Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

[Jerry Oz]

The horizontal clock reference. Perspective changes even the most ordinary things to something new.

[westgrandboulevard]

That was my own observation, only for what it was worth [[!), because your words spontaneously inspired me to make it.

I was trying for an analogy, to illustrate how things with which we are very familiar and which never vary, can suddenly take on a new and different meaning, but only when viewed with additional insight - that is, from a different angle. Things we recognise and rely on are often not all they seem, so interpretation is required ,to understand and make any progress.

The essential ingredient is positive interpretation [[as in, ordinary things becoming special and beautiful) - and just lately, maybe you've been tending at times to view your world with a somewhat negative interpretation [[as in ordinary things becoming mundane and tedious)......which we all do, of course....and probably due to sheer physical and mental tiredness and stress.

Mine was just a simplistic response to the way you described suddenly feeling a little lighter in mood, albeit due to hearing of a sad and potentially life changing event in someone else's world. It affected you to some degree emotionally, but still did not actually change anything in your own world [['fixed numbers on the clock face'). What happened was that, in your mind, you simply walked around the 'clock face', and viewed the routine and familiar in your own life, from a different position. To quote the Bible, the scales fell from your eyes.

Try this one. Jerry is ploughing away at work, day to day, week to week, for years. He is never sure where it is going to lead. Partly interested in what may happen, but partly repelled by it all. If Jerry moves to a different angle [[i.e. viewpoint), it may be that nothing he knows will actually change, yet it will seem to, and appear fresh and hopeful.

You might try writing the obituary [[yes, I know...!! LOL) with which you would be pleased, while making sure you include everything that is real in your life, good and bad. Denial is a waste of time.The difference is the perspective - in this case, you would be reporting back from your ultimate destination. Everything is still recognisable, but you need to add in something new, anything you wish, as a logical extension to all you currently have, and all you have experienced.

The reason for all your endeavour in life to date will then become clearer, as from your own hand.

If you sit and study your projected account of your own life [[as seen from the point of retrospection), and feel comfortable with it , then what is to stop you seriously considering trying it for real, from that moment on.

At the moment there's nothing to fear - it's only words, only thought, but the answer you're seeking is literally at your fingertips. You simply need to read your own thoughts back to yourself, and see how you view them.

And as if to prove it works, I've just reviewed everything I've written to you today - and I have nooooooo idea where it came from, as I typed it just as fast as I could think it. And it doesn't even sound like me speaking, so I guess I've learned something, and hope just something of it might be useful to you , too....... LOL

[Jerry Oz]

In the end, it all comes down to the point that life, with all of its valleys, should have many more peaks. If it does not, then you need to look for what you consider to be a high place and plot a course for it.

[arr&bee]

Hey west,are you a member of parliment you know alot of big words.

[westgrandboulevard]

Jerry...yes, that's exactly it. We work our way through the days, attending to the little details [[which then quickly form a routine of distraction) but are only aware of our individual course whenever we look back on our lives. Something wrong there, if we have but only the one life.....

arr&bee...no, I'm not an MP! LOL Wouldn't care to be. I'd much prefer to communicate with people on a one-to-one basis, or with the written word - and yes, there does seem to be a lot of them at times, but none of them 'big' .LOLOL

[Jerry Oz]

I don't know about that, compadre... You even added a second syllable to "LOL". That's pretty big to me...

[westgrandboulevard]

Long words, short words - they're all the same without a 'big' meaning....but light chatter helps the day go by

[Jerry Oz]

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The simplest way to communicate a point is knowing how to use words effectively. Using the fewest words in the right combination is a skill. From what I know of you, you give thought to what you type and are an excellent communicator. Not to puff you up, but you should be proud of that particular ability.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, I thank you kindly for that compliment, Jerry.

I remember a teacher in infants school saying something similar, more than 50 years ago - although I have since wondered if it was said just to encourage me. A school report a few years later described me as 'diffident'.

Ever since, I've been OK, but there's been a lot of uncertainty, and "what'ifs" - and a feeling that it's often best to remain silent. Well, sometimes it is, of course, but not always.... LOL

It took years of lurking on SDF to get the confidence to actually register a name, let alone post comments.

