By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 12:21 pm:

Sorry if this has been posted here before,but it reminded me of some of the current discussions here.

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: 422.

1 to change the lightbulb and post it to the forum that the bulb has been changed.

14 to respond and share similar experiences.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing lightbulbs.

27 to point out spelling and grammatical errors in postings about changing lightbulbs.

53 to flame the spell-checkers.

156 to write to the administrator and complain to the moderators about the lightbulb discussion and its inappropriateness to the forum.

111 to defend the relevance of the lightbulb discussion.

27 to post website addresses where one can see different examples of lightbulbs.

14 to complain that the website addresses are incorrect and post correct ones.

12 to "leave the forum forever" because they can't handle the lightbulb controversy.

By Vickie (198.81.26.170) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 12:32 pm:

HAHAHAHA

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 12:45 pm:

I'm sure we can round this out to a even 500.

4 To insist that the original poster didn't really change the bulb.

3 To claim it is all a conspiracy by the light bulb industry.

7 To insult the original poster and assume to have complete understanding of them and "their kind" after one post from them.

3 TO SAY THAT CAPS OR CERTAIN FONTS "SOUND" A CERTAIN WAY OR HURT THEIR EYES EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE EASIER TO READ!

5 To hi-jack posts

More?

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 12:46 pm:

Amazing!! How did you know I get 156 e-mail complaint letters on controversial issues?
Some of you forum members are way to sharp for me.

By Blondie (198.81.26.170) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 12:48 pm:

Don't even get the Blonde started on how to work the ladder to change the light bulb
..

that's a whole nuther story

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:03 pm:

Ahhh but you're a whole nother blond, Blondie.

By musicchef (68.104.25.189) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:15 pm:

Make it 501... Add the forum user who just has to post an image of the lightbulb when it was at its brightest...

Da Chef

By douglasm (68.113.13.31) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:18 pm:

add....
....502 (a) (B) (c)...the forum user who has a later picture of said lightbulb, and takes three tries to post it.....

doug

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:23 pm:

503-To start a list of songs with Light Bulb in them!

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:25 pm:

For the math whizes out there we're only really at 447

By John Lester (81.129.104.214) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:27 pm:

You missed out any comment from Ralph!!

lol

By gdwms (67.97.33.140) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 01:54 pm:

I really don't like it when a topic drifts away from the original title line.

By FRANCIS T (195.92.67.74) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:01 pm:

Don,t forget the 25 northern soul dee jays who all claim they first discovered the lightbulb.How many light bulbs did the TORCH in Stoke have?Yes I think that proves northern soul first invented the light bulb!!!
STop me now I think I am in my filament with this one.
Oh yes .Don,t forget the 20 musicians who still haven,t been paid for changing the lightbulb the first time around

All the best FRANCIS T>

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:06 pm:

Which would answer the question of how many forum members prefer to set a room on fire rather than change a light bulb to shed light on a subject.

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:14 pm:

Funkyone:
Don't forget the number of reissue producers it would take to get the light bulb remastered and the liner note writers to tell the story from the light bulb's perspective!
Kevin Goins - KevGo

By Ritchie (62.254.0.34) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:15 pm:

Sorry, you're all wrong. I believe the definitive answer to all of this can be found in issue 46 of Bulbs & Soul.

By Ritchie (62.254.0.34) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:30 pm:

You think I'm kidding..?

By MEL&THEN SOME (217.14.178.23) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:31 pm:

I saw another answer in
that great magazine on a par with Bulbs and Soul
called Bulbs from the ghetto.
mel(the lights are on but no-ones home)

By Ritchie (62.254.0.34) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:32 pm:

or even...

By MEL&THEN SOME (217.14.178.23) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:34 pm:

Ritchie
Nice pic of
Bulb and the Filaments on the cover.
mel.

By douglasm (68.113.13.31) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:41 pm:

Didn't they burn out after a couple of LP's?

add....539...the poster that asks the completely irrellevent question, or introduces a side topic worthy of its own thread.

By Ritchie (62.254.0.34) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:43 pm:

The way I heard it, the group split after the lead singer came unscrewed...

By john c (12.2.233.107) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:49 pm:

Hey, I thought CK changed the bulb.

By Taras Bulba (64.12.97.7) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 02:54 pm:

The mystery person is Izzy Filament.
They had a 'Northern" version of You Light Up My Life.

