Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

[Jerry Oz]

I'm the last holdout from the 20th century to possess a cell, so I don't have the opportunity [[yet) to text. I find spelling to be somehow sad because it is lazy and encourages people to take shortcuts when there's nothing wrong with spelling the whole word. It also permits horrible grammatical breaches that can be excused because the entire phrase is a bastardized form of English.

Wow. I'm surprised I'm not doing any of those facial tics that you described in the posts above. I feel like I'm a relic from - wait for it - back in the day. "Why, when I was young, we had to actually open a book to study history and use a pen and paper to take notes. We didn't have these new-fangled tablets and laptops like you soft kids use today!" LOL.

[westgrandboulevard]

Your first para reminds me of when I was very young, a toddler, looking at farm animals. My Mum would say : "don't call them baa-lambs or moo-cows, you'll only have to change it later. Best to use their proper names from the start, like ram, ewe, lamb - or bull, steer, heifer, cow, calf...."

Your second para is a graphic illustration of how quickly we all become obsolete. Try speaking with a much younger person, without saying "When I was your age..."

[Jerry Oz]

I'm a relic. I'm still off the grid for the most part, electing to avoid using cell phones, debit cards, and establishing a social media presence. Most of my mail is delivered to a P.O. box at the post office, not to my home. A lot of people do everything they can to be "current", but I do everything that I can to remain anonymous. I just choose to run silent and deep. If I'm to go into business for myself [[as I hope to do soon), that will be a thing of the past, so I'll have to prepare myself for that.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, that's true, I believe you may need to do that, and you're being realistic about it.

To run a business successfully, one needs to be known, have a profile, be approachable and easily contacted - all at least to a certain degree.

You'll probably simply adapt your personality to fit your new circumstances..and , despite very good reasons, wonder why you didn't do it before!

[Jerry Oz]

Oh, I know why I didn't do it before... Somebody who is near to me [[who will remain nameless) is afraid of change. Whereas I am increasingly afraid of stasis.

[westgrandboulevard]

Life does play tricks. When we meet a special someone, we find ourselves hoping that the certain someone will hold us very tightly.

Then, later in life, we sometimes find ourselves also wishing that they could let us go, just a little......

[Jerry Oz]

It's all very complicated. A heard an interesting quotation that doesn't apply to our conversation, but to relationships in general: Womem get married believing that their husband will eventually change, but men get married believing that their wives never will.

I guess life on Venus is that different from life on Mars...

[westgrandboulevard]

I think many of the old gender stereotypes [[e.g. the battle of the sexes) are being dissolved...but I also think that human nature, irrespective of one's sex, doesn't change that much. Whether that's good or bad, is open to conjecture!

[Jerry Oz]

I'm sure there's a fundamental reason for why we choose who we partner up with. I'm still trying to understand why some couples are similar when others could not be more different. And we won't get into why some people gravitate toward abusers...

[westgrandboulevard]

No, I can't understand that. Maybe they just have nowhere else to go?

[Jerry Oz]

I think it runs deeper than that. I've seen intelligent, well-educated, affluent people [[usually women) get into relationships with men that will do anything to convince them that are worthless without the man. They lay hands on them and somehow make them believe it is the fault of the victim. There's something sad that happens that robs the world of something special and the pattern repeats itself often enough that it troubles me.

To be honest, I'm not sure which is more disturbing - why someone would treat a mate that way or why the mate grows more attached each time it happens. My brother was a military cop years ago and he told me that domestic disturbances were the worst calls to receive. Almost as if by script, the cop shows up to take the man away and the bloody or bruised woman winds up getting arrested when she fights the cops while trying to defend him.

[westgrandboulevard]

Mistaken loyalties, based on low self-esteem and insecurities.

She loves him always, because he loves her...just, sometimes....

[Jerry Oz]

I guess there's a reason that self-esteem is at the top of the heirarchy of needs. I mean, he can't beat her and love her unless there's a reason, right? So if he beats her it must be her fault because she knows that he loves her. He told her so, and why would he lie about that?

[westgrandboulevard]

The problem is she feels he loves her always - and because of that, she feels that to be the reality.

