Just a chime....or??

**arr&bee** · 04-21-2015, 07:14 PM

HEY JERRY,DID YOU MAKE IT PAST THE BORDER PATROL[I had the spotlights unplugged so you could sail in unseen].

**Jerry Oz** · 04-23-2015, 10:05 PM

They almost caught me. Fortunately, there was a load of almond trees on my ship that were bound for an arboreum in London. Quick thinking led me to climb into one and to act like a nut and they were none the wiser.

**144man** · 04-24-2015, 12:08 PM

Special Branch are on your case.

**Jerry Oz** · 04-24-2015, 12:14 PM

Then I'll climb down the tree. I'll be so low, they will never root me out.

**144man** · 04-24-2015, 12:19 PM

Your actions may well stump them.

**Jerry Oz** · 04-24-2015, 03:33 PM

Exactly. And when they pause to compare their notes, I'll leaf.

**arr&bee** · 04-25-2015, 11:06 AM

Jerry you're the best i got,great work,there's a bonus for you if you make it..opps-err-ahem-hehe..when you get back.

**Jerry Oz** · 04-25-2015, 01:05 PM

I might not want to come back. I love it over here for the most part. The only part I don't like was when I went to the historic London Dairy. I never went to a dairy before and I couldn't imagine anything stank like the London Dairy air until I was near it.

**144man** · 04-26-2015, 08:00 AM

How about the London derriere?

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-26-2015, 08:59 AM

Now you're getting to the bottom of it....

**Jerry Oz** · 04-26-2015, 01:41 PM

I was going to come up with a play on 'derriere', butt I'll leave it alone...

**westgrandboulevard** · 04-26-2015, 02:06 PM

Yes agreed, the very best thing to do is simply sit on it.

**Jerry Oz** · 04-26-2015, 10:15 PM

You are correct. And turn the other cheek when you can.

**144man** · 04-28-2015, 08:25 AM

Enough of these cracks!

**Jerry Oz** · 04-28-2015, 07:37 PM

Yes. Let us put it all behind.

**arr&bee** · 05-28-2015, 06:22 PM

Pssssssssss,hey jerry...over here behind the barrels,no it's not actually me but a recording i ran out of funds for your mission,so get back home before the captain checks your ticket.

**Jerry Oz** · 05-30-2015, 11:28 AM

He almost caught me without the ticket. I had to think quick to avoid detection, so I jumped into a barrel of almonds and acted like a nut. He found my reference novel for seafaring, though and I was not pleased with that. If you get a chance, I highly recommend you read 'How I Fell Overboard' by Ilene Dover.

**arr&bee** · 05-30-2015, 05:57 PM

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,jerry i owe you a bonus,and the next time i see you i'll give it to ya.

**Jerry Oz** · 06-01-2015, 12:25 AM

I'll look forward to it. I can use the extra loot to buy the self-help book 'Bladder Relief In 30 Days' which was written by I.P. Freeley.

**arr&bee** · 06-01-2015, 06:40 PM

I know his brother..u.r.a.turd..funky cat.

**arr&bee** · 06-20-2015, 07:15 PM

Things are looking up.

**Jerry Oz** · 07-01-2015, 01:22 AM

Why does that sound creepy to me? Things are looking up?

What things?! And what are they looking for...???

**arr&bee** · 07-01-2015, 02:40 PM

Big things comin jerry and you are gonna be right there in the middle of it too,yessiree this is gonna be good!!!!?????

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-01-2015, 03:10 PM

That sounds like a weather report being broadcast by a madman......probably via Fox.

**arr&bee** · 07-01-2015, 03:36 PM

WEST,MY MAN WHERE YA BEEN...[don't tell me]WELCOME BACK FROM WHEREVER,SOME GOOD STUFF COMING SOON,THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-01-2015, 03:46 PM

I've been right here all the time, closely studying the action on my monitor screen.

**arr&bee** · 07-01-2015, 03:58 PM

No,you mean you've been here all this time??well i'll be the son of a monkey's uncle...well welcome back from right here all the time,i've always wanted to go there.

**Jerry Oz** · 07-01-2015, 04:09 PM

I think that would make you the monkey's cousin. I Googled it make sure. Easier than saying " son of a monkey's uncle" unless you don't want to refer directly to your Pops or cousin.

I think...

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-01-2015, 04:19 PM

If he did want to refer directly to his Pops or cousin, wouldn't it be even easier if he emailed them at a zoo somewhere?

**arr&bee** · 07-01-2015, 05:15 PM

You two been readin again,haven't you?

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-01-2015, 05:25 PM

I enjoy reading dictionaries. They explain exactly what's happening as I make my way through them.

**arr&bee** · 07-01-2015, 05:28 PM

That explains you.

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-01-2015, 05:49 PM

Well yes, I suppose it might have thrown a little light on me, but it might be easier to simply use a torch....

**Jerry Oz** · 07-01-2015, 07:10 PM

Your torch reference was brilliant...

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-02-2015, 07:46 AM

Thank you for your illuminating remark, Jerry!

I had a great aunt who worked as an usherette at our local cinema. [[you can tell just how long ago it was, by that job description of 'usherette'). She was known to be sweet natured and chatty, but could become a little disorientated when negotiating the rows of stalls in the darkness of the auditorium.

During one memorable performance, she became so extremely flustered, she sat on her own torch, and showed herself up in the Circle.....

**arr&bee** · 07-02-2015, 11:24 AM

Thanks west for lighting things up, i can see what's ahead now.

**Jerry Oz** · 07-02-2015, 01:31 PM

I have a friend who got fired from a butcher's shop after he backed into a neat slicer for the third time in a month. His boss told him that he can't employ somebody who keeps getting behind in his work.

[[Rimshot!)

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-02-2015, 04:38 PM

Ta-dah!

Poor man, he was only trying to make ends meat.....

**arr&bee** · 07-02-2015, 05:41 PM

Some folks just keep[butting]in.

**westgrandboulevard** · 07-03-2015, 03:47 AM

There's no end to it.

**Jerry Oz** · 07-03-2015, 03:51 AM

And that's about as good ass it gets.

**144man** · 07-03-2015, 01:43 PM

I too have a friend who worked at a butcher's and she also backed into a slicer. Dis-arsed-her!

**arr&bee** · 07-03-2015, 06:45 PM

Such a sad tail.

**Jerry Oz** · 07-03-2015, 06:49 PM

We have to get to the bottom of these butcher shop accidents.

**arr&bee** · 07-03-2015, 06:55 PM

Good idea jerry,now i want you to go down to da hood after dark of course and were that polish sausage outfit, and just lay in front of greasy grady's grease bowl..[he's cook anything]and when he put's you in the fryer we got him.

**Jerry Oz** · 07-03-2015, 08:31 PM

Little known fact: Greasy Grady is also a top-notch florist. If you buy some fried fish from him, don't forget to buy a dozen roses for your significant other.

Little known fact: Hugh Laurie, star of the show 'House' has made it a point to put people who dabble in more than one type of business out of operation of the past few years. He says they avoid paying taxes by hiding income in their balance sheets.

Little known fact: Only Hugh can prevent florist fryers.

**arr&bee** · 07-04-2015, 10:43 AM

Oh jerry,that sausage outfit is fireproof right?

**Jerry Oz** · 07-04-2015, 12:34 PM

It was. It was Harvey-proof though. Harvey is my second cousin once removed who saw it and ate it during a recent cookout. He had the nerve to suggest that it was rude to hide food in the locked basement storage room.