I suppose there might be a corresponding number of people found fully-tanked of bottle-y fluids in the night....or do you think arr&bee's hooch empire is a self "well thank you, I don't mind if I do" serving operation...?
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I suppose there might be a corresponding number of people found fully-tanked of bottle-y fluids in the night....or do you think arr&bee's hooch empire is a self "well thank you, I don't mind if I do" serving operation...?
It probably is. He always appears to be quite willing to share that magical elixur.
While there's none to share, that is.
It's another interpretation of 'generosity of spirit'....!
If he is a purveyor of virtual spirits, does it stand to reason to believe that he is spiritual?
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...hoochpire[classic]yep and i lie awake in a hooch soaked coffin i'm a regular count hoochula.
I gotta get the movie rights to that... That is a blockbuster if it is shown in hooch vision on the big screens.
I'll do the screenplay for a very modest sum, but I've a real keen eye on those residuals.
Now we are getting someplace! Hopefully arr&bee can produce the movie [[and star in it) since he'll have to [[finally) produce the hooch and presumably drink it. A lesser man would wilt on camera from trying to handle such a wondrous substance.
Let's hope arr&bee can nail his scenes with the hooch in just one take. Otherwise, production of the movie, let alone the hooch, is doomed.
I forsee hazardous difficulties. The cost of insurance will be horrendous, as arr&bee's hooch must be the only liquid ever known which requires a burning fuse.
If you think that all sounds like an exaggeration, you've not yet read my script....
I'm dying to see this movie made. No hyperbole intended. If we make this movie, we'll probably all die.
Movies are best seen in the dark, so no change there......
If hooch is involved, you can to the drive in but they'll probably have to carry you out...
Well, it's one way of dumping a date, and getting a lift home from someone else.....
Uhhh... Are you speaking from experience on that last one?
No....just my imagination, after observing other people's behaviour.
The only drive-in I've ever visited is a car wash!
I thought that the onion was peeling back a layer there for a moment... Next thing I know, you'll be putting agent 007 to shame for secrets.
Why yes Jerry, people DO have a habit of telling me their life story! LOL
I thought for a minute there I was finding out something new about you... Leaving drunken dates at the movies and catching rides home with friends? That would have been a stark reinterpretation of who I thought you to be although I have formerly associated with men who would do that and laugh about it the next day.
If the scenario had ever happened, I would have made arrangements to get a drunken date home - even if it had meant paying for a taxi to take them home, instead of taking them home.
The most decisive action I ever needed to take, to bring my time with someone else to an abrupt full stop, was to get out of a car in which I was a passenger, while it was still moving, just as the driver slowed before the traffic lights then went from red to green ....
Hah! I once left a date in the middle of an screaming argument between her and her ex, who had stopped by without first calling. It was one of those "who is he?!" situations, with the "he" being Jerry. I always have wondered at which point they noticed that I had left.
Plainly, 'she' did not become Mrs Oz.......:)
Thank God, no! Mrs. Oz had the good sense to wait until I was done with school before she complicated my life. I met her three weeks after graduation [[a year after the aforementioned ghetto spat), which was coincidentally, three weeks after she was able to legally enter the nightclub with her own ID.
She got off to a good start, then...
Not really. She was using a friend's ID before she turned 21, so she was technically breaking the law to enter the clubs three weeks before we met.
I'm writing the screenplay as we speak,hmm let's see...it was a dark and gloomy night at the toxic waste site and only the buzzards were alive...this is golden turkey stuff.
Can we dress doves up in buzzard suits? Buzzard handlers cost a lot more than dove handlers and we are on a budget. I figure we can use my cousin Sandi's chili recipe for the toxic waste site. We'll have to get EPA approval though, because Sandi's chili is actually toxic waste.
But so far, I'm in rapt attention...
As if there hasn't been enough problems with the weather, Air Pollution levels in London today reached "Hazardous".
If you were a dove in London today, it quickly became "Buzzardous".
arr&bee, keep up the good work, but I'm also creating a screenplay, just to keep you on your toes [[or whatever it is that you have on the end of your legs)
You're the main star [[well, for as long as you keep your fees reasonable), playing the latest incarnation of Dr Hooch, and in a maniacal style. [[who would have thought it?) You live in Italy. You've made so much hooch, and have kept it a secret for so long, that storage is becoming a real problem. That, and maintaining your sanity.
