Just a chime....or??

[Jerry Oz]

How big a drop? Drops in my neighborhood are pretty big...

[144man]

Not too much in society that is more disturbing than having to use a public john...

I've heard that there are more germs lurking on a computer keyboard than on a lavatory seat.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, that might be a new diagnosis for the doctors : bacterial infection caused by use of computer keyboard.

