Just a chime....or??

[Jerry Oz]

Wow. That takes things to a completely new level. I'm wondering now if you're what the doctor ordered for my mental illness or what he demanded that I avoid.

Nicely played, my friend. Nicely played!

[westgrandboulevard]

Thank you, Jerry.

The Motortown Revue could be given a whole new life in the 21st Century - or is that exactly what we're already doing...

[Jerry Oz]

I guess. I wish that I'd stumbled upon this forum years ago. I've read about its glory days and think that it's unfortunate that attitudes and hateful words contributed to so many members deciding that it just wasn't where they wanted to spend their time. Of course, the subject for the forum - soul music [[remember that stuff?) - almost requires many members to pass on due to natural reasons. Soul music is now a niche format instead of a staple of popular radio. With that said, I like conversing with like-minded people. This thread is proof that [[yes, Rodney) we can all get along.

[moe]

I've been here for a long time, gentlemen. I've seen a lot of people come and go. I've seen too many discussions get to the boiling point. But, it's the many people I've met here & the MUSIC that keeps me coming back.
I do hope I get an autographed copy of any book that develops!!

[westgrandboulevard]

I have to say I'm never totally convinced when people maintain that they or others no longer come on SDF because of how certain other members conduct some of their communications.

It's only words. If I'm entitled to submit an opinion here, others may do likewise, even if they do make their responses in different styles. Seems to me that things only really get a bit rowdy when defensive behaviour quickly leads to hostile and knee-jerk comments being made. Not too much different from some TV shows.

I think a lot of people do have other things to do with their time. I expect that a lot of 'old' members do check out what's happening on SDF, but without signing in, or posting any thoughts. There are always far more guests viewing than actual members signed in. That's not really what the forum is all about, i.e. to share, but still there's a potential for them to 'return' any time they wish.

Jerry, I think the overall style of soul music has over the decades been absorbed to a large degree into popular music, but I agree that the sixties classic recordings are becoming a niche format, as a natural progression. They are 'old', and their devotees are growing older, but it's good to hear the music used in film soundtracks, probably more than before.

Moe, if any book were to develop, I would hope you would be heavily featured - so it certainly should be you autographing it

[arrr&bee]

This forum is legendary because ralph has attracted the most knowledgeable folks ever assembled one one music forum to discuss-argue-leave-come back-and discuss some more the music we all love.

[westgrandboulevard]

Bees to a honey pot.....

[moe]

At least you came through with one lucid stement, R&B!!!!

Westgrand, LOL!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Ahem....

'Everyone here is speaking the same language, but we do arrive at our meaningful destination by taking some very different routes.'

[[Pheeeewwww! If you'll now excuse me, there's a dark room somewhere with my name on the door. I may be gone a while. Written compliments will be most welcome. Please slide them under the door. Thank You.)

PS. But if anyone does find where the hooch is stored, hit that door immediately.....

[Jerry Oz]

Great points were made by all. It's good to know that although I've seen people overreact to statements made by others, most are pretty cool. It's too easy to ignore the vitriol of people that I don't even know and will never meet in person, especially when there is a topic that I'm enjoying. I hate seeing it hijacked by 40-60 year old children who all know better, so I ignore them. Not just that, but on this page alone, there are kindred souls who are more than enough reason to visit every day.

[westgrandboulevard]

Now Jerry, that's what I call 'positive' - !!

Our days are spent coping with hassles and problems as they come along, some of which are concerning and, at times, distressing.

Good or bad, people will differ from us at times, but it's important to quietly keep faith with ourselves.

Days are also best spent enjoying what we have, not what we once had but lost, or what we fear we may never have.

Anyone who wants to start a fight about what may or may not have happened long ago, and to someone they don't know, is not quietly making the most of themselves, today.

It's hard always to think like that - I find it so - but it's for the best.
[[that dark room's calling again....LOL)

[Jerry Oz]

"Anyone who wants to start a fight about what may or may not have happened long ago, and to someone they don't know, is not quietly making the most of themselves, today."

