How Come .... [[?) SDF Members !!!!

**ralpht** · 10-07-2011, 02:45 PM

Thank you Ollie. That was very kind.

**moe** · 10-07-2011, 02:48 PM

KDub & MsM thanks for your words. Another thing I noticed is that Stubass isn't on here as much as before, either. You can't play golf at night, Stu [[unless you invented lights for the golf course LOL).
What I miss is Paulie3 Shoes giving someone something that "fell off the truck." And Chet Finkley reporting it through a War & Peace Novel by Juice! With Dyva on the side saying she can cook better than 1Wicked!!

**soulster** · 10-07-2011, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by paladin

@Soulster, I never thought of SDF as a small or out of the way place. The diversity of opinions and depth of knowledge of the posters is what lead me here and dictated that I stay.....it was a new but familiar world that opened up to me and my interests.

But, it was/is small on a relative scale. Smaller forums tend to have a very focused, somewhat like-minded membership. As it grows and becomes more diverse, problems develop with people having wider differences of opinion. Small groups are usually able to handle these differences in a civil way. You have your squabbles, then you make up and continue. But, when new people join up, there is less of a "family" atmosphere that gradually occurs, and the gloves are more likely to come off. It's easier to insult and be contemptuous toward someone you have not taken the time to know.

When a forum grows, you inevitably get more trolls, people who cause trouble for their own warped entertainment. They may create hot-button issues or sign up with multiple identities and argue with themselves, anything for a laugh. problem is, it's not funny to all who are serious about discussing things.

On this forum, there are those who are naturally drawn to this forum because it is Detroit soul music, which means for the most part, Motown, and that means a certain group or artist will be discussed to death! But, I do not understand why this particular group of people are so obsessed. It turns off a lot of other forum members.

Me: I come from general music and audiophile forums where disruptions are less likely to occur. Things do get heated, but they work themselves out. One forum I frequent has no fewer than fifteen moderators! The membership there is huge, and the members frequently get out of line. But, with so many mods, the problems are nipped fast, as in literally seconds! The downside is that none of these forums discuss much soul music. On that huge forum, of which a few SDF members are also members of, because it's so huge, there is a somewhat less of a personal feeling. Since most don't know each other, it is best to stay impersonal. Snarky remarks to other members are removed, because if they remain, it will cause bite-back. And, unlike this forum where people tend to clam up and stay away, members tend to pile on there. Then entire threads have to be scrubbed, locked, or removed. The mods do not publicly scold members because that causes hostility.

I also am one of four mods on a specialty audio forum, believe it or not. There are rarely any issues, as the forum is small with a close-knit group of members with a very common interest. Topics like politics is allowed, but no one goes there. People want to keep the peace.

I once commented here about the average age of the members here, but I think Ralph removed it for some reason. I honestly do think that plays a role in the culture of this place.

What I like discussing are audio issues, industry topics, a wide variety of music and recordings, and sometimes politics, race, and religion. I lean progressive/liberal, not religious, and am a Black man, and do not hide it. I grew up in a rural area in the 60s and 70s, and listened to a LOT of Motown as a kid, among almost everything else that was out there.

**soulster** · 10-07-2011, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by BobC

Ralph--I'd hate to be a moderator on a Supremes forum. I'd probably end up banning everyone. I wonder if Beatles forums get this bad?

I am on a forum where the vast majority of members are HUGE Beatles fans. It gets a bit crazy, but it is also controlled. If too many Beatles or Beatles-related threads pop up, the threads get locked until the threads balance out.

**soulster** · 10-07-2011, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by ralpht

Kdub,
Speaking of the Juice...Anyone hear from him lately?

He pops in from time to time but mostly lurks. hes work gets in the way of posting here, but he has also said that he gets tired of all the stupid Supremes/Diana Ross/Mary Wilson cat-fighting that goes on here. He speaks for a lot of members.

