Just a chime....or??

[westgrandboulevard]

You'll need to be really old to start receiving your retirement income. Any earlier, and the shock could kill you.

[Jerry Oz]

From my seat, retirement is overrated.

[arr&bee]

YOU TWO ARE FUNNY,I GOT DIAMONDS JERRY IF YOU NEED ONE I FOUND ONE LEFT OVER FROM THE BOOR WARS...[THOSES BOORS WILL FIGHT OVER ANYTHING]ANYHOW THEY DROPPED ONE AND MY COMRADS CAME ACROSS IT JUST THINK OF HOW HAPPY THE MRS WILL BE WHEN YOU GIVE HER THIS ROCK...[it's ingraved too...made in korea]I'M GONNA LET YOU HAVE IT FOR ONLY...299%ABOVE FACTORY INVOICE...I JUST LOVE MAKIN FOLKS HAPPY.

[Jerry Oz]

I can get a post-dated check to you as soon as you can get me a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Although I'd prefer to deliver it in person. Hopefully you can send me a few hundred bucks so I can drive to where you are. Hate to lose it in the mail and need more envelopes...

[144man]

Please send me an aeroplane ticket and expenses so I can get this stamped addressed envelope to Jerry as soon as possible if not sooner.

[westgrandboulevard]

Did someone just fire a starting pistol?

[Jerry Oz]

Well, it looks to me like this business arrangement is off to a great start, so a starting pistol would be perfect! As soon as arr&bee sends 144man the envelope, the ticket, and itinerary, he can fly here and I'll get the check to him. I've post dated it to November 19, 2015, by which time I should have deposited at least the $35 necessary to cover it. If not, I'll let you know to wait another few weeks before attempting to cash it.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's no wonder the National Debt is so worryingly high.

[Jerry Oz]

You're right. The government needs to discuss paying bills with post-dated checks instead of constantly borrowing money. It works for me.

[144man]

Not if they did it for welfare payments and tax refunds

[Jerry Oz]

They could balance the budgets if they issued each tax refund for a few cents more than what is due and then seize it when clueless filers try to cash the check. They could get them for trying to defraud the government and waive the jail time if they didn't insist on getting the refunds in the correct amount.

My mind just works that way, I wonder why the Internal Revenue Service has responded to my unsolicited e-mails demanding to run the agency?

[arr&bee]

Hey jerry don't worry,i'll have one of my people ride to where you are on his moped..[just look for the guy dressed as the joker]and drop off those tickets,not don't worry about the plane[such as it is]it ain't first class but it will get you there[i hope]don't worry about the tape on the wings it's for wind resistance[yeah that's it]and the plastic covering the windows are for rain protection and the pilot is first rate he flew with the wright brothers so he's been around,so if you make it-opps-err-ahem-hehe..when you make it we'll talk.

[westgrandboulevard]

How much would it cost Jerry if he decided to sit inside the plane?

[Jerry Oz]

Wait... That plane actually has seats?!

[westgrandboulevard]

There may also be a padded cell.

[Jerry Oz]

I have a feeling the passengers need as much padding on that thing as they can get. Maybe I'll just pass on delivering it in person...

[westgrandboulevard]

This 'personal' thing can be very overrated.

[Jerry Oz]

Not when somebody else is signing the check; well, in my opinion, anyway...

[arr&bee]

JERRY,JERRY WOULD I PUT YOU IN HARM'S WAY?OF COURSE THE PLANE IS SAFE..[that little condem notice from the FAA is just a small misunderstanding]I MEAN THEY TRY TO REGULATE EVERY LITTLE THING,I MEAN MAYBE THE LANDING GEAR IS A LITTLE RUSTED WE GOT OIL,AND THAT RUMOUR ABOUT THE PILOT BEING PAST THE LEGAL AGE LIMIT TO FLY POPPYCOCK..[WHEN HE'S ON HIS MEDS AND TAKING HIS GLACOMA PILLS HE'S AS GOOD AS IT GETS DON'T WORRY JERRY YOU'LL BE FINE.

[westgrandboulevard]

I didn't know the Wright Brothers were still working...

[Jerry Oz]

I'm cool with flying. I was late for a doctor's appointment yesterday and had to fly just to get there on time.

And today, my arms are still tired.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ha! And so now you're working as a stork, delivering babies...?

[144man]

At your age you should know that storks don't deliver babies. They're found under gooseberry bushes.

[Jerry Oz]

Ewww... Then what in the world did I bring back from the cabbage patch?

[144man]

A cabbage patch doll? I suppose you're going to tell me it had a birth certificate.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, I heard that babies came from cabbage patches. Now, apparently, they're found under gooseberry bushes. I brought something back that's climbing all over the apartment while drinking my milk and smelling like poop and it apparently is not a baby.

And it sure as heck ain't cabbage, either.

[arr&bee]

You need a cabbage patch baby?i got em[ain't they cute]imagine the look on the mrs when you give her this little cutie..and only 700%above factory invoice..plus shipping.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's the '700% above factory invoice plus shipping' which leads me to imagine the look on Mrs Oz's face - not what is being presented....

[Jerry Oz]

Umm... The last time I told her that I had a baby led to one of the worst discussions I've ever had. For some reason, things didn't even settle down after the blood test proved it wasn't mine.

Go figure. If it was mine, she's ticked off. I thought that she'd be tickled pink when she found out that it wasn't. Women...

[westgrandboulevard]

Again, it's the process involved, not necessarily the final result, which causes the real trouble.

[144man]

Over 100,000 hits on this thread. Who'd have thought it?

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm still thinking "Who is reading it?!", but am pleased they do. Greetings to everyone reading this.....

[Jerry Oz]

Whoa, you mean it's not just us lurking here..? That's like the old days when somebody listened to conversations on party lines.

[westgrandboulevard]

Did you just hear that click....?

[144man]

All the more people to fall for -er I mean snap up R&B's wonderful bargains and make us rich. What's his latest % mark-up?

[westgrandboulevard]

No idea, as the FTSE 100 index couldn't cope, and has crashed.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaa,nothing like more chumps-opps-err-ahem-hehe..customers welcome one and all to r&b's world of bargains...starting at only 500%above factory invoice plus shipping.

[144man]

Can you throw in a free bottle of hooch with every purchase?

[arr&bee]

Shhhhh,hey pipe it sown with that[free]stuff,you tryin to bankrupt me?

[144man]

Didn't I tell you I have my very own insolvency practice?

[arr&bee]

Good for you now i got products for sale,i can't give anything away at this point but if this stuff don't move i might be having a fire sale.

[144man]

I thought you'd arranged a real fire for November.

[arr&bee]

I think west planned that one.

[Jerry Oz]

Hmmm... If it's a fire sale, you'll need a flammable accelerant. I wonder what's available that might catch fire easily...

[westgrandboulevard]

A well-soaked Arr&bee...coupled with spontaneous combustion?

[Jerry Oz]

The only man in the world who can start a grill with a sneeze and a match...

[westgrandboulevard]

When he enters, he lights up the room.

[Jerry Oz]

Yeah. He's got a smile so bright, he could have been a candle. Or a light switch.

[westgrandboulevard]

Or a flame thrower....

[Jerry Oz]

Well, you have admit it: When he's hot, he's hot...