Rihanna's Battleship Debut: Another Big Screen Crash

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Read Rihanna's entire Battleship dialogue


D.I.S.H.
Rihanna's Battleship dialogue is 68 lines in total - read them all!


May 22, 2012

Rihanna's much ballyhooed big-screen acting debut wasn't enough to keep Battleship afloat.

The Avengers topped the box office again this week, sinking the board-game-inspired flick off the pier with nearly double the take: $55.1 million to $25.3 million. Battleship's is the worst domestic opening ever for a movie with a reported budget of at least $200 million, according to CNN — Universal spent $209 million on the picture.

Yikes.

Amusingly, New York magazine's Vulture blog reports that Rihanna's entire performance consisted of exactly 68 lines, most of which are short exclamations of one sort or another.

Here are all of Rihanna's 68 lines from Battleship, as reported by Vulture:

'What's wrong with you drama queen?'

'Get up princess! Come on!'

'Typical'

'Shut up. Shut up.'

'Oh, this gon' be sweet. He hates the man.'

'You go mess with him and see what happens!'

'Chicken!'

'Kentucky Fried Chicken!'

'You look like Colonel Sanders, actually.'

'Yo Saunders, ever been in a department run by some kind of Donald Trump/Mike Tyson mutant combo?'

'Nothing, sir.'

'If you did, it was only in reference to the fact the you both project great physical intensity, sir.'

'I got something sir, on my camera.'

'I don't know.'

'Is this some kind of exercise?'

'You ever seen anything like this?'

'Weird, man.'

'Real bad idea, Lieutenant.'

'Lieutenant, get up.'

'Lieutenant.'

'Come on, you with me?'

'Come on, squared away?'

'What the hell is that?'

'Ahhhhhhh!'

'Ahhhhhhh!'

'What happened?'

'What?'

'Who's in charge?'

'Fire control's offline. I need three minutes.'

'[[Heavy sigh)'

'My dad said they'd come. Said it my whole life. He said one day we'd find them, or they'd find us. Know what else he said? He said, I hope I ain't around when that day comes.'

'No sir!'

'Nothing sir, nothing.'

'Yo, hey!'

'Come on, come on, come on.'

'Mahalo, motherf—–'

'What the hell is that?'

'Sir.'

'Roger, Echo 1-1.'

'Box 24. Ready to fire.'

'India 3-7, locked.'

'Sir, we're hot over here. We're good to go, let's light 'em up.'

'Tango 1-9, loaded.'

'Whiskey 2-5.'

'Negative, sir, it's moving all over the place. I can't get a line on it.'

'Sucker's really jumping around.'

'40 minutes sir.'

'Contact is seven minutes out and closing fast.'

'Contact two miles out.'

'Contact ETA 21 seconds.'

'Boom.'

'Yeah!'

'Get up!'

'Let's go!'

'Go, go, go!'

'Yes, sir.'

'Oh yes sir.'

'Awesome.'

'Sir, we'll be in weapons range in 5 minutes.'

'Aimed at target.'

'Sir, that's the wrong direction!'

'Sir.'

'Coordinates.'

'Elevation.'

'Come on, take the picture, Beast.'

'Navy!'

'Come on, Hopper!'

'Look dapper!'