I need your prayers

[nomis]

recently we discussed Karen Carpenter in a couple of threads..I was going to send Rob a book on her illness..however I cant part with the book yet..I need it..
Over the past couple of months Annorexia has come into my life..Ive been fighting it as best as I can but I need proffessional help..Luckily through reading that wonderful book twice over the years I have an understanding of my illness..pain,sadness and grief Ive never come to terms with has manifested in this way..
can you guys say a prayer for me? im seeing doctors this week and Im determined to lick this thing...nobody in hometown knows I dont want any attention I just want to understand why my mind is doing this to my body..Im a survivor and faced some real lows..but as I write this my body is shaking..i had a couple of good days where I made myself eat this week..but today it came back with a vengenance we had a terrible earthquake here in New Zealand and Ive listened to the most harrowing three days of radio reports our country is in turmoil and I need your support I dont want to be ill I want to healthy
Nomis

[ralpht]

We're pulling for you. Nomis. I'm sure the earthquakes are not making things easier for you. Hang in there and talk to us if you need to.

[nomis]

thanks Ralph..Im just so confused by this..its really wierd all I know is there a voice inside of me telling me not to eat..and the guilt I feel when I do eat..I never look in the mirror really now I find myself checking my apperance looking to be thinner..its like a secret game Im playing to function on just coffee and cigarettes..I wish i could explain it better I thought i made progress this week..I get to dj every week,I have wonderful family and friends and yet Im getting satisfaction by malnourishment...makes no sense to me

[MotownSteve]

Hi Nomis,
I wish you the best in this trying time.

[nomis]

thanks Steve but I cant blame the earthquake its triggered it today but this has been going on for months..one of my oldest friends Nicole - shes had a eating disorder for the last 10 years..weve never discussed it but I know shes starved herself she came over to my apartment last week to make some cds and we finally brought it up after all these years but it was like ok we have a pact to starve ourselfs..I cant believe I actually said that but we were bonding over mutual illness..like a secret club..this whole thing baffles me because Ive had a couple of great jobs Ive walked away from and a bad relationship and Im sad about those things but Ive never acknowledged how angry they obviously made me to act like this..its lashing out at the world because I must feel out of control so i control my body..I only know this because i read The Carpenters book twice and its such a good book,,I just never figured my sadness would become a body issue..I thank god i read that book and a alarm has gone off in my head after months of denial im scared to think anymore the conversation I had with my friend Nicole is really disturbing

[tamla617]

nomis
on the plus side you've taken the big step of seeking medical help,well done.
best wishes.like ralph said there is a place here for you to talk.
i forgot you're a "kiwi"!thoughts with the people of christchurch too,"little britain".
good luck,be strong.

[nomis]

thanks tamla my doctor was suspicous but I covered it up - another classic symptom - lying.. hes been my doctor for 17 years so Im going to see him as soon as I can and tell the truth I havent worked hard all my life for this quality of life im gonna fight this and win
New Zealand will pull through this disaster we are a remarkable breed..

[sophisticated_soul]

New Zealand will pull through and so will you. You are part way there already. You know there's a problem. You've admitted it and are seeking help. That's the biggest chunk right there. You're trying to understand the mechanism of your illness, while so many in your same situation don't even understand that there is a mechanism. And you've got a handle on the anger issue. You are ahead of the curve. I'm not saying that there isn't any hard work up ahead, there is. But you may not know how far along the road you are already. You can do this. Much love, JOsEph:)

[satipe]

Just finished a prayer for you and will continue to do so. You keep up that fight Nomis!

[juicefree20]

Nomis:

It seems to me as though you've made a great deal of progress overall.

The most important factor & one which serves to make things easier for you & your recognition & desire to change things for the better. Your admission of these various trials is important because it shows that you recognize that there's something wrong, you're admitting that something's wrong & that's the first step to overcoming it, because without that admission, there's no help forth-coming.

I join everyone else in praying that you'll beat this & any & everything that threatens your health & well-being.

May God bless & God Speed!

[nomis]

thanks guys..ive turned off the radio for now and rested Im going to work in a few hours so that will help also..Ive been alone in my apartment for days just listening to the more and more gruesome reports hardly the best move for someone facing eating issues but I feel hope im also going to see a very old friend of mine called Cindy Of Samoa she will offer me some wisdom -you might have seen her on Oprah she does a Tina Turner tribute act..she wants me to do some dj work at her club I will let her know what Ive been going through she is one of the most respected figures in the pacific islands and a great person to seek for spiritual guiding xx

[tomato tom]

Nomis...Try and say positive..Im Thinking positive for you...Paulo xxxx

[marv2]

Get well Nomis......Fight it! All the best.

Marv

[jobeterob]

Poor Nomis.....................we are all thinking of you. I did recently hear an interview saying that when you are in periods of stress, it is good therapy to sit down and write it all out; sometimes it then doesnt seem so bad. Talking is important too. Best of luck in the struggle.

[Koach]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Nomis.

[Roberta75]

When prayers go up Norris, blessings come down. You are in my prayers and I know God will help you lick this.

The book of Psalms let us know what God's will is concerning illness. "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases"

[destruction]

is this helping you?

[nomis]

Yes it is Ive started taking medication and had a good talk with my doctor I had a rough day yesterday but I managed to eat two proper meals through the day which is the first in a long time..as we know there aint no quick fix Ive got alot of therapy to dig deeper..thank you all for your support Im taking a break from djing as the late nights only add to the physical tiredness..just focusing on re building my strength through nutrition..Im gonna get on top of this..thank guys x

[sophisticated_soul]

Yes it is Ive started taking medication and had a good talk with my doctor I had a rough day yesterday but I managed to eat two proper meals through the day which is the first in a long time..as we know there aint no quick fix Ive got alot of therapy to dig deeper..thank you all for your support Im taking a break from djing as the late nights only add to the physical tiredness..just focusing on re building my strength through nutrition..Im gonna get on top of this..thank guys x

Keep on keepin' on, nomis!

[nomis]

thank you feel like my life is like a toy building bricks infront of me its..all just fallen down and Im looking at building it piece by piece.its 12,30 time for my glucose..then in an hour medication then my liquid drops. a schedule to follow..trying to just read but my concentration is not good this is gonna be a long process of recovery

[topdiva1]

You can beat it!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are pulling for you!!!!!!!!!!

[theboyfromxtown]

Nomis

Try to take one day at a time.

Aim to have at least one REGULAR daily and proper meal and stick to that regime through thick and thin. Eat small mouthfuls and chew each mouthful. It needs to be natural food. Don't eat too much bread, since it bloats and might make you anxious. Take lots of fluids to continually wash it through.

Admitting it is a problem is a step in the right direction as has been said earlier. That's a big step. Well done. Let that settle in your mind and then move on to the next step...and in your own time....no pressure.

I have issues too but I am getting better even though once I didn't think it possible. Now I can recall how difficult is was last year and know that I have made some improvement, maybe not as much as I would like, but it's in the right direction. That gives me confidence to go a bit further.

Nomis..you are not alone. There are others who have to deal with this. Is there a group [[even if it is only on the internet) that you can join which allows discussions. You might find it comforting to learn of others and the techniques they use to help them get through their battle.

[Roberta75]

thanks tamla my doctor was suspicous but I covered it up - another classic symptom - lying.. hes been my doctor for 17 years so Im going to see him as soon as I can and tell the truth I havent worked hard all my life for this quality of life im gonna fight this and win
New Zealand will pull through this disaster we are a remarkable breed..

The truth shall set you free Norris. You are in my prayers and with your permission I will include you in our prayer circle at church on Sunday.

[chidrummer]

Prayers to you for the strength to fight something that you know is a serious threat to your health and well being. Maybe this will help further:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anorexia/DS00606/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

[nomis]

Roberta - please say a prayer at your church meeting I cant express how much you asking the lord the for help is a comfort.
Thanks John I didnt know about bread making you anxious - I will watch out for that
Iam seeing another doctor tomorrow and will ask about any support groups available the counseller Ive seen has encouraged me to write a diary which will be utilised in my treatment and allow him to consult another speacilist..
Childrummer thanks for the link I will read it now..

[theboyfromxtown]

Simon

Putting your thoughts on paper is excellent therapy. I swear by it. Sometimes I write a reply on here and get out all my frustration. Then when it's finished and I've decided it's ready to send, I delete it. I can't tell you how much I have benefited by simply putting my thoughts down on paper.

There is also a lot of benefit in being close to someone who is going through similar problems. I have a contact who I met at the hospital waiting room - we were waiting and passing small talk...then it went a bit further and we got on so well that we met after our appointments to talk more. Straight, married, female, with grown up daughters - who would have thought we would have got on so well...but we did and still do.

What have you eaten today?

[nomis]

thanks John I had a piece of bread with my medication this morning,this was before I read what you wrote about bread,then I just had a sausge roll for lunch but Im taking liquid medication through out the day and Ive planned fish and pasta later on for dinner.

[Roberta75]

Roberta - please say a prayer at your church meeting I cant express how much you asking the lord the for help is a comfort.

Many, many prayers will be offered up for you Norris.

May the good Lord give you the strength to heal from everything you are going through. The book of Jeremiah tells the truth. "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds," declares the Lord"

[theboyfromxtown]

Simon

I would post to you personally but your mail box is full...so I am gonna have to resort to this way.

Solely bread with medication is simply not good enough and you don't need me to tell you that. Do you....!

A sausage roll is worse. It's pastry and sausage which contains ends of meat plus bread. That's not feeding your body properly and you know it.

You can't cheat at this game....so let us focus on the task at hand. Nobody can function without proper nutrition.

Fish is fine, but where are the vegetables? Simon...veg goes right through you but it supplies your body with the nutrients. You can gorge yourself silly with vegetables because they go through your body quickly and you dont put on weight and it doesn't bloat. Drinking water flushes food out even quicker.

I hate drinking water....but Paul Nixon suggested I put in a little lime juice and it takes off that boring taste. Water is excellent for everything to do with your body.

Did you eat the fish and pasta.....how much of it did you leave?

When you eat, chew small mouthfuls and when you've finished eating. Wait at least 10 minutes to let it go down before you start puffing on that ciggie. And you know as well as I do, that cigarettes take away your appetite. So that make your task even harder. Just be aware of that.

[nomis]

thanks John Im not that educated on the benefits of various food groups..something else to learn..Im a 70s child brought up on the chip fat fry..nutrition was not a word you heard in Liverpool when I was growing up..in the last 48 hours Ive been eating sushi,beans,fried chicken and a nice hot potatoe..there must be some goodness in those things?..will sort out my mail box sorry I didnt get your message..thank you for your kindness..onward and upward x

[theboyfromxtown]

Simon

You ARE educated because you knew exactly what foods to eat! Now carry on that way.

I really would urge you to try and get regularity with meals. Decide meal times and when to start preparing them. Keep to it as much as you can.

One well known trait of Liverpudlians is that they don't give up.

[theboyfromxtown]

This is worrying me. I may not have met Simon in person but it upset me to see someone so down. Has anyone got a clue how he's doing. If anyone is in contact, please give him my best.