Twas the night before christmas-a hoochtale

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,not a creature was sober,not even the mouse no stockings were hung by the chimney with care,we were all too drunk to get any upthere with ma in her curlers and and me under the bed no sugur plum in his right mind would dare dance over my head,when up on the roof i heard such a clatter i woke my wife so she could go see what was the matter,a man in a red suit was there and moving so fast,i went for my shotgun to take a shot at his ass,but off he went and as he rode out of sight my stash was missing as so was my wife...merry xmas sdf!!

That is very clever, and very funny.

Wait a minute. Was your hooch in your stash that he stole? Call the cops. He's probably flying that sled while three sheets to the wind and as we all know, that can be dangerous.