By Ritchie (62.254.0.34) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:00 pm:

Their best-known cut was "Our Love Is In The Socket" later revived by Darrell Banks.

By MEL&THEN SOME (217.14.178.23) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:06 pm:

Also there version of
'pick me up and screw me in the socket'
yet another lightening sound that I think was revived as
'pick me up and put me in your pocket'
yet another one that was destroyed by those god-damn boot-leggers.
Mel(the man from watts)

By Eddie Welk, Dim Bulb (12.47.224.13) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:07 pm:

Don't forget "Our Love Is Fading" and "A Glimmer Of Hope" by the Ray-O-Vacs...

By Taras Bulba (64.12.97.7) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:12 pm:

The original former female member was Meg A. Watts.
She was fired for screwing former manager Tony Candelabra.

By SILLY LILLY (217.14.178.23) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:15 pm:

Taras Bulba
I just knocked over my beautiful expensive table lamp after that hysterical post.
yours in fits of laughter
Lilly(of the Lamp)

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:40 pm:

Hope you didn't break any bulbs Lilly.

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:56 pm:

Bulbs & Soul Magazine....isn't that the sister publication of Billbulb & Cashbulb Magazines?
Kevin Goins - KevGo

By SILLY LILLY (217.14.178.3) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 04:10 pm:

Ooh Ralph
you are a one
thank you for your concern,
but as I broke my lamp I am now known as Lilly of the broken Lamp.
yours embarrasingly
Silly(dizzie)Lilly.
not very bright!!!!!

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 04:22 pm:

Lilly,
Perhaps I can send over 4 or 500 forum members to replace the broken bulbs.

By FRANCIS T (195.92.168.169) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 04:29 pm:

Didn,t the SHADES of Blue cover some of the light bulb songs mentioned?Or was it the Lamp Sisters?Does anyone remember the classic Williams/Watson I,d rather light than switch?

Please don,t keep me in the dark about these important questions.Enlighten me.

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 04:42 pm:

Now I know what Jim Morrison was talking about when he sang " Come on baby light my fire. " He just wanted somone to come and change his light bulbs. What a dink!

By STUBASS (206.135.204.254) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 04:49 pm:

HEY RALPH!!!...AT LEAST YOU'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT JIMBO HAD *SOME* REDEEMING VALUE...HE WAS LIT UP!!!!...STU

By Eli (64.12.97.7) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 05:05 pm:

Q. How many a&r men does it take to screw in a light bulb??

A. I don't know..what do you think??

By medusa (66.73.6.174) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 07:10 pm:

It all depends on how well it fits, and if it don't fit, don't force it. It's better 2 screw it nice an slow, so it can ease N the hole, otherwise if U screw it 2 fast, it might pop...and then it's all over... Now we all know how thin bulbs R and the do break easy, so one must B very careful how U handle it~~~~~~~~~~~

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 07:12 pm:

Hey Medusa,
Should we start humming "Love Won't Let Me Wait" ?
Kevin Goins - KevGo

By medusa (66.73.6.174) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 08:10 pm:

Hey Kev,

I'm a very Romantic Person, but where was YOUR mind at Kev? hahahahaha

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 08:24 pm:

Medusa:
It was YOU who originally said on the Bobby Eli thread that the song got you into some "trouble" - the kind of trouble you liked
So, don't look at me....
Kevin "Holding Up The Mirror At Medusa" Goins - KevGo

By 1 Off-topic Wicked (66.27.27.22) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 08:49 pm:

(Q) How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb ??


(A) None. The keyboard guy guy can do it with his left hand.

By medusa (66.73.6.174) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 09:01 pm:

Alrighty Kev, I said 'ALMOST' got N2 trouble and what does that have 2 do with Light Bulbs...and err... Love Wont Let Me Wait? LOL, hahahahahaha
The real is Kev, I couldn't resist the light bulb thing...I just had 2 say it~~~~~~~~~
I guess U can say my mind is N the Gutter...
ooooooooooo shhhhhhhhhhh, Kev, don't tell amyone.
LMAO~

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 09:18 pm:

Medusa:
There's no such thing as "almost" - either you did or you didn't.

As for the mind being in the gutter - you said it, not me.

