Just a chime....or??

[144man]

How do they know I'm in the bathroom and can't come to the door? Every ******* time!

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes! And even more annoying when you know you were in at the time,and fairly certain the delivery person didn't even try the doorbell

[moe]

THOSE..............are the truest statements I've ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Which must prove that anyone paid to deliver mail not only has second sight, but an innate ability to annoy!

[144man]

"an innate ability to annoy"?

Sounds like the perfect job for me.

[moe]

Yeah, I'm in, too!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

OK, then I guess I'll have to be the referee. Seconds out....!

[144man]

Referees are extremely annoying. You're hired!

[westgrandboulevard]

Don't you need any refereences?

[144man]

I was told that if you did any work for me, I'd be very lucky.

[westgrandboulevard]

You never know your luck until a dead horse kicks you....

[144man]

It died? I thought its condition was stable.

[westgrandboulevard]

It was,until somebody tried to close the stable door before the horse had bolted. Tragic.....

[144man]

More cheap burgers though.

[moe]

And that ain't hay!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Neigh, neigh and thrice, neigh....!!

[144man]

You must be my new neighbour.

[westgrandboulevard]

You'll need to rein in any thoughts you may have of the two of us getting hitched and running together in tandem......

[144man]

There would be too many hurdles.

[westgrandboulevard]

..but you could still run for Mare?

[144man]

Even with my blinkered view on life?

[westgrandboulevard]

I've met people who work in Town Halls. It wouldn't take them long to get you in harness.

[144man]

Yes, but it would leave them with the whip-hand.

[westgrandboulevard]

Many would say it would be the first time ever that any of them got cracking.....

[144man]

It was,until somebody tried to close the stable door before the horse had bolted. Tragic.....

You can lead a horse to slaughter, but you can't make it beef.

[westgrandboulevard]

Good one. I can see why you didn't want to let that one go, even if the stable door closed 48 hours ago...

[144man]

It's never too late for a bit of wordplay...or, as in this case, a bit of horseplay.

[westgrandboulevard]

If horseplay indicates an appearance in a pantomime, then I'm taking the front half.

[144man]

You'd have to put up with all those horrible brats shouting "He's behind you".

[westgrandboulevard]

Which reminds me of that 80's classic clip from BBC "Hi-de-hi!" featuring the pantomime horse walking across the sand dunes, and the reaction to it when spotted by Mr Partridge, the Punch and Judy man [[played by Leslie Dwyer) - who really hated children.....

[144man]

I can't remember the characters' names. That was where the pantomime horse was riding a real horse and they get seen by a drunken tramp who immediately throws his bottle away.

[westgrandboulevard]

That's the one! I think it was Peggy and Spike. The 'drunken tramp' who spots them was the child-hating Punch and Judy man having a surreptitious sip of whisky [[which he enjoyed while 'on' duty as well as 'off'), hidden in the dunes....

[144man]

"Hi-de-Hi" was a classic. "'Allo 'Allo" was another favourite of mine. They don't make them like that anymore. I tried "Family Tree" last week, and it was the unfunniest thing I've ever seen.

[westgrandboulevard]

The old comedy shows focused on the absurdities of human nature and relationships, but everything was portrayed with affectionate respect. They never made you feel uncomfortable and on edge.

Most of the newer ones often are very clever, but also seem to have a cynical edge.

I hated "Mrs Brown's Boys" when I first gave it a try, for the distracting use of coarse language and for what I felt was a crude attempt at old-fashioned entertainment. Sometime later, it was on screen when I was occupied with something else in the room, and I was surprised to find myself watching intently, and felt it has a lot of heart to it....

[moe]

It was probably the hooch that made you so intent!

[westgrandboulevard]

Lack of, more likely

[144man]

Luckily for me, I didn't see an episode of "Mrs Brown's Boys" until the final one in Series 1, and I was immediately hooked. It succeeds in spite of the bad language, not because of it, but even so the language used is more true-to-life than in a soap such as "EastEnders" where if it were real the characters would be using four-letter words every other sentence.

[144man]

It was probably the hooch that made you so intent!

He might have been watching "Carry On Camping". That would have done it.

[westgrandboulevard]

I didn't want to admit that, as the tent pegs and camp fire have indeed ruined the sitting room carpet.

[144man]

My place is safe from fire as I have asbestos everywhere.

[westgrandboulevard]

Ah, you can breathe easy, then....

[144man]

I breathe asbestos I can.

[westgrandboulevard]

Try not to breathe in.

[144man]

I've held my breath since your last post. How much longer do you want me to do?

[westgrandboulevard]

You might as well relax. Look at those people holding their breath, waiting for Mary Wilson's CD. They've all had to breathe out at some time...

[moe]

What a test in lung expansion!

[144man]

My shirt buttons have all popped off.

[westgrandboulevard]

Judging by some of Mary's pics, so have hers

[moe]

You two make it impossible to respond sometimes..............

[westgrandboulevard]

Didn't Diana Ross say something similar, round about 2000?