Okay gang, here is the new deal.....

[ralpht]

I've been reading your comments regarding the problems that arise from all things Supreme. When valued members talk of leaving Soulful Detroit because of the stupidity of some of these threads, then it is time for me to act.

Here is my proposal: Since I can't and won't ban any threads relating to all of the fine and talented women who are, or once were, part of the Supremes, I can play a little hard ball with anyone who creates a problem. Even the slightest. I will immediately delete the thread and PERMANENTLY ban the instigator.

I'm tired of the constant and senseless bickering that arises from these threads. Why this happens is beyond my understanding. I may not be able to understand it, but I can most certainly stop it.

So from this point on, any Supreme, Mary, Diana threads are to be interesting, informative and RESPECTFULL.
I hope we understand one another, because I am not kidding on this. All this bullshit stops now. don't believe me? Try me out.

[dba]

BRAVO! Ralph. Now I can safely come back into the Forum and read and share posts about my favorite label and my favorite ladies.
David

[ralpht]

And you're most welcomed and encouraged to do so David. Thank you.

[Jimi LaLumia]

good call, Ralph..

[ralpht]

Thanks Jim. Apparently it is the ONLY call. Kind of sad, huh?

[mindful1]

Thanks, I now might feel freer to post more often, in a respectful manner,which should be a given,

[thomas96]

Some sad sad people on this forum. Hope this works Ralph.

[marybrewster]

Thanks ralph.

I have a silly question though; when you "ban" a member, do you do it by IP address? Or all of the IP addresses listed by a profile? Or do you just ban the person my name? What would stop someone from starting a new profile? Because I know several people on this board have several different names. And I know several people have left, and have come back under a different name. I don't mean to stir the pot, just perhaps play devil's advocate.

[sophisticated_soul]

Thank you, Ralph. Thank you very much.:)

[jobeterob]

I think you've done the right thing. Good job.

[soulster]

Thank you Ralph!

[motown01]

Well done, sir. Let's get back to the music.

[ralpht]

Thank you for the support everyone. Mary, to answer your question. I could ban the IP address but I just usually ban the member. If that member chooses to come back under a new identity, as long as no trouble is made, I'm good with it.

I promise you guys I will do all I can to stop what has gone on. I'm as tired of it as all of you.

[144man]

I also agree, but I'd hate to see the day when members would be afraid to make the odd irreverent jest or to indulge in light-hearted banter.

[honest man]

Great Stuff Ralph,about time, cheers fella.

[longtimefan]

Thanks, Ralph. I agree 100%. Hopefully, more discussions can be about the MUSIC of Motown --not personalities. If someone chooses to scan down page 1 of SDF and look at the number of replies for most threads, they will notice fewer than 10 replies for most posts. This indicates to me that interest is diminishing in the forum. Thanks again, Ralph, for getting us back on the "good foot."
:-)

[marv2]

Thank you for the support everyone. Mary, to answer your question. I could ban the IP address but I just usually ban the member. If that member chooses to come back under a new identity, as long as no trouble is made, I'm good with it.

I promise you guys I will do all I can to stop what has gone on. I'm as tired of it as all of you.

Thank you Ralph!!!

[soulster]

I also agree, but I'd hate to see the day when members would be afraid to make the odd irreverent jest or to indulge in light-hearted banter.

They should be afraid to make any attack against another forum member. But, I think most people can tell the difference. If it's two people who get on well with each other, I don't think that could be considered hostile. But, if two people have a negative history, then it's probably a bad situation.

I think it's good to remember that, even though a poster may think his or her words are in jest, the target may not perceive them that way. I think the recipient of a "light-hearted" jab should be the judge of what is offensive. Why? Some people think they are being slick by sneaking in a little personal jab under the guise of it being just a little "ribbing". Just like a workplace, it can still be interpreted as hostility.

[Lulu]

Thank you very much Ralph...and with that, here's three cheers!

8329

[soulster]

Wow! very pretty ladies!

[franjoy56]

Thank you very much Ralph...and with that, here's three cheers!

