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  1. #1

    Things Your Mom and Dad Said

    Here are some gems from mine. I bet yours said a lot of these.

    My Mother:

    Wait 'till your father gets home!

    Yeah? When pigs fly!

    Quit picking on your brother!

    Eat everything on your plate! People are starvin' in China!

    Shut that door! You weren't born in a barn!

    Turn that music down!

    You should meet a nice, Jewish girl!

    Don't get too big for your britches, Mr. Know-It-All!

    If your friends asked you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?

    Stop making that face! If you do it too long, it'll freeze that way!

    You think I was born yesterday?

    Because I say so!

    Go ask your father!

    From your mouth to God's ears!


    Dad:

    Keep your stick on the ice!

    Keep your guard up, and always get the first hit in!

    If he had an ounce of brains - he'd be dangerous!

    There are lots more fish in the sea!

    Whaddayahthink - I'm made O' money?

    Stay away from Jewish girls. They're too demanding!

    (after a karate chop to my arm) Slow down! You eat like The Russians are in St. Boniface!

    related: You got a hollow leg? You're eating us out of house and home!

    Yeah? Right! And if my Zeyde had tits he'd have been my Bubbe!

    Get goin'! It's ONLY 55 below! When I was a kid, we walked 7 miles to school, through 10 foot snow drifts, in 65 below, with 140 below wind chill!

    Because I say so!

    Go ask your mother!

    You kids are soft, these days. You couldn't have handled what we went through.

    You live under MY roof, you follow MY rules!




    Ha! Ha! I forgot to add this one, that EVERY father says:

    "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"

  2. #2
    Mum used to say she'd send my dinner to the starving in Biafra

    Dad used to say..before you take out a girl...look at her mother cos that's what she's gonna be like in a few years time.

    Whadya think this is...a doss house?

    What's for dinner?
    Crumpet and gunpowder
    Air pie
    What's on the table

  3. #3
    "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about" was one of my my dad's favourites too, Robb.

    Also:

    She's too slow to catch a cold.

    He's a good boy when he's asleep.

    He/ She's got a face only a mother could love.

    And when faced with a question he couldn't answer: God knows, and He won't split.
    Last edited by 144man; 03-10-2017 at 04:37 AM. Reason: additions made

  4. #4
    Mom: "Get out of my sight!"

  5. #5
    The classic: "You better eat all of that. There's starving kids in China who'd love to have it."

  6. #6
    My mom's variant: You'll eat it before it eats you.

  7. #7
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    I forgot the classic: "Don't go out with underwear with holes in it, you might get in an accident!". As if the mother was more worried about the reputation of her family in the community than the condition and health of her child after a serious accident! As the famous Saskatchewanian, Art linkletter, once should have said, "Grown-ups say the darndest things!!"

  8. #8
    My father:

    Now stop crying before I give you something to cry about!

  9. #9
    My mother:

    All I do all day is say "stop, quit, behave" to you kids.

  10. #10
    My mom had a habit of making up words that she thought only kids would understand like:

    You have your t-shirt on "wrong, you must have wrongsiditis"! LOL!

  11. #11
    My father:

    Roll over there and change the channel!

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by robb_k View Post
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    I forgot the classic: "Don't go out with underwear with holes in it, you might get in an accident!". As if the mother was more worried about the reputation of her family in the community than the condition and health of her child after a serious accident! As the famous Saskatchewanian, Art linkletter, once should have said, "Grown-ups say the darndest things!!"
    Robb, my mother use to say that
    (and still does....) but she would add....."what if you had to go to the hospital?" LOL!

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by robb_k View Post
    Here are some gems from mine. I bet yours said a lot of these.


    Dad:

    Keep your stick on the ice!

    Keep your guard up, and always get the first hit in!

    If he had an ounce of brains - he'd be dangerous!

    There are lots more fish in the sea!

    Whaddayahthink - I'm made O' money?

    Stay away from Jewish girls. They're too demanding!

    (after a karate chop to my arm) Slow down! You eat like The Russians are in St. Boniface!

    related: You got a hollow leg? You're eating us out of house and home!

    Yeah? Right! And if my Zeyde had tits he'd have been my Bubbe!

    Get goin'! It's ONLY 55 below! When I was a kid, we walked 7 miles to school, through 10 foot snow drifts, in 65 below, with 140 below wind chill!

    Because I say so!

    Go ask your mother!

    You kids are soft, these days. You couldn't have handled what we went through.

    You live under MY roof, you follow MY rules!





    Ha! Ha! I forgot to add this one, that EVERY father says:

    "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"
    Robb, I hightlighted the sayings that are the exact same ones my father used on me! LOL!!!!

  14. #14
    My mother:

    Come on and eat your peas.........just mush them up in your mouth and swallow them fast. LOL!!!!

  15. #15
    My mother:

    Go with your daddy so that he will come right back...... LOL!

  16. #16
    My mother:

    Turn that TV off and go do it right now!

  17. #17
    Me: (Banging on the bathroom door) Daddy! I have to use the bathroom!
    Dad: Take it easy. Are your pockets dry?
    Me: Yes, but they have holes in them!

    One of my Mom's favorite childhood memories of me.

  18. #18
    My father:

    Be daddy's big boy and eat your vegetables.

  19. #19
    My Pops used to always tell people to "shake it easy". We'd all giggle and remind him that it's "Take it easy, Daddy!"

    Never dawned on us once that he was playing with us. We seriously thought he was confused about it.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry Oz View Post
    Me: (Banging on the bathroom door) Daddy! I have to use the bathroom!
    Dad: Take it easy. Are your pockets dry?
    Me: Yes, but they have holes in them!

    One of my Mom's favorite childhood memories of me.
    The one my Mom often repeats is me beating up one of my father's co-worker's kids LOL! She said they couldn't stop me.

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by marv2 View Post
    The one my Mom often repeats is me beating up one of my father's co-worker's kids LOL! She said they couldn't stop me.
    I'm sure he deserved it. LOL.

  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry Oz View Post
    I'm sure he deserved it. LOL.
    He did because he took my Justice League comic book and my Aquaman plastic toy I use throw in the tub. hehehehehehehe!

  23. #23
    Jerry, what did you parents tell you about crossing the street, not speaking to strangers or Santa Claus? LOL!

  24. #24
    To be honest, I learned to look both ways from my older sister and brother, who walked me to school when we all attended elementary school together. There weren't many strangers in my neighborhood, so I was to be respectful to adults or my folks would know about it and to run if I felt threatened. I don't recall any instance when a true stranger was in the hood and there were very few times that I was alone.

    And my brother and I figured Santa was a myth without being told when we found that electric football board in their closet. I don't think that I ever really believed in Santa. My folks are cool. Mom gave us room to grow up and make mistakes by telling us we could talk to her about anything without her judging us. We all did and we all turned out fine.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by marv2 View Post
    Robb, I hightlighted the sayings that are the exact same ones my father used on me! LOL!!!!
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    Marv, your dad never told you "There's lots of other fish in the sea!" when you were dumped by a girlfriend or stood up for a date, or were turned down asking a girl out that gave you the hots?

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry Oz View Post
    My Pops used to always tell people to "shake it easy". We'd all giggle and remind him that it's "Take it easy, Daddy!"

    Never dawned on us once that he was playing with us. We seriously thought he was confused about it.
    That is so funny! LOL! My Dad use to do stuff like that too! You've heard Marvin Gaye's song "I'll Be Doggone"? That was a pretty popular saying but my father would always mess it up by saying "Well I'll be dog!" LOL!

  27. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by robb_k View Post
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    Marv, your dad never told you "There's lots of other fish in the sea!" when you were dumped by a girlfriend or stood up for a date, or were turned down asking a girl out that gave you the hots?
    He did, but in his own way which was a little "stronger" than that LOL! I do and will always remember that he did not accept defeat from us. He would always tell me, don't come crying to me......you'd better get out there and do what you are suppose to do! That was his main message after I was say around 19-20 years old and beyond.

