Site's Rules of Conduct?

ladonna · 02-10-2012, 04:33 PM

Is there a place on this Site that details how members are expected to comport themselves? If so, could someone direct me to that information?

Ralph? What criteria do you employ when deciding if a thread or a member gets zapped?

**ralpht** · 02-10-2012, 05:29 PM

Ladonna,
I believe there are some rules posted on the main forum heading page. Rules should not be needed if all posters would just follow simple codes of politeness and not attack one another for no good reason. I zap a thread when the conversation gets stupid and hostile. Same goes for a member. There is absolutely no excuse for some of the things that get posted here.
Admittedly, I am quicker to delete a post or ban a member than I was a while back. But you have to look at things my way. I'm not a elementary school teacher trying to keep peace on this board and don't choose to take the time trying to reason with someone that just wants to be idiotic.

**ralpht** · 02-10-2012, 05:32 PM

I just checked the home page and it looks like Lowell changed things when the site was updated. So....who needs rules? just be civil. So simple.

**ms_m** · 02-10-2012, 06:29 PM

It is simple but apparently some people don't understand simple or civil. I just received a call about a very disturbing post. It seems someone wasn't content with expressing dislike for an artist and his music but felt the need to insult and throw out ad homien attacks as well.

Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and it's understandable you may not like a song or an artist but you don't have to go out of your way to insult them on a personal level....and it definitely doesn't help your cause when the person you are attacking is a long time personal friend of mine, as well as a friend to many others on this forum.

There are a lot of new people that have gravitated to SDF and maybe they are not aware that over the years, many classic soul artist have stopped in to post.....they are getting to the point they refuse to do that anymore...why would any of them want to come to a place where they are being personally attacked and humiliated by someone they don't even know.

Ralph, you started a thread whereby people could promote new music and one of our members did just that...the artist was trashed and she wanted me to ask that you delete her thread about the artist. I would prefer you didn't do that. If people don't like it, they can ignore. If they can do better, then they should step to the plate and do it!

**soulster** · 02-10-2012, 08:33 PM

The forum I frequent more than this place is full of middle-aged audiophiles. It can get so bad there that they need tons of rules and at least fifteen round-the-clock mods just to keep them in line, especially the more disrespectful members.

It's been my experience that people really do want rules so they know where the boundaries are, because, some people just don't know. We're talking about grown adults! Many are just adult bullies, and victims who lash out. Unfortunately, we do not live in a world where most people are disrespectful.

As the forum grows, it will attract more and more varied types of people from all walks of life. Not everyone will be like-minded. Rules have to be in temper various personalities and disagreements. Imaging how this country would be if we did not have rules and the cops just said "play nice".

Just another viewpoint, Ralph. I also say this as a moderator of another music/audio forum.

**oldiesmusicfan** · 02-11-2012, 12:43 AM

Yes, the rules are still here -

Click on Join Forum at the top of the page to the right of the green box. Page down to the bottom, where you are required to read the rules and abide by them if you wish to become a member. Good rules, and when they are enforced the forum is a pleasant place to be.

I have suggested in the past that the forum rules be in a thread permanently at the top of the thread list. Maybe having the rules constantly visible to all would promote better behavior.

Oldies

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 01:34 AM

The problem is, is that people tend not to read the forum rules.

Each forum has a culture. For newbies, it takes time to assimilate to it. Sometimes, especially if you have just come from another forum, it's kind of difficult to change gears, so to speak. That's easy for those of you who only come to this place, but, for me, it can get rough because it is a much bigger bunch, the membership seems to be a bit younger than here overall, and most do not have real-life personal relationships with each other. This place seems to have a narrower scope of interest, meaning it's focused mostly on Motown, and many do not appear to have a wide range of interests.

Another place I visit are full of those with textbook knowledge of mixes, where to find what song on what CD, and the like, and do not discuss opinions. There, the members only deal with facts. The membership is small. On another music forum, no one gets personal at all, but it's filled with opinions. That particular one has many industry people on it and, again, the membership is very small.

