06-26-2012, 08:14 PM
You're all being capitalistic..........
06-27-2012, 08:42 AM
09-21-2012, 05:55 PM
It's official - the Clock Tower of Big Ben has now been renamed the Elizabeth Tower.
09-22-2012, 10:41 AM
Wait a minute!!!!????big ben put elizabeth in the tower???
12-24-2012, 03:19 PM
Blimey this one nearly fell off the edge of page 20!
Happy Christmas you nutters!
Enjoy yourselves and I hope you have a great 2013!
12-26-2012, 05:12 PM
Dont let this post slide.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Last edited by tamla617; 12-26-2012 at 05:18 PM.
12-26-2012, 05:18 PM
12-26-2012, 07:04 PM
12-27-2012, 07:47 AM
It's a cracker...or was it in one?
12-27-2012, 07:52 AM
Last edited by westgrandboulevard; 12-27-2012 at 07:54 AM.
12-27-2012, 07:55 AM
If you find me an other one, I'll gladly pull it.
12-27-2012, 07:59 AM
12-27-2012, 09:20 AM
Appropriate to this thread, one of the few Happy New Year records made was George Harrison's "Ding Dong".
12-27-2012, 03:57 PM
It was in a cracker!
Jacobs need to get their Quality control sorted out!
12-28-2012, 05:36 PM
You'd have to be nuts to work in a crackers quality control department......
12-28-2012, 08:03 PM
Isn't that where Billie Jean Brown trained? It explains why she turned down "Jimmy Mack".
12-29-2012, 09:18 AM
And he never did come back. Martha's still out there, looking....
01-01-2013, 01:45 PM
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,wow the hooch is flowing all the way over here,haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaa!!!
01-01-2013, 02:56 PM
So, would that be a glass or a large bottle you're holding - and is it half full,or half empty...
01-05-2013, 08:04 PM
Glug glug glug glug glug.....just don't care anymore...hic....
01-08-2013, 03:22 PM
Have your sorrows now been max-satisfactorily drowned?
01-08-2013, 07:58 PM
My New Year's Resolution was to only have one drink a day; I am now up to the Third of June.
01-09-2013, 05:18 AM
Sounds expensive. Do you perhaps have a sinking fund at your disposal?
01-09-2013, 07:39 AM
No, just a sinking feeling in my stomach when the bills come in. And as the Marvelettes almost said, Don't mess with the bills.
01-09-2013, 12:05 PM
Well Jai,I hope that you're proud of yourself because you've made a shamble of a once good post with your spead of that toxic hooch of yours,it's bad enough that you cook up this poisonous contraption but it's toxic foul fumes are poisoning the minds of your fellow posters,have you no shame?.....GEE VOICE YOU FLATTER ME IS THIS THE NEW YOU,OF COUSE I'M PROUD OF THIS WONDERFUL ELIXIR BUT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT ONE THING...THERE ARE NO CONTRAPTIONS IN IT...There is no hope for you Jai.....HEY VOICE I HOPE YOU SHUTTUP!!!
01-11-2013, 06:52 PM
Which voice represents your better side, and which your worst??
01-12-2013, 02:22 PM
west,after knowing me all this time you have to ask???go take a sip of this wonderful elixur and when you come out of your stuper[opps-er-ahem-hehe]i mean-nap you'll know the answer!!!
Originally Posted by westgrandboulevard
01-12-2013, 02:27 PM
That's not a nap you're talking about, that's a coma....LOL
01-12-2013, 03:11 PM
SHHHHHHH....keep it down i made a promise to the leauge of decency that i wouldn't use that word]...HAVE YOU EVER HAD 200 CHURCH LADIES PROTESTING IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE,YOU GET THE IDEA...SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Originally Posted by westgrandboulevard
01-12-2013, 03:16 PM
Were those ladies from the Temperance Movement...?
01-12-2013, 03:47 PM
Yep,and the[pta]...[madd-mothers against drunk dudes]...and the justice leauge of sobriety...those old gals are tough!!
01-12-2013, 04:06 PM
Raised on gin....
01-12-2013, 04:27 PM
Well west it all started when afew ladies from the society rang my bell[their first mistake,hehe]and wanted to have a discussion about the evils of drink,so being the good citizen that i am i kindly offered the ladies some refreshment man you never saw 80yr old women dance like that..moonwalking-the camelwalk,which wasn't bad but when they started throwing thoses[bvd's]is when it hit the fan.
01-12-2013, 04:30 PM
What, like when a gospel choir meets Saturday Night fever?
01-12-2013, 04:58 PM
Um not quite,i still get bloomers in the mail,or imagine your doorbell rings at 3 in the morning and when you get to the door all sleepy all you see is a yugo speeding away and a box the smells of linament with a faded yellow ribbon tied to it sometimes with pictures[don't ask]!!!
01-12-2013, 05:01 PM
Ah yes, I see. Best not to ask.....
01-15-2013, 08:06 PM
Who is there of us that that hasn't happened to?
01-16-2013, 04:54 AM
True. I'm fed up of ringing doorbells at 3am, and then speeding away....
01-16-2013, 09:29 AM
Well the president of the asylum...[opps-er-ahem-hehe]the institute for the prevention of insane objectivity got tired of me banging on the door at 3am so he left the keys under a rock[since i always trip over the same rock it's easy to find...isn't modern science wonderful??
01-16-2013, 09:36 AM
Yes it is, but I didn't think you needed keys. The words 'rock' and 'window' come to mind LOL
01-16-2013, 10:25 AM
Windows?????you do not want to be around windows when you've had a sip,a steel cell is good or a padded one with little pictures drawn in so you don't feel lonely.
01-16-2013, 12:13 PM
And a computer would help a lot, too.....
01-16-2013, 07:38 PM
A strange lady did start banging away at my door at three in the morning, and in the end I let her out.
01-28-2013, 06:26 AM
That, I expect, will have been your nurse, after administering your medication...
03-28-2013, 08:09 AM
I just thought you might want to read this thread again to help you in your stint in the cuckoo clock.
[Ref "TEST!!!..." thread, posts 654 - 657]
Last edited by 144man; 03-28-2013 at 02:33 PM.
03-28-2013, 08:19 AM
How kind, 144man...and a very timely reminder that the clocks change here in the UK this weekend, so I'm preparing to 'Spring forward'.
And then there will be all those unsuspecting nests to quickly visit, in between darting back to the clock for 'Chime Time'....
03-28-2013, 02:54 PM
If the clocks are going forward, I demand some Spring weather. It's still freezing here and the Herds of Golden Daffodils are dying fast...
03-28-2013, 06:29 PM
Spring weather will be with us soon. April showers are just a few days away...
03-29-2013, 12:47 PM
Hey watch them golden daffodils,they leave those little golden dropping all over the lawn!!
03-30-2013, 05:18 AM
Other people mow their lawns. I suspect you inhale yours.....lol
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