"Put that salt shaker down, young man! Did you even taste it yet?"
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Boy go to your room and wait for me...meaning-my butt is toast!!
Whipping time refrain: "Go out there and get me a switch!!!" Eddie Murphy immortalized those moments in his '80's stand-up comedy.
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That was the one EVERY mom said: "You eat like you've got a tapeworm!" - I also got: "Watch out! The guy with the hollow leg is back! He eats anything that's not nailed down!" "Slow down! You eat like The Russians are in [[fill in a neighbourhood or suburb nearby to your house) I got St. Boniface[[next town over from Winnipeg), and "South Shore", when we were in South Chicago.
Yes, my mom yelled at me to not run with that because I'll poke my eyes out. I also go the"Your room looks like it was hit by a cyclone!"
ALL moms say ALL of those lines. Nobody ever said "He couldn't pee straight!" when I was a kid. But, unfortunately, they could say it about me NOW, and be accurate. :[[
Another Mom-ism:"[[Fill in an almost unbelievable factoid)..will make your head swim!"
Deep cut: Mister, no dessert until that plate's CLEAN!" Unfortunately, we didn't have dogs then .
I'm approaching my 60's, very cautiously, but have always been under 200lbs.
My favorite - "Where's it all going?! To your feet?!"
Pops...well i'll be a monkey's uncle!
Another Dad classic: Beauty's only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone!
You can't judge a book by its cover!
Moms to you...mamas little man!
Mom- Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Mom..boy we can't afford that,do you think your name is-eisenhower,roosevelt or truman!
Pop[before you went out on a date]son,you got money in your pocket?
One of my Mom's favorite stories was when I was about 4-years old and banging on the bathroom door for my Dad to come out. "Take it easy," said Pops. "Are your pockets dry?"
"Yeah," I replied. "But they have holes in them!"
Parents Hall of Fame ditty: "Do I look like a bank to you"? or "You think I'm made of money"? In third place - " Money don't grow on trees, ya know". " Let me go out back to the money tree". Cause us kids always wanted something our parents couldn't afford.
Me: The sun's out.
Dad: What about the daughter?
Me: It's not fair.
Dad: No, look how dark it is.
Me: I did it by accident.
Dad: You mean accidently on purpose.
So infuriating to hear them time after time, but oh how I miss them now.
My Pops is responsible for my fixation on jokes. Dad told me so many inappropriate jokes when I was a boy. I could write a five volume book with the jokes I've learned since then.
Here's something my mom use to say when I was a kid whenever my Dad was leaving the house when he was off work. "Go with him so he'll come back........." LOL!
My mother would say this even in front of other people. "With you kids all I do all day is say Stop, quit, behave until I'm ready to pass out!"
My father use to say this "Oh you say that now, wait until you get to be my age!".
Did anybody post the infamous "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"? For some reason, that line worked remarkably well with me.
I'm wetting mine just reading this...oh i just spilled some hooch,hehe!!
You guys had compassionate folks. We just got hit with whatever was in reach. Like Eddie Murphy said, "...throw a shoe like Clint Eastwood [[he made that familiar whistle)... ok let's go"! [[to his father)
I got my first paddling in school, in the Kindergarten with one of these:
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Mom[to me]do you think that trash is gonna take itself out?