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  1. #51
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    And thanks for the ups, Soul...

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by smark21 View Post
    Has Ralph ever considered adding a second moderator to shoulder the work, especially at times when Ralph may be too busy on his music to spend much time here?
    He offered it to one of his friends the last time this type of thing erupted, but I had an issue with the guy he offered it to. The person bashed me on two occasions, unprovoked, apparently supporting someone I went off on who went off on me. I *think* we cleared our differences, I don't know. Then, someone bashed me for having a problem with someone who bashed me.

    See what I meant about there being so many preexisting personal relationships here? It's like a little clique.
    Last edited by soulster; 02-12-2012 at 03:54 PM.

  3. #53
    smark21 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by ralpht View Post
    I've thought about that Smark, but am never sure if that might complicate matters.
    Well if you ever do pick someone,choose someone who you can work with, with whom you're in general accord with and with someone who has the respect of the vast majority of members here. That would help make it work.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by smark21 View Post
    Well if you ever do pick someone,choose someone who you can work with, with whom you're in general accord with and with someone who has the respect of the vast majority of members here. That would help make it work.
    Pick someone who isn't personal buddies with other members. Then, no one can be accused of favoritism or having a vendetta.

    And somebody pleeezzze give these obsessed Supremes/DR/MW fans a message board of their own!
    Last edited by soulster; 02-12-2012 at 04:04 PM.

  5. #55
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    That would be difficult shoes to fill, Soul.
    If I had my way, I would outlaw those threads, but then you think I get accused of crap now?

  6. #56
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    I understand the logistics of bringing in another moderator but at the end of the day...someone, will not like a decision that is made.

    Internet forums are not like small democratic countries...would be nice if they were but...that's not the nature of the beast ....even when you have rules in place. Sometimes you find a forum that's a fit, sometimes not but this is not rocket science, if it works for you great...if not...then a person needs to make a decision and do what they have to do.

    Ralph mentioned the forum has been here for 10 years....when it gets to the point it's not working anymore....people will simply stop coming, Lowell will close it down and something else on the net will take it's place.

  7. #57
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    For what it's worth, I think that this is a wonderful forum. And I don't think it's a moderators' place to "scold".
    I am sure that for the most part, we are all adults here. If someone says something that you don't like, or if a back and forth discussion is going nowhere, just stop responding.

    Life is much to short for this kind of bullshit.

    Long live Lowell & Ralph!

  8. #58
    ladonna Guest
    I volunteer for the co-moderator role should it come to be! Rather than enter into an endless debate about this, I will put my money where my mouth is and take on this responsibility, should it be forthcoming; however, I predicted that Ralph, despite health conditions that cause him difficulty, is too ego-ridden to even give up a smidgen of control. [[Anyone care to place a wager .. lol. What say you, Ralph?

    Moderating a site is not that difficult peeps, despite what you've been told. It helps too, if the moderator knows the rules. LOL! I mean, how can one be an effective moderator if one is not familiar with the rules. LOL! Just sayin'. LOLOLOLOL!!

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by soulster View Post
    Well, you guys disagree with me, but I think the rules are are a bit too vague.

    Timmyfunk, you say your behavior is a result of your upbringing, but you have to remember that everyone was raised differently!

    Once again, I have a different opinion than the majority of this forum. That's the way it is, I guess.
    Maybe I'm giving adult human beings too much credit, but I do believe that most people on this board have possess common decency and common sense. Which is probably the reason why controversial moments on this board happen far and few between.

  10. #60
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    Well, my personal opinion is that the reason this site is so successful and continues to flourish is above all else down to the outstanding moderator of the site. Ralph demonstrates great character and skilful judgement in the moderation of this forum, and I personally am very grateful to him for the time and energy he freely gives to the site, with seemingly little reward other than perhaps a little appreciation now and then. The site is incredibly lucky to have someone who combines both the ability to moderate such a dynamic and complex forum as well as a personal life- long participation in the creation and establishment of the music we come here to follow and enthuse about.
    I'd like to see a lot more recognition and thoughtful appreciation for what Ralph does for all of us through this site.

  11. #61
    ladonna Guest
    Again, MIKE-UK, I would respectfully disagree.

  12. #62
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    Adults fight, kids fight, doesn't mean that either is right. Ralph has done an excellent job of wearing the striped shirt when these mini battles occur. I have no problem with his decision making process and even if I did, all I have to do is ignore the thread or poster, refuse to comment or leave the site. But the gray areas are the ones that create difficulty. I've seen many a thread topic go astray when a "fanatical poster" will simply go overboard by writing ridiculous things, going off topic, hijacking threads and then making personal attacks against another member. Its very difficult to judge Ralph's decision making in those cases because something that was so right about a thread has suddenly went very wrong. This happens quite a bit in those threads reserved for all things Supreme, which I avoid like the plague.

    Some members come here for information, others for fun, others out of curiosity and still others that are technocrats and collectors. That's the thing I like best about the forum, the diversity is absolutely refreshing because I can assume all of those characteristics as the needs arise. I've noticed something over the years though, whenever we the membership venture off into politics or religion, usually the race card follows and all hell breaks loose like a Diana Ross & Supremes toenail thread. But Ralph has handled all these situations and more as they develop, like Chi and some others have said, he does a dam good job. He's battled trolls and hackers, and all sorts of vile things over the years and even when I didn't agree with some of his decisions, I've always respected him as an individual.

    Like TimmyFunk, I was brought up to be respectful and considerate of others, but sometimes folk can push your button and before you know it you're ready to come out swinging. Shhh happens, but really folks, being civil and practicing self comportment should outweigh most everything else, you can still be passionate about your favorite Motown or other artist without resorting to the tactics of some of the folk who come here just itching for a brawl.

    Years ago, this place was a hell of a lot of fun, because of the presence of like minded members who told outrageous stories [[ mostly true) and they employed a sense of humor about and throughout the entire site, not only about the artists but themselves as well. There will always be folk who hide behind the computer and wait for the next cyber accident/incident to occur but that's just the way it is. I can deal with that.........besides that the only other thing I really miss is the old black background forum and the way the threads would light up like neon, now that was some cool stuff if I ever saw it...and when I first got here lo those many years ago, I was like dam-yum this is so cool. Ralph I know its long gone but I aint never gonna get over that........you know how it goes...some like David, some like Dennis.......I like them both.....

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by MIKEW-UK View Post
    Well, my personal opinion is that the reason this site is so successful and continues to flourish is above all else down to the outstanding moderator of the site. Ralph demonstrates great character and skilful judgement in the moderation of this forum, and I personally am very grateful to him for the time and energy he freely gives to the site, with seemingly little reward other than perhaps a little appreciation now and then. The site is incredibly lucky to have someone who combines both the ability to moderate such a dynamic and complex forum as well as a personal life- long participation in the creation and establishment of the music we come here to follow and enthuse about.
    I'd like to see a lot more recognition and thoughtful appreciation for what Ralph does for all of us through this site.
    Totally agree. Thumbs up Ralph.

  14. #64
    ladonna Guest
    Has anyone actually absorbed anything I've written? I LMAO at Ralph's question, "Ladonna, what's your beef?" I have stated my " beef" quite clearly and succinctly throughout this thread, if anyone cares to read for comprehension and with objectivity. Ay-yi-yi! How much longer before this thread bites the dust I wonder?

  15. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladonna View Post
    I volunteer for the co-moderator role should it come to be! Rather than enter into an endless debate about this, I will put my money where my mouth is and take on this responsibility, should it be forthcoming; however, I predicted that Ralph, despite health conditions that cause him difficulty, is too ego-ridden to even give up a smidgen of control. [[Anyone care to place a wager .. lol. What say you, Ralph?

    Moderating a site is not that difficult peeps, despite what you've been told. It helps too, if the moderator knows the rules. LOL! I mean, how can one be an effective moderator if one is not familiar with the rules. LOL! Just sayin'. LOLOLOLOL!!
    Are you losing it or are you crying because you can't have your way? I thought you announced yesterday that you were going back into lurker status. What happened?

