Just a chime....or??

[Jerry Oz]

I would suppose that Littlebits knows as much about hooch as arr&bee... She probably sweats buckets of it during her two-minute set and a little less during the short set.

[arr&bee]

She'll give you a lap dance too...of course your lap will more than likely break,but a fun time for all...hey is that westgrand sneaking out the side door??

[westgrandboulevard]

It was his body double.

Littlebits' body double could never sneak, ever....

[Jerry Oz]

Actually, Littlebits has a double body, not a body double...

[westgrandboulevard]

That would make four of them, then.

Poor woman. She'll be beside herself....

[Jerry Oz]

Indeed she will. I asked her what she did on her day off and she said that she sat around the house. And when she did, she actually sat AROUND the house...

[westgrandboulevard]

I hope no-one else was at home. It would have seemed like a total eclipse of the sun.

Over here, we play guessing games as to which particular supermarket chain is likely to be a favourite of anyone we see.

Which of yours do you think Littlebits would favour?

[Jerry Oz]

Oh, I'm going to hate myself for saying it, but... Littlebits definitely can be found foraging at Piggly Wiggly. What would be your guess?

[westgrandboulevard]

Oh dear me, it looks a dump.....

Should Littlebits take up residency in England [[I could say Britain, but Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland may raise objections on the grounds that there simply is no room for her) she would most likely opt to shop in Asda - third largest in market share,owned by WalMart - slogan is/was "Britain's lowest priced supermarket for 16 years running".

I am fairly confident Littlebits would read that slogan to mean "All you can stuff".....

[Jerry Oz]

Oh dear... If she reads anything with the word "running" in it, she'll stop, drop, and roll as fast as she can the other way.

[westgrandboulevard]

Queen of the Couch Potatoes, then. Opening a packet would be exertion enough.....

[Jerry Oz]

Yes, exactly. But don't make the mistake of saying "potatoes" around her. Unless you have some, that is. If you don't have dollar bills for tips when she's dancing, she'll gladly let you substitute steak fries.

[westgrandboulevard]

One thing I need to get straight. Arr&bee describes Littlebits as a go-go dancer, while you refer to her as a stripper. In the US, is there a difference between the two?

[Jerry Oz]

Yes. But "go-go dancers" are something that have not been popular for decades over here. I think some clubs are bringing them back, though, but those are trendy, high-end places that can afford to pay young ladies to do their thing as part of the aesthetic.

[westgrandboulevard]

I think lap and pole dancers superseded the go-go dancer market - which then was gone-gone....?

[Jerry Oz]

Yah, mon. Back in the day, you could look but definitely not touch. And much of what you looked at required you to use your imagination to appreciate it. Now, nothing is left to the imagination and you actually feel dirty to feel dirty.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's often said, and also sung, that "T'ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it".

Well, people need to make a living but , without wanting to make any moral judgements, it's very difficult to do lap or pole dancing with any finesse or style.

Yes, best kept to the imagination. That way, just feeling a bit naughty as much as we like, and for as long as we like, keeps it nice.

Littlebits wouldn't understand that.....

[Jerry Oz]

Littlebits was wearing a halter top and hot pants one Spring day. Her tattoos looked like hieroglyphics on the wall of a massive, bouncy Egyptian tomb. I asked if it was appropriate to have dressed so provocatively with so many children in the park with her. She told me that when she dressed that morning, she put on a pair of culottes and a hockey sweater but they seemed to have shrunk shortly after lunch...

[westgrandboulevard]

That did make me laugh.

I rather think I like Littlebits - although I'm not altogether sure I could cope if ever I were to meet her...

[Jerry Oz]

Just know the warning signs: If she's on your right side and you hear thunder in your left ear, it's probably just an oncoming storm. If you hear it in your right ear, it's Littlebits getting hungry and it's probably an oncoming storm. Just keep two packs of Oreos in your backpack and remember to replace one when you give the first one to her. It could be problematic if she gets hungry and you are out of food...

[westgrandboulevard]

OK. If ever I go round to her house, I'll pop some raw meat through the letter box before knocking....

[Jerry Oz]

Do that and you'll have a friend [[or lover) for life. Just be aware that her friendship and love are Pavlovian and that she'll expect you to bring raw meat every time you visit or the drooling will soon stop.

