Once anyone hears me sing, the cinema will empty quicklier than if the fire alarm had sounded.
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Once anyone hears me sing, the cinema will empty quicklier than if the fire alarm had sounded.
Marni Nixon still says she's only a phone call away.
In the meantime, it would prove extraordinarily effective if you were to busk the street outside,so ensuring the patrons take their seats in the most quickliest fashion.
We can bill his singing as a special effect. Crowd interaction, even if they are running for the exits, can be a good thing... On second thought, let's have him sing during the closing credits to clear out the theater for the next showing. The theater owners will love us.
The theatre owners will have their own logistic nightmare, trying to clear the seats of comatose patrons, who were approached during the interval by a strangely familiar, puckish figure, and who lured them into trying "a nip of this wonderful elixur..."
Two police officers were dispatched to find out what happened.
Officer #1: "Did you find out who did it?"
Officer #2: "I think it was a relative..."
Officer #1: "What makes you say that?"
Officer #2: "Well, one of the victims was muttering something about 'Our Aunt Bea'."
Officer #1: "Good work. Now, let's arrest this broad before she does something like this again!"
The two police officers sat in the darkened auditorium, discussing the missing Aunt Bea.
They then noticed a small torchlight, being flashed across each row of stalls from one of the aisles.....
An usher approached and very half-heartedly asked "Ticket please?" Officer #1 looked to his partner quizzically and then turned back to the usher. "Sure, kid" he said. "Most people don't ask us to issue them, but let me see your license and proof of insurance."
"Huh...?" the confused usher starts. Officer #1 then states in his most authoritative voice "I'm giving you a ticket. And keep your hands where I can see them."
"Help us kid, and you won't be in trouble", added Officer #1 "we're looking for a woman called Bea. Met anyone of that name around here?"
At that moment, the two officers and the usher froze, sensing an unseen but chilling presence of another person, just a few feet from them.
From the depths of the darkness hissed a crackling, epicene voice "Say, would you gentlemen like a nip of this wonderful elixur, left over from the last performance...?"
Officer #1 reaches for it, thanking the stranger for the gift. Before he can touch the Mason jar to his lips however, Officer #2 slaps it from his hands. "What do you think you're doing?", Officer #1 asked, upset that he was almost refreshed. "Look", his partner responded and pointed a thumb hard toward the movie screen. All of the actors were teetering about, drunk and clearly no longer performing. In the background, the cops could see an empty Mason jar with "arr&bee's XXX" written on it in black magic marker.
"Madre de Dios!" said Officer #1 in amazement. "Since when...", he paused. "Since when do I make exclamations in Spanish?" His friend nodded toward the floor. The wonderful elixur was glowing red as it was eating through the soiled theater carpet and into the concrete below. "Since you got a whiff of that," said Officer #2. At once, their guns were removed from their holsters as they sought to question the stranger. But he had disappeared as mysteriously as he arrived.
I'm starting to feel that Officers # 1 & #2 would make very effective supporting characters in our movie.......
We can give them a sip of hooch to make them more amenable on contract terms...
Whoever plays them might have that sip of hooch written in their contract......
Well, arr&bee might be up for playing a couple of extra parts...
At this rate, EVERYONE will be playing two parts LOL
I've got my hands full with these vultures[these birds are tough]it seems the leps are trying to buy thier way into the screen actors guild and block the making of this classic movie,but i've contacted the..elves..muchkins..fairies and i found ned the wino to guard the gate..[if i can keep him sober]now the buzzards are talking about a percentage of the gate[they know it's gonna be a blockbuster]i'm tryin to get judge judy to issue a writ of e pluribus unum to stop those leps from taking over.
Those vultures will take control of this production over my dead body. Or somebody's dead body. [[Forgot that they like dead bodies...)
We could still make a lot of money even when we're dead......
I'll have to leave a forwarding address so my relatives will know where to send it...
They could perhaps bring it with them later. They say you can't take your money with you when you go, so I'm taking my credit card.
