Interracial dating and marriage

[soulster]

It's 2012. Interracial dating and marriage is on the rise. The U.S. has it's first interracial president. What is your opinion about this. Discuss.

Don't be politically correct, let it all hang out.

[jillfoster]

I think people should do what thye want, without other people beating them over the head about it. Whover you are into, as long as your'e not hurting anyone else is fine.

[soulster]

I think people should do what thye want, without other people beating them over the head about it. Whover you are into, as long as your'e not hurting anyone else is fine.

Now, have you ever had any specific reservation about it? You're fine with it and that's it? Do you have any stories to tell?

I'm looking for a discussion of various points of view and experiences, and why one may feel the way they do.

[timmyfunk]

Love it. Period.

[destruction]

On a related topic....what's up with women wearing pants?

[soulster]

On a related topic....what's up with women wearing pants?

No, it's not related. Sheesh! I'm not trying to stir up anything, either.

The reason I started this thread was because the issue came up last night with a few people that I was talking with, and I just though it would be a good discussion here. There are a lot of people who still do not disapprove and hold on to various stereotypes to justify their opposition. BTW, In case you're wondering, I am not one of those people.

For a forum full of very opinionated people, you guys sure have no opinion here. I wonder why.

[roger]

There are a lot of people who still do not disapprove and hold on to various stereotypes to justify their opposition. BTW, In case you're wondering, I am not one of those people.

I'm confused by your double-negative in there soulster. Are you saying that it is wrong?

BTW .. it seems totally natural to me.

Roger

[robb_k]

Scientists know now that humans' DNA is 99% the same as that of chimpanzees! How different can one human be from another? They have stated that "race" is a meaningless term. We are ALL from the same original pair of parents. We are ALL very closely related. Why wouldn't we marry each other and have children? If we were not meant to have children with each other [[if our skin colour were different, then we would be different species and, thus, not able to reproduce. The fact that we can [[biologically) reproduce together proves that there is nothing wrong with that.

Normally one would think that the "browning" of the "so-called races" would end all "racial hatred". But, knowing human nature, I know that humans will find a way to separate from each other in other ways.

I am Jewish. When I grew up, marrying outside our religion just wasn't done. Now, in USA and Canada [[and, I dare say) in The Netherlands and The U.K., as well, it is commonplace, and no one thinks twice about it. That's the way it should be with the so-called races. There are several orientals in my extended family, although, no African-Americans or Africans so far, no Australian Aboriginies, nor Melanesians, Polynesians, Arabs or Native Americans. I live with a Chinese woman.

[soulster]

I'm confused by your double-negative in there soulster. Are you saying that it is wrong?

BTW .. it seems totally natural to me.

Roger

No, i'm saying that I am not one of those people who oppose it.

[splanky]

I believe everybody is better off being able to date and/or marry whoever the funk they choose regardless of race.
That said, I believe they'd better be ready for some static because that is the world we live in and racism ain't disappearing anytime soon. I'm African American but I'd dated white, various members of the hispanic diaspora, chinese,
japanese, korean as well as non African American black women. Funk the bashers...

[Jerry Oz]

I remember when my Mom and I had a version of the "talk". It didn't take long, we didn't discuss particulars. She told me that she would accept anybody that I chose to be with. Then she followed that up with, "but it would break my heart if you married a white girl". LOL! That's the only sign of bias I ever recall seeing or hearing from my Mom.

With that being said, I remember working a job at a grocery store that I got at age 17. A young lady named Teresa, who was white, transferred to my store after her store closed down. She was the most friendly young woman I can recall working with at that job. She had glasses, a bit of an overbite, and dressed a little plainly. But she had a beautiful smile that made anyone talking to her feel at ease.

Anyway, I worked with her for two years and never noticed until it was too late, but she totally transformed herself. She streaked her hair and wore contacts more often than glasses. She dressed in a fashion that was classy but allowed anyone that wanted to notice to see that she was very fit. And she was still just as friendly and still had that beautiful smile. She had college seniors coming into the store with flowers in their hands to court her. I love my African-American sisters, but if that girl wasn't the most beautiful woman that I've known, I forgot who tied her for that post. I was never interested in her in any way other than as a work buddy, but had the door opened, I probably would have broken Mama's heart on that one. Somehow, I think that she would have understood.