The real truth might be that he in turn was beaten at an early age. That is all he knows and also, he may love her, but not always. Only sometimes. And only when he needs to, and even then, only when he can.

And that's never enough for someone of her needs. So she becomes too needy, and he needs some space from her. And to get that, he beats her....

[Jerry Oz]

I'll disagree by saying that he does not love her. He is screwed up because he loves himself, yet has no self respect. He is selfish enough to believe that since he doesn't deserve her, so he beats her to make sure she never leaves him.

[westgrandboulevard]

While it is always possible that he feels he does love her in his way, it is often more likely he does not, so I'll agree to that.

Deep down, he just wants her to feel as bad about herself, as he does about himself. He would see that as being united - but it's negative, and bogus.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm sure it's been psychoanalyzed ad nauseum by people who know more about it than you or I. I'm just glad to have avoided an abusive relationship, just as I'm hopeful [[optimistic?) that you have been able to as well.

[westgrandboulevard]

If you mean physical abuse, yes, it is an experience I am glad not to have experienced.

If you mean mental abuse, there may have been some harrassment at some stages in my life [[when very much younger) but that was probaby due to defensiveness and insecurity from the other parties.

I survived....

[Jerry Oz]

And that's what matters. So many of yesterday's problems are forgotten. Mountains tend to be much more imposing when you approach them than they do in the rear view mirror.

[westgrandboulevard]

As do ideas and expectations.

So exciting to envisage...but when viewed in retrospect, often it's a case of "just what was I thinking about...?!"

[Jerry Oz]

A lesson that is learned constantly by many...

[westgrandboulevard]

All of us, at some stage, I'd say!

Still...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[Jerry Oz]

They say that fortune favors the bold. Cute cliche, but it's more than likely untrue.

[westgrandboulevard]

If you can wait long enough, fortune may favour the bald.

It's early Saturday morning here, so g'night!

[Jerry Oz]

Night.

Good afternoon. I might point out that baldness is a trait of many who diligently seek their fortune. Too much stress. Too much low-T. Too little hairline...

[westgrandboulevard]

....and, generally, too many years on the clock!

if 'low-T' means low testosterone, isn't baldness supposed to be related to higher levels of testosterone?

[Jerry Oz]

There are a ton of radio ads these days that describe a condition as "low-T" that results in hair loss. To be honest, I never cared enough to look it up. My thin spot is apparently becoming more obvious [[my dad is fond of telling me that I'm "growing through my hair"...). At the point that I look in the mirror and don't like what sits there, I'm going to shave it all off. Mrs. Oz gives a frightened look when I suggest that it's time, even though I typically trim it about as low as it can get to still say that I have hair.

[westgrandboulevard]

Me too. I have it cut short, but not clippered. Yet.

It's now very thin on top, and fine, and has to be anchored with a dry condtioning cream [[in extreme weather, plus a little spray), which seems to suit it better than a gel.

Each Spring, there's less of it. And what there is, is pepper and salt on the top, and silver on the sides - but that's because it's cut so short, it's the 'under hair'.

[Jerry Oz]

Mine is never more than a quarter inch long. I wore a goatee until three years ago when - ahem - "somebody" was in the habit of cutting the gray ones from it. I'm quite proud of my gray hairs, to be honest with you and would just as soon keep the goatee. She gets the same frightened look on her face when I suggest that I'm going to also cut my mustache. Curiously, I'm starting to realize that she's the antithesis of the saw that I mentioned about women thinking that their husbands will change, because she'd like to believe that I'll look 26 years old forever.

[westgrandboulevard]

She can stay young, just as long as you do......

[Jerry Oz]

She's forever young in my heart... After 26 years, she's still my boo.

[westgrandboulevard]

The world needs more couples like you! There are plenty of people sat alone and relatively happy with that...but there is a whole lot more, who are not...

[Jerry Oz]

It's Mom and Dad's fault. Holding strong through troubling times can have an impact on the kids' relationships. There are four of us, three who are still with our original spouses and a fourth who has been married to his current wife for 22 years.

Anybody can quit, but if that's your mindset, why get married to begin with?