And here we are. I think I can recognise different degrees of hesitancy, sadness, disappointment etc in my fellow members, and can understand them for it.

Really, we're here on SDF to bounce things back and forth with each other , and can and should disagree - but should also support each other.

[Jerry Oz]

There would be no purpose to a message board if every poster had the same message. It's okay to disagree but not cool to be disagreeable about it. They're just words. I suspect that the things that bug us the most [[aside from baseless personal attacks) are the things that cut to the core and have the ring of truth to them. But still, who wants to be upset with someone that they wouldn't even recognize walking down the street? There are tons of characters on these forums and I've learned a lot in just a couple of years. I read with awe some of the recollections, realizing that many of these folks were/are associated with some of my musical heroes. The 21st century is better than advertised in the Jetsons. All we're missing is the mechanized domestics and flying cars.

[westgrandboulevard]

I have an idea that many of us on SDF tend more towards introversion.

We sit, directing our communications to each other, often sitting alone while doing it - or, at least, somewhat in our own world.

We may even, back in the day, have listened to the music we love largely in our own company.

I just feel sometimes that is the reason why some people can appear to be disagreeable at times. It may seem to them that someone with a different take appears to be challenging them as a person, not simply for their opinion.

[Jerry Oz]

Hmmm... That is the textbook definition for anti-social behavior. You're probably correct, but I hadn't considered it. In my particular case, my parents' records inspired my love for music and I loved playing it in the company of friends or by myself. I just always wanted to hear something that I liked. I sometimes visit the forum as an escape; you already know that I try to stop in on my breaks and lunches because it's cool to engage people other than those with whom I work to free my mind of what certain nitwits might want me to think about. I do believe that 20 years down the line, most social interaction will be on-line and that the loneliest people will not be lonely anymore, but they will still be alone.

[westgrandboulevard]

I agree about the anti-social behaviour, but am curious why it happens. Has to be a reason.

I think you always visit the forum as an escape - we all do, as it provides an extension of our personality, which we may be unable to express elsewhere.

Your last sentence : I think that's already true of many people, let alone 20 years. Despite its downside, the internet is a wonderful way of keeping in touch, and at our own speed.

Being alone,content, and not aware of time passing, is being at one with oneself.

Being alone and not enjoying the time passing, is lonely.

[Jerry Oz]

I will buy that. But I pity anyone who does not desire to be physically touched, regardless of how many virtual "friends" they have. In present day, I'd suggest that those who fit into that description were hurt by something or someone in their past that makes them less inclined to experience that pain again. In the future, it may be that physical, intimate contact is increasingly rare. For proof, look at the teenagers who sit across the room from each other and prefer to communicate via texting instead of by talking.

[westgrandboulevard]

Teenagers are very naive in some of their internet relationships, but also inclined not to learn about relationships, step by step. In other words, some are on the fast track, and not wanting to make mistakes. But yes, in the real world, proximity is king.

Regarding not being touched, that could depend on a combination of one's nature, and one's upbringing. There might be a certain emotional detachment to a person's character but it needn't necessarily be negative, or cold. The most balanced people are often the more cerebral ones, who don't feel they just have to have someone for themselves. They might be said to be of the 'enquire within' variety, and selective. They would be instantly attracted as much as anyone else - it just takes a little longer. Or, in some cases of course, never....

[Jerry Oz]

My nephew graduated with both a high school diploma and an associates' degree. He was a straight "A" student and probably the finest young man that I've been associated with in my life. Polite to all that he met and respectful to his elders. He was the perfect son, always taking the time to do the right thing and obedient to a fault to his parents. In fact, he spent most of his time with them. He was the very definition of cerebral.

He secured a full four-year scholarship to college. Once there, he met a girl who was much more - well - worldly than he. Unfortunately, they had the type of chemistry that makes couples inseparable and sometimes that can be problematic. Rather than raise her worldview to his, she brought him to her level. She stole a credit card and one night he used it for gas. Did you know that most gas stations have security cameras these days?

Anyway, largely thanks to his first girlfriend or to his naivete, he was convicted of a felony, kicked out of school, and two years after he was known to have unlimited promise, he had the promise of a convict in a world that can be selective about who to hire. One of the absolute deal breakers to getting most jobs is a record as a convicted thief.