I'm cool with whatever floats your boat. I am partial to black women, not just African-American, but I also find many Asian women to be very attractive. And there are beautiful women of all "races"; anyone who says otherwise is a liar and a fool. With that being said, I do find it interesting when some brothers only want to date/marry outside of the race, particularly when their preference is white women. I've seen guys that I know could pull beautiful sisters chase some of the most homely and outwardly plain white women imaginable. In a lot of these cases, those women absolutely smeared the self-respect of those guys by cheating or otherwise putting them down. SMH. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

[jobeterob]

As many people know, my son is part of an interracial marriage. In the next couple of years, we will get to see what a grandchild born of a Caucasian man and East Indian lady will look like! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I think these discussions are good. I know that they are now even regarded is some segments of society as being racist ~ now that is being hypercritical; but I suspect it means this issue is becoming a dead duck in much of the urban world of today.

The day interracial marriage and sexuality disappear from public discussion will mean success.

[Jerry Oz]

Excellent post, jobeterob. I wonder if we'll ever see the day such a trivial reason to discriminate are a thing of the past.

[Ngroove]

Love is love, an unshakeable, natural feeling.

Myself, am a hybrid of caucasian-Korean, with I believe been told time-and-again some German ancestry.

Although I myself still remains unmarried [[for now, until I find the one God has sent for me, and I sent for her), I am glad, I have grown up, live in times, I could befriend, even flirt, with anyone, which I have; hey, if she's cute, she's cute!

Am glad times today has came a long way from the fifties-sixties, where apparently, people often could get high risks of being hazed, prohibited to sleep in hotels, even lynched, for merely even being in association, with people of different skin.

[antceleb12]

My cousins are interracial - 1/4 black, 2/4 white. My other cousins are Mexican and white. At one point, my first three relationships were with people of another race. I didn't even think of that until years later, as I was young and race never even crossed my mind. That is, until one girlfriend of mine came along. We dated for about two months, and I really liked her. Her mother really liked me, too, but not with the fact that I was dating her daughter, who came from a family in which cross-cultural breeding just didn't happen. At the time, I was very much offended and hurt, but I now realize it had nothing to do with me. It was a cultural thing. Her family wanted to preserve their heritage distinctively.

I am 100% all for interracial dating, marriage, whatever.

There are also issues with interracial adopting, in which many agencies are hesitant to let a white couple adopt a black child, or a black couple a white child, etc. A friend of mine who had gone through the adoption process explained that, again, it's a cultural thing.

[soulster]

With that being said, I do find it interesting when some brothers only want to date/marry outside of the race, particularly when their preference is white women.

I do have an issue with that: "date/marry outside of the race". Why the freak should it matter? If a person grows up and lives around mostly others who are not of his/her skin color or heritage, why should they have to sacrifice their happiness just because someone they meet isn't the same as they are? What if some of is of mixed race? Should they have to pick one or the other? I think this "staying with your race" mindset is just as racist as when a White person has it. No one likes it when a White person says one should stay with their own race. So why is it accepted when a Black, or a Mexican, Cuban, Asian says it? After all Whites no longer have a clear majority in many parts of the country.

If not for race, religion, or ethnicity, people tend to seek out those from a similar IQ level and educational level. In fact, IQ level is the biggest factor in which couples will have a successful relationship. Those of different cultures can also make for challenging couples.

And, finally, we tend to choose those who are most like at least one of our parents, regardless of all the other factors!

[soulster]

My cousins are interracial - 1/4 black, 2/4 white. My other cousins are Mexican and white. At one point, my first three relationships were with people of another race. I didn't even think of that until years later, as I was young and race never even crossed my mind. That is, until one girlfriend of mine came along. We dated for about two months, and I really liked her. Her mother really liked me, too, but not with the fact that I was dating her daughter, who came from a family in which cross-cultural breeding just didn't happen. At the time, I was very much offended and hurt, but I now realize it had nothing to do with me. It was a cultural thing. Her family wanted to preserve their heritage distinctively.