**daddyacey** · 10-08-2011, 02:05 AM

"The Juice" ,as I understand has personal issues of family and other interests that he is applying his energy to. I know that he is monitoring the going on's at SDF to an extent , but he is one of the seniors that has seen the ,how should I say....trend of redundance and poo-poo in the conversation that has been going on in the forum and ,as I have come to respect and know the extent of his intellect from his postings understand that he has come to the point of not posting ,unless he has been inspired enough to have something to say. Much like E.F. Hutton . There are a number of us here who know and understand this position and in fact feel his presence in spite of his silence. [[Wasup J !!! )

**snakepit** · 10-08-2011, 12:17 PM

For my part I rarely post these days.
The origins of SDF celebrated Detroit Soul Music [[Northern Soul mostly). Obviously it branched out to other areas of Soul Music. Most early interest was from rare Soul fans in the UK, who covered many topics. USA membership grew and expanded..all most welcome..
Things changed, SDF branched out....
The creation of the Motown Forum was welcome for the many Motown fans.
Then came the flood of Supremes correspondence.
Many SDF members could see where this was heading.........the mass exodus of Motown fans who want to discuss other issues.
I, amongst several Motown fans, requested,indeed pleaded, for a separate Supremes forum.
It never happened....and now many, many ex SDF members have lost interest.
Just check the archives for the missing names AND the quality of the posts
I tried to explain that it as becoming increasingly a waste of time posting Motown threads as members were leaving in droves.[[Remember many of these members also contributed to the main forum)
So we are left with the situation today, causing gee tee's concern.
Sad but entirely predictable .[[As I did on numerous occasions)

**bankhousedave** · 10-08-2011, 12:41 PM

'We look before and after. We pine for what is not.' That's from Ode to a Nightingale, but I heard it on Rumpole of the Bailey.

The prophet Isiah is probably as old as me by now, and Paulie might be feedin da fishes, but the same core of ol' timers is still around. There's still enough of us to keep several breweries and R&B's still working full time. Maybe we just need to talk more. Look back in the archives. There's a treasurehouse there of times when we used to jaw all night. We haven't said it all, by a long ways. Must be some loose threads in there someone could reactivate. Even the Supremies bitching is a sign of life. I look and lurk more than pontificate at the moment because I'm so busy doing whatever it is I'm doing. But I'm always out there. Stubass will tell you that.

**snakepit** · 10-08-2011, 12:53 PM

"Rumpole of the Bailey"......that was a great album

"That's from Ode to a Nightingale, but I heard it on Rumpole of the Bailey."

**ralpht** · 10-08-2011, 01:06 PM

I keep noticing the criticism of the Supreme threads and the trouble caused by them. I can't disagree with any of this criticism, but what would the membership want me to do about this? If I were to ban any threads dealing with this, I'm sure I could be drawn and quartered. If I leave it be, I get idiots posting vile things that, once I have noticed, or it is brought to my attention, I deal with it ASAP. Meanwhile, some of you complain that there is nothing to talk about. What the hell are you looking for? We have a multitude of new members that bring to the table a host of interesting topics to discuss. Bear in mind, this forum is free. No charge to participate. So I'm asking all of you. What would you do to improve things here. Don't suggest a separate Supremes thread, because that would turn into a disaster and I would be dealing with more grief. So, tell me. What do you guys want? I'll try and accommodate reasonable suggestions.

**soulster** · 10-08-2011, 01:51 PM

Well, actually, I think these obsessed Supremes fans have their own little forum, but they come here, probably because it is so chaotic there. So, I guess they figured they'd take over this place. One person has told me these stupid arguments are created by one person with multiple accounts and who starts arguments with himself. I suppose, unless they are using dynamic IPS addresses to avoid detection.

I suggested that when the Supremes/Ross/Wilson threads become too abundant, temporarily close some of them. The problem is that the rabid fans will just start more in retaliation and will keep you busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. Therefore, I do think creating a Supremes section is an answer, but you aren't going for it. And, you can't ban outright Supremes discussion because they are part of Motown.

We, the membership, could try to start more threads about other topics. I tried that, but few people are ever interested in them. One guy had the nerve to say my topics were boring and geeky. I guess he's rather talk about the Supremes too.

This crap with the Supremes was the reason I left the first time.

Maybe this place should be renamed "The Soul Forums". That way, the members would be encouraged to discuss more soul music than just Motown. Or, rename the sections as something like "All Things Motown", "General R&B Discussion", "Clubhouse", or "Off-Topic", and, finally, the "Supremes Snakepit".