8329 great photo of mary scherri susaye its good to know we c submit posts without being criticized. Thanks ralpht for t nu format

[bradsupremes]

It's a shame it has come to this, but it is definitely needed. I don't post as much as I used to due to the constant bickering/fighting. Glad to know you're taking action, Ralph, and bringing it back to what made the boards so enjoyable in the first place...discussing our love for Motown.

[144man]

They should be afraid to make any attack against another forum member. But, I think most people can tell the difference. If it's two people who get on well with each other, I don't think that could be considered hostile. But, if two people have a negative history, then it's probably a bad situation.

I think it's good to remember that, even though a poster may think his or her words are in jest, the target may not perceive them that way. I think the recipient of a "light-hearted" jab should be the judge of what is offensive. Why? Some people think they are being slick by sneaking in a little personal jab under the guise of it being just a little "ribbing". Just like a workplace, it can still be interpreted as hostility.

Noted and agreed.

[Sotosound]

It's a sad turn of events, but I believe that you're doing the right thing.

Love the "Ask Ralph" threads, BTW.

[soulster]

And, it still happened in the thread Ralph just closed, right after his new policy went into effect. Will Ralph do anything? We shall see...

[Hotspurman]

A very good move - here's to a happy and prosperous SDF in the years to come....

[mysterysinger]

Thanks to Ralph for the stance he's taken which I am behind 100%.

We need this forum - period.

[Methuselah2]

Ralph - My sincere thanks for all that you do. None of this can be easy but I think what you've decided will ultimately benefit all members and certainly benefit the website itself. All your work and efforts are greatly appreciated. My thanks again.

[midnightman]

Thanks, Ralph. It had to be done...

[luke]

Wonderful Ralph. Clearly needed per comments of people now feeling safer to post! Can the person just get banned who makes the negative comment and not the whole thread if no one else engaged? Whatever you do you have my full support.

[ralpht]

Luke,
Only the guilty party would be banned, not those on the thread that were cool with the topic.

[soulster]

Yup! One false move and...just think before you hit save.

[BayouMotownMan]

I hope you mean this Ralph. We've been asking for this for years. There is no need for name calling and especially profanity. Everyone can agree to disagree

[ralpht]

Oh...I mean it.

[tamla617]

Nice one Ralph. Does that mean threads like.........the Vandella with goofiest teeth or the most bow legged Temptation threads from 2008 [[ish) will be ditched or just wait 'till they go "Pear shaped"? Just wondering...........

[ralpht]

Just as long as no one is insulted or verbally attacked, I have no problems.

[Mary G Jive Five]

I just saw this, and I must say it's high time something was done. I never come into the Motown section because of all the vitriol. I don't understand all the fighting about the Supremes or other girl groups. Bravo to Ralph.

When I was on SDF before, a lot of artists participated in the forum. Most of them left because of all the nastiness and stupidity displayed in these threads.

If people can be civil about the artists and towards each other, maybe some of these artists will return. It was a much more interesting forum then. Maybe it will be again. I might peek into this section now.

Thank you, Ralph.

~~Mary~~

[longtimefan]

You are correct, Mary. Actually, there is another thread currently active listing out Motowners who formerly participated in this forum.

Also, colleagues who are currently involved with the Motown catalogue have also largely dropped by the wayside.

Hopefully, better days are coming!
I appreciate the threads that have recently been posted that focus on interesting issues-and stay that way. :-)

[Bokiluis]

Most appreciated. Thanks Ralph. [[It certainly was not a positive when if I referenced The Forum to others, only to get, "why do you bother with that website....despite my defense that it is a good place for "breaking news").

Both "ignore/block" and "private messaging" are great tools.....unless said poster has nefarious intentions to begin with.

in the words of Ashford & Simpson, performed by Miss Ross....."make this world a better place, if you can".

[soulster]

Some people only come here to bait their enemies, to see a beat-down, and to egg-on their allies. How grade-schoolish! The new rules and strict enforcement will put a stop to that.

Ralph, another idea is to disable the delete function and limit editing time so an offender would only have a small window of opportunity to correct themselves or not be able to erase the evidence.

