SIR,THE LOCAL FUNERAL PARLOR[MR.EMBALMERS DEAD MAN'S LOUNGE AND PIGFOOT PIT]HAS SWORN OUT A WARRANT FOR GRADY'S ARREST,IT SEEMS THAT IN THE MIST OF THE HOLIDAY CELEBRATIONS GRADY WAS CROWNED[HONORARY KING OF DA HOOD]IT'S A HONORARY THING DONE EVERY YEAR,BUT GRADY HAD ONE OF THE DANCIN PIGSFEET TROT DOWN TO THE FUNERAL PARLOR AND[BORROW???]A SOLID GOLD CROWN FROM THE HEAD OF A NEWLY ENBALMED MEMBER WHO IT TURNS OUT WAS A HEAD OF STATE IN THE AFRICAN COUNTRY OF-RESEMBIA...SO NAMED BECAUSE ALL THE NATIVES RESEMBLE ONE ANOTHER..[LEGEND HAS IT THAT THE FIRST CHIEF HAD 500 WIVES FROM THE SAME FAMILY]ANYHOW WHEN IT CAME TIME TO PLACE THE CROWN IT WAS GONE UNTIL GRADY WAS SEEN WEARING IT AT THE PARADE WHICH SOON TURNED INTO A POLICE RAID BECAUSE NOBODY HAD A PERMIT TO PARADE AND LILBITS BROKE THE NO DISTANCING RULE BY JUST BEING WITHIN 6 FT OF EVERYBODY AND WEARING NO MASK,SHE SAYS THAT SHE WAS WEARING ONE BUT IT WAS JUST THE CRUMBS FROM THE THIRTY SEVEN APPLE CRUMB PIES SHE ATE,ANYHOW IT SEEMS THAT THE ONLY THING TO STOP AN INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT IS IF YOU SIGN A LETTER OF CONTENT STATING THAT GRADY KNOWS YOU,GRADY SAYS THAT HE KNOWS NOTHING OF HOW HE GOT THE CROWN AND SAYS THE DANCIN PIGSFEET WERE ACTING ON THEIR OWN,HE OFFERED TO SEND THE TINY AFRICAN NATION SOME OF HIS INFAMOUS COYOTE RIBS AND COBLESS CORNBALLS..UPON HEARING THIS THE LEADERS OF THAT NATION ORDERED ALL BORDERS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE,NOW THE ENVOY WHO WAS TO RETURN HOME TODAY IS STUCK IN DA HOOD WITH NO INTERPRETER..LUCKILY DUUFUSS SPEAKS IN TONGUES SO AS SOON AS HE'S LOCATED,HE MAY BE DOWN AT THE BOTTOM END OF DA HOOD DIGGING FOR CONTAMINATED GLOW WORMS AT THE INDUSTRIAL WASTE DEPOSITORY AND SANDCRAB JOINT,THIS COULD BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT SIR WHICH MAY DRAG ON INTO YOUR ADMINISTRATION SIR..BUT AS SOON AS YOUR LETTER REACHES THE CHIEF HE MAY RELAX AND PERMIT THE DONATION[37.50]THAT WAS COLLECTED AS A GIFT TO YOU..[IT WAS ALL THE PEOPLE HAD IT'S A SMALL COUNTRY]BUT IF ANY LEADER CAN HANDLE THIS MESS IT'S YOU SIR,WITH YOUR POWERS OF PERSUASION...[and that nice donation]I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOUR ALWAYS GOOD JUDGEMENT,THANK YOU SIR AND KEEP RUNNING!!