**skooldem1** · 10-08-2011, 01:59 PM

Here we go again. Ralph, here is a suggestion. Wouldn't it be easier for those who are so annoyed at the Diana/Mary/Supremes threads to just stay out of them? That way you don't have to worry about segregating anyone by creating a separate forum, and those who think those threads are nothing but trouble, they save themselves from nothing but heartaches.

**snakepit** · 10-08-2011, 02:00 PM

Regarding the Motown Forum, the majority of the UK posters have a "Corporate" view of Motown, and that means interest in all aspects of the Company.
We just do not have the "cultural" feelings that so many USA members have......The Supremes were NOT that big a issue in the UK. We grew up with "The Motown Sound" brand.
Most UK fans tend to buy, collect and follow ALL aspects of the label.
The continuual bombardment of Supremes threads turned MOTOWN lovers away.
Now , there are so few UK fans left, that there is now little point posting....
Look at the response to the magnificent post re HDH recording techniques [[virtualy nil) to the post regaring Mary Wilson being Lena Horne!
Suggestion? Rename Motown Forum the Supremes forum [[it virtualy is now)and the rest can decmp to the main forum,

**BobC** · 10-08-2011, 02:09 PM

Ralph--if no one's said this lately--thanks for the great forum. My complaints are very minor and have nothing to do with you. I happen to really enjoy this forum.

**ms_m** · 10-08-2011, 02:14 PM

I think it's too funny this seems to be turning into a, let's bash the Motown/Supremes thread...just goes to show, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

**ralpht** · 10-08-2011, 02:22 PM

Well. I know that the trouble makers come from someplace else. All they have to do is start blaming Marv for everything and they have shown their hand to me. Then it is zap time. I'll keep doing whatever I can to make SD a cool place to hang.

**soulster** · 10-08-2011, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by snakepit

Regarding the Motown Forum, the majority of the UK posters have a "Corporate" view of Motown, and that means interest in all aspects of the Company.
We just do not have the "cultural" feelings that so many USA members have......The Supremes were NOT that big a issue in the UK. We grew up with "The Motown Sound" brand.
Most UK fans tend to buy, collect and follow ALL aspects of the label.
The continuual bombardment of Supremes threads turned MOTOWN lovers away.
Now , there are so few UK fans left, that there is now little point posting....
Look at the response to the magnificent post re HDH recording techniques [[virtualy nil) to the post regaring Mary Wilson being Lena Horne!
Suggestion? Rename Motown Forum the Supremes forum [[it virtualy is now)and the rest can decmp to the main forum,

Snakepit, the U.K. members are really not much different than the U.S. members. We love all things about Motown, and in the 60s, people were not obsessed with the Supremes as this forum's membership would have you believe.

When I was growing up, Motown was a sound, a brand. It's these current Supremes fanatics that confuse the issue here.

**marv2** · 10-08-2011, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by soulster

Snakepit, the U.K. members are really not much different than the U.S. members. We love all things about Motown, and in the 60s, people were not obsessed with the Supremes as this forum's membership would have you believe.

When I was growing up, Motown was a sound, a brand. It's these current Supremes fanatics that confuse the issue here.

These people thrive on making personal attacks! That is what they are here for. They brought with them from other forums a lot of crap that they plan to continue here at Soulful Detroit it seems. Discussing the music and the artists are not even secondary to them.

**phil** · 10-08-2011, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by skooldem1

Wouldn't it be easier for those who are so annoyed at the Diana/Mary/Supremes threads to just stay out of them?

Seems evidence to me.

uptight · 10-08-2011, 02:58 PM

Ralph, I wouldn't suggest you do anything more than what you have been doing. If long-time members are leaving, it is not because of some stupid DRATS threads. It is more likely that they have outgrown SDF, have seen the cycle of the repeating topics over the years, or have moved on with life's changes.

But I agree with Soulster. If you lock certain threads, rabid Supremes fans will only create more threads. If we don't like those threads, we can ignore them.

