Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

[arr&bee]

You two might land a gig as court jesters yet.

[Jerry Oz]

And may we consider you the Clown Prince, my lord?

[arr&bee]

Yeah you jesters will need someone to look down to.

[westgrandboulevard]

Not if we've ALL fallen on the floor, we won't...

[Jerry Oz]

Best to be the last to land if we're all falling down... I prefer falling on my peers rather than be on the bottom when the peeing starts...

[westgrandboulevard]

Ha! There will be no peeing on MY bottom - by order of the Court!

[Jerry Oz]

Drinker #1, as he wakes up naked in the penguin cage at the zoo, smeared with animal excrement and his own vomit, with unknown names tattooed inked on his backside: "What happened last night? I can't remember a thing."
Drinker #2, similarly dissheveled: "It beats me, man. After we started drinking, I think we passed out."

The look at each other amazed before coming to the same conclusion and shouting [[in unison): "BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!!"

[westgrandboulevard]

Sounds like an average Saturday night out in many towns and cities!

I'd rather stay in, and start earlier on the Sunday morning......

[Jerry Oz]

I am sure that scenario plays out every weekend at the Ohio State University [[and a few others).

[arr&bee]

Saturday night,who waits that long,as that great poet wilbur shookpear once said...to hooch or not to hooch that's not the question is it better in the minds of men that they partake or be partooken be bold my forbidden ones for we are the dead already of a frozen thaw...what a poet.

[westgrandboulevard]

There's nothing like a good poet.

And 'Wilbur Shookpear' sounds nothing like one

[144man]

"A hooch. A hooch. My kingdom for a hooch."

[westgrandboulevard]

Might make a good TV ad.......

[Jerry Oz]

A great poem could be written about hooch. So many words rhyme with it including "pooch", "cooch", "couch" [[look it up), "smooch", and "mooch". Perhaps Wilbur Shookpear could put his touch on it one day...

[westgrandboulevard]

Wilbur Shookpear sounds like a specialist in slang, so would love any word ending in 'ooch'.

I bet every one of his anthologies is personally signed with 'X'.

[arr&bee]

Remember that great one he wrote...i think that i shall never see anyone else as drunk as me,me who in winter may wear the same suit for a week but who shall care,me who shall invest all my savings in hooches sweet caress,i sure ain't giving it to my wife to waste on some silly dress,poems are made by fools like me but only jai can make hooch......what a poet!

[westgrandboulevard]

All it needs is a little gentle lute playing, some birdsong and a large bottle of Poet & Chandon.

[arr&bee]

I once asked a lady for a little lute and she slapped me.

[westgrandboulevard]

With the type of ladies you hang around with, isn't it normally them asking YOU for the money??!

[arr&bee]

NO WOMAN IN HER RIGHT MIND...[with the exception of my wife,whose mind is keep sealed up]WOULD EVER ASK ME FOR MONEY,WHY I HAVEN'T CARRIED CASH SINCE,SINCE..SINCE...SINCE....SINCE.....SINCE..... .SINCE.......SEE EVEN I CAN'T RECALL...AS A MATTER OF FACT IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD ANY CASH.

[westgrandboulevard]

Your mother must have kept it all, since when you were a baby.

[arr&bee]

Nope my dear mom had her right mind and never let me near cash...it was kept in a glasscase and i could look at it on sundays after lassie.

[westgrandboulevard]

Why did Lassie want to look at cash in a glasscase before you, on Sundays??

[Jerry Oz]

Well, that explains what my great uncle Briscoe meant when he used to tell me not to "trust dem b*tches with your money."

I thought that it was his meth addiction talking, but after finding out about Lassie, he clearly once owned a collie.

[moe]

Did he get his meth from Walter White and Jesse?

[Jerry Oz]

Nah, he cooked his own because he thought that he was a natural when it comes to cooking. He cooked it mostly on the grill while his ribs were in the marmalade.

[westgrandboulevard]

Where were his fingers, I wonder....

[Jerry Oz]

Usually wiping the marmalade off of his ribs. He should have worn a shirt when he cooked because he constantly passed out while cooking and fell into the marmalade. He'd get it on his ribs, belly button, and chest. It was very unappetizing if you ask me...

[westgrandboulevard]

And so much more appetising when spread on bread and butter....

[arr&bee]

LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS...YOUR UNCLE ON METH COOKED HIS OWN RIBS WITH MARMALADE...[I'm afraid to ask what else he cooked].

[westgrandboulevard]

Were there, perchance, any members of his family who disappeared under mysterious circumstances....??

[Jerry Oz]

Only those who were stoopid enough to touch his meth when they thought that he wasn't looking...

[westgrandboulevard]

Sounds like it might have been a common occurrence.

[Jerry Oz]

Not after the baseheads realized what was going on. If you ever heard of people sleeping with their eyes open, uncle Briscoe could go for hours with his eyes shut but fully conscious. They thought he was sleeping but he was so tweaked, he only slept a couple of hours per week. Very creepy...

[westgrandboulevard]

Uncle B. spent more time on standby than a TV set.

[Jerry Oz]

My Mom tells of the time when the "we are exeriencing technical difficulties, please stand by" ​message on the television back in the days. My big brother asked what it meant and why the image was gone. When the message was read, he walked across the room and stood by the TV.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ha!

We used to hit our TV sometimes, when the reception was bad - or twiddle knobs on the back to correct the 'vertical', or 'horizontal hold', encouraged by those sat across the room, until the screen was back to normal.

What about the woman who brought some orange juice home, put in on the kitchen table, and then noticed it said 'concentrate'. She was sat there for hours, just staring at it.....

[Jerry Oz]

Was she the same woman fired from her job in Quality Control at the M&M factory because she kept rejecting all of "w"s that came down the line?

[westgrandboulevard]

The very same!

Her husband worked on a boating lake, taking the money and, when the punters had their money's worth, calling them back.

"Come in, number 99, your time is up...!"

A momentary thought struck him. "Wait a minute, we don't have a 99.....", followed by...

"Are you in trouble, 66????"

[Jerry Oz]

I know her! I was her relief during her break periods in the secretarial pool. I spent almost the whole time scraping dried correction fluid off her computer monitor...

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm surprised it wasn't also on her spectacles!

[Jerry Oz]

Me too. I saw her husband, who was dressed in a tuxedo as he walked into a doctor's office for a vasectomy. I asked why he was dressed thusly, and he told me that if one wants to be impotent, he must first look impotent.

[westgrandboulevard]

Quite understandable, but also strange just how strong those first impressions of appearance can be.

[Jerry Oz]

You don't get a second chance to make a first impression, eh?

[westgrandboulevard]

Ha! but, yes, I'd say definitely that we all do. We have to get past that first visual impression, and second impressions can form almost instantly after the first ones.

Sometimes the perception then becomes more positive, or more negative.

Unless, of course, it's voice only, as on the phone. First impressions count a lot there, but that does, again, depend on the preferences of the recipient. A strong dislike held by someone can be particularly harder to overcome, by both parties.....

[Jerry Oz]

I find it scary that you sometimes don't know who harbors that "strong dislike". Someone you may care for and/or trust could be the one stabbing you in the back unbeknownst to you. And God forbid that you should tell them something about a mutual acquaintance that they will run quickly to share with that person in order to put a wedge between you. You never know who that person might be...

[westgrandboulevard]

That's true, but it's important to maintain at least enough self-confidence to keep those self-doubting thoughts at bay.

If we don't, people who are less talented in some areas will begin to prevail in our mind - and that really does need to be firmly resisted

[arr&bee]

I used to keep all my self doubts at the bay but those pesky environmental folks got wind of it so i had to dump em in the ocean.

[westgrandboulevard]

Best place for them, arr&bee. Bottom of the ocean.

I don't have any self-doubts at eBay, either....

[Jerry Oz]

Self-doubts are tricky. They can roll in on low-tide and settle on the beach until somebody finds them and either throws them back or asks you what your major malfunction is for you to let that something like THAT be your hangup...?