Just a chime....or??

[westgrandboulevard]

That's true, judging by the beer bellies I've seen on the nudist beach....

[Jerry Oz]

It's okay as long as you do not object to kids pushing back into the water, singing songs about "saving the whales"...

[westgrandboulevard]

Out of the mouths of children...

[144man]

Knowing the kids round here, they'd be more likely to be carrying harpoons.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's time some of them became an endangered species.

[144man]

They're a good example of devolution.

[westgrandboulevard]

Some local councillors in the making, for sure...

[Jerry Oz]

Do you believe that children are the future? Then beat them well and let them lead the way...

[westgrandboulevard]

They go their way, and I'll go mine....

[Jerry Oz]

Odd, they tend to follow me. They start dancing like the Sharks and Jets from "West Side Story" and something about their precise timing and their switchblades tells me that I should pick up the pace. Creepy little b*stards...

[westgrandboulevard]

I now have the images of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video in my mind...

[Jerry Oz]

I was thinking more about "Another Brick In The Wall". Now, I'm seeing the "Thriller" video in my head with Pink Floyd singing and it is verrrrry disturbing...

[westgrandboulevard]

All you need now is to be joined by a VOICE of your own....

[Jerry Oz]

She's cooking right now. I will be hearing it soon enough.

[westgrandboulevard]

"aren't you going to come and eat this food that I've been [[you can insert: working all day and night) cooking for you.....????"

[Jerry Oz]

More likely "I think I burned the Spam."

[westgrandboulevard]

LOL!

You could both try something ready made. At least there might be some extra fibre to be had in the packaging.

[Jerry Oz]

I feel bad about that last one [[although I LOL'd when I wrote it). My boo is a pretty good cook and since meat is off of my menu, processed meat by-products is definitely something I'll avoid.

[westgrandboulevard]

I didn't take you seriously....

Most of the food in this home is prepared and cooked here, although meat is still on the menu. It's balanced out with other protein like fish, eggs, cheese - and a lot of vegetables and fruit, especially nuts and dates.

I'll eat a good quality sausage or chipolata from time to time, but wouldn't want them every week, let alone every day.

[arr&bee]

Hey west when this movie is finished you can date all the nuts you like..why your name will be right upthere with marvin k mooney,why you'll be so infamous no one will want your autograph...we're on our way.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm going on Oprah, for her to tell me why I've never been invited on her show.

[Jerry Oz]

Can we have Ralph track his IP address for that post? If we find him, we can save 144man a lot of wasted time and aimless searching in the most beautiful part of the world. He'll appreciate that.

[westgrandboulevard]

144man may feel , no doubt like the rest of us, that he has spent years of 'wasted time and aimless searching' on his own home patch.

Just try prising him away from the most beautiful part of the world....

[Jerry Oz]

But home is where the hurt is...

[westgrandboulevard]

You mean he lives in an Accident & Emergency department - ?

[144man]

I think I can just about tolerate a lot of wasted time and aimless searching in the most beautiful part of the world.

My search will encompass Hilo and the Hawaiian Volcanoes National Park. I believe there was an accident in the secret hooch distillery in 1983, and Kilauea has been erupting ever since.

[westgrandboulevard]

I can tell you have your search well mapped out.

[144man]

I will also have access to the telescopes at the Mauna Kea Observatory. If I can't find the distillery with them, I shall be able to track the accidental satellite which has been orbiting the Earth ever since the 1983 Great Hooch Disaster.

[westgrandboulevard]

"Ground Control to Major Arr&bee......."

[144man]

And if I can't get to Hawaii, I might instead just retreat to the peace and tranquillity of the Supremes' Threads.

[westgrandboulevard]

You could be very effective as the presiding judge in the Supremes Court.

[Jerry Oz]

Virtual hooch is in plentiful supply over there. If you don't believe me, start a thread with the words "Diana Ross is a..." It won't matter how you finish it, there will be an all-out war waged just for the fun of waging an all-out war over Princess Diana.

[144man]

I remember learning about the Hundred Years War at school, so they've still got a long way to go.

[westgrandboulevard]

Thank goodness none of us will be here to see who wins.

[Jerry Oz]

But Miss Ross will be. She won't let her fans [[or her detractors) down by leaving before the show end.

[westgrandboulevard]

By that date, she'll certainly need an extremely large fan, just to preserve the embalming process.

The show will have ended long before then.

We're only about 50 into the Hundred Years war....

[arr&bee]

GOOD WORK 144MAN,AS YOU KNOW THE HOOCH LEGEND IS EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE...[it depends on where you're standing]OF COURSE THE ORIGIN WILL NEVER BE FOUND,IT IS SAID THAT ADAM AND EVE WERE KICKED OUT OF THE GARDEN NOT FOR AN APPLE BUT BECAUSE OF THIS WONDERFUL ELIXUR,AND IT'S BEEN A THRILL RIDE EVER SINCE,AND YES THAT HUNDRED YEARS WAR IT STARTED WHEN SOMEONE CLAIMED THEY HAD THE ORIGIN AND SOMEONE ELSE SAID THEY HAD IT,THE HATFIELDS AND THE MCCOYS SAME THING ALL THROUGH HISTORY FUEDS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT LOVES HAVE BEEN LOST FORTUNES LOST,RICHARD THE LIONHEARTED LED A CRUSADE TRYING TO LOCATE THE ORIGIN,THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA WAS BUILT BECAUSE THERE WAS A STILL[OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE]A FACTORY WAY UP ON THE HILL AND THE ONLY WAY THEY COULD GET THERE WAS TO BUILD THAT WALL,BUT BY THE TIME THE EMPEROR'S ARMY GOT THERE WE WERE GONE,[WE TRAVEL LIGHT]CLEOPATRA SAILED DOWN THE NILE TO FIND IT SO THE SEARCH WILL CONTINUE AND SO WILL THE DRINKIN.

[westgrandboulevard]

We all need a drink after that.....

[Jerry Oz]

Rumors are that Napoleon was 6'2" tall and led a quiet, introspective life before his first sip. Afterward, he was 4'6" with visions of grandeur. Implications are endless throughout history...

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm drawn towards the 'before' option.

[Jerry Oz]

That would explain all of the portraits where he's grumpy and has his hand in his shirt as if he's got heartburn. Hooch'll do ya'...

[westgrandboulevard]

I bet those gallstones were continually on the move...

[Jerry Oz]

Indeed. They were repelled by the hooch and either moved or were dissolved. Self-preservation dictated that they live a nomadic life.

[westgrandboulevard]

Speaking as one who was diagnosed over five years ago as having them, I can tell you that gallstones moving can be a real worry.

If hooch dissolves them, and with no pain, then bring it on, I say.......

[144man]

I hear hooch will also cure haemorrhoids, but I'm not sure if it's applied internally or externally.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm no hooch connoisseur, but I would think 'internally' is far more pleasurable.

I can hear the sales pitch now. "Hooch satisfies both ends"....

[Jerry Oz]

It's best to take it internally... I don't think anything that burns cotton makes a good suppository.

[westgrandboulevard]

I was once selling fabric, and a woman came in, saying she was looking for some net for her back passage.

I remember at the time thinking that a suppository would be far more appropriate.

[144man]

The enema of my enema is my friend.

[westgrandboulevard]

We all get it, in the end.