**BobC** · 10-08-2011, 04:21 PM

Yes you can simply not read the Supremes threads--true--but I happen to find the Supremes story fascinating. Mary's book sparked my interest in Motown's story. I just wish people wouldn't get so nasty because it gets to be a drag. My introduction to a Motown forum years ago was when I started a thread asking which Supreme did fans think had the best voice. I was instantly attacked and told I was trying to start a fight. I was baffled at the time--but now I "get it." I am in my 40's so Motown's golden era passed me by, and nobody my age or younger knows or cares about Motown. This forum is the only place I have to talk to people about this subject.

Okay--I'm done with this issue.

**paladin** · 10-08-2011, 04:37 PM

Wow, but whoa.... this is exactly the type of thread that used to get me so pumped up about SDF in the first place. Snakepit, Bankhouse, Doug, Ms. M, Moe, Soulster, Marv, Skooldem, GT, ......and everybody else, what the hell is this a Family Reunion ? I've said before that surely the Supremes belong here but I guess Ralph has done all that he could do about them. I've ignored them but I look in from time to time and I guess the the activity that goes on in them can certainly get offensive and appear to be on another forum all together.

I believe, no I know ,that the lack of civility, name calling and other attacks have always kept me from participating even when I wanted to jump in. Sure I've ignored them but does that mean that they have to become part of the fabric of the forum ? I don't know what the answer is, but I bet that if I locked you guys up in a room for an hour you'd figure it out. Somewhere along the line, we didn't school the new kids and old members forgot that we used to have rules....right, things change, people come and go, but I must say that the lack of some of the senior members performing "gut checks"[[ read reality checks ) may have lead to an over abundance of wackiness and surely failing to post in dissent or agreement on certain topics could have also diminished some of the quality of the forum.

Call me old fashioned if you must but I truly miss the people that were the bed rock of this forum and when the intelligent, respectful and humorous discussions were par for the course, not an aberration. This was a place primarily for adults but kids could come on and be totally amazed.

One other thing if I may, I absolutely, positively hate trolls, or people who post the most "inane topics' just to get a rise out of people. Its not that they don't have anything to say, I abhor the fact that they could care less about the music, artist, writer, etc, they just want to get off by pretending that they are not as smart as they really are and then some of us get duped into responding and pontificating without ever knowing what that person really meant. In the old days, when ever someone posted, they usually said they were new and asked the question... if this subject was worthy of discussion? If not a forum member would ask the person that posted to clarify their question or response so as to appropriately address an issue. Now folks just read what they want "into" a comment and its blabber, blabber, yada, yada nothing and the person that started the thread becomes conspicuously absent.........makes you want to go hmmmmmmm.......other wise folks it's great to see you all talking again.......

**bankhousedave** · 10-08-2011, 04:46 PM

I never had a problem with the Supremies, for the very reason that there were only certain threads that I visited. It must surely be the case that the more people there are on the forum the less important the squabbles and dramas in that area are. None of it means that the various members of the Sups cannot be also discussed sensibly. It was a top rank brand, and all members were also of the highest calibre. Any competition is in the minds of the observers. My remark about them being a sign of life above is about not editing out things you don't want to hear. If you do that in life, you wind up alone in protected accommodation under the medico-chemical cosh. Bring it all on.

**tamla617** · 10-08-2011, 06:17 PM

i breeze over the supremes threads alot of the time 'cos i know they'll head straight to the scene of an accident.but thats me,i dont like the idea of thread lock out.ralph's hammer can sort out the bad apples.i dont understand the content of some threads can lead people to leave or stop posting on sdf.not all threads deserve an answer either although a polite thanks for posting wouldnt go amiss.
i wasnt here at the begining,only about 3/4 years,so i dont know how good it was before that.all i know is that i do enjoy coming here.

**soulster** · 10-08-2011, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by marv2

These people thrive on making personal attacks! That is what they are here for. They brought with them from other forums a lot of crap that they plan to continue here at Soulful Detroit it seems. Discussing the music and the artists are not even secondary to them.

That's right! I wouldn't mind those Supremes threads if it weren't for those personal attacks. Nothing brings a forum down quicker than the personal attacks. It does no good to ignore them because they don't stop. There are several forum members who can't seem to post anything without making a snarky remark, no matter how they disguise it.