    When a specific girl rejected me or did not accept my "interests", he would try to steer me towards one of his friends or neighbor's daughters instead. LOL! But never accept defeat or rejection as a reason to mope or give up.

  28. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry Oz View Post
    To be honest, I learned to look both ways from my older sister and brother, who walked me to school when we all attended elementary school together. There weren't many strangers in my neighborhood, so I was to be respectful to adults or my folks would know about it and to run if I felt threatened. I don't recall any instance when a true stranger was in the hood and there were very few times that I was alone.

    And my brother and I figured Santa was a myth without being told when we found that electric football board in their closet. I don't think that I ever really believed in Santa. My folks are cool. Mom gave us room to grow up and make mistakes by telling us we could talk to her about anything without her judging us. We all did and we all turned out fine.
    Ok that is pretty much how it was for us too. There were no strangers around really, my family knew everyone ,every where it seemed. My father did made it understood that we could and should tell him any and everything! I don't care what it was LOL! He was our go to guy when you had a question or if something happened or if you wanted to prepare him for hearing about something your mother was going to tell him you did bad. My brother broke the Santa Claus fantasy and showed me the toys in the basement hidden in the wall behind the furnance.

  29. #29
    From my dad: Remember...you're no better than anybody else, but no one is better than you.

    Also: Always walk like you know where you're going.

  30. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by sansradio View Post
    From my dad: Remember...you're no better than anybody else, but no one is better than you.

    Also: "Always walk like you know where you're going".
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    Very important to know this, especially in an unfamiliar place.

  31. #31
    From Mom: Don't throw those clothes away! Fashion is nothing but a cycle. They'll be back in style and you'll thank me.

  32. #32
    Well,let's see...pop[who drank the last of my hooch...jiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!]...mom[the day you're man enough to talk back is the day you move out].

  33. #33
    The dreaded: "You kids better be quiet and go to sleep. Don't make me come up there!"

    Of course we didn't. Of course she did...

  34. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by sansradio View Post
    From Mom: Don't throw those clothes away! Fashion is nothing but a cycle. They'll be back in style and you'll thank me.
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    Ha! Ha! I took your mother's advice. First of all, I NEVER was in fashion. I started wearing blue jeans, a T - shirt, baseball cap and sneakers/tennis shoes. I had one suit for fancy occasions (very conservative - dark blue). In high school, I wore light-coloured (cacqui) jeans or slacks and Pendleton shirts (I was dressing like Red Green, already!) I got a new suit for graduating High School, and a new one for graduating undergraduate. I still wear the latter, and it is my only suit. I have only worn it 3-5 days a year, or less, for weddings, bar mitzvahs and funerals. Otherwise, I wear jeans and a T-shirt on warm days, and blue jeans and a Pendleton when it gets below 40 degrees F. I wore those casual clothes most of my careers
    9even as an engineer/environmental scientist/economist for 20 years in Africa and Asia,as a cartoonist, and, of course, working in the music industry. I have some pants from 40 years ago.

  35. #35
    Hey robb i too have stuff from the sixties,but my wife made me lock them in a trunk buried deep in the back of a vault and she keeps the key locked away in a p.o.box guarded by armed security and killer dogs...i never have any fun!!!

  36. #36
    Another Mom classic: This room looks like homemade sin!

  37. #37
    Hey,remember when mom would get on you and you would look over at pop and he would pull the newspaper in front of him? Haaaaaaaaaaaaa...you were dead!!!

  38. #38
    Mum:

    You treat this place just like a hotel.

    What did your last servant die of?

    If you break your leg, don't come running to me.

  39. #39
    My Ma when she didn't realize what she was saying...."If you run out there and get hit by a car, I'm gonna kill you!" LOL!

    My Mom, "Go over there and let Bob (my Dad) tie your shoe before you trip and fall".