I think this place, ten years old already, is still going through growing pains, which is healthy. The longtime members may resent the newbies coming in with their own agendas and style of interaction. They may long for the "old days" when it was just a few very-like-minded people who all kind of knew each other already. [[BTW, I am a longtime member but left for a few years when the first wave of stuff happened. I was not around for the big purge, as some have called it.)

I know some of you don't like me. I do not really fit in. I am relatively younger [[under 50), an audiophile, a techno/computer-geek, and have a totally different way of thinking about many things. I am not conventional and I am a social liberal. I dare to ask the uneasy questions. I am not a fan of any particular artist to the point of obsession. I am a lifelong fan of music, all kinds of music, and sound quality. I like to read about the technical innards of how our music was made. I already know the music and the songs, so I go deeper.

But, you know, there is no need for name-calling and cat-fighting. I had some issues with a few people here. Some of it was because of misunderstandings, some of it was because personal attacks, and some of it was probably just personality differences. But, I let that go, and I hope the other parties have also. For the most part, we stay out of each other's way. I certainly do not hate anyone here. To hate someone, you have to know them personally, and I do not know anyone on this forum personally. So, why this constant thing with Marv2 and Roberta '75, and others? I don't know what Marv was supposed to have done - no, I don't care - just as i'm sure no one cares about what happened between a couple of other people and myself. I would hope you all can work it all out.

I know I can skip the threads, but I really do with there was more here than just Diana Ross talk all the time. I try to think of thread topics for this forum, but every time I come up with something, I stop myself because I know no one will be interested. Sorry! I just had to get that out!

**Hotspurman** · 02-11-2012, 08:54 AM

Rules on a forum are bit likes terms and conditions - no one really reads them until such time as they need to check on something. I certainly didn't read the rules for this forum when I joined. I just assumed that I should treat other people as I would expect to be treated, be it online or in person. It is my way to be at times flippant and facetious, but I guess I'm like that in person too. So that side of my personality probably comes out in the postings I make. Overall, I'm here to improve my knowledge on Motown and its artists. I too don't like every artist that recorded for Motown, but I respect other people may hold them dear. Similarly, there are one or two tracks by my favourite artist, Stevie Wonder, that I cannot stand, but again I accept that someone, somewhere might have a reason to hold special memories of the songs.

What I've seen on the forum, from time to time, is a bit like some of the postings on You Tube. Have a look sometime - check on Millwall fans having a fight, then look at the comments from West Ham, Chelsea or other 'fans'. It's like a playground only with worse language.

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 12:02 PM

I'm simply saying that perhaps this place is too diverse now to just figure everyone is going to think the same and live by the same behavioral code. That's why it needs to be spelled out and enforced. Yes, it's a big job for one person who also has a life.

**arrr&bee** · 02-11-2012, 01:30 PM

If i may put in my two cents worth[in today's economy actually a penny's worth]we had better be very glad that there's a site like this one,i too have visited other[so-called]music forums and most of em are rough and even the fair ones are boring because almost no one is there,this place is heaven and we had better hope that no one idiot of group pisses ralph off to the point where he pulls the plug cause all of us real music lovers will be sad...if a post pisses you off then don't respond..soulful detroit and ralph forever!!!

smark21 · 02-11-2012, 01:49 PM

My take is that Ralph is not consistent in applying the rules and moderating members. Some members are on a short leash while others are pretty much given free reign. It makes me wonder what is the cause for this double standard? Is it based on whether someone gives money to the site? Or flattering Ralph? In many respects, what goes on around here is no different from politics. If you're in, whether it's through vocal displays of loyalty and flattery, or giving money, then you're in. I guess it's human nature...whereever people gather and congregate and organize, politics will happen.

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 01:50 PM

The thing is, most people do not report bad posts because they either want to see a big brawl, or they plan to participate in it.

Instead of just backing away from a thread gone bad, I think it's a member's duty to report issues. I report things.

Originally Posted by smark21

My take is that Ralph is not consistent in applying the rules and moderating members. Some members are on a short leash while others are pretty much given free reign. It makes me wonder what is the cause for this double standard? Is it based on whether someone gives money to the site? Or flattering Ralph? In many respects, what goes on around here is no different from politics. If you're in, whether it's through vocal displays of loyalty and flattery, or giving money, then you're in.