I'll apply for a Visa Dead Card when I get there. I'll do it on day one so that I can get it before my credit is ruined there too...
Don't worry on my Account.
I won't take on anything which is too taxing.
That's your business!
Charity begins at home....
That's very nice of you. I accept your kind invitation of free board and lodging.
Once the neighbourhood knows you're in residence, I'll make a good return from anyone wanting to run a 'SDF Stars Home Tour' bus past this place.
Of course, I won't be able to move in until after I return from Hawaii.
After your research for the movie is completed, of course.
Don't forget we'll need you back to rehearse for your part.....
It's gonna be soooooo good... Wait! Who's paying for the Hawaii trip? We may have to raise ticket prices...
It will be hard to raise 144man, once he hits Hawaii.
Think 'this section is closed'........
And a potential theme for the sequel to the film is touched upon. It starts with 144man going to Hawaii in search of arr&bee. When 144man turns off his phone, Jerry Oz goes to Hawaii in search of him [[out of concern for his well being, of course; not because Oz has always wanted to go to Hawaii for relaxation...). Of course, Jerry has no phone to begin with and he doesn't stay in his hotel room, preferring to sleep on the beaches. So, WGB has to go to Hawaii to find Jerry. At this point, moe realizes there is an echo every time she types a new reply until VOICE joins her and she's all alone with arr&bee's subconscious!
Scary, ain't it?!
Hey good news,judge judy wasn't in so i found judge roy bean and he gave the leps a writ of cum laudem demagnification,which means they can't get in the way of this classic blockbuster...[boy are they hot]..um i don't know about that zombie thing i was thinking more of family like...hoochie and the beast,that's classy.
Aloha. The main aim of my trip to Hawaii is still to find the source of Jai's hooch. The appeal is going well. The good news is that my collection tin now contains five pennies, four cents, three euros, two chocolate buttons and a macadamia nut, so I'm well on my way to not miss failing to reach my target. The search will take in the Big Island, the Small Island, the Not-So-Big Island, the Titchi Island and the Blinkandyou'llmissit Island. If I can't find the hooch it will be some consolation just getting leied. Aloha.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SEARCH 144MAN,THROUGHOUT HISTORY EXPLORERES SUCH AS YOUR SELF HAVE SEARCHED IN VAIN FOR THE SECRECT...MAGELLAN..YOU ALL WERE TAUGHT THAT COLUMBUS SAILED LOOKING FOR THE NEW WORLD,HAAAAAA HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE SECRECT WHEN HE STUMBLED ACROSS THE NEW WORLD...LEWIS AND CLARK WENT WEST LOOKING FOR IT,WHY A CIVIL WAR WAS WAGED..THE NORTH SAID THEY HAD IT AND SO DID THE SOUTH[NEITHER DID]..WHY THE BOSTON TEA PARTY WASN'T ABOUT TEA BEING DUMPED IT WAS HOOCH THAT WAS DUMPED AND THE FOLKS AT THE TAVERN WASN'T TOO HAPPY,WHY IN 1969 THE PRESIDENT SENT A MISSION TO THE MOON TRYING TO FIND IT...[but the moonmen were so drunk they couldn't be found]SO GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND...YOU'LL NEED IT.
I have a hooch hunch that 144man won't at all mind looking in Hawaii for something he won't find.
But that does give me an idea for the plot of another sequel.
Hmmmm. We're going to need a lot of extras.......
Bad news. When I told my wife I was looking forward to getting lei'd in Hawaii she went absolutely ballistic. I guess she doesn't like island flowers as much as I do. If I can't sneak out, then I'm afraid 144man will be on his own...
"Oh SHAME!!", I can hear 144man saying....
Screw Hawaii. It was nearly 70° today in Columbus [[20° in the old country).
"There's no place like home!"
Oh yes, that just has to go in the screenplay. The munchkins will love it....
We can save money by lodging them in lunch boxes instead of hotel rooms. Little people are great for budget-conscious movie producers.