I think it's pretty sorry when humans pick something as superficial as skin color and facial features as a way to separate people from one another. A White and a Black person, for an example, can grow up side by side, experience the exact same things in life, be of the exact, same economic level and of similar intelligence, and, yet, people will still separate them by skin color.

[antceleb12]

I think it's pretty sorry when humans pick something as superficial as skin color and facial features as a way to separate people from one another. A White and a Black person, for an example, can grow up side by side, experience the exact same things in life, be of the exact, same economic level and of similar intelligence, and, yet, people will still separate them by skin color.

Agreed. It's a downright shame, even more so in this day and age. I have a friend whose mom is interracial. When growing up [[in the 60s/70s in the North), she was constantly ridiculed by students - both black and white. While the white kids weren't so much the problem, it was the black students who said that she wasn't "black enough." It's a real shame.

[Jerry Oz]

I do have an issue with that: "date/marry outside of the race". Why the freak should it matter?

Of course it doesn't matter. I didn't take issue with it, I just said that I find it interesting. With that being said, it's a free world and people are more than encouraged to make their choices in life. The interesting part is that coming from a background with mostly black friends and family, I am primarily oriented toward finding black women attractive. I see women of other races often that are absolutely beautiful all of the time and reserve the right to find any women from any race/background to be droolworthy. However, if I were to date outside of my race [[such an awkward phrase, BTW), it wouldn't be exclusively outside of my race nor exclusively with a particular race. But, that's just me.

[splanky]

As I said I have no problem with interracial relationships but some of ideas I see expressed here do strike me as odd.
Number one, I don't think a man or woman who is just so genuinely in love with his or her own racial identity and cultural
background can be called racist for preferring to stay within it when choosing a partner. That's absurd to me. It's like
saying a Chinese man should date a Puerto Rican woman to prove he isn't prejudiced against Hispanics...WTF? Also
what do we make of people who are biased against their own race and choose others for that reason, considering them
somehow "better"?...Another thing, in earlier times, i.e. the 50's 60's and 70's with some much racial abuse being conducted in this country LEGALLY, I don't think I'd call a black woman skeptical of her son bringing home a white girl
racist, so much as someone genuinely concerned about all of the drama and pressure it could create....Just my 4 cents...

[dinelle_watson]

Hey y'all. This is just me, but I've never had a problem with interracial relationships and marriages, seeing as my family's mixed. Well, my mom's family anyway. My oldest stepbrother's first wife was hispanic and my brother's second wife is white. And the guy I'm seeing currently is white as well, so I've never really had a problem with it. But that's just the way I was raised, since I'm half Creole anyway.

[R. Mark Desjardins]

As I was reading this thread, I had a flashback to a Jean Terrell fronted Supremes lineup song found on the Produced By Jimmy Webb recording, entitled, "When Can Brown Begin?" I checked out the lyrics and then surfing the net , stumbled upon Webb's inspiration for the song. Lots or food for thought here!



The day turns bright, the night turns wonderful,
Twilight never really brings into an end
If white is right and black is beautiful Lord, tell me when can brown begin?
Tell me, people, when can brown begin?

�When Can Brown Begin� was a pretty new idea. It was a idea that Sammy Davis, Jr. gave me one night when we were having dinner in London. He had made a movie with Peter Lawford called Salt & Pepper, and he was messing around, with salt and pepper shakers.

�You hear a lot about �Black Is beautiful�, �White Is Right�, he said, �but tell me something Jimmy, when can brown begin?� And I said, �Okay, I`ll write that one�.

He laughed. I wrote �When Can Brown Begin� on a linen napkin. I stuck that napkin in my pocket and walked out of the restaurant with it. When I got this job with the Supremes, I was thinking, what could be better for this album than �When Can Brown Begin?� It`s a collaboration between this white man and these black artists.

[jillfoster]

I think people need to realize that color differences are simply natural species adaptation to environmental factors. As far as what floats my boat.. I've never really been attracted to black men or red haired white men with freckles and such.. I don't care for the ends of the spectrum, I like the middle. I find Puerto Ricans EXTREMELY hot.