However, each case, or person, is different, and should be handled as such. It's like your children. Do you treat them both equally, or do you take their individual personalities, ages, and needs, and intent, into consideration. Even the law allows for these variables.

Moderating is not an easy job. Actually, the burden falls on the moderator. The moderator is the one who has to show the most understanding and consideration, much like the producer and his or her artists.

**tsull1** · 02-11-2012, 02:25 PM

I think this forum is moderated very well. Seems civil most of the time to me and I've met some friends here, which is rare for a message board.

The only thing I don't like is being told I have to like rap or overly-produced music because it's new, the latest thing, or I'm stuck in my ways, narrow-minded etc. Hey, if I don't like it, I don't like it. This is mostly a classic soul board, that's why I came here. I'm guessing there are rap boards and electronic music boards. If I don't want to greatly alter my musical tastes and keep listening to the groups I like, so be it. [[BTW, I do by new soul music, just not rap.)

**timmyfunk** · 02-11-2012, 02:52 PM

Call me old fashioned, but I never read any of the forum rules. I don't think that I need to read a bunch of rules when I already know the true meaning of civility. I've voiced my distaste for various forms of music, have engaged in spirited debates, but I've only crossed the line when others have crossed it with me. And even then, I believe I've done with enough civility to avoid being called out by Ralph. It seems pretty simple in my eyes.

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by tsull1

I think this forum is moderated very well. Seems civil most of the time to me and I've met some friends here, which is rare for a message board.

The only thing I don't like is being told I have to like rap or overly-produced music because it's new, the latest thing, or I'm stuck in my ways, narrow-minded etc. Hey, if I don't like it, I don't like it. This is mostly a classic soul board, that's why I came here. I'm guessing there are rap boards and electronic music boards. If I don't want to greatly alter my musical tastes and keep listening to the groups I like, so be it. [[BTW, I do by new soul music, just not rap.)

Well, that has nothing to do with what we are talking about here. What you are talking about is something different. What we are talking about are insults and sarcasm, the kind that usually erupts when talking about certain members or a certain singer.

I do think you have a right to be closed-minded about music.

But, it is in poor taste to outright bash another person's taste in music.

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by timmyfunk

Call me old fashioned, but I never read any of the forum rules. I don't think that I need to read a bunch of rules when I already know the true meaning of civility. I've voiced my distaste for various forms of music, have engaged in spirited debates, but I've only crossed the line when others have crossed it with me. And even then, I believe I've done with enough civility to avoid being called out by Ralph. It seems pretty simple in my eyes.

This is what I am getting at: everyone draws the line at different points. You do need some rules to point out where the moderator draws it. Where you think the line is may not be where, for example, tsull1, considers the line to be. That's what i'm saying. There is no one place that everybody just somehow "knows" where it is. This place is getting too diverse for that. You have people from at least three different countries, different ages, cultures, races, sex/sexual orientation, and classes, all on this one little forum. Some people are personal friends outside of this forum, some have never met face-to-face. And, everybody comes here for different reasons with slightly different interests. Yeah, i'd say this place needs some written rules and we need to read them.

The bottom line for me is as long as no one personally attacks another person, which means berating or insulting, this place will do fine. But, some people live that way in real life, so they still need rules to tell them where insults start.

BTW, ladonna! Good thread. I think some of the best threads are the ones where people can air out their complaints and differences. They may be a distraction and go against the spirit of a forum, but they do help, in my experience.

**timmyfunk** · 02-11-2012, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by soulster

This is what I am getting at: everyone draws the line at different points. You do need some rules to point out where the moderator draws it. Where you think the line is may not be where, for example, tsull1, considers the line to be. That's what i'm saying. There is no one place that everybody just somehow "knows" where it is. This place is getting too diverse for that. You have people from at least three different countries, different ages, cultures, races, sex/sexual orientation, and classes, all on this one little forum. Some people are personal friends outside of this forum, some have never met face-to-face. And, everybody comes here for different reasons with slightly different interests. Yeah, i'd say this place needs some written rules and we need to read them.