  40. #40
    My Dad: "You kids (there were 5 of us) had better tell me who broke the window" (silence and a bunch of "I dunnos"). "Ok then, I am going to whip all of you, that way I will be sure to get the right one" My sister would then always cough up the name and it usually was me or my brother Danny. LOL!

  41. #41
    Dad (when asked a question he couldn't answer): How long is a piece of string?

  42. #42
    Me: Let's go to Burger King!

    Dad: You got Burger King money?

  43. #43
    My brother Robert and I at the barber shop at ages 6 and 8 respectively "take a little from the sides and a little from the top......."

    My Dad "Skin 'em and I'll be back in a hour". LOL

  44. #44
    Quote Originally Posted by marv2 View Post
    My brother Robert and I at the barber shop at ages 6 and 8 respectively "take a little from the sides and a little from the top......."

    My Dad "Skin 'em and I'll be back in a hour". LOL
    Yep! My dad just snapped his fingers once by his temple to signal that to the barber!

  45. #45
    My mother: "Oh so you think I'm playing? I am sending you to stay with your grandparents this summer....."

  46. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by marv2 View Post
    My mother: "Oh so you think I'm playing? I am sending you to stay with your grandparents this summer....."
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    I take it that that was a threat to get you "back in line". Sounds like she knew you would hate being away from your friends. Did your grandparents live out in the countryside (farm or small town) where it would be boring for you, or in another city?

  47. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by robb_k View Post
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    I take it that that was a threat to get you "back in line". Sounds like she knew you would hate being away from your friends. Did your grandparents live out in the countryside (farm or small town) where it would be boring for you, or in another city?
    Robb that was exactly right! My friends were everything back then.....BUT my grandparents were really my very best friends, they were awesome! My mother didn't view them the same way we kids did. My Grandma baked desserts, cookies, cakes, pies, puddings everyday! My Grandpa was retired and took me everywhere with him and he loved kids. He made sure you had some kind of bike, dog, fishing rod whatever, oh and the chance to ride horses when I stayed with him. Yes my grandparents lived in a small, rural country town. I got to know all the kids in their town. I was a city kid from birth but loved going out to the country. To me it was like going to summer camp! LOL! So my mother's threats did not possibly scare me like the one's where she would tell my father on me.

  48. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by marv2 View Post
    Robb that was exactly right! My friends were everything back then.....BUT my grandparents were really my very best friends, they were awesome! My mother didn't view them the same way we kids did. My Grandma baked desserts, cookies, cakes, pies, puddings everyday! My Grandpa was retired and took me everywhere with him and he loved kids. He made sure you had some kind of bike, dog, fishing rod whatever, oh and the chance to ride horses when I stayed with him. Yes my grandparents lived in a small, rural country town. I got to know all the kids in their town. I was a city kid from birth but loved going out to the country. To me it was like going to summer camp! LOL! So my mother's threats did not possibly scare me like the one's where she would tell my father on me.
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    I grew up mostly living in the same house with my father's parents, but when we weren't there (almost 4 months out of each year), we were staying with my mother's parents. So, all 4 of my grandparents were like 2 more sets of parents to me. I had two homes. So, no one could threaten me with "banishment" to my grandparents' homes. But, I was pretty well behaved and got good grades, and was an integral worker in my father's store, and was working on a sub career that would result in my paying my own way through university with scholarships. So my parents would never have had to threaten me, anyway. As it was I ended up paying my own way through university. The only thing my parents could ever hold against me is not giving them any grandchildren or great grandchildren. Luckily, my sisters did that.

  49. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by robb_k View Post
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    I grew up mostly living in the same house with my father's parents, but when we weren't there (almost 4 months out of each year), we were staying with my mother's parents. So, all 4 of my grandparents were like 2 more sets of parents to me. I had two homes. So, no one could threaten me with "banishment" to my grandparents' homes. But, I was pretty well behaved and got good grades, and was an integral worker in my father's store, and was working on a sub career that would result in my paying my own way through university with scholarships. So my parents would never have had to threaten me, anyway. As it was I ended up paying my own way through university. The only thing my parents could ever hold against me is not giving them any grandchildren or great grandchildren. Luckily, my sisters did that.
    Robb, that is excellent! Don't get me wrong. We were not like Juvenile Delinquents(I've seen the inside of NYC's Juvenile Justice Centers aka Kiddie Prisons and those kids have murdered their own parents). We were more mischievous especially my older brother Robert. He would follow or mimic older kids and I would follow him into every kind of trouble a small kid could get into back in the sixties LOL! We were both very good students. Always earning A's and B's.