The good news? That chemical bond was unbreakable and the lovebirds are now married. Remember when I told you that she was worldly? She knew not to talk to the cops when questioned, so her record is relatively clean. The reason that I bring it up is that there is probably somebody for everybody. Social missteps in youth can lead us to a sense of who to trust and who to avoid after we've grown. Sheltering can sometimes work against us.

We may not all have the same desire or need to be touched, but on some level, we all have the desire to be accepted intimately by another being. Even if it's a pet, I suppose. I'm not speaking on a sexual level here, but to be self-actualized, we have to matter to someone else in some way. It's just my belief, I guess, but we're all happier when we're happy with someone else than we can ever be alone.

[westgrandboulevard]

Just taking your last sentence as a first, I seem to notice that a lot of people are relatively happy on their own, rather than be with the wrong person. Their age is becoming younger. Relatively, as I'd agree that's not the ideal arrangement for many young people, but there will always be exceptions, I suppose.

'Relatively' can, of course, also apply to a lot of people are relatively happy together. It's a deal, a compromise one does with the living, to attain a peaceful existence [[probably from middle age).

Living alone can be a deal struck in life with partners who have passed away, gone and never can be replaced [[generally in senior years). Yes indeed, a pet can be a wonderful companion, to take forward with us the details of a long life with a partner, but a life which has changed irrevocably. A reason to continue living.

Yes, agreed, people do need to feel valued. Respected, if perhaps not always liked. Sometimes, it's necessary to stick at being respected. It's good to track our progress through life, and keep an eye on the satisfactory elements, instead of dwelling on the perceived dissatisfactions.

Looking at your point 'that there is probably somebody for everybody'. Sometimes, that certainly does come at a cost. Your nephew lowered his game, in his journey towards marriage. There could have been other ladies he knew, who admired him, saw what was going on, and have just kept walking.

How is the couple doing these days?

[Jerry Oz]

I have not heard from my brother-in-law about him since hearing about the marriage. He still does not like his daughter-in-law, but his wife has accepted her. She even helped her to get a job where she works, so I would be shocked if things have not become more civil. I suppose the association helped my nephew's wife agree all but only after great cost to him.

And I didn't say that we cannot be happy alone, only that we can be happier with someone else [[hopefully a complement to our lives, not a detracttion) than we can be alone. Again, that is simply Jerry Oz 's opinion...

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, I would say that living with someone understanding is indeed the best option, if it is at all possible for any of us.

I imagine many of us have spent much of our lives hoping first to achieve and then maintain that best option, followed by even more time feeling fearful of its loss.

[Jerry Oz]

Looking at it now, it should not matter if he failed to live up to everyone else's idea of his potential if he is happy with the outcome of his choices. We are all just selfish because he was in position to do things that we already had failed to do. Who are we to judge him when we all had the chance to exceed our expectations for ourselves but did not?

[westgrandboulevard]

Hmmm......is there something you've not yet mentioned - like some act of atonement by your nephew's wife?

I can't help thinking that, if he married a woman who not only stole a credit card, but then let him use it, something is skewed somewhere.....it's as if she is the stronger, more dominant partner, while he is really insecure, and just too easily influenced....

It's not right to judge, of course, without knowing all the circumstances, but I can imagine there has been such a lot of disappointment felt throughout the whole sorry scenario...

[Jerry Oz]

There is nothing that accounts for my change of perspective, I'm afraid. I just realized that it is unfair to suggest that.someone let me down when it is his life. I am dismayed, to say the least, that he was the son 99% of us would like our children to be, but it is his life. From what I understand, his mother accepted her after realizing that refusing to have her in their lives meant that they would not have him either. That suggests to me that he is happy with his choice of mate. C'est la vie.

[westgrandboulevard]

It will be interesting if he starts to see events in a different light when he hits middle age - which he might.

In typing these responses, I've just remembered the expressions on my Mum & Dad's faces at times, when I was much younger. They thought they should let me make my own decisions, so didn't want to say too much to influence me either way...but I could tell they were concerned, sometimes. It wasn't what was said, it was what wasn't.....

Anyway, I'd have been a hopeless parent, as I'd always be worrying about my kids! Still, as every parent seems to say, it's different when they're your own!

[arr&bee]

You guys are deep like that philosopher....hippodemocratic.

[westgrandboulevard]

Two things make your eyes glaze over. Your hooch - and our posts......

ps. can't you sleep? It's already nearly 9.30 am under an overcast sky, here in the UK....

[arr&bee]

That's right you're in another twilight zone.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm definitely still one of The Undead. Sat here in my bath robe. Not cleaned myself yet, or had a good coffee......

ps. if you can remember, where are you in the US?

[Jerry Oz]

If I recall, he's from the DC area which is in the eastern time zone. If you ever come to the States, you can find DC from New York by heading west until you smell it and then turn south until you step in it.

Just kidding, of course...

[westgrandboulevard]

I hope, for your sake, you are indeed kidding! LOL

[Jerry Oz]

I amm curious about arr&bee's night-time posting, though... I'm starting to think that he's hooch-pire and that might explain all of the recent reports of hooch containers found drained of all bottle-y fluids in the night.

[westgrandboulevard]

I suppose there might be a corresponding number of people found fully-tanked of bottle-y fluids in the night....or do you think arr&bee's hooch empire is a self "well thank you, I don't mind if I do" serving operation...?

[Jerry Oz]

It probably is. He always appears to be quite willing to share that magical elixur.

[westgrandboulevard]

While there's none to share, that is.

It's another interpretation of 'generosity of spirit'....!

[Jerry Oz]

If he is a purveyor of virtual spirits, does it stand to reason to believe that he is spiritual?

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...hoochpire[classic]yep and i lie awake in a hooch soaked coffin i'm a regular count hoochula.

[Jerry Oz]

I gotta get the movie rights to that... That is a blockbuster if it is shown in hooch vision on the big screens.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'll do the screenplay for a very modest sum, but I've a real keen eye on those residuals.

[Jerry Oz]

Now we are getting someplace! Hopefully arr&bee can produce the movie [[and star in it) since he'll have to [[finally) produce the hooch and presumably drink it. A lesser man would wilt on camera from trying to handle such a wondrous substance.

[westgrandboulevard]

Let's hope arr&bee can nail his scenes with the hooch in just one take. Otherwise, production of the movie, let alone the hooch, is doomed.

I forsee hazardous difficulties. The cost of insurance will be horrendous, as arr&bee's hooch must be the only liquid ever known which requires a burning fuse.

If you think that all sounds like an exaggeration, you've not yet read my script....

[Jerry Oz]

I'm dying to see this movie made. No hyperbole intended. If we make this movie, we'll probably all die.

[westgrandboulevard]

Movies are best seen in the dark, so no change there......

[Jerry Oz]

If hooch is involved, you can to the drive in but they'll probably have to carry you out...

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, it's one way of dumping a date, and getting a lift home from someone else.....

[Jerry Oz]

Uhhh... Are you speaking from experience on that last one?

[westgrandboulevard]

No....just my imagination, after observing other people's behaviour.

The only drive-in I've ever visited is a car wash!

[Jerry Oz]

I thought that the onion was peeling back a layer there for a moment... Next thing I know, you'll be putting agent 007 to shame for secrets.

[westgrandboulevard]

Why yes Jerry, people DO have a habit of telling me their life story! LOL

[Jerry Oz]

I thought for a minute there I was finding out something new about you... Leaving drunken dates at the movies and catching rides home with friends? That would have been a stark reinterpretation of who I thought you to be although I have formerly associated with men who would do that and laugh about it the next day.

[westgrandboulevard]

If the scenario had ever happened, I would have made arrangements to get a drunken date home - even if it had meant paying for a taxi to take them home, instead of taking them home.

The most decisive action I ever needed to take, to bring my time with someone else to an abrupt full stop, was to get out of a car in which I was a passenger, while it was still moving, just as the driver slowed before the traffic lights then went from red to green ....

[Jerry Oz]

Hah! I once left a date in the middle of an screaming argument between her and her ex, who had stopped by without first calling. It was one of those "who is he?!" situations, with the "he" being Jerry. I always have wondered at which point they noticed that I had left.