The bottom line for me is as long as no one personally attacks another person, which means berating or insulting, this place will do fine. But, some people live that way in real life, so they still need rules to tell them where insults start.

BTW, ladonna! Good thread. I think some of the best threads are the ones where people can air out their complaints and differences. They may be a distraction and go against the spirit of a forum, but they do help, in my experience.

Let's be real here. There are some individuals on this board who try and come off like the smartest persons in the room and are very antagonistic towards other forum members. Would life on this board be better with them? Probably. But even then, I've never thought that anyone should be banned from this site even when they're being that anti-social. I've never read the Bible to the degree that I would use it to outline my behavior. My upbringing dictates my behavior. This is why I've never read the forum rules. Civility, when you break it down, has no geographical limitation.

BTW, I'm not disagreeing with your post, Soulster. Just kinda adding to it.

**ralpht** · 02-11-2012, 04:14 PM

Smark,
I just try and call them as I see them. I try not to play favorites and deal with everyone on an equal footing. If you see things otherwise, I can't do anything about that, but apologize for not being able to please all.

**oldiesmusicfan** · 02-11-2012, 04:27 PM

It seems no one has noticed my post above where I answered the question about whether there are any forum rules or not. Ralph seemed to think that they were eliminated when the new format of SDF began. So, here they are and they can be found when you click on the Join Forum link at the top of the page, then page down to the bottom of that form. And I will again state that it would be helpful to have them floating at the top of the threads like the few promotion threads that are up there now, maybe titled "Please Read These Forum Rules Before Participating." This way Ralph can refer to them [[where they are posted for all to see every day) each time someone cannot control themselves.

In order to proceed, you must agree with the following rules:

Forum Rules

Registration to this forum is free! We do insist that you abide by the rules and policies detailed below. If you agree to the terms, please check the 'I agree' checkbox and press the 'Complete Registration' button below. If you would like to cancel the registration, click here to return to the forums index.

Although the administrators and moderators of Soulful Detroit Forums will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this site, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of Soulful Detroit Forums, nor vBulletin Solutions, Inc. [[developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message.

By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws.

The owners of Soulful Detroit Forums reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any content item for any reason.

Oldies

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 05:49 PM

I remember these...

dayum sam...err body in the "street thread" from back in the day should have been outta here...oops...I guess they are.....LOL

Thanks Oldies I saw your post and I do remember reading them a millions years ago [[so it seems) when I joined but I hadn't seen them for awhile. I agree, they should be posted somewhere permanent but to tell you the truth...they leave things pretty wide open and back to the discretion of the moderator and self governing of members... some people say things without any malice whatsoever but others take it a different way....some things are pretty obvious and not open to interpretation and then again others things are not...guess that's why these places need moderators....someone has to be the final guardian of what is what. I don't always agree with Ralph's decisions and he knows this but I'm a guest here...he has the final say and I accept that. If I don't like it...my problem and no one else's. My issues is the way people talk about the artist....I don't think it's cool to come to a MUSIC forum and insult artists whose music you rave about...something just seems wrong with that picture to me. You can dislike something and state that without making comments about them personally....at least that's how I see it....the rest of the stuff said around here....shrugs....it is, what it is.

Hope all is well Oldies...wish we could have hooked up back in Dec...next time though.

**ralpht** · 02-11-2012, 06:05 PM

Oldies,
Thank you for posting the rules. I think common sense is represented in the parameters, but it doesn't always seem to work that way.

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 06:36 PM

By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws.

Well, you guys disagree with me, but I think the rules are are a bit too vague.

Timmyfunk, you say your behavior is a result of your upbringing, but you have to remember that everyone was raised differently!

Once again, I have a different opinion than the majority of this forum. That's the way it is, I guess.

**ralpht** · 02-11-2012, 07:04 PM

Opinions are what matters here, Soul. Problems arise when some take their respective opinions a little too seriously and forget there is more than one side to any issue.