Ramone Verona · 10-08-2011, 07:17 PM

Isn't amazing how marv1,2,3,4 tries to pretend that he isn't the Queen of attacks.....and is "one of the good guys" when the idiot has been called out HUNDREDS of numerous times for behavior here and yahoo and you tube and AOL and by Mary Wilson and by Scherrie Payne and by guests on MJ's radio show?! Yet we lose valuable members like boyfromcrosstown, who not only helped the Velvelettes to get re-established but also various "best of" releases as well as the "Anthology" set?! A valuable moderator gets rid of a discussion BEFORE it goes sour....not after it's infected EVERYONE! marv was the guest at the party who was never man enough to excuse himself after it was obvious HE was a recurring problem for the forum and the moderator. marv just stayed and stayed at the party because of an enormous EGO! Such typical boy, such typical child, behavior!

**marv2** · 10-08-2011, 07:20 PM

Originally Posted by Ramone Verona

Isn't amazing how marv1,2,3,4 tries to pretend that he isn't the Queen of attacks.....and is "one of the good guys" when the idiot has been called out HUNDREDS of numerous times for behavior here and yahoo and you tube and AOL and by Mary Wilson and by Scherrie Payne and by guests on MJ's radio show?! Yet we lose valuable members like boyfromcrosstown, who not only helped the Velvelettes to get re-established but also various "best of" releases as well as the "Anthology" set?! A valuable moderator gets rid of a discussion BEFORE it goes sour....not after it's infected EVERYONE! marv was the guest at the party who was never man enough to excuse himself after it was obvious HE was a recurring problem for the forum and the moderator. marv just stayed and stayed at the party because of an enormous EGO! Such typical boy, such typical child, behavior!

I don't know who you are , but you had better quit slandering me.

Marv

Ramone Verona · 10-08-2011, 07:36 PM

You are nuts!

**marv2** · 10-08-2011, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by Ramone Verona

You are nuts!

Now this a prime example of the personal attacks I mentioned earlier. I don't know this person, have never communicated with them before and they take it upon themselves to slander me for reasons known only to themselves. This is wrong and has no place here.

Ramone Verona · 10-08-2011, 07:47 PM

OH! So YOU KNOW everyone in the media that's ever been pointed out for they're behavior and that's the only time "it's wrong"??! Because YOU personally KNOW them??? WHY is it ALWAYS YOU that's being pointed out??? FOR NO REASON??????
You Are Nuts!
Sweep yourself under the rug, marv.....whine and cry "it doesn't exist and has no place here.....boo hoo!"

**ralpht** · 10-08-2011, 08:47 PM

How the hell does this happen? Well, Ramone now sleeps with the fishes, so to speak.

**ms_m** · 10-08-2011, 09:23 PM

lawd love a duck...I can't believe how this thread is turning out.

I'm going to give 2 more cents and then I'm back to work....the CD is doing well if anyone cares but anyhoo...

Ralph, when I first came to SDF in 2005, there were rules of conduct posted. Maybe it's time to put those rules back up but....I think a guideline would be in order as well. I say that because, if asking if someone is nuts, is considered offensive....this forum has more problems than I could have ever imagined and if SNARK is seen as a personal attack, lawd help me, cause I should have been banned 6 years ago.

There have been things said on this forum that were way over the line and overlooked...hell...I probably said some of them.... and then there are silly things that got people zapped with the fishes...what's up with that Ralph?

As moderator you have total discretion over this forum and it's members and I get that and respect that but maybe the lack of participation has to do with not knowing what can be said and who can say it....again, I'm just sayin'

...come on folks we are suppose to be SECURE adults....some things just aren't worth getting your panties in a bunch over.

**JimBagley** · 10-08-2011, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by ralpht

How the hell does this happen? Well, Ramone now sleeps with the fishes, so to speak.

I wish Ralph. Ramone who was Elegant Soul who was Just Seven Numbers who may have been mean to folks under other aliases will surely sign up again under another name until he is kicked off again.

**ralpht** · 10-08-2011, 09:52 PM

I'll keep my kicking shoe on, Jim.

**ralpht** · 10-08-2011, 09:53 PM

Ms.M,
I'm not sure that not knowing what or what not can be said here is the problem. I think it just boils down to simple manners, and some people are woefully lacking. Besides, what the idiot said wasn't some silly little thing.