[westgrandboulevard]

She really ought to consider relocating to a zoo.

[Jerry Oz]

I've a feeling that her big sister might have a problem with that and try to break her out.

[westgrandboulevard]

Unlikely to be an aerial exercise, then.

And, for security reasons, dare I ask what name her big sister goes by [[you may need to consult with arr&bee before you answer )

[Jerry Oz]

Her stage name is "Jelly", presumably because jam doesn't shake like that.

[westgrandboulevard]

Over here, we have a jellyfish known as 'The Portuguese Man Of War'. Littlebits' sister must be from the same family.

[Jerry Oz]

Self preservation is the first law of nature. Any man of war, Portuguese, Spartan, Macedonian, or English would turn and run when Jelly shows up angry. And if she's awake, she's probably angry.

[westgrandboulevard]

I suppose Littlebits and Jelly have no need for an agent. They sound like they can take care of business real nicely thank you, and have cut out the middle man [[who disappeared in mysterious circumstances....)

I wonder if they've ever tried wrestling.

[Jerry Oz]

They are accomplished wrestlers. They honed their abilities by fighting for the last four pounds of bacon that their grandmother fixed for breakfast before retiring to check her blood sugar. Granny would have them stand in opposite corners of the room until she put the bacon on the table and the girls would wait until she left before running to get the bacon.

I believe the current theory is that the middle man mistakenly picked up a slice of bacon just as the immovable object met the irresistible force in the dining room. Suffice it to say, one of the immutable laws of nature is that you don't come between Littlebits and Jelly when they are fighting over food.

[westgrandboulevard]

Poor man. I hope he didn't suffer.....

[Jerry Oz]

He didn't suffer nearly as much as the bacon...

[westgrandboulevard]

This whole sad story is a most compelling reason for becoming a vegetarian.

[Jerry Oz]

Amen to that. Those girls turn their noses up to men who do not eat meat. Mainly because if you don't eat meat, you probably don't have a lot of it at your flat, so no food equals no fun.

[westgrandboulevard]

They'd soon be on the phone for the pizza deliveryman!

[Jerry Oz]

They view him in the same way drunken housewives look at male strippers dressed as policemen or firemen. Their ultimate fantasy is a man delivering food to your doorstep.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...you two are nuts...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

WE'RE nuts??! LOL

How dare you, arr&bee.....I'll have you know that Jerry O and me spend a great deal of time, hard at work in the Thought Mines....

[westgrandboulevard]

Jerry...well, I'll be darned. I wouldn't object to a man delivering food to my doorstep, in a uniform or not. I must have more in common with Littlebits and Jelly than I first thought...

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa,i'm surprised that you're up this late and yes i know that you two are thinkers,which is cool with me for ihave no time for think but only for drink.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ahem. I can only refer you to my post of the last few minutes, on the "Let it Snow" thread...

[arr&bee]

Hey west you're the only one other than ralph whom i get a quik response from these days.

[westgrandboulevard]

All the others are on life support.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, my feelings are now hurt. I believe that my record reveals me capable of presenting quick responses.










Eventually.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ha! You are indeed. I'm keeping count. I just got lucky with my own response there.

I, too am always efficient - no matter how l-o-n-g it takes......

[Jerry Oz]

Well, technically, you respond five hours before we read the posts, so you have an unfair advantage on us.

[westgrandboulevard]

You nearly got me believing you there for a minute.....

But...if that is indeed true, then it's true for both sides of the Atlantic. Many of the members who post on SDF would seem to be in the US, and then are likely to post during your evening/night while we're asleep in UK - so those of us here in UK are behind the action when we open up in the morning.....[[it's a hard life....)

[Jerry Oz]

Okay that last have me a headache. I think I pulled a muscle in my brain thanks to the heady concept...

[arr&bee]

Not at four am jerry..hehehehe.

[westgrandboulevard]

Think we had a similar conversation last autumn.

It's 10.08 am GMT here - and the screen is telling me that it is 4.08 'there', and shows GMT -5.

To my basic maths, it's actually GMT - 6, so I think that might have something to do with putting our clocks forward one hour last weekend, and so we're now on 'British Summer Time'...