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Thread: Just babblin!!

  1. #101
    Cool beans! But don't tell them where I live because I stole a chicken foot from her about five years ago and went to the casino with it. And it worked that night, too because I almost broke even and although I lost my shirt, I got to keep my jacket. Since then, she's been looking out for me with that one good eye. I knew it was her right eye, so I pay a kid to tap her on the left shoulder every time we're in the same room with each other. She said that the chicken foot retails for $4.98 but I know that's a lie because I sold it on eBay for $2.25 when I left the casino. I probably should have given it back to her but I needed the $2.25 for bus fare to get there and once I sold it, there was nothing for me to give back. I offered to give her a duck foot after I ran over a Mallard a week or so later and she started swearing in Gypsyese or something. She already had it in for me, though because I cracked a joke on her at a picnic once and she didn't have a comeback. She uttered a curse that my first-born son would be lame and her grandson started walking with a limp soon after. I told her it was a coincidence and that I was sure her son was the kid's dad but he popped up on Lauren Lake's Paternity Court and pretty much proved that he wasn't. So thanks for the help, Partner! But please Please PLEASE don't let her know my whereabouts or she's gonna curse me with child support.

  2. #102
    VERY GOOD SIR,DON'T WORRY I GET AMNESIA FAST IT WOULDN'T BE A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU WITH ALL THOSE OTHER LITTLE[JERRY'S]RUNNING LOOSE..JUST REMEMBER SIR IF ANYONE ASK,YOU WERE AT GRADY'S PASSING OUT BARF BAGS AS PART OF YOUR SERVICE TO YOUR VOTERS..[and sir we have pictures of you with those poor unfortunates too],IT WON'T MATTER THAT YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY THERE CGI IS AMAZING...YOU'RE SHOO IN MR.PRESIDENT-TEN MORE YEARS,TEN MORE YEARS!!

  3. #103
    SIR,IN YOUR SERVICE...[and the fact that you're forty million votes behinds joe biden]WE WHO ARE BEHIND YOU CAME UP WITH A STRATEGY THAT WILL WIN YOU THE ELECTION..[and the biggest upset in history]NOW AS YOU KNOW SIR ALL THE CANDIDATES TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEMS THAT WE FACE EACH DAY,WELL SIR WHY NOT WHEN YOU'RE OUT ON THE CAMPAINE TRAIL PASS OUT...MARSHMELLOWS-THAT'S RIGHT SIR,BECAUSE FOLKS ARE TIRED OF BEING REMINDED OF HOW BAD THINGS ARE AND MARSHMELLOWS ARE MELLOW AND FOLKS WILL BE HAPPY...[and full of sugar]BUT BEFORE THEY PASS OUT THEY WILL VOTE FOR YOU SIR BECAUSE THEY WILL FEEL SO-MARSHMELLOWY..TEN MORE YEARS-TEN MORE YEARS!

  4. #104
    I have a better idea. I've spent the past day and a half learning to rap and I'm gonna appeal to the youth of America by rapping in the debates. I remember when Bill Clinton got a bump by playing a saxophone on Arsenio Hall. When I bust a diss track on Dumb Old Tramp in the debate, the crowd will go wild. I'm almost done writing my first line of my first song but I'm having a problem with some of the lyrics (what rhymes with "colluding criminal a** mofo from the swamp of the rich sons of guns with a cheap orange spray tan and pink eyes"?). I thought it would be easier. But nothing worth doing is ever really easy, is it? I'm going to give people at my rallies in the rural areas a country concert but it's difficult preparing because my city "y'all" doesn't sound like their country "y'all" and I don't want them rushing the stage. You never know when something like that can get out of hand. Anyway, I figured I can confuse them by coming out in a red shirt and telling them I'm Colin Powell and giving a great introduction. Then I can go back, switch into a blue shirt and say that I'm Clarence Thomas. After a few kind words, I'll change into a green shirt and pretend I'm Ben Carson (won't say anything when I come out because he's always sleepy, they'll understand). And then, I'll put on a star spangled shirt and come out and tell them I'm Jerry Oz, give it up for those other great black fellers and dang if I don't love Murica! They'll never know the difference. Then, I'll speak and tell them to vote for me before I lip synch to a couple of Darius Rucker tunes. That way, I'll appeal to the country voters.

    Seriously, I got this all figured out.

  5. #105
    Well...ok sir you know best,rap it is but i should warn you rumor has it that to get the few black votes in the farm belt trump had[b e t]installed in every farm house,in other words sir those farmers will know you're not-ben carson..we still have most of the marshmellows sir if you change your mind!!!

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