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladonna View Post
    Again, MIKE-UK, I would respectfully disagree.
    Again, then why are you still here?

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by MIKEW-UK View Post
    Well, my personal opinion is that the reason this site is so successful and continues to flourish is above all else down to the outstanding moderator of the site. Ralph demonstrates great character and skilful judgement in the moderation of this forum, and I personally am very grateful to him for the time and energy he freely gives to the site, with seemingly little reward other than perhaps a little appreciation now and then. The site is incredibly lucky to have someone who combines both the ability to moderate such a dynamic and complex forum as well as a personal life- long participation in the creation and establishment of the music we come here to follow and enthuse about.
    I'd like to see a lot more recognition and thoughtful appreciation for what Ralph does for all of us through this site.


    I most definitely agree Mike. Thanks for this post!

  18. #68
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    How much longer before this thread bites the dust I wonder?

    and I will repeat...this is not rocket science, if it works for you great...if not...then a person needs to make a decision and do what they have to do.

    I'm not trying to be bitchy about this ladonna and I welcome all people who choose to grace this forum... but Ralph isn't going anywhere whether you like it or not....your move.

    I wish you well whatever you decide.

  19. #69
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    Maybe she will just go, Ms.M. Thank you to all my friends for the kind words of support. It means a lot to me.

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by ralpht View Post
    That would be difficult shoes to fill, Soul.
    If I had my way, I would outlaw those threads, but then you think I get accused of crap now?
    It's your right to remove posts and threads.

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by ralpht View Post
    Maybe she will just go, Ms.M. Thank you to all my friends for the kind words of support. It means a lot to me.
    Who's better than you Ralph? Did you see the Beach Boys reunion on the Grammys?

  22. #72
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    To be honest Ralph I wish she would hang around. In a lot of ways she reminds me... of me....LOL...

    ladonna is dogmatic, persistent and she stands up for what she believes in....I respect that but trying to force you out after all these years is not going to happen and I think that's something she may want to learn to accept. If she can't, no crime committed.

    I will say this though, when YOU make the decision to walk....I'm out too. It's been a good run and I will admit I miss the old days but I hang in there because of the friendships I've made here...on and off the board. I can hang as long as you can my friend and when it's time to go....we'll hook up some other place I'm sure.

  23. #73
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    I would say that even if someone does wind up pushing another's buttons, one has to consider the intent. Was the post designed to push buttons, or was it the reader's frame of mind?

    Sometimes it's good to just step away from the computer when something comes up and think through the response before one "goes off".

  24. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by paladin View Post
    Years ago, this place was a hell of a lot of fun, because of the presence of like minded members...
    What I have been trying to say is that this place may be too big or diverse for it to be like that again. It's just a consequence of a growing forum. The same handful of people frequently post, but there are more who dip their toe in. And, a lot of members have never met. I have not met one single person on this forum, and have only seen pictures of two, Ralph and Ms. M.

    BTW, since this is kind of one of those threads where people are airing out their frustrations, anger, and whatever, I want to state that I did not deserve your insults toward me the last time this type of thread happened. You assumed that I knew what everyone meant by "the grandfather". You may not have realized that I am not in your little clique, or know your little nicknames for people.

  25. #75
    ladonna Guest
    Anyway, my offer and wager stands.

  26. #76
    ladonna Guest
    Oh! If photos count, mine is on my profile; although, I hardly see the relevance to this thread, soulster.

    Thanks for the shout out, but let's not get dramatic, no one is trying to force anything. I am simply offering up a few ideas that could make the SDF experience more enjoyable for all. Are y'all this defensive in your personal lives.

    Once again, Ralph; if you need a break, I'm your gal!

  27. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladonna View Post
    Anyway, my offer and wager stands.
    Ralph is not going to offer either one of us the job. You have too many enemies, and I have had bad run-ins with a few people. And I get annoyed with the obsessed Supremes fans.
    Last edited by soulster; 02-12-2012 at 11:33 PM. Reason: added another thought

  28. #78
    ladonna Guest
    But he's made you his mouthpiece, soulster?

  29. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladonna View Post
    But he's made you his mouthpiece, soulster?
    No, just telling you the truth. You would go after certain members like I would focus on those Supremes/DR/MW threads, and I wouldn't be so kind to all the stupid bickering that goes on about those singers.

  30. #80
    ladonna Guest
    I know, baby; scroll up; I've already discussed Ralph's inability to relinquish control, but I've been wrong before.

  31. #81
    ladonna Guest
    But see Soulster, that's why I would be ideal, as long as they didn't violate the rules, I wouldn't treat any of the groups you've mentioned differently. I have the ability to separate my personal beliefs, feelings, biases, etc. from the duties of being a moderator.

    I've made my case; moving on ..

  32. #82
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    LOL...you crack me up ladonna and I mean that in a good way. If you look through the thread, the only person who seems not to be having an enjoyable experience here [[overall) is you.

    That's not to say there are not others out there in lurker land who may feel the way you do but so far...you seem to be a majority of one sweetie....I feel ya on that, cause I've been there done that. But at some point you will be the one that has to decide how your stay here will be....or not. You can't change others but you can change how you react to others....if you want an enjoyable stay...only you can make that happen.

  33. #83
    ladonna Guest
    Ha, ha!! Girl, I have had a number of folks contact me in support, maybe they will make themselves known. They fear Ralph's bullying tactics.

    If you feel any dismay in my part, my darling ms m., most likely it stems from attempting to have an objective debate with so many who lack the ability to be objective. Waaaaaaa!!

    Now stop it; I will await Ralph's response. ;O)

  34. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladonna View Post
    But see Soulster, that's why I would be ideal, as long as they didn't violate the rules, I wouldn't treat any of the groups you've mentioned differently. I have the ability to separate my personal beliefs, feelings, biases, etc. from the duties of being a moderator.

    I've made my case; moving on ..
    Sure. Everyone believes that they would be 100% impartial. You have already demonstrated an agenda, and issues with Ralph. Mods have to get along too. I have made it clear that I have do not have a lot of patience with the Supremes fans who constantly claw each other's eyes out. I can deal with all those threads, but they all turn sour. That's a lot of work!

  35. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladonna View Post
    Ha, ha!! Girl, I have had a number of folks contact me in support, maybe they will make themselves known. They fear Ralph's bullying tactics.

    If you feel any dismay in my part, my darling ms m., most likely it stems from attempting to have an objective debate with so many who lack the ability to be objective. Waaaaaaa!!

    Now stop it; I will await Ralph's response. ;O)
    Uh...yeah! You call the boss a bully and then want him to hire you? Are you thinking?

  36. #86
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    ok....LOL....

    good luck ladonna....if you continue here at SDF, you're going to need it.
    Nite

  37. #87
    atcsm Guest
    I heart ladonna AND ms_m

  38. #88
    ladonna Guest
    Boss or no boss; I am honest. Some bosses admire a gal with spunk. Axe Lou Grant.

    Ms.m. presents a perfect example of what I would lobby against: veiled threats. Totally uncalled for, and add nothing to the discussion.

    Now, will y'all quit giving me ammunition, I wanna finish watching the Grammys. ;op

  39. #89
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    Ladonna, it doesn't really work that way in the real world, just on TV.

  40. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by soulster View Post
    Uh...yeah! You call the boss a bully and then want him to hire you? Are you thinking?
    As I said earlier, I thinks she is losing it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way this forum is managed and Ralph does an excellent job. Most people here are good people that just enjoying discussing and sharing information about the music we all love. Then you have a small group of people that want to start and keep trouble going. We all know it is usually confined to Diana Ross threads as funny as that sounds LOL! [[Diane can't catch a break I guess, hehehehe) but on the whole the rest of the forum and it's members get along fine. We don't need a change and we definitely don't need this self appointed [[ or is it self -important) LaDonna running anything here! That is my solid opinion after being a member here since 2003.....9 years!

    Marv

  41. #91
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    I wasjust passing through to acknowledge the passing of Whitney Houston when I happened upon this thread.

    Now I've been here since the end of 2003 & I've seen 'em come, I've seen 'em go. I've tried to defuse a few fights & have been smack dab in the middle of 3 of the,including "The Streets" which was pretty much one of the nastiest threads which ever existed here & given my history with Ralph, if Ralph was as biased as people are accusing him of being, certainly, he wouldnt have allowed...excuse me...actually suggested that a thread be created in which me, a few others, as well as himself would be blasted.

    Ralph allowed that thread to stand & having saved it, I don't recall him so much as censoring a word. You think that 'The Supremes" thread are bad!?!? There was NOTHING as bad as that thread...EVER! And even though Ralph,myself & a few others were being cursed, lied-on & called all sorts of names, despite others requesting that he delete it because it was getting out-of-hand, Ralph let that thread go for awhile & didn't ban anyone for even one word that they said against him. In fact, the only ban came following his wedding day for reasons which I won't revisit here.

    Despite that nasty thread, Ralph still extended olive branches to all involved, INCLUDING one who enticed others to lie. We know that people lied because all of it came out a year or so later elsewhere. Regardless, Ralph extended olive branches which were refused & they were refused despite the fact that those involved full-well knew that they were guilty of lying or defending a lie.

    Is Ralph perfect? To answer that, look into the mirror & ask the same question of yourself. Ask yourselves if there have been times when you could've handled things here differently that you did. Ask yourselves where there times when you could've tried to defuse a situation, but chose sarcasm & flippancy, therefore serving to escalate the situation. I've been guilty of doing so & would not deny that there were occasions where I could've turned the other cheek.

    We have forumers here whom have never gone out of their way to court arguments nor controversy & have traditionally risen above the nonsense. By the way, I don't include myself in that number. But whenever there's problems, its always the same names involved, or whatever incarnation they may be this time around on the forum. You can check the record & the archives & wherever the threads haven't gotten so crazy as to get deleted, you'll see the same names & the same folks tossing around accusations about who started the crap, even when the thread gives proof-positive that the one screaming the loudest is most often the one who threw the first stone.

  42. #92
    ladonna Guest
    I am pleased to hear that so many have had a positive experience interacting with Ralph.

  43. #93
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    I think that the most puzzling thing to me is why Ralph should have to treat grown folks, most of whom are over the age of 40 like a bunch of kids in elementary school to begin with.

    I live in a neighborhood where the police seem to have to "regulate" the peoples, for lack of a less offensive phrase. Personally, it totally pisses me off to think that as a grown man, I need ANYONE [[usually from OUTSIDE of my community) to "oversee" us, as though we're on some damn plantation & too damn dumb or ignorant to comport ourselves as intelligent adults.

    When I was at the P.O., I hated dealing with supervisors whom felt that they had to micro-manage & hover over people in order to get people to handle their business. Personally, I never had that problem but unfortunately & admittedly, there were too many people who needed to be watched. And though supervisors always left me alone to my own devices, it still offended me that folks had to act as overseers over grown folks.

    It would seem to me that the problem lies far less with Ralph & his moderating skills & so much more with a bunch of 7 year-olds who are obviously masquerading as full-grown 40 & 50 year-old adults. It seems to me those tendencies of the SAME people & CONTINUALLY, at that, is the problem & rather than addressing Ralph with this kind of stuff, could regulate themselves as though they were on the streets where retribution would most likely be fast, fierce & severe.

    I've said it before & I've seen this come to pass on several occasions...people simply should behave as though they're alone with their protagonist at 3 a.m. on the A-Train, where there's no cop, no instigator[[s) & no one to save them from their behavior. Stated simply, the internet makes everyone think that they're Mike Tyson.

    Reality is usually another thing entirely & if you wouldn't say or do something on a face-to-face basis, then you simply shouldn't do it here or anywhere because one day, you just might find yourself face-to-face & all of the screaming to Ralph won't help.

    Ralph IS NOT the problem here, because he played no role in the upbringing of folks whom while considering themselves to be civil, have proven long-ago that their self-appraisal & self-image is somewhat distorted & as far away from reality as the sun is to the earth.

