & it was after her became sick that he really became very difficult & that was when her diabetes kicked in. And there's nothing quite like dealing with someone who's angry, frustrated & more vulnerable than they've ever been to bring about a total 180 in their demeanor & attitude.

And when they need to lash out, 9 times out of 10, it's the person who's caring for them that catches the brunt of it. I've seen that happen far too many times not to understand the nature of that illness beast. I believe that there's a certain resentment involved because they're more dependent on you & that lack of control seems to alter the whole relationship.

But you don't get to choose some things & there are just some things that have to be accepted & this change is one of those things. So, I'll keep investigating ways to make the best of things & to find something that will make things a bit easier for her & perhaps actually find something that might actually be more productive for her. making things a bit more difficult is the fact that she can only walk short distances before tiring & arthritis certainly doesn't aid a thing here.

The thing is to keep trying to find a combination that works because I believe that there is one which will. I'm not naive enough to expect a "magic bullet", but merely something which will break up the monotony of her day & help alleviate the effects of cabin fever, so to speak.

I remember being a kid & dreaming about getting my mother a house or something of a material nature. While all of that would've been great, I never dreamed that fate would have it so that the most important thing that she would end up needing from me wouldn't cost a dime, because as it turned out, it proved to be that what she needed from me most of all was my time. Considering all that she's done for all of us kids, that's a rather small price to pay. She sacrificed a lot of her life for her children. I see no reason why I can't sacrifice a little of mine now that the need is here.

I wish the best for you & your mom & it's nice to see you here again. I'll try not to be a stranger if you won't

God bless you & your mom.

[juicefree20]

Hey Ms M

How the heck are you? Good to see you here.

Yeah, I kind of know what to expect & honestly, I should've made room for that possibility in my little brain, but simply didn't. I guess that when you've known your mother to have been one way for damn near your whole life, you just expect that it will be that way always. Or I guess that I did.

Nevertheless, it's worth it because my mother has been one hell of a mother, not to mention a champion for people whose causes really had no effect on her one way or the other. We're talking about someone who did battle with Ed Koch, Guiliani, banks, housing & fought for the working class & the poor. If she wasn't the kind of battler & survivor that raised 4 kids, well, some people have crumpled under much less weight than she had to shoulder. With that as fact, I cant really expect her to smile & accept this without getting just a little pissed about it. I just happen to be in the way of the frustration, that's about the most sensible way to look at it.

But truthfully, under the circumstances I know that my tolerance isn't exactly what it might normally be. Adding to that the sorry state of things these days, as well as what I believe to be an unfair & totally irrational response to our President & that all adds up to a person, namely me, not engaging myself with hot button topics in order to protect me from me.

As they say, some times you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em & I felt it best to focus on thing which needed to be dealt with, as opposed to flapping my mouth over the internet to an audience whom either willingly chooses not to get it, or worse.

But you know me, the silence never lasts for too long

God to see you Ms M. Take care & God bless!

[marv2]

Marv,

"Regarding all the personal BS. I knew it was coming to this for about 2 and half, maybe three years. I know exactly where it is coming from, where it started and the parties that are perpetuating it. Because of that , I get jumped on. It's like cyber bullying by people that wouldn't dare look my way in the real World. They want attention mostly, but they do get way out of hand at times. "


I'd love to hear your side of this. Can you either email or PM me with what's on your mind..... I'd even be willing to talk live....either on the phone or chat.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sure, that would be fine. Do you have a strong heart? Just kidding. I will send you a private message you later in the week.

[GeeTee(HPK)]

Well now, it's been a minute since my last posting on this thread, because I thought it would go nowhere and get lost in the shuffle. Little did I know how many people would respond back,and how this thread would grow!

I was venting,and I meant every word that I said,but I'm glad a few of you see where I'm coming from.

Let me say this, I fully understand that certain things may not go back to the way things were, BUT if someone takes the time to post something of interest, it really doesn't hurt to say something,than to not say anything at all. That was the bottom line of where I was coming from. [[common courtesy)

I pick and choose what I'll respond to,and certain threads I just totally stay away from. I won't lurk, I just don't bother going there.

I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers, I just wanted to see the forum go back to some interesting discussions like we had in the past. Granted, we may agree to disagree,and I'm cool with that. Again, I try to stay away from the nonsense. I am so quickly to just let things be, rather than to go toe to toe with someone that don't me from Adam. [[really,it's not worth it !)

Thanks to those that decided to chime in, and even those that may have come out,just to add a their 2 cents.

Ralph, you're alright with me. If I decide to post anything in the future, hopefully it will be something of interest that people can and a nice friendly discussion.

That's where my head is at,from day one. Thanks

[ralpht]

You're cool with me also, GeeTee and your posts are always interesting.

[marv2]

Didn't Bob Babbit used to be on this board? I thought I remember reading some of his guitar stories from the old board days.
Also, some guy from the Netherlands used to post stuff on the Three Degree's a lot. Haven't seen him around for ages? There's so many that come to mind....I miss their posts.

Yeah you mean Gino from Belgium, the Three Degree's guy.

[ms_m]

Juice your tolerance and patience will get there with time, trust me.

I don't think you can really prepare for it Juice and the only people I can truly talk to about it are ones that are either going through it or have been there. It's IMPORTANT you find your own little personal support group...you'll be surprise how much it will help you.

Hang in there...and chk your email.

[destruction]

Juicy Juice,

Is this really you......cause I'm used to you being on your game.....

"1966, whose career was destroyed by whom 45 years ago [[for the 300,679,256th time)"

It was 65 and a half and it was the 300,679,253rd time)...... 3 of them posts were 'me too'.....

Welcome Back.

[destruction]

Sure, that would be fine. Do you have a strong heart? Just kidding. I will send you a private message you later in the week.

I've got grand children......strength is not an option..... Looking forward to it.

Thx, i've received a few already.....and am looking for more.

[marv2]

@ Soulster : Ok..... last post from me on this subject direct from the Forrst Gump handbook :........Ralph is The Godfather.........get it ?

@ Marv, thats a good idea......I'm not Juice but I shall take your comments under advisement....lol.........its gonna take some digging......

Paladin, if you do it [[put up a "Best of " thread), I will buy you your favorite beverage whenever you come to New York! Deal? It is good to have Juice back huh?

Marv

[paladin]

Whoa...!!!! bro'me we can talk Fed Ex for motivation by libation purposes.......I think once everything settles I'll get right to it, right now I'm having a Temptation discussion on another thread with myself.......oh my stars & garters...... how the stars have aligned themselves in our humble abode........