Lost discussion thread revisited or what????

[arr&bee]

A man at a bus stop asked a duck for the time,and the duck replied...how the quack should i know.

[westgrandboulevard]

That's just what my doctor said to me....

[Jerry Oz]

A man walks into a doctor's office with a duck perched on his head. The doctor looks him over and realizing that something is very wrong asks what is going on. "What, are you blind, Doc?" the duck replies. "I have a man on my ass!"

[westgrandboulevard]

How embarrassing. That man must have had egg on his face.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, it does appear that the yolk is on him, doesn't it?

[westgrandboulevard]

Eggsactly.

[144man]

Did the doctor find a cure for that mallardy?

[Jerry Oz]

I'm afraid he didn't. He said that it was a fowl situation.

[westgrandboulevard]

If there's no chance to duck out of it, no sense in having a grouse about it.

[Jerry Oz]

He said that. But he also said that he wouldn't read until the case was quacked.

[westgrandboulevard]

What wouldn't he read....?

[arr&bee]

This puts me in a fowl mood.

[Jerry Oz]

What wouldn't he read....?

Autocorrect strikes again...

It should have read 'he wouldn't REST until the case was quacked'. Stinkin' tablet...

[Jerry Oz]

This puts me in a fowl mood.

Don't worry, Bub. You'll be feeling ducky before you know it.

[arr&bee]

I gotta see my quack today.

[144man]

I'm ducking the issue.

[westgrandboulevard]

Always best to avoid a duck's issue.....

[144man]

That could be ugly, unless it turns into a swan.

[westgrandboulevard]

With a cygneture tune of "Waddle I do..."....?

[Jerry Oz]

You should record that and put it on the internet. It will be your greatest webbed feat.

[westgrandboulevard]

....and also allow me to walk on water...

[Jerry Oz]

If you can do that, people will swan over you.

[westgrandboulevard]

I hope to remain as serene and gracious as ever.

If that doesn't work, one vigorous bat of a wing should certainly deter them, if not actually break a limb.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, don't think that you're alone, friend. After all, birds of a feather tend to flock together.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes. It's illegal over here to kill a swan [[property of HM), be it white or black... but better be on the safe side, and go around in numbers.

[arr&bee]

You know how smart swans are,didn't they do...[swan lake]??

[Jerry Oz]

I don't know. My school was so poor, they took us to see 'Goose Pond', a knockoff ballet put on by the residents of a local halfway house. Three of the dancers used it as an opportunity to escape and another one picked the pockets of some of the chaperones. It was well worth it though, because a few of the kids would later grow up and be assigned to the same facility after being paroled.

[westgrandboulevard]

Such finesse!

[Jerry Oz]

It's so nice when you look back and see to where the road led...

[westgrandboulevard]

Picture yourself twenty years from now, looking back down a road you are now about to take...and wishing with all your heart that it had said 'Strictly No Entry'...

[144man]

A man walks into an empty bar with a duck and a biscuit tin. He places the duck on top of the tin, and the duck immediately starts dancing. The bar gradually fills up as news of this amazing sight spreads. The barman knows he is onto a good thing with the increased turnover and buys the duck for 500 dollars, expecting to quickly make his investment back.

At the end of the evening the duck was still dancing, so the barman asked the seller how to make it stop. He replied, "You just take the lid off the biscuit tin and blow out the candle."

I've just had the RSPCA [Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] round. Apparently they've just had a complaint about the above joke. Who's the snitch?

[westgrandboulevard]

It certainly wasn't me. My name is quite prevalent on this thread, and I have a reputation to live down to [[if not correct grammatical construction, to live up to...). Oh, yes.....

So.... who do we know who has connections, a story to tell, and works under a cloak of anonymity, always keeping one step ahead of the game ....

[Jerry Oz]

I've just had the RSPCA [Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] round. Apparently they've just had a complaint about the above joke. Who's the snitch?

Wait! 'RSPCA' doesn't stand for 'Really Special Precious Comics Association'? I was actually nominating your joke for 'Internet Forum Joke of the Year'...

No wonder they threatened to send a goon squad if I didn't answer all of their questions...

[144man]

Strange how we have the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but just the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Only in Britain, eh?

[westgrandboulevard]

The NSPCC is incorporated by Royal Charter, which is granted by the Sovereign...although I can't say why it isn't the Royal Society.....

[144man]

Because the royal family like dogs and horses better than smelly children?

[westgrandboulevard]

W-e-l-l, I can't say that I'd blame them if they did....

[Jerry Oz]

Well, there's another smelly royal on the way knocking both of you one further notch away from the throne. That certainly sucks.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's not a problem, more of a relief. Practically no-one outside of the Royal family would want the job.

[144man]

I wouldn't want to be Prime Minister either. although of course, if I were to be offered the job, I don't see how I could possibly refuse.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, there's a good pension and a guarantee of a successful autobiography, for a start.

Not to mention a sister who would be extremely keen to be seen with you, in and around No. 10. "You there! Let me in. I'm family!"

[Jerry Oz]

If Thatcher was the 'Iron Lady', which metal would you want to be associated with you?

[westgrandboulevard]

For me, steel.....!

[Jerry Oz]

I'll try aluminum. I'm flexible enough and can usually take the heat. However I might come apart if I think you're trying to get me to bend too much or too often.

[arr&bee]

You guys are coming apart at the seams.

[Jerry Oz]

And that's why you're straight gold, amigo.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'd say Arr&bee was far more saloon bar, than gold bar.

[Jerry Oz]

I was trying to be nice...

[westgrandboulevard]

So was I

[Jerry Oz]

I see that now... I forgot to apply context to the reply. Sorry, Bruh...