    Just an opinion from one who's been here for nearly 10 years.
    Last edited by juicefree20; 02-13-2012 at 12:51 AM. Reason: spacing mistake

  44. #94
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    Juice wrote:
    "Stated simply, the internet makes everyone think that they're Mike Tyson.

    "


    BRILLIANT! Think about it.

  45. #95
    ladonna Guest
    Well, Juicefree, if Ralph would adhere to the rules and apply them in a consistent manner, much angst could be side-stepped. Sometimes we like to make simple tasks difficult; it makes us feel important. Again, the ego thing. Moderating a board is not that difficult.

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    Well, Juice, I left this forum for a few years due to personal/family issues, and the place being overrun with those obsessed Supremes people. That thread may have happened when I wasn't around. I wonder if it's still there so I can familiarize myself with it.

    I figured with the new forum software, there would be a new start with the slate wiped clean. That didn't last long.

    Quote Originally Posted by juicefree20 View Post
    I think that the most puzzling thing to me is why Ralph should have to treat grown folks, most of whom are over the age of 40 like a bunch of kids in elementary school to begin with.

    I live in a neighborhood where the police seem to have to "regulate" the peoples, for lack of a less offensive phrase. Personally, it totally pisses me off to think that as a grown man, I need ANYONE [[usually from OUTSIDE of my community) to "oversee" us, as though we're on some damn plantation & too damn dumb or ignorant to comport ourselves as intelligent adults.
    I don't know how many forums you visit, but you have to realize that bad behavior among middle-ages adults is not unique to this forum. It happens on virtually all of them.
    Last edited by soulster; 02-13-2012 at 01:02 AM.

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    And given the state of the world, I'm happy to be able to report some good news for a change.

    People are being bombed, losing homes, can't find jobs, so I'll simply ask all to understand why I simply can't get myself too worked up over a bunch of adults who choose to act their shoe size & not their chronological age,

    If THIS is how people deal with the real world, then I shudder to think of even one of them being charged with the responsibility of raising a goldfish, much less children to unleash on an unsuspecting world.

    What I'm saying is that I find it rather funny when people want peace, but spend so much time courting anything but peace & choose to continually run into the eye of the storm. After watching it year after year, I no longer get angry about it. I merely find it somewhat puzzling.

    I also don't like the practices of the Grand Dragon of The KKK, so as I don't agree with his policies, I wouldn't frequent any business[[es) or establishment[[s) which he owns. Which makes me wonder why people who don't like the policies of a particular establishment or would bother going there at all?

    It's like willingly going to a "T-Bar" and complaining should a stray nipple pass your way.

    Wouldn't make much sense, now would it?

  48. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by juicefree20 View Post
    And given the state of the world, I'm happy to be able to report some good news for a change.

    People are being bombed, losing homes, can't find jobs, so I'll simply ask all to understand why I simply can't get myself too worked up over a bunch of adults who choose to act their shoe size & not their chronological age,

    If THIS is how people deal with the real world, then I shudder to think of even one of them being charged with the responsibility of raising a goldfish, much less children to unleash on an unsuspecting world.

    What I'm saying is that I find it rather funny when people want peace, but spend so much time courting anything but peace & choose to continually run into the eye of the storm. After watching it year after year, I no longer get angry about it. I merely find it somewhat puzzling.

    I also don't like the practices of the Grand Dragon of The KKK, so as I don't agree with his policies, I wouldn't frequent any business[[es) or establishment[[s) which he owns. Which makes me wonder why people who don't like the policies of a particular establishment or would bother going there at all?

    It's like willingly going to a "T-Bar" and complaining should a stray nipple pass your way.

    Wouldn't make much sense, now would it?
    Wouldn't make a darn bit of sense! LOL!

  49. #99
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    All you have to do is look at our politicians to see that adults acting like kids is nothing unusual. If you worked with the general public, you see that the world is full of kids.

  50. #100
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    ....good to see you Juice, you and your post have been sorely missed. Hope all is well.

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