Phyllis Hyman-Most Painful Song

[daviddesper]

I know we have some Phyllis fans on here, and I know we have previously discussed the pain and desperation in some of her songs. But I just heard [[on Pandora) what has to be the most gut-wrenching of them all......."Whatever Happened to Our Love," from the Prime of My Life album.

Lyrically it is a very well-written song with a quite believable story line, and she delivered it masterfully. One of her absolute classics! Anyone agree?

[jack020]

How about:
I Refuse To Be Lonely?

[Guy]

Umm..."Living All Alone"? Her calling card. A top 20 single in the 80s. A song about the pain of heartache and loneliness that ends with her emoting "come back to me / NO! / I don't want to be alone!"

[daviddesper]

Good choices one and all. I would also include Give Me One Good Reason to Stay and Just Another Face in the Crowd. She could wail, that is for sure!

[Philles/Motown Gary]

Gotta agree with Jack here. "I Refuse To Be Lonely" surely tugs at the heart-strings. Musically and lyrically, the song seems to reflect Phyllis' personal life at the time [[getting dropped by her record label, man trouble, turning to drugs for emotional comfort, and feeling overwhelmingly unappreciated). It's as though she had already given up and was announcing her pending suicide which, right or wrong, beat being lonely.

[daviddesper]

Thanks for the input guys. It is sooooo sad to think how much more great music she could have given us!

[Guy]

I like this discussion of Phyllis Hyman. I've always loved her. She was so marvelous to look at. I only got to see her live one time and she was stunning. I have read that Phyllis was unhappy that she didn't have more commercial success. Which is perplexing since I don't think she was making music that was intended for mainstream success.

I think Phyllis Hyman could have had commercial success if she made more 'happy' songs, like Anita Baker. Anita Baker has a similarly emotive, alto voice and her songs have the same jazz/blues chords but her 'hit' songs tended to be more upbeat, positive and jubilant about the prospect of love - "Body and Soul", "Sweet Love", "Giving You The Best That I Got", "Caught Up In The Rapture", etc.

Phyllis seemed to saturate her catalog with sad, lonesome, lovelorn songs. Phyllis's biggest chart hits were "You Know How To Love Me" and "Don't Want To Change The World." Both were atypical of her output. I love "You Know How.." but I never listen to "Don't Want To Change The World." I think mainstream audiences tend not to respond to messages of self-pity and abject heartbreak [[Adele excepted).

Personally, I love the gorgeous melodrama of a Phyllis Hyman ballad, no one does its better. But I believe the unrelenting melancholy that she conveyed in song was also in her real life and it was destined to take her too soon.

[Bluebrock]

Phyllis was one of the all time great soul divas in my opinion. Her voice literally tears me apart when performing some of those intense lyrics. You can feel the ladies anguish and pain. She lived those lyrics. I am always saddened when i listen to her emotive voice battling against the demons in her soul. Such a tragic waste. A towering talent in every sense.

[helga]

"I Refuse to Be Lonely" definitely hits me at the saddest. "Living In Confusion" also comes to my mind.

[daviddesper]

Guy:

You make some excellent points. She did dwell on sadness in her choice of material, but as you said, her biggest hits were upbeat, positive songs. Another example of that style was the song called "You Sure Look Good to Me."

[splanky]

Every Phyllis Hyman song for me is accompanied by pain simply because of the way she
ended her life. I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't subscribe to the sad song theory
because I can think of others who were masters at singing the saddest of sad songs yet
enjoyed grand career success. Phyllis was a very uniquely talented woman who suffered
the most extreme mental imbalance of anyone in her field post Billie Holiday. Upbeat or not,
I'm still thankful for what she left behind...

[Guy]

Every Phyllis Hyman song for me is accompanied by pain simply because of the way she
ended her life. I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't subscribe to the sad song theory
because I can think of others who were masters at singing the saddest of sad songs yet
enjoyed grand career success.

As the late, great Whitney Elizabeth Houston once said: "Show Me The Receipts!!!!!"