**ms_m** · 10-08-2011, 11:22 PM

Well I guess it's just me Ralph....it seemed pretty tame to me. Especially when you think about some of the things that have been said around here but oh well... you gotta do, what you gotta do...cool by me....so... moving right along...

I'm sending you something in your SDF email you and Al may be interested in. May help you guys with airplay.

**soulster** · 10-08-2011, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by ralpht

Ms.M,
I'm not sure that not knowing what or what not can be said here is the problem. I think it just boils down to simple manners, and some people are woefully lacking. Besides, what the idiot said wasn't some silly little thing.

An official statement of forum rules is a great idea. Create some boundaries.

**ms_m** · 10-09-2011, 12:36 AM

Hope that link helps Ralph but I do have one more thing to say on this and then I'm really through [[I hope...LOL)

I've ended up with a lot of very good and close personal friends on this forum and one of them is Oldies....but check this out...we actually got to know each as a result of an argument she and I had on this very forum.

Bobby Eli said something I thought was funny as hell, Oldies thought it was offensive and we went at it...but here is the thing, she acted like a secure adult and so did I....and although we disagreed we actually listened to what each other were saying...before it all ended we were laughing in the middle of the argument and that's how we became friends.

I've had some SERIOUS disagreements with Juice...we're still good friends, with Des and he's my little brother from another mother, I've had it out with Kdub and Dyva...they need me I'm there and I've even disagreed with Jai and he's my man of the year forever...my point being.....people don't always agree, so what...people are not always polite...and?....but when people actually LISTEN to one another instead of getting all defensive about what is being said...they can work through their differences....or they can whine or get huffy. The choice is what makes or breaks a conversation..it's what determines ...imo...how a situation can stay in or out of control.

Most people have home training and manners Ralph, probably for some, more so in the real world than the virtual world but..heck...sometimes the situation doesn't call for manners but when secure adults act like secure adults....there is less zapping and more self moderation ....and folks get over their issues and move on instead of carrying them around for the next 10, 15, 20 years....???? Maybe it's time all folks concern let that sht go.... ALL folks not just one side.

NOW...I'm really out.....LOL

**ollie** · 10-09-2011, 03:53 AM

Fuzzy Haskins sang:
We got to see in ourselves, what we think we see in others.
Meaning:
If you want the 'other' to do the best, 'you' got to do your best.

To fight and disagree is the 'easiest' thing in the world.
And these days a lot of people are fighting against each other without any good reason.

Everybody against each other or one group against the other group, is the modern worlds credo.
And if you fall for it, that kind of behaviour only brings cash to the corporate world, and power to
some ugly politicians. It wil bring nothing to you, but the feeling of failure.
If some lonely internet warriors enter this forum, and hi jack sdf to display their firm conviction
about music or life, you have the option not to respond. But if you do, then give it the best you got.
And with that i mean, you don't get into a fight or bad discussion.
Peace & Love to all of you.

**bankhousedave** · 10-09-2011, 05:06 AM

Here's all the evidence you need. A brief plummet into the depths of idiocy - now we're right back at the heights of wisdom, which is the real key to the survival and success of SD. To paraphrase the great Yogi, 'Smarter than the average forummer'. I share Ollie's sentiments and, like Ms M, have learned a lot and made good and lasting friends from all-out debates around here. There's more wisdom on this forum than in any three governments I can think of.

**tamla617** · 10-09-2011, 09:10 AM

i dont want to know who said what on another website,we're on sdf and whats said on sdf is the only thing people should be thinking about.like the now banned elegant,ramone,just 7 numbers was banging on about.i'll give anyone a chance until they say something thats beyond the pale.but he [[i thought he was a she!) came here to post just to wind up and derail a really good thread.what ever happened to "go along to get along"?

ms_m said something about we are supposed to be secure adults,wish it was true.some that have been on here are "adults" that should be secured.

i really hope the boy from xtown comes back here quick,he always adds something to sdf.he was a definate read for me when he posted.