I suggest that perhaps they are making the most of themselves. Sometimes, we find ourselves mired in a depressing cycle and we have to share that pain with the world that caused it. For whatever reason, we cannot express it to the source of our problems, so we lash out at whatever and whomever becomes conveniently available. And who is better to belittle than someone, sometimes literally, on the other end of the world? That person is not likely to get you fired or physically retaliate against you for the bile you just posted, so the act of being an asshat is therapeutic. It transfers your anger to someone else - who gives a bloody damn if you just ruined his/her day? Screw 'em, right? Sometimes, that person is actually making the most of himself or herself, because they don't believe there is much worth other than how much pain they are able to endure or inflict.

Wow, after posting that, I believe I've found a dark room of my own...

[arrr&bee]

at least you came through with one lucid stement, r&b!!!!

Westgrand, lol!!!

yeah and that's the last time i drink meds from a straw..got me all lucid over here!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

I can see an intravenous drip is verboten, then....

[moe]

Goods points by all!! Sometimes I just don't take myself too seriously and laugh. I know when to "buckle down."

[Jerry Oz]

I have too much to worry about away from my computer screen. In the end, it is just not too much to worry about when people get stoopid and want to argue. In the words of Sweet Brown: AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

[westgrandboulevard]

Keeping my eyes on what I want to do, trying to see it's right, is as much as I can manage, at least at times. No, I also won't get into arguments for the sake of it, for the same reason - no time, and no benefit.

I'm no good at endless political debates which go around in circles, for example...

[Jerry Oz]

The folks on this thread are probably more lovers than fighters anyway. I can only imagine how a contentious debate would go:
Jerry Oz: Perhaps you're correct about the fact that Berry Gordy spells his first name "Berry" instead of "Barry" because his mother enjoyed strawberries, but I believe that the maternity nurse's sloppy handwriting may just as well have contributed to it being spelled that way.
WGB: That, of course is a possibility, although you don't have any proof. I'm afraid I have to disagree in this case.
Jerry Oz: Most unfortunate, indeed.
moe: Perhaps you are both right. Or wrong. Maybe his mother meant to spell it that way.
Jerry Oz: Ouch. Somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?!
WGB: No need to be so aggressive. I'm heading to the dark room.
arrr&bee: Bell just rung! Hooch is cooked!

It's just as well that we get along. There's no need for hurt feelings...

[westgrandboulevard]

Interesting scenario Jerry!

My own first thought would be if Berry G. himself had ever been known to confirm how he received his name.

On that particular subject, since I couldn't prove it either way, I'd accept as reasonable what you say Jerry, for believing that it was a result of the maternity nurse's sloppy handwriting. Some people pronounce Barry to sound like Berry. You would certainly have the right to believe what you believe , and for reasons and circumstances of which I have no knowledge. The story always went in our own family that one of the ladies from two or three generations back was to be named Dora but, due to an error, became Nora. Difficult to know if that was actually true, or not.

Then Moe's practical suggestion that his mother wished to spell it that way would sound quite plausible, too. I would think a mother or father should know.....

It's always possible for two or more people to voice their opinion. Getting along at least politely should be the norm, so there should be little need for hurt feelings. The clashes do seem to occur when one person verbally attacks another, often for simply differing from a perhaps long-held opinion which is very dear to them.

[Jerry Oz]

It never ceases to amaze me that relationships oftimes are ruined when one person takes offense to something that another said and demands an apology that he doesn't receive. Too many times, the offending party didn't intend to slight his sibling/parent/friend/relative and you have a rift that lasts for decades. I've seen it happen and I've been caught up in it [[I'm usually the unintentional offender).

I certainly have zero issues with apologizing even if I meant for the statement to be heard in the way that it was taken. But if I'm going to have a lifelong relationship ruined, it won't be because I want to ruin it. So sad...

[westgrandboulevard]

I wonder if relationships are like plants.