LOL. All the great female soul singers - Aretha, Gladys, Tina, Patti, Roberta, Chaka - have recorded the occasional sad song. However, I can't think of any other singer who consistently recorded such aching, anguished ballads of lost love who enjoyed any greater commercial success than Phyllis Hyman. But I am prepared to be enlightened.

[jack020]

Billie Holliday?

[motownhost01]

I think "I Refuse to be Lonely" turns to be one of the most painful ones because she was begging for help, she didn't want to be lonely, she refused. But not too much later, she became all alone, and it was too late to rescue Phyllis from the loneliness, something that she could't stand anymore. Eventually, she was gone.

In "Give me a Good Reason to Stay" it is much closer to her death spirit. Her mind was away from body, her life didn't have any value for her. Tho, she wasn't dead yet, it was too close already, and there was no good reason that could make Phyllis change her mind, this world was just too much for her. "Too tired to sing, too tired to live". And her fans were "standing there, waiting there, at the door...". Simply sad.

Still, in my opinion, if there is a song of Phyllis that is really sad, because of its such deep and moody lyrics, it has to be "Somewhere In My Lifetime".
"Somewhere in my lifetime, it was you and me." Should I say more? It's just a masterpiece and somehow so touching.
Thanks Phyllis for every song that you turned into a smile, tears or pure love.

[Bluebrock]

I think "I Refuse to be Lonely" turns to be one of the most painful ones because she was begging for help, she didn't want to be lonely, she refused. But not too much later, she became all alone, and it was too late to rescue Phyllis from the loneliness, something that she could't stand anymore. Eventually, she was gone.

In "Give me a Good Reason to Stay" it is much closer to her death spirit. Her mind was away from body, her life didn't have any value for her. Tho, she wasn't dead yet, it was too close already, and there was no good reason that could make Phyllis change her mind, this world was just too much for her. "Too tired to sing, too tired to live". And her fans were "standing there, waiting there, at the door...". Simply sad.

Still, in my opinion, if there is a song of Phyllis that is really sad, because of its such deep and moody lyrics, it has to be "Somewhere In My Lifetime".
"Somewhere in my lifetime, it was you and me." Should I say more? It's just a masterpiece and somehow so touching.
Thanks Phyllis for every song that you turned into a smile, tears or pure love.

I have been a massive fan of Phyllis Hyman for over 40 years, but now i feel a little sad when i listen to her "sad" songs. That voice tends to move me more than any other. Perhaps it is because of the way she ended her life, but i can listen to other artists who ended their own lives without feeling this way. She was truly a unique talent, and that voice was so very special.

[JimBagley]

The recording that I wish with all of my heart that Miss Hyman could have adhered to is my favorite: This Too Shall Pass.

[midnightman]

It's between Living All Alone, Living in Confusion and When I Give My Love This Time as THE saddest song she ever did. But honestly MORE of her songs will get in your feelings. She was that deep. Hell I can even go back to Was Yesterday Such a Long Time Ago from her debut. Her cover of Betcha By Golly Wow was melancholy. Karen Carpenter had that same effect.

[motownhost01]

If she was alive, she would say that "Old Friend" is the saddest. She always cried performing this one, something that we were unable to see while she was performing her other hits.

Anyway, there was only one Phyllis Hyman, and her voice was just perfect in each and every song that she tried on.

I recently listened a song from I refuse to be lonely album called I'm Truly Yours that I just fallen in love with. Such a beautiful tune.

[midnightman]

If she was alive, she would say that "Old Friend" is the saddest. She always cried performing this one, something that we were unable to see while she was performing her other hits.

Anyway, there was only one Phyllis Hyman, and her voice was just perfect in each and every song that she tried on.

I recently listened a song from I refuse to be lonely album called I'm Truly Yours that I just fallen in love with. Such a beautiful tune.

So true. She even cries while discussing the song in a JET interview in '87 when Living All Alone went gold.

Here's her performing it in Tokyo in 1990 and yes she cries immediately when she begins singing it: