Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

[arr&bee]

ME A POLITICIAN???YUCK I SHUDDER AT THE THOUGHT,NOW VOICE WOULD BE ALL FOR IT[he loves the sound of his own voice]OF COURSE I COULD GET THIS COUNTRY MOVING AGAIN...BUT FIRST I GOT A MOVIE TO FINISH.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ahem. First, you have a movie to START!

[[I think I shall work in tandem with Voice. Then, there will be one in your head - and another on your screen. Soon, they will be all over the place.....)

[arr&bee]

Why i tell you this is gonna be bigger than those movies made by zizzle c damall,we're on our way.

[westgrandboulevard]

We'll need a very large sound stage.

[arr&bee]

That's why we're filming in the grand canyon...what an echo...nobody really uses it much anyhow.

[westgrandboulevard]

Except five million visitors every year, who roll up and say "Geeeee!!!!"

We'll need a McDonald's for the catering.

[arr&bee]

Five million?great for the crowd scenes..i got tinkerbell and her fairies for the catering.

[westgrandboulevard]

They'll need to magic up all those beef burgers very quickly.

[arr&bee]

Um,we're not using real beef..[i mean why bother those nice cows.]meat substitutes,they'll never know until the stomach starts moving.

[westgrandboulevard]

OK, veggie burgers. Washed down with Ice bergers......

[Jerry Oz]

What's wrong with using beef? Give the cows a shot of hooch and they'll cook from the inside out, saving tons on energy and charcoal costs.

[westgrandboulevard]

Maybe, but all that extra heat combining with their methane gas could prove very dangerous all round....

[Jerry Oz]

You may just have solved the mystery of global warming! Hooch-drinking cattle! Where should they send your Nobel Prize?

[westgrandboulevard]

Wal-Mart. I'm sitting at their HQ right now, waiting to do an extremely lucrative deal with them for a new line in milk, with essence of hooch.

And shouldn't that be The No-Bull Prize?

[Jerry Oz]

You might want to cut You-Know-Who in or the supply of magical elixur may dry up. And if Wal-Mart wants to label the ingredients, you may meet resistance from the bootlegger - I mean, the supplier...

[westgrandboulevard]

Wait till he finds out how much money is involved. An open day will immediately be held. Blindfolds will be removed on arrival at a secret destination.

There will be a funfair, and demonstrations of cooking with Milk of Magic Elixur [[if not actually pasturised, then at least half way up your chest), given by arr&bee, with the aid of a state-of-the-art sound system.

All cows must be accompanied by a responsible adult.

[Jerry Oz]

"Responsible adults" will be in plentiful supply once they get a taste of the milk. You may need to check identification to make sure kids aren't trying to buy butter before they are 21.

[westgrandboulevard]

Buying butter before they're 21? Can't kids have any childhood these days....??

[Jerry Oz]

Not when spreading butter on your toast results in court-ordered rehab...

[westgrandboulevard]

Maybe a low-hooch version would be more acceptable.

[Jerry Oz]

Shhhhhh! You'll scare arr&bee away talking like that.

[westgrandboulevard]

Low-hooch version for the mass market.

High-hooch version for the specialists - at twice the price [[discount available for addicts...)

[Jerry Oz]

Don't discount for the boozers. If they do not have the money, they can always bum for it or steal it from someone else. They are great for the economy.

[westgrandboulevard]

True, but business is supposed to look after their best customers.....

[Jerry Oz]

Think about it like this:
1. Business should always look to grow the market.
2. The market for hooch is depressed and hopeless dregs who look for external means for pleasure since their lives pretty much have proven to be failures.
3. Sell hooch to them at the regular price and they have to find the money somewhere, so they will beg, borrow, or steal it from someone else.
4. The more money they obtain through horrible means, the less money the person "offering" the money has to spend on things they actually want.
5. When those folks are broke from being ripped off, they become hopeless and depressed.
6. See point #2 and cycle through. The market will take care of itself, so long as the hooch is addictive enough and we charge exorbitant prices.

And that, sir, is looking out for yourself AND your best customers.

[westgrandboulevard]

Interesting, if depressing theory. Not so sure it really works in reality, or maybe it's just a tad too early in the morning for me, yet......

For simplicity, I'm very drawn to Moe's exclamation on the "Test!!..." thread...

"We may never have to work again westgrand!!"

[Jerry Oz]

So much in society can be corrected if there it made any financial sense to do it. I'm not one who believes in conspiracies per se, but I'm pretty sure that we can prevent many forms of cancer, solve the fuel crisis, and feed the hungry with technology that already exists. The damage to the economy from people who no longer need health care, to purchase oil, and who grow their own sustainable food supply would destroy the balance of money [[and power) on a worldwide level.

Don't think for a moment that the fact that we have people who overindulge in substance abuse is not something that can be engineered away. If you didn't have them, then there'd be less need for cops, less need for insurance, less need for security, less need for hospitals and morticians, and more attention focused on other things and people [[who prefer that things remain the same for some financial reason).

I doubt that it's one or two people or organizations that's responsible. I suspect that society is led by pillars that benefit from unsolved problems, one of them being religion and religious leaders. As a matter of fact, I need to fold a new tinfoil hat because I'm pretty sure they tapped into my mind as I'm typing this...

[westgrandboulevard]

Had they done so, would they know what to do with what they found in your mind?

[Jerry Oz]

They're still trying to figure out why I stopped eating meat before digging into more substantive and nutty parts of Ozzie's brain.

"Religon?"
"Nope."
"Health reason?"
"Apparently not."
"Stopped liking it? It appears that he loves the stuff."
"Uh-uh."
"Animal hugger?"
"Doesn't appear to be. Should we proceed with the rest of the scan, sir?"
"Are you crazy? We have to figure this one out, first! Nobody stops eating meat because it violates the implied trust of the relationship between the farmer and the animal! He's hiding something!!"

[westgrandboulevard]

'They' sound like the same people who analyse use of store loyalty cards.

[Jerry Oz]

They are the cause of so much confusion in society. They're the reasons that space launches count down from 10, even though the launch is 11 seconds later. Am I the only one who wonders why? Whoops, I think they're on to me...

[westgrandboulevard]

Funny you should mention that.

I've had this strange feeling that someone has been stealing spaces from the sentences in this very thread.

Lock the door, then bolt all the windows.....

[Jerry Oz]

They are here to find the secret of arr&bee's hooch. It's led them to our doorstep and now they know everything about us... It's time to drop off the grid. When next we converse, it will be under my super-secret anonymous screen name: Gerry Oz.

Burn this post after reading it...

[westgrandboulevard]

The screen just melted here.....

A passenger pigeon is on its way.

[Jerry Oz]

Don't panic. They may not know where you are yet.

Wait... Please tell me that you aren't on West Grand Boulevard...

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm in the funeral home next door to Hitsville. lying very still......

[Jerry Oz]

Good. Good. I'll keep that under my hat. By the way, say "hello" to the Contours for me.

[westgrandboulevard]

I was under the impression they were coming over to say "goodbye".......

[Jerry Oz]

Nah. They just want to know if you love them.

[westgrandboulevard]

"Do for me, buy for me,
lift me, carry me,
finally got a guy
to bury me....

'Funny Ghoul'

[Jerry Oz]

I knew a funny ghoul. She died quite frequently on stage...

[westgrandboulevard]

That's the spirit!!

[Jerry Oz]

Dude, you're killing me...

[westgrandboulevard]

I normally go out about now, but think I'll spend the night in. My coffin awaits.

G'night, and see you in the morning [[UK time, of course!)

[Jerry Oz]

Peace out, amigo mio. I have to hit the pillow myself; we're working overtime again and I have to get up early.

[arr&bee]

Hey you two are pretty good with the ideas and all...[of course i hold all patents and potions]well keep up the good work.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, arr&bee, you may think you hold all patents and potions....but there was a knock at my door the other evening, and there stood a leprechaun.....

[Jerry Oz]

Was he holding a subpoena? Nasty little suckers...

[westgrandboulevard]

Well no, he said he had information which might prove to be of great interest to me, and could he step inside?

I wondered how he would, in fact, negotiate the step to reach the inside....but in he came.

It seems he's been up to some espionage, and it appears he is far from alone. A horde of them have been conducting a surveillance operation on arr&bee's activities.

They have cunningly traced arr&bee to this site [[see, I told you to lock the door, and bolt all the windows). They have noted that he refers to them as 'leps', and are very affronted.

He said that, as a direct consequence, he was visiting me to ask if I was interested [[at all, at all) in information which would be to my financial advantage.......

[Jerry Oz]

This has all the trappings of an international best seller... Can you wait while I get a pencil and paper and start all over again at the point that he knocked on your door?