Each has the potential to be beautiful, long lasting and worthy of admiration - but if placed in the wrong setting for them, they just don't thrive and flourish....

[Jerry Oz]

Good analogy. In another sense, you can prune a plant and control how it will look when it matures [[look at Bonzai trees for example). If a child is treated with anger and violence by his or her parents, it's likely that he or she will gravitate toward that sort of dysfunctional relationships as an adult. You can tell the tree by the fruit that it bears and sadly, it can take generations to change some fruit from bitter to sweet.

[moe]

Yes, but not too much watering please, HAHA!

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes moe, that's true - some do seem to need far more liquid than others!

On Jerry's point, even in one lifespan, it's concerning to contemplate just how long it takes a child, who has been treated badly, to learn to trust anyone.

And how do they recognise who they can trust, if they probably don't or can't trust their own judgement....

[144man]

My father's parents were always arguing. Instead of taking them as role-models, he decided that his children would have a happier childhood than he did. There is always a choice.

[moe]

144man, I just attended [[as you know) a conference. JRMartinez was one of the keynote speakers [[who is JR Martinez? Google him). He kept stressing that "Life is all about the choices you make." I couldn't agree more.
And once you make that choice you have to deal with your choice. Yep!!!

[Jerry Oz]

My father's parents were always arguing. Instead of taking them as role-models, he decided that his children would have a happier childhood than he did. There is always a choice.

My dad drank heavily. Still does, when he can get my mom to help or his arthritis to cooperate. I had enough run-ins with him in my young adult years that I swore off the juice. I can't go down that road with my loved ones. My brother also is a non-drinker. Dad slowed down and I have not seen him to be drunk in years. It is indeed a choice, whether we realize or not.

[westgrandboulevard]

There were drinkers among the males in earlier generations of my family, too. They died much too young, but there may have been other causes, some of them indirect - effects of war, for example.

We just have to want something enough, to make a change happen - and hopefully it's a positive choice, of benefit to us, not a negative one fuelled by compulsion, depression and addiction.

On a trivial note, I like cheese, but it seems to give me headaches, yet only sometimes. So if I want it enough, I just have to make sure I have painkillers to hand !!

We pay for everything, don't we.....

[Jerry Oz]

In that regard, I stopped eating meat more than a month ago. I still eat fish a couple of times per week, so I'm not a vegetarian as many people want to believe [[although that may be next for me). I can honestly say that I haven't wanted any meat since I stopped, contrary to all of the horror stories about others who had cravings when they tried. I'm even confident that when the holidays roll around, I'm going to enjoy my mom's greens, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy, and dinner rolls without breaking down and eating the ham or turkey.

I still haven't replaced the missing protein from my diet, though, so I have to figure that out... But you're 100% correct in stating that if you want it enough, you can make changes in your life.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, there's a huge gulf.

On one side, there is being interested, clear and aware of what we need and want, and then doing something about it. A tough climb, but with a positive result as the most likely outcome.

On the other, there is simply sitting around, focusing on what we don't like, and doing no more about it. No climb, no effort, no forward progress, and only a negative result as the outcome.

PS. Best address the protein deficiency quickly, Jerry, or you may start being tempted to try more carbohydrates and extra calories, which might increase your weight, or LOL, depending on your point of view!

PPS. How would you define 'Soul Food' - ?

[Jerry Oz]

My definition of 'soul food' is fare that was typically served by African-Americans [[originally in the Southern USA) after Reconstruction. Most of it was based on what was available, especially chicken [[fried in lard), greens, corn bread, and beans [[especially black-eyed peas). The list is much greater than this, of course, but those are the first four things that come to mind. I could add almost any part of a pig to the list, so long as it's either fried or otherwise horrible for your health. [[BTW, if it doesn't taste great, it's not soul food. There's got to be a yin for the yang, after all.)

[westgrandboulevard]

Couldn't agree more. If something is supposed to be good for me, but doesn't taste good, it's no good.

I have a copy of an Edna Lewis cookbook which is on my 'to study' list.......