[ralpht]

I've got a better idea, Soulster. We should all carefully review what we are ABOUT to post before hitting "reply"

[soulster]

That's ideal. Ralph, but no one is perfect. Sometimes people do post something in the heat of the moment, and seems good at the time, and pat themselves on the back about how they got their digs in, but think about it while they run to the fridge for a cold one, or use the bathroom, regret what they wrote, then come back with a clearer head and edit or delete what they wrote, hopefully within the window of opportunity. But, some people like to leave the bad stuff up for a day or two until they are sure their target sees it, then remove it. Some people are that diabolical. That's been my experience on other websites.

[westgrandboulevard]

I enjoy reading every single post on this forum, especially those which have some substance to them, something positive, some point.

Everyone has a different style in their communication. Some are naturally elegant, some are perhaps a little crude, even perhaps somewhat vulgar. Some make their point forcefully, some almost apologetically.

But they all have posted a comment, and given time and thought. To me, that's sincere, even if I don't always agree with what is said, or how it is said.

But.....when someone disagrees with another, yet without adding anything new to what was said to take it further, and then putting it in negative terms, that's just plain,flat-out attention seeking for themselves, with nothing to offer the reader. That, and seeing one member vilified by a number of others [[sometimes for very spurious reasons) are the only things that I don't want to see on this forum.

But.....that's just my own opinion :)

[radionixon]

Ralph, another idea is to disable the delete function and limit editing time so an offender would only have a small window of opportunity to correct themselves or not be able to erase the evidence.

I see where you're coming from but I honestly don't think that would help matters very much. The idea is to increase the peace, not find reasons to ban people, right? If someone says something stupid, and then wants to take it back later - strictly on the basis that Ralph hasn't already stepped in with a swift and well-deserved kick in the pants - then I personally think it's better they be allowed to do so, in the interests of all-round greater civility, rather than the board keeping an insulting post up there just so they can be "caught" and dealt with.

I guess we want to get to a point where people stay cool-headed and don't post insults at all [[or, indeed, casually sexist, racist or homophobic remarks). On that score, the new rule and the threat of enforcement does seem to have had a positive effect. Good work all round.

Before clicking SUBMIT, everyone should just be thinking "if someone - whether a total stranger, or my mom - was visiting SDF for the first time, what would they think of the place, based solely on what I'm about to post?"

[soulster]

Before clicking SUBMIT, everyone should just be thinking "if someone - whether a total stranger, or my mom - was visiting SDF for the first time, what would they think of the place, based solely on what I'm about to post?"

Totally agree. But, I submit that these people don't care what newcomers and strangers think. They are looking for brownie points from their like-minded friends. If they were standing in front of that person and thought they might get clocked, they wouldn't be that way. It's the internet, and people can hide behind a screen name, and no one knows where they live. They could probably be someone sitting in their mommy's basement eating Hot Pockets and getting off on free porn videos for all we know.

[Bokiluis]

That's ideal. Ralph, but no one is perfect. Sometimes people do post something in the heat of the moment, and seems good at the time, and pat themselves on the back about how they got their digs in, but think about it while they run to the fridge for a cold one, or use the bathroom, regret what they wrote, then come back with a clearer head and edit or delete what they wrote, hopefully within the window of opportunity. But, some people like to leave the bad stuff up for a day or two until they are sure their target sees it, then remove it. Some people are that diabolical. That's been my experience on other websites.

There's also a much simpler method and that is "by offering a sincere apology" to The Forum and to an intended target, if there is one [[again by "private messaging" would also be sincere and not prone to grandstand). We all sometimes get caught off guard, but, a heartfelt apology can also go the distance.

[soulster]

There's also a much simpler method and that is "by offering a sincere apology" to The Forum and to an intended target, if there is one [[again by "private messaging" would also be sincere and not prone to grandstand). We all sometimes get caught off guard, but, a heartfelt apology can also go the distance. C'mon! NO ONE ever personally apologizes for things they have said.

[144man]

C'mon! NO ONE ever personally apologizes for things they have said.

I hold my hand up and admit I have on one occasion sent a private message to a member I realised I had upset. That member accepted my apology.

[144man]

Totally agree. But, I submit that these people don't care what newcomers and strangers think. They are looking for brownie points from their like-minded friends. If they were standing in front of that person and thought they might get clocked, they wouldn't be that way. It's the internet, and people can hide behind a screen name, and no one knows where they live. They could probably be someone sitting in their mommy's basement eating Hot Pockets and getting off on free porn videos for all we know.