[westgrandboulevard]

They say there's someone for everyone. It's just finding them, and then compromising quite a bit of the time, while holding on to what each finds to be of value.

In my mind, everyone has some life's work. Many get together, some become married [[currently less than half), and have children. They have reproduced themselves, so that is their life's work done in the most basic sense, and everything else follows on from there.

Not all couples have children. That's Nature's way. But if everyone could find someone and, between them, create something which was not in existence when they met [[i.e. a third entity), then that, IMHO, counts as a 'life's work'.

[Jerry Oz]

We chose not to have kids. It may sound selfish to some, but I never truly felt that I'd be missing out on something of I didn't have them. Now that I'm in my latter years, I'm more than comfortable with my choice. There is opportunity cost to everything in life and after measuring it all out, I came out even.

[westgrandboulevard]

Right from when I was young, the idea of reproducing myself was never one I could embrace.I just knew it would never happen.

As you quite rightly say, we don't miss what we've never had.

By nature, I was born to being a close friend and companion, rather than an all-consuming lover, and to be an uncle, rather than a father.

[Jerry Oz]

Amen. I refer to my nephews and nieces as my kids. Oddly enough, they range in age between 19 and 33 and none of them has had children yet, bucking the trend in the US to have kids earlier, even if they aren't married or in an established relationship.

[westgrandboulevard]

If I were that age, with the education they are receiving about the economy, and all the other information available on the internet, I'd be thinking "we can't afford kids yet..."

In previous decades, couples just got on with it, and made the best of it, but there are more lifestyle choices now.

Although I have no children, and can afford to be idealistic, I do feel that all children should be planned, and not just 'happen' - but whatever the circumstances of their conception, they should feel wanted and loved.

[Jerry Oz]

This is true. I've seen more women planning and having children as they approach their mid- to upper-20s because they're not willing to settle for their choice of mates, but they feel that their biological clock is ticking. These are not your typical "hoodrats" or welfare queens, but educated women who otherwise make very logical choices for their lives. I'd have less of a problem with their decisions to have kids if they didn't wind up forcing their parents to be parents all over again so that their daughters can have it all - kid and career.

[westgrandboulevard]

My sister, who had three sons within five years, said when they were all young : "Grandmothers come in very useful".....

[Jerry Oz]

I knew a woman who was a grandmother at 33. I believe that made her mom a great grandmother at 50.

[westgrandboulevard]

They were obviously keen to rapidly generate generations!

[Jerry Oz]

More likely they used sex as an emotional crutch when other, more healthy outlets would have served them better. My acquaintance's life is a horribly jumbled mess and 90% of the reason why is her questionable sexual practices. Sadly, that statement is in no wise judgmental.

[westgrandboulevard]

If it's a fact, it will be undeniable.....

[Jerry Oz]

Sadly, it's undeniably true. I would hate to think that she's not an outlier for social mores. But that is a judgmental statement.

[westgrandboulevard]

I feel I'm less judgemental now about other people than in the past.

It began to feel as if I was trying to hold on too hard to what I believed was the right thing to do this, or that. There was also the feeling that I may have been hiding some unspecified and suppressed misgivings with myself.

Now I tend to go for plain facts, and let others do what they must - as I can't know exactly what goes through their minds.

Goodness knows, I have to keep a strong enough grip on what goes through my own mind!

[Jerry Oz]

Hear, hear. I feel the same way. I find myself making opinions of others based on my values. Lately, my opinions are tempered by the fact that someone else might not share them. Consequently, whereas I think that parents are abdicating responsibility by catering to every whim of their children [[up to and including breast implants for teenagers), who am I to determine that they are "wrong" for doing it? I'd be wrong to do it because I'd be preaching a message of self-love to my daughter [[if I had one) that would fly in the face of artificial ways to improve yourself. But that's just me.

[arr&bee]

Gee guys if it gets any more sentimental,i'm gonna break out my violin[hehehehe]just messin wit cha,what's up?been gone a couple minutes but i'm baaaack.

[westgrandboulevard]

It was more than a couple of minutes. Cup of coffee, anyone??

[Jerry Oz]

Nothing like a splash of coffee to make your hooch come to live in the morning.