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by ralpht

Problems arise when some take their respective opinions a little too seriously and forget there is more than one side to any issue.

And, unfortunately, that's how most people are.

Maturity is the ability to accept an opinion different than our own without berating a person for it. It is possible to explain why a person's position is disagreed on without personally attacking that person.

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 08:10 PM

This is one of those issues that will never be fully resolved by everyone, the way everyone wants it to be......

I honestly can't think of anything I have ever said on this forum that was,

obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening

...YET....I bet there are dozen or more people on this forum who believe otherwise.

We all know now, there are rules and they are posted but the bottom line is this, Ralph is the gatekeeper....he makes the decisions....we can disagree with his decisions, agree with his decisions, like them or not but he's the boss...the godfather so this will always come down to him...I can live with that, it seems to me, the real question is....who can't?

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 08:13 PM

I take that back....I did tell everyone on the forum once, doing or around the time of the street thread debacle to KMA [[that was vulgar) and I also apologized for it and admitted I was wrong....needed to keep myself honest....LOL...

**soulster** · 02-11-2012, 08:20 PM

I have also said things that could be interpreted as obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, or threatening. The trouble with the written word is that there are no facial cues to help us evaluate a person's intent or demeanor. Some people are quite sensitive, while others seem sociopathic.

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 08:53 PM

I started this thread because I have witnessed with my own two eyes that this site is not administered in a consistent manner. I mean, it comes as no surprise, the administrator didn't even know the rules, or if the even existed. I have also witnessed inconsistent treatment and favoritism from Ralph towards members, and it has bothered me. This is why I raised the topic. Ralph stated that he didn't want to feel like a disciplinarian, I would beg to differ, I think he enjoys it and is a ego trip for him. I don't think it is that difficult to moderatete a site. Rules should be established, and should someone deter from following the rules, they should be warned, if they continue, they should be banned. To my mind, this would alleviate Ralph being called upon to make these decisions arbitrarily, to what appears to me, on a whim, and often times, IMO, unfairly. For example, there was one member, I believe her name was Hula Girl, a huge Michael Jackson fan, who obviously had mental health issues. Ralph came down on her very hard, using bullying tactics, and eventually deleted her account. I felt terrible about this for days. Yes, Hula Girl was out there; however, she was harmless. I couldn't help but wonder how sheetmust have felt being ostracized due to a condition that was beyond her control. Should we also ostracize cancer victims
Yes, Ralph, I am calling you out; I have also been a benefactor of your bullying tactics, and it did not feel good. In fact, it stopped me from participating until now. I wonder how many others do not participate, because they don't know how the will be treated from day to day.

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 08:59 PM

Again, please forgive the typos ..

The other thing I wanted to add is that I felt terrible about how Hula Girl ws treated, because I bet her entire life, has been one of exclusion.

I raise these topics, Ralph, not to make you angry, but for you to consider your behavior, and. to encourage you to improve your moderating skills if you feel there is room for improvement once you have considered some of the things I've shared.

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 09:18 PM

Wow, I'm going to defend Ralph on the ego charge, I don't see that one at all....I see a a few other things but not ego....LOL.

Ladonna, I understand how you feel and I've seen others make similar charges against Ralph and I can tell you from personal experience, Ralph and I have not always agreed and we have had our "moments" but this is a forum and on forums you're subject to the decisions of the person running the place. Don't mean to sound harsh but that's the nature of these types of places.

Whether I agree or not with the decisions Ralph makes, all and all he's done a hell of a job with ALL the stuff he has had to deal with and I've been here since 2005. I have seen my share of crazy..heck just dealing with emails about me has probably given him more grey hairs than necessary...hahaha

Let me get back to this I just heard something I need to check out.