Your reservoir of that wonderful elixur has overflowed. [[gasp)The canals have become full of the hooch you've made, but people are out to drain those canals [[another gasp) And for free! It becomes a desperate struggle of good over evil, but you do have a girl group, the Juliehoochettes, on your side. Whenever things do become a bit fraught, you all sing.....
Your main adversary is the evil Signor Jereboam [[played very much against type by Jerry Oz, with a prayer before each performance, and also a keen eye on the Oscar nominations), and his cohorts, The Romeos. The hooch he can't drink, he wants to contaminate. A dastardly plan!!! And then he sings....
Signor Jereboam stands threateningly on one side of the canal. Dr Hooch stands on the other - while the Romeos and The JulieHoochettes face down each other, across the waves of hooch. And then they all sing....
The love interest comes in the form of Patti LaCake - a sweet and homely body. She and her evil twin sister Oblivion ,'The Fortune Cookie' [[and who insists on calling Patti 'The Unfortunate Cookie", just to upset her) are both played by Moe. [[She's seen life from both sides). Patti & Oblivion are borne along on the gentle swell of the hooch by gondolas.
They meet face to face in the canal, between Dr Hooch, Signor Jereboam, The Romeos & The JulieHoochettes. And then everybody sings......[[by this time,of course, Moe is literally beside herself...)
The narrator, known as 'The Prompter' [[but who is often late, and flatly refuses to do matinees) is played by 144man. He sits to one side of the proceedings,with a nice pot of tea and a mountain of custard creams. He has great knowledge. A sort of Dumbledore of The Hooch, if you like.He addresses the audience, and describes in great detail what is going on [[just as well, as no-one in the production has an utter clue). And then, he sings.....
Ohhhhhh, they're going to LOVE it in Trenton, New Jersey!!:D
Two questions that beg answers: 1 Which of us is supposed to be the bad guy, again? My agent will want certain redeeming qualities written into the script if it is me. [[Can't allow my future roles to be tainted by typecasting after what I foresee to be a buzzworthy performance). 2. Keeping an eye on expenses, would moe receive double salary for her part? If so, I propose we pay her half of union scale before we double it to make it affordable.
Arr&bee is portrayed doing his best for mankind, so you get to be the bad guy. Redeeming qualities are being worked on....
Your agent called. I knew immediately it was him, as he reversed the charges....
Another screenplay is now being written for you, where you star as an angel. We need to broaden your appeal.
Moe's screen time is less than some of the other parts, but still extremely effective. Her vocal duels between twin sisters Patti LaCake and Oblivion are a high point of the movie. Besides which, Moe can't work too much at the moment, as she has to get up in the middle of the night, to go to her current work..and when she's done that, she's too tired to tackle much of anything.....but all that will change when she becomes a star....
I will do my part. Film her as she is talking in her sleep and I will do her vocals. Anything to help...
Good idea. Yes, you do the vocals for Oblivion. Well, if Andy Williams can dub for Lauren Bacall.....
For Patti LaCake, Marni Nixon says she's only a phone call away.....
I'm champing at the bit for this project... I already quit my job.
That's taking "I'm available!!!" a little too literally.
A producer needs to be found.
And I wonder where arr&bee has gone.....
I'm down here at central casting,um that part about those doves as buzzards is a no no see the buzzards union[yes they have one]is talking about a flyout which is like a walkout except they fly out,i'm sitting here with thier lawyer[dirtybird]this bird's a real vulture[who else could represent buzzards?]also there's another unforseen problem,it seems the lepracauns own one tenth of zero percent of the studio and they want thier cut.
Tell them this is going to be a big movie, and there's no time for dealing with the little people.....and we'll find another studio....
Those leprechauns are green with envy over my ticket to stardom. Oops... I mean our collaborative venture.
I've been thinking.
As a stark portrayal of Oblivion the Fortune Cookie's sheer malevolence, it could be good if she had a group of buzzards, with whom she conferred while hatching up a sinister plot. She could call them 'The Committee'. They would, of course, always have to agree with her.
Visually, I must say that vultures would have been even better, but if the buzzards are available, and can give it some attitude.....
And maybe the leprechauns could play 'The Romeos', pandering to Signor Jereboam's every whim....whether they be green with envy, or make-up......
If you insist on buzzards, I will talk to a few record company representatives to see if they want to be in a movie... Warning: Do NOT let them draw up their own contracts.
I'm only writing the screenplay, so will have to leave the legal stuff to more qualified people...but, as always in these situations, and as you say......which ones :confused:
You think vultures might perhaps be more trustworthy?