[144man]

Moe, I googled JR Martinez, and what he has achieved is very inspirational.

[144man]

I had a blood test last week and there was a message on my voicemail to phone the doctor.

Apparently it's nothing to cause immediate concern but relates to the lipids in my blood, and no doubt when I see the nurse tomorrow I shall receive a ticking-off. I eat healthily except for too much cheese and too many cream cakes. The main problem is probably lack of exercise as I can't walk as much as I did before I broke my hip.

It seems that I shall have some choices to make.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well 144man, one more damn thing to remind you that you're not 21 any more.

Let us know how it goes, and you know you can discuss your choices with us here.

And moe, J. R. Martinez is indeed inspirational, and seems to have walked a similar path to our own Simon Weston.

[Jerry Oz]

I really need to buy a treadmill. I don't eat much, but I really need to exercise much more. And 144man, it will all be fine. Do what the doctor tells you so you don't have to see him again any sooner than you want to.

[moe]

Jerry, get your protein from beans, lentils, eggs, fish, chicken. Although beans are an excellent source of protein & fiber they do have the carbs.
For lack of a treadmill get out and just walk. Doesn't cost much.
JR Martinez was one of the most inspirational speakers I've heard in a long time!! I have a pic of both of us. He not only stopped to chat/autographs/pics before the lecture [[I followed him down the casino hall when I saw him walk in) and he stayed after to do the same.
Stay away from the doctors.......you never know when you'll run across one!!!

[Jerry Oz]

Thanks for the advice, moe. But chicken is off of my menu for now. I remember watching and hearing a lot about JR Martinez when he was on "Dancing With the Stars". It's been my experience in life that you earn a lot of capital by having the right attitude and he affirms that point beautifully. He seems like a genuine guy and I hope his spirit catches on with many others.

[westgrandboulevard]

I think a positive spirit is in most of us, to a degree, when we are very young.

It can easily become obscured by the 'stuff' that happens in our life. All too easily, so seems to take a while to backtrack and find the real 'us' - and start again...

moe, any chance of letting us see that photo?!

Jerry, best of luck with the treadmill. I don't fancy that idea for myself....

144man, walking and talking with a friend is good. Anything which can be made a goal for yourself or with others, but also involves a little gentle exertion [[even housework, although understood that's not so easy when one has endured a broken hip) works well.

[144man]

How are about this then? My cholesterol is lower than last time, and I've lost a bit of weight, so I must be doing something right. Not smoking and only drinking in moderation helps. I've had strict instructions to lay off the cheese though.

None of us are getting any younger. I hear that another World's Oldest Man died recently. This is beginning to look suspicious...

[westgrandboulevard]

By the whey, why the cheese, exactly?

[moe]

144man: good for you!!!
Some follow a high protein, low carbs diet [[eggs, lovely cheese, meats, fish, fowl, all allowed) and servings of vegetables [[broccoli, cauliflower, etc). Due to this diet your total cholesterol may, indeed, be higher but other parts of blood work show reductions in other things. This type of diet isn't for all [[no diet is) but it has its fans [[myself included). It also cuts out unnecessary sugar so insulin levels remain constant. And some experts are now pointing the finger at "sugar---bad."
I couldn't give up cheese!!!!!!

[Jerry Oz]

144man: good for you!!!
Some follow a high protein, low carbs diet [[eggs, lovely cheese, meats, fish, fowl, all allowed) and servings of vegetables [[broccoli, cauliflower, etc). Due to this diet your total cholesterol may, indeed, be higher but other parts of blood work show reductions in other things. This type of diet isn't for all [[no diet is) but it has its fans [[myself included). It also cuts out unnecessary sugar so insulin levels remain constant. And some experts are now pointing the finger at "sugar---bad."
I couldn't give up cheese!!!!!!

Wow. I have one thing to say about you, moe:

[westgrandboulevard]

Just to share, my own diet is very similar to moe's suggestion.