**marv2** · 02-11-2012, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by ladonna

I started this thread because I have witnessed with my own two eyes that this site is not administered in a consistent manner. I mean, it comes as no surprise, the administrator didn't even know the rules, or if the even existed. I have also witnessed inconsistent treatment and favoritism from Ralph towards members, and it has bothered me. This is why I raised the topic. Ralph stated that he didn't want to feel like a disciplinarian, I would beg to differ, I think he enjoys it and is a ego trip for him. I don't think it is that difficult to moderatete a site. Rules should be established, and should someone deter from following the rules, they should be warned, if they continue, they should be banned. To my mind, this would alleviate Ralph being called upon to make these decisions arbitrarily, to what appears to me, on a whim, and often times, IMO, unfairly. For example, there was one member, I believe her name was Hula Girl, a huge Michael Jackson fan, who obviously had mental health issues. Ralph came down on her very hard, using bullying tactics, and eventually deleted her account. I felt terrible about this for days. Yes, Hula Girl was out there; however, she was harmless. I couldn't help but wonder how sheetmust have felt being ostracized due to a condition that was beyond her control. Should we also ostracize cancer victims
Yes, Ralph, I am calling you out; I have also been a benefactor of your bullying tactics, and it did not feel good. In fact, it stopped me from participating until now. I wonder how many others do not participate, because they don't know how the will be treated from day to day.

Yeah, well I am sure you must have felt bad about Mj4evah too! He/she had some major issues too, but that is not Ralph's or the forums problem. We are not mental health professionals! The problem is not at all how this forum is moderated. The problem is with these guys that come here with these made up personas that are not here to discuss the music, the artists or other current discussion topics. The problem is when a specific group of folks use personal attacks on other forum members if they don't agree with something such as worshipping Diana Ross and Ralph has to get involved in those threads, you guys want to faint, fall all over the floor and start disrespecting him by saying that he is not a good moderator. He is an EXCELLENT moderator. We are all guests here or have you forgotten that? There are some people that moderate forums such as this one that would have just gotten rid of everyone and turn the forum into an "invitation only" set up!

I know from experience that some on here [[I can list everyone of them) that if you say or post something they don't like or agree with, they form their little cyber lynch mob and try to jump all over you with a bunch of stupid personal attacks. If I or anyone says anything other than worshipping Diana Ross then you become a target. I know you all know what I am talking about when you can go look for yourselves at the "Motown Forum" and find at least 20 different threads with Diana Ross being subject. Everything from her receiving an honorary Grammy to her grocery shopping habits! They have made a conscious effort to try to turn that area of the forum into a Diana Ross Fan club. They know completely well that there are a few of those elsewhere on the internet, but that's not good enough. They worship that woman so much that they want to force it on others. Ok enough of Diana Ross fans.

LaDonna, you always sound like you are so unhappy here. Why do you keep coming back? There are a number of people that I know that have been banned for various reasons that keep rejoining this site under new aliases. That tells me more than one thing. The main thing it says to me is that Soulful Detroit is an excellent internet music discussion board which is why they keep coming back. It is excellent largely in part because of RALPH! If he were different they you would like him to be, then Soulful Detroit would not be the same great place that it is. The only acrimony I ever see or experience here is when it comes to these over the top, die-hard Diana Ross fanatics that would cut their own mother's throats over this woman, this singer.

Marv

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 09:44 PM

I explained why I come here on another thread, Marv2; sadly it was deleted; for reasons I still don't quite understand.

**P-Shark: The Revenge** · 02-11-2012, 09:48 PM

Hula Girl is not banned
http://soulfuldetroit.com/memberlist...name&order=asc

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 09:52 PM

Maybe it was someone else; the facts remain the same, P-shark.

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 10:17 PM

ms.m? With all due respect, I respectfully disagree. I personally have been the benefactor of Ralph's bullying tactics, and was called "annoying" for merely expressing my opinion. If being "annoying" is not allowed, perhaps this should be added to the rules. Of course, annoyance, not unlike how this site is administered is, once again, arbitrary

Now, I'm curious enough the things you've noticed? If you are reluctant to put it out there, could be mistaken, but you m

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 10:18 PM

I could be mistaken, but your reluctance to do so may very well be making my point.

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 10:28 PM

lawd love a duck...why does everything center around two Supremes or off shoots of the two Supremes...and folks wonder why Ralph is the way he is....

yo Ralph, I'm about to make a batch of dirty martinis, going to use some of Jai's special brew...you want one? LOL...

...and just so you will know...whether you make me happy, glad, mad or sad, [[sometimes) you are cool with me and I appreciate the work you do.

I'm out!

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 10:33 PM

No I'm not reluctant I just don't see the point ladonna. I really do believe that the moderator should have the final say... I can agree or disagree but I believe the choice on how this place is run is up to the man in charge.

Lowell owns this place...it's his money that keeps this place running and I can tell you it's not cheap and if you look around you'll notice no ads run to help to offset the cost like you see on other sites

...I doubt if that many people actually donate to help with that so that means Lowell has majority ownership and he has put Ralph in charge of his investment. He gets to call the shots....I dig that whether I agree with how he calls those shots or not.

**ralpht** · 02-11-2012, 10:36 PM

Pour me a big one, Ms.M. This place has driven me to drink. And, just for the record: you were always my favorite sparring partner so long ago.As John Wayne would say, "Girl, you got sand!"

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 10:37 PM

you got it...I made it extra dirty......cheers

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 10:40 PM

I agree; whomever owns/moderates this board should be in charge; however, if the have an interest in maintaining a board where all members feel welcomed and respected, rules should be established and adhered to by ALL, members, moderators, and owners alike. Of course, this may very well not be their intent. If it is however, achieving this goal would not be that difficult. This is my point.

**chidrummer** · 02-11-2012, 10:41 PM

ladonna, I've met and known Ralph and many other people on this forum for years now and I have to tell you ego has nothing to with his moderation style. This forum is huge. Three different sections plus an achieve. Its impossible to see everything and be everywhere at the same time.

If you think Ralph's pulled the trigger on someone a little too quickly, believe me that was past EXPERIENCE making that call, not whether he's been flattered by anyone. Ralph has had to ban people from the forum that he's known a long time. It wasn't easy and it damaged some of his friendships. He did it at the time because it was the right thing to do. Did you know he's also left the door for many of these folks to come back? All he asks is that we behave like the grown men and woman that we are. As long as I've been here [[since 2003, I think) Ralph has always simply tried to act in the best interest of the forum. You can't ask more from a person than that.

**ralpht** · 02-11-2012, 10:42 PM

Ladonna,
This board has survived 10 years. I think we are doing something right. Every week I approve approximately 25 new members. So what is your beef?

Ms.M,
Ahhh, the dirtier the better. Thank you.

**ralpht** · 02-11-2012, 10:44 PM

Thank you Chi for your words of support. Much appreciated.

ladonna · 02-11-2012, 10:44 PM

Ralph,

Sorry I mentioned it. Back to Lurking status.

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 10:46 PM

anytime Ralph, anytime!

**ms_m** · 02-11-2012, 10:58 PM

I could be mistaken, but your reluctance to do so may very well be making my point.

hahahaha...oh dear, you really don't know me that well do you? LOL

Reluctance has nothing to do with it Ladonna, it really doesn't. I honestly don't see the point of nitpicking every decision Ralph has made.

I'm sorry you have felt you were not welcomed here and I mean that sincerely. I don't know the history between you and Ralph. A lot of stuff around here I've learned to simply ignore but I can say this....with all the different personalities Ralph has dealt with in the years I've been here...he's done one heck of a job from where I sit. He's made mistakes and he's owned up to mistakes but all and all....I'm glad he's the one in charge.

**soulster** · 02-12-2012, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by ladonna

Again, please forgive the typos ..

The other thing I wanted to add is that I felt terrible about how Hula Girl ws treated, because I bet her entire life, has been one of exclusion.

I raise these topics, Ralph, not to make you angry, but for you to consider your behavior, and. to encourage you to improve your moderating skills if you feel there is room for improvement once you have considered some of the things I've shared.

Uh...wow. I suppose you could do better? Moderating is a HARD job! Ralph has been damn good considering he's the only one.

smark21 · 02-12-2012, 03:42 PM

Has Ralph ever considered adding a second moderator to shoulder the work, especially at times when Ralph may be too busy on his music to spend much time here?