**ralpht** · 10-09-2011, 10:58 AM

Ms.M,
Do you really think that that clown, Ramone's comments to Marv were not all that bad? I must disagree. That moron just came on and attacked Marv for no reason. I will not put up with that from anyone.

**ms_m** · 10-09-2011, 11:19 AM

i dont want to know who said what on another website,we're on sdf and whats said on sdf is the only thing people should be thinking about.

The irony in that statement cracks me up.....I distinctly remember someone bringing something from another forum to SDF that was extremely offensive to many of us here and racial in nature. Ralph didn't have a problem with it, as a matter of fact said he didn't think it was any big deal...to this very day I disagree with him but I'm not holding on to that sht as if my life depended on it.

What we want, and what others want will not always be the same....but in an adult world, you learn to find a way to compromise or move on where you can get the things you want 24/7....and good luck with that because even if it were possible, your life would be boring as hell.

Ralph, considering the condescending and racial remarks I've heard on this forum...NO, I don't think what was said was anything significant....but you're the moderator and as I've said before, the fact I disagree with some of your choices is not something I'm going to loose any sleep over or bring into our next conversation.

Since the day I arrived here I've said I'm the type of person who will get pissed, get over it and move on....that's how I roll....the people that have become my aces around here, roll the same way.

**ms_m** · 10-09-2011, 11:45 AM

...and just for the record, for all of those folks that have not become my aces, or even speaking buddies, so what? Virtual people or even real people everywhere on the planet were not meant to be your friend....I can live with that.

Tamala is correct, not every person is a secure individual but that's the reason sht gets crazy on the net and in life....until each and everyone of us can look inside ourselves and change our sht....getting pissed 'cause someone else will not change theirs is an exercise in futility! The one thing we all can control is how we choose to react to a situation....make the wrong choice...and you're fighting windmills [[other people) for life.

**ralpht** · 10-09-2011, 11:50 AM

Ms.M,
at times I'm not sure if you and I are reading the same posts from Ramone, but I will always respect you and your opinions.

**soulster** · 10-09-2011, 11:53 AM

One should not be allowed to "go off" on other members for no valid reason. That's not being an adult. However, if someone goes off on me, I am likely to take it up a notch or two. Show me respect, and i'll show you respect.

Making snarky remarks toward other members is the chicken-shit way out. I'll be blunt: some time ago, I made a political post. Out of nowhere, Ms. M attacked me personally in a very harsh way, unprovoked, I might add. I responded with an even nastier post...or two. I don't know what she posted after that because I put her on ignore. Ralph stepped in and removed all the offending posts. I never got an apology or anything from Ms. M.

Destruction is another long-time member who has bashed me twice for no reason whatsoever. I never said anything negative to the guy. Ever!

My point for bringing it up? It is not the kind of behavior that should be allowed among adults.

**ms_m** · 10-09-2011, 12:11 PM

Grow up Soulster...there have been two people on this forum I attacked harshly and I called both of them racist. White folks hate being called racist more than anything in life....although I did downgrade one to bigot and that didn't go over well either but oh well....many of those conversations were deleted by Ralph but any conversation he deleted between you and I is news to me...you have a VERY INTERESTING way of rewriting SDF history...but hey...do you.

**ralpht** · 10-09-2011, 12:14 PM

This is becoming a rather cathartic thread, don't you guys think?

**ms_m** · 10-09-2011, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by ralpht

This is becoming a rather cathartic thread, don't you guys think?

LOL...I like the way you put that Ralph. LOL

**paladin** · 10-09-2011, 12:24 PM

One should not be allowed to "go off" on other members for no valid reason.

Thats about the only thing I agree with you on.

I'm not too sure about the definiton of snarky, but M, will always fess up to being snarky which I don't equate to bashing or harassment.

Des is a very intelligent person whose posts could rival that of Brad Meltzer.

You yourself said both of you were being nasty, so why should anyone apologize ?

The threads are gone but you bring them back up and you're still mad?

You put M on ignore yet you're commenting on her posts ...OK

Believe me I'm not asking you a question, but after you percieved that someone went off on you, you took it up a notch or two ........sounds like you're calling the kettle black Soulster but at least you got stuff off your chest........and since I have no idea of what the heck I'm talking about.......I hope I haven't offended you......