Kevin "Tell It Like It Is" Goins - KevGo

By Julian (152.163.252.68) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 12:06 am:

When did light bulbs first become a theme in Soul music?

By medusa (66.73.7.254) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 08:41 am:

Hey Kev,

There IS such a thing called almost.
N fact there was a song titled "Not Quite But Almost" who recorded that record Mr. DJ???
hahahaha
Kev, I have very good control. Everything was right except the person...I didn't want 2 B a sandwich with him, but just a steak on the side, next 2 the baked potatoes and the roll. U know sometimes a friendship with some is better than a love relationship with others...no games, I'm 2 old 4 that, but I also know what's right 4 me.
aww come on Kev, I'm sure U've been N a situation and when it got 2 a certain point, you just couldn't go there 4 whatever reason.
I still have a few innocent bones let N my body LOL! as 4 the light bulb thing, I can't unscrew them when they're 2 hot, when they cool off, I can put my hands all over them and screw them N, but one must make sure your hands aren't wet and nothing is plugged N, because U may get the explosion of your life..I think they call that a screw and go~~~~hehehe, but Kev I'm still trying 2 figure out SD Forum and the light bulb theory, is there really a connection? or some ones' trying 2 B sarcastic about a certain topic? Talk 2 me Kev.

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 10:04 am:

Medusa,
It may be time for you and Kev to get a room.

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 10:53 am:

I wasn't trying to be sarcastic and as far as I'm aware there's no direct relation to light bulbs and Soul music.It was a funny list of things that are common to all forums,so I posted it.Hope that sheds some light on my original motivations. ;)
Where the thread goes from here,just drives the points home and demonstrates that different people are here for different reasons.Some are here to talk about Soul music,others to find romance or friends,to be court jesters or just stir up S**t.

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:01 am:

Ralph:
Don't worry, my friend. I'll behave.

Funkyone:
Your point was made, amigo! It goes to show what personalities we have out here.

Medusa:
I think you need a cold shower, my dear.

Kevin Goins - KevGo

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:12 am:

Kevin,
I'm not worried about a thing pal. I'll even play Cupid and pay for the room.

By Blondie (198.81.26.170) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:33 am:

I'm still trying to work the ladder,
I'll get to the light bulb eventually..


Blondie

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.96) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 11:36 am:

Blondie,

Try turning the bulb instead of turning the ladder.Much easier!

By Blondie (198.81.26.170) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 12:28 pm:

Ahhhhh (light bulbs just went off in my brain)

so that helps huh?

I will try that now

By Blondie (198.81.26.170) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 12:33 pm:

I am now trying to configure a pully/drawstring system to get the light bulbs up the ladder to wear I am standing now..

I think it will work

much easier this way! Thank You Funky Dollar

By Blondie (64.236.243.31) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 01:51 pm:

UPDATE!!

I have hoisted 3 of the 4 light bulbs up. I am changing the light bulbs in a ceiling fan and it's rather dangerous with the blades whipping around my head...

May be the last time you hear from me.

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 02:05 pm:

Uhhhh, Blondie..
Have you thought of maybe turning off the the ceiling fan before even getting on the ladder.

It beats being turned into confetti..

Kevin Goins - KevGo

By Baldy (64.236.243.31) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 02:22 pm:

To Kevin & Funky Dollar,

PROJECT DONE!!!!

My new name:

Baldy

By KevGo (64.115.26.80) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 02:39 pm:

Ouch!
Kevin Goins - KevGo

By 65memories (66.72.178.134) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 02:51 pm:

You guys have got to save this thread in the archives forever. The greatest bit of satire seen here in a long time. And much needed. Thanks.

By Ralph (209.240.198.62) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 03:01 pm:

Yeah 65,
Every once in a while it's good just to get goofy.

By B. Foster (209.219.207.3) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 03:23 pm:

This was satire?

By Funkyone D J Dollar BILL (216.221.81.98) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 10:12 pm:

My own personal bulb.;)
http://www.avidlearner.com/Main/prd-light-bulb.jpg

By Funkyone D J Dollar BULB (216.221.81.96) on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 10:14 pm:

Sorry posted that under the wrong name!

By janebse (68.63.5.177) on Friday, August 08, 2003 - 04:59 pm:

This thread is priceless.

By Blondie (64.236.243.31) on Friday, August 08, 2003 - 05:43 pm:

it was mucho fun!