Just a chime....or??

[westgrandboulevard]

Red Hot R&B......

[Jerry Oz]

Which he plays as guest DJ on Blue Mondays... The result is purple, which the color of royalty. It all becomes clear when you step back and take a good look at it.

[arr&bee]

Awww you're too kind,the thing that is hot are these wonderful tresures that i've searched the world over to bring to you,and jerry my man i have something special for you today...are you ready?i've recently come across some bits of the original sand that moses walked on in the movie[the ten commandments]autographed by ol[cecil b.]himself..now i know you want this peice of movie trvia on your mantel and wait for it.....only 1,500,000,200.50%avove factory invoice..plus shipping and handling..now i could get a small fortune for this classic peice but i like to see my friends happy.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'd be happier to have those 'bits of original sand' in an hourglass on my mantelpiece.

It would help remind me how quickly time is passing.....

[144man]

There's not a grain of truth that it was the real Moses who walked on that sand.

[westgrandboulevard]

It was quite likely to be my agent Moyses, as I haven't heard from him in that long.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm thinking that the size, shape, color, and smell of Moses' "sand" will show that it was more likely found on the floor of a bull's pen than the Sahara Desert.

[westgrandboulevard]

Handle with care....

[144man]

It was Charlton Heston in disguise.

[westgrandboulevard]

He hasn't looked like Charlton Heston for decades.

Brigitte Bardot and mirrors are clearly strangers....

[arr&bee]

It's the real deal...[would i lie to you?]and if you wondering if it's the genuine article it has the certificate of authenticity from ol[cecil b.]himself...and get this i'll throw in a photo of ol[cecil b.]and moses standing in the desert on the very sand how's that for a bargain,hurry folks want this item.for only..3,500,000,158.12%above factory invoice..plus shipping and handling.

[Jerry Oz]

Sounds great! I'll PM you with the address so you can forward the check. I'd like to arrange delivery for this weekend [[September 15 or 16). Thanks, amigo.

[arr&bee]

Good,good i'll have my buzzards..opps-err-ahem-hehe my delivery flyers drop it off for you..keep watching the sky.

[Jerry Oz]

Umm... Can't do that afraid. The local police department is using drones and I almost got caught the last time I looked up. Have your buzzards drop off a Diana Ross mask. With that, I can freeze the cameras with an icy stare and they won't recognize me.

[144man]

Jerry, if you get R&B's check, it will be a miracle. Avoid Jai's offers like the plague -all ten of them, in fact.

[westgrandboulevard]

You'd be better off with a Good Book.

[arr&bee]

One mask coming right up,now 144man you need a book on miracles?got cha and something about plagues[ten of em]got cha...business is picking up..at only 10,000%above factory invoice-plus shipping and handling.

[westgrandboulevard]

Cheaper on Kindle....

[144man]

I don't need a new book of miracles now that Tom Pierce of "Widecombe Fair" fame has lent me his grimoire.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm still stumbling with the 10 plagues [[I remember seven...). I bet one was the sound of the Spice Girls blaring from heavenly speakers somewhere 24/7. Another was probably the hair from cheap, poorly applied hair-weaves clogging up shower and basin drains [[that's a really bad one). And if I know my Biblical plagues, the other was a barrage of negative political campaign advertisements, full of half-truths and outright lies [[we're plagued with that one in the States right now). No wonder Pharaoh let the Hebrew children go...

[arr&bee]

I thought he let em go because the daycare center was closed.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, that and the fact that FMLA became a law in Egypt. Nobody showed up for work.

[arr&bee]

I heard he tried to make em go to school on[yom kipper]but yom sued him all the way to the supremes court where justices-ross-wilson-ballard-birdsong told him to[run run run]on outa there.

[westgrandboulevard]

Or to "Stop!, in the name of love", although three extra voices gave extra weight to that verdict.

[144man]

But will they be fed in a reasonable manna?

[westgrandboulevard]

Heaven only knows.....

[Jerry Oz]

...And Heaven will reveal the answer after we return following this word from our sponsors...

[arr&bee]

Folks do you wake up with your eyes open,well i have the answer this new sensation called[eyes wide shut]just rub some over whichever eye is open and presto eyes wide shut it's time to sleep again,never again worry about closng your eyes at bedtime hurry tiis offer won't last.

[144man]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

[arr&bee]

Get that sleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, I ain't gonna wake y'all up. Enjoy your rest, fellers.

[arr&bee]

Rest???i'm always awake[deals to be made]the compitition is outthere and i won't be oversold.

[Jerry Oz]

And can you tell our viewers where they may go to see these wonderful deals?

[arr&bee]

OF COURSE,GO DOWN TO THE HOOD WAY DOWN AND YOU'LL SEE SOME TRUCKS PARKED NEAR THE BACK OF A WAREHOUSE[don't ask any questions]AND COME AFTER DARK AND WEAR SHADES..[and if you got a fake beard that would be good too]OH AND BRING CASH,LOTS OF CASH OH AND YOU MIGHT WANNA WEAR SNEAKERS..[cause you may have to do some running].

[westgrandboulevard]

Once I can round up Patti LaBelle and her people, we'll be on my way. They're just the sort of lovely folks I'd want right next to me if things got tricky.

[Jerry Oz]

Patti LaBelle?! If only you knew...

[westgrandboulevard]

I do, Jerry.

Oh, I do.....

[Jerry Oz]

Patti was always one of the most tasteful artists. I think she used to baste herself in Lady Marmalade before going into the oven.

[westgrandboulevard]

They can take care of themselves all right, but if there's someone around to look out for them, it helps the old birds just keep strutting....

[Jerry Oz]

"Old birds"? Why did that make me laugh? T'would seem that the 'old' takes all of the flattery out of being considered a 'bird', would it not?

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm not sure if it translates exactly from UK to US, but those of us of a certain age sometimes refer to ourselves as 'old boys' or 'old girls' - with variations, such as 'old geezers' and 'old birds'.

Re: the latter, there are also 'spring chickens' and then there are 'old boilers'.....

[arr&bee]

You two need some[old]hooch.

[Jerry Oz]

"Bird" is analogous with "chick", which is either a flattering reference to a young woman or an insult, depending on to whom it references.

Curiously, "hoochie" is pretty much always used as a pejorative, so I'm sure calling someone an "old hooch" is sure to result in a slap...

[arr&bee]

Nothing wrong with old hooch,i have a three hundred year old bottle around here somewhere.

[Jerry Oz]

Old bottles with new hooch? Hope you washed it before you refilled it.

[westgrandboulevard]

He'll charge you extra for the vintage look.

[Jerry Oz]

I think I'm going to pass on the next round of drinks...

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm sure the water I just drank had already been passed by innumerable people.

[Jerry Oz]

Grossness. Thanks for that 'thought of the day'.

[arr&bee]

You see,that's why i don't drink....water,oh and for the record the hooch and the bottle is 300yrs old.