    I don't how it would have worked out for us if my grandparents on either side had lived with us. Both of my parents believed in corporal punishment..........none of my grandparents did especially in regards to their grandkids. They would not allow it and that would have caused all types of problems.

  50. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by marv2 View Post
    Robb, that is excellent! Don't get me wrong. We were not like Juvenile Delinquents(I've seen the inside of NYC's Juvenile Justice Centers aka Kiddie Prisons and those kids have murdered their own parents). We were more mischievous especially my older brother Robert. He would follow or mimic older kids and I would follow him into every kind of trouble a small kid could get into back in the sixties LOL! We were both very good students. Always earning A's and B's.

    I don't how it would have worked out for us if my grandparents on either side had lived with us. Both of my parents believed in corporal punishment..........none of my grandparents did especially in regards to their grandkids. They would not allow it and that would have caused all types of problems.
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    Well, I did get mostly A's and a few B's (or their equivalent number grades). But, I wasn't exactly Little Lord Fauntleroy. I ditched school a few times, got in about 4-5 "official" fights (fights in school, in which we got caught and stopped by a teacher). But most fights started in school were held in alleys or fields, away from school (and there were plenty of those that my parents never found out about). I said those cut lips, bruises and black eyes happened in my hockey games(some did). I carried a switchblade to junior high school every day, as The Ukrainian boys used to jump us.

    My father paddled my rear end a few times when I was little. But, he never hit me after I was 8 or so. He figured that once a kid was 8 or 9, he can understand things, and then can have consequences that "hit him where it hurts" if behaving badly, or to learn a lesson. Being grounded for a weekend or two was used. But, my parents couldn't take away my "allowance" or things they normally bought for me, because I didn't get an allowance nor things bought for me, because I was independently wealthy from working in my father's store and earning good money. I worked hard and was worth my salary.

    My mother tried to hit me with a broom once, after drinking heavily, when I was 16. But, I ducked (dodged) and her swing missed, and she wrenched her back. She never tried to strike me again. I didn't really do anything to warrant that. She claimed I "talked back to her". But I was just saying what needed to be said, and not rude or disrespectful, at all. She was too messed up to think straight. Thank goodness she never did that again.

    My parents were pretty mild when it came to disciplining their children. Paddling the fanny of kids when they are little is nothing compared what the schools did. In elementary school, our principal (a big, strong man) took off his belt, and whipped kids who were sent to him. He'd go to prison if he did that now. Teachers whacked you on the knuckles if you talked out of turn, laughed, chewed gum in class, or got up and walked in the room without permission. In junior high school we had an ex CFL lineman for the "swatman". He'd hit the boys in the rear end various numbers of "swats" for various offences, with a wood paddle-ball paddle. There were 4 holes drilled in it to avoid wind resistance, so he could swing it at you faster. You couldn't sit down for a week after getting swatted by him, unless you had a big, plush pillow strapped to your rear. I think I already told you all about my sister's kindergarten teacher, who used to put the transgressing boys under her grand piano, and bang down hard on the keys (apparently trying to break their ear drums?). And after that, they had to sit in the girls' walk-in "doll house", and listen to the girls laugh at them for 10 minutes at a time. Needless to say she thought boys were "little devils". Another sadist who would have been fired and sued for millions in today's times, and perhaps serve a short prison term as well. Some things were tougher back when I was a kid. So, I one old geezer that wouldn't claim that "EVERYTHING" was better back in "The Good Old Days".
    Last edited by robb_k; 03-18-2017 at 09:21 PM.

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