If members are hiding behind screen names so they can make obnoxious posts, maybe it's time to drop their use. I could live with posting under my real name.

[Bokiluis]

I hold my hand up and admit I have on one occasion sent a private message to a member I realised I had upset. That member accepted my apology.

Ah, you're a good man my friend. It doesn't cost us anything but the use of our fingers and the grace of our integrity.

[smark21]

However in the past day or two I do see a couple of attempts to get around the new rules and feeling around here. Bokiluis writing Mary Wilson as "marywilson" while other Supremes are accorded the respect of having their names written as names [[i.e., Diana Ross, Cindy Birdsong). And this new thread in which a humor article throws shade at Cindy Birdsong and her kidnapping in a pretty disrespectful matter is another example.

All the Supremes should be treated and accorded with respect here. It's fair to critique performances/songs/albums that don't measure up in your opinion...their work is fair game. But treat the ladies with respect at all times. That's what I get from the new rules and so far peace has been maintained. Don't resort to passive aggressive measures to get digs in [[like lowercase or pasting articles). All that will result is people wanting to retaliate with similar measures and it will eventually escalate to direct attacks once again.

So if you can't bring yourself to type a name in a respectful way, then don't use their name and discuss them at all. And if you can't treat someone with respect, then just avoid them all together. That way peace will be maintained.

[ralpht]

Smark,
I don't think this can be construed as disrespect to Mary, but your point is made. At times in the past, the littlest things could foment problems for me.. Perhaps Bokiluis, you could put caps on the names as a preventative measure.

[soulster]

If members are hiding behind screen names so they can make obnoxious posts, maybe it's time to drop their use. I could live with posting under my real name.
I like the idea, but it is completely unenforceable. How are you going to verify that it is their real name?

[soulster]

However in the past day or two I do see a couple of attempts to get around the new rules and feeling around here. Bokiluis writing Mary Wilson as "marywilson" while other Supremes are accorded the respect of having their names written as names [[i.e., Diana Ross, Cindy Birdsong). And this new thread in which a humor article throws shade at Cindy Birdsong and her kidnapping in a pretty disrespectful matter is another example.

All the Supremes should be treated and accorded with respect here. It's fair to critique performances/songs/albums that don't measure up in your opinion...their work is fair game. But treat the ladies with respect at all times. That's what I get from the new rules and so far peace has been maintained. Don't resort to passive aggressive measures to get digs in [[like lowercase or pasting articles). All that will result is people wanting to retaliate with similar measures and it will eventually escalate to direct attacks once again.

So if you can't bring yourself to type a name in a respectful way, then don't use their name and discuss them at all. And if you can't treat someone with respect, then just avoid them all together. That way peace will be maintained.

The point of the new rules isn't for respecting the people we talk about, it's about US, the forum members. It's best not to call people out because it will no doubt cause dissention again. This is what the new rule is designed to stop.

[Lulu]

However in the past day or two I do see a couple of attempts to get around the new rules and feeling around here. Bokiluis writing Mary Wilson as "marywilson" while other Supremes are accorded the respect of having their names written as names [[i.e., Diana Ross, Cindy Birdsong). And this new thread in which a humor article throws shade at Cindy Birdsong and her kidnapping in a pretty disrespectful matter is another example.

All the Supremes should be treated and accorded with respect here. It's fair to critique performances/songs/albums that don't measure up in your opinion...their work is fair game. But treat the ladies with respect at all times. That's what I get from the new rules and so far peace has been maintained. Don't resort to passive aggressive measures to get digs in [[like lowercase or pasting articles). All that will result is people wanting to retaliate with similar measures and it will eventually escalate to direct attacks once again.

So if you can't bring yourself to type a name in a respectful way, then don't use their name and discuss them at all. And if you can't treat someone with respect, then just avoid them all together. That way peace will be maintained.

I don't think he meant it that way either but who knows. I know there are plenty here who call Diana Ross "Diane" but that debate has been beaten to death as we know. I appreciate the civility lately and YouTube seems to be the only place where the trolls continue to come out.

[ralpht]

So I think we have said enough about this. Just try and be respectful to the person you are referring to on any forum topic. It will make my life so much easier.