Just a chime....or??

**144man** · 03-31-2013, 07:44 AM

British Summertime started today, but there's still no sign of Winter ending. That's just as well as I don't know how to put my sundial forward an hour.

**westgrandboulevard** · 03-31-2013, 09:06 AM

Stick with the sundial, and the tried and tested methods.

The electricity may cut out, and the computer then fails or runs out of charge, but the old methods still work.

Whenever all else fails me, I know I can always count on the abacus.

**144man** · 04-02-2013, 04:27 AM

Is the plural of abacus "abacuses" or "abaci"? If I wanted to buy two, I'd have to say "Can I have an abacus, then can I have another one."

Incidentally, my sundial is luminous so I can use it in the dark.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-02-2013, 04:41 AM

Perfect for son et lumiere.

Solar energy is a wonderful concept.....

**144man** · 04-02-2013, 06:15 PM

I don't need a clock to tell me when it's time for some hooch.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-02-2013, 06:23 PM

And after some hooch, who needs time....

**144man** · 04-03-2013, 06:06 AM

Gladys Knight, maybe?

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-03-2013, 06:26 AM

Now there's someone for whom many people still have a lot of time...

**144man** · 04-03-2013, 06:31 AM

...not forgetting the Greenwich Pips!

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-03-2013, 06:43 AM

I have them as a ring-tone. On a busy day, I can completely lose track of time.....

**144man** · 04-03-2013, 06:53 AM

Do you remember the good old days when you could work 40 years in one job? When you retired, they'd give you a leaving present for long-service. No longer would you have to set your alarm so you wouldn't be late in the morning. So what retirement gift did they give you?....A bloody clock, of course.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-03-2013, 07:10 AM

And half the people who accepted the clock after 40 years of service, were dead within six months...

**144man** · 04-05-2013, 06:48 PM

At least they didn't have to live through Global Warming. If it gets any worse, we're all going to freeze to death.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-05-2013, 06:55 PM

Quite! This must the centigrade version of Global Warming. I shovelled two feet of 'sunny spells' off the front path this morning

**144man** · 04-06-2013, 11:27 AM

Spring's in the air, there's muesli everywhere, when you're old and having digestive difficulties.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-06-2013, 11:48 AM

Older than Springtime are you,
layers when draughtier, for you...

**144man** · 04-06-2013, 11:55 AM

What do I care how much it might storm?
I've got my hooch to keep me warm.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-07-2013, 05:23 AM

So it's going in the microwave now, is it...?

**144man** · 04-08-2013, 06:18 PM

No, I'm not going to mull over that...

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-08-2013, 06:27 PM

Or w[[h)ine about it, either ....

**144man** · 04-08-2013, 06:29 PM

A vintage pun...

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-08-2013, 06:32 PM

It was a very good year....

**arrr&bee** · 04-08-2013, 10:30 PM

I WOULD ADVISE AGAINST PUTTING HOOCH IN THE MICROWAVE,THAT'S NOT GOOD...[imagine the solar system with all the planets in the wrong place,and the sun blacked out for oh let's say 40,000 years] REMEMBER THE ICE AGE,WELL LEGEND HAS IT THAT WAS AN EARLY HOOCH EXPERIMENT!!

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-09-2013, 05:36 AM

Well no, we wouldn't want to encourage plague, pestilence and burning flames across the Earth....

**144man** · 04-09-2013, 06:27 AM

Have you looked outside lately? Okay. Own up. Who's been and gone and done it?

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-09-2013, 06:42 AM

I've just looked out the window. Hmmmm. Perhaps I should gargle with some Listerine, then nip out for a new fire extinguisher.

**144man** · 04-09-2013, 07:01 AM

And now for something completely different....

Ding Dong, the witch is dead.
Which witch?
The wicked bitch.
Ding Dong, the Wicked Bitch is dead...

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-09-2013, 07:15 AM

Don't shout too loudly, and quickly lock your door.

Large Marge, her even nastier loud-mouthed sister, is on her way from 'The Norff & Sarff'

**144man** · 04-09-2013, 07:22 AM

One day in Hell, and she's already shut down 30 furnaces!

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-09-2013, 08:26 AM

The demeanour of the Wicked Witch when casting her spells became, for me, a pronounced irritation - in a manner of speaking....

**144man** · 04-11-2013, 05:22 PM

"Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" might be Number One this week. Will the BBC play it, or will they repeat 1977's "God Save the Queen" fiasco?

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-11-2013, 05:39 PM

Apparently, there are plans to play it, if the chart position warrants it.

Reportedly, it may be accompanied by an explanation of why it is on the chart, for those who have no idea of the significance.

Or so the story goes.....

**144man** · 04-11-2013, 05:48 PM

"What you gonna do with a chimney on you?"

**144man** · 04-12-2013, 03:08 AM

Rod Stewart has been asked to sing at the funeral, but "Wake up, Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you" may not be everybody's ideal choice...

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-12-2013, 06:46 AM

Mark and Carol might applaud....

**144man** · 04-12-2013, 01:54 PM

At least Carol's got a sense of humour, which is more than her mother had. On past record, Mark is likely to get lost on the way to the funeral.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-12-2013, 02:03 PM

No doubt that was her final message to him

**144man** · 04-13-2013, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by westgrandboulevard

Apparently, there are plans to play it, if the chart position warrants it.

Reportedly, it may be accompanied by an explanation of why it is on the chart, for those who have no idea of the significance.

Or so the story goes.....

I wonder what the BBC will do after the funeral if it's high in the charts for a second week.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-13-2013, 05:21 PM

Demand a recount?

**144man** · 04-13-2013, 05:35 PM

Never underestimate the power of prayer.
First they elect an Argentinian Pope, then a couple of weeks later Margaret Thatcher dies.
That's got to be more than a coincidence.

May the Iron Lady rust in peace.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-13-2013, 05:41 PM

It seems that, after all these years, some have not been able to move on, and still bitterly feel her policies threw them in the scrapyard, to rust.

They'll not be pleased if she now confirms it by joining them....

**144man** · 04-13-2013, 05:46 PM

They should have buried her at sea. It would have been the only way to stop people dancing on her grave.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-13-2013, 05:51 PM

Some of them are so self-righteous, they'd simply walk out to the spot with their wreaths...

**144man** · 04-14-2013, 08:00 AM

They'd eventually get a sinking feeling.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-14-2013, 08:35 AM

Floating voters, the lot of them....

**144man** · 04-15-2013, 06:33 PM

As a mark of respect, the Big Ben chimes will be silenced during Margaret Thatcher's funeral.

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-15-2013, 06:46 PM

Fortunately, we can carry on this thread in silence, during the funeral in the capital...unless, of course, arrr&bee joins us, posting in capitals. Then I'll put in some ear plugs.