The basis structure is to keep up the fluids at all times. First thing, I have a mug of warm water and lemon juice, followed by a mug of tea [[sometime decaffeinated, sometimes not) - then a protein breakfast. It can be bacon and eggs, ham, smoked salmon with lemon juice [[I buy the offcuts), that sort of thing. It stops me wanting to nibble on something sweet like a chocolate bar, although I do nibble from time to time [[coffee and chocolate. MMMM)

Mid morning - a mug of coffee [[I like it strong, with milk) with some mixed nuts. I mix them myself, keeping the ones with the most fat to a lower proportion, plus some dates.
It helps to follow up any coffees and teas with equivalent quantity of pure water.

Lunchtime, something with protein - chopped ham perhaps, or chicken, tuna etc mixed with light salad [[lettuce, tomato) - or in the colder months, soup, with added protein pieces - ham, chicken etc. Another large mug of coffee, followed by water.

Nuts and dates mid afternoon, with mug of tea.

Evening meal, similar, with more salad.

Just a balanced diet. I'm not diabetic, but do have to cope with blood sugar levels dropping quickly, so need to keep them well maintained. Keep vegetables up, keep the carbohydrates and starch in the diet but under control, keep an eye on fresh fruit eaten [[good for your energy, but even the natural sugar can add extra calories).

If I want to lose a bit of weight [[I just lost a quarter of a stone) I cut out bread [[cuts down bloating, but also cuts out the butter I put on it!), also cakes and biscuits, but still had a piece of cake when I felt like it [[but only when....) - cut out pasta and cut down on potatoes. I do eat cheese anytime I think my head might tolerate it [[!) but [[despite all the talk of 'hooch') can't take too much alcohol, although a nice wine is to my taste.

When I've dropped to the right weight, I then introduce all the things I like, but which might have 'empty calories', and just try to keep them under control. A little like when I was young - the choice of food available wasn't as plentiful and, because of that, I think we were all a bit slimmer!

A high protein diet, and regular eating [[little and often) prevents feeling of hunger, and a greater sense of wellbeing.

[144man]

I'm not that scientific.

I just try to have as varied a diet as possible. I haven't taken sugar in tea for years, and I never add salt when a dish is served. I use skimmed milk and low fat spreads, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and try to avoid too much red meat or too many eggs.

I've forced myself into eating more reasonably sized portions by using smaller plates.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'd never actually thought of my diet as 'scientific' but perhaps it is. If I don't have a 'plan' to follow, I tend to get engrossed with something else, and either not eat enough, or too much of this and that.

No, I've not taken sugar either for a long time, although I did substitute honey for a while.
Stopped smoking around 40 [[years, not per day!)

I do use butter instead of margarine. Some of the 'low fat' foods seem to have strange things added to make them tasty, to compensate for what has been removed.

I do find it helps if I eat slower. That way, I don't take too much extra before my body tells me 'enough!'

[Jerry Oz]

I have significantly increased the amount of fruits and vegetables in my diet this year. I was never much of a salad man until recently. Now, I enjoy fruit for lunch everyday and salad with dinner [[sometimes for dinner). I still manage to eat potatoes about once per week, which is a particular vice that I would like to lose. Without exercising much, I have lost 20 pounds this year. Sadly, I had much more than that to lose.

[144man]

Salad is great, and you can be surprisingly adventurous with its components. I often use raw cauliflower. However , a low fat dressing is advisable. Honey & mustard is my favourite at the moment.

[westgrandboulevard]

Potatoes once a week hardly sounds excessive, Jerry!

What you're doing seems fine, and also sounds as if you're on a reducing diet, before making some changes to your maintenance diet. And it's definitely working for you!

I guess you've had to face just how any excessive weight came to be there in the first place, and the word 'sadly' indicates the possibility of a little guilt/regret. Join the club LOL

[moe]

Like I said: there is no "one" diet that works for everyone. If there was then everyone would shed those pounds. However, I can't agree with using low fat dressing. Not good on a low carb diet [[look at the contents and the values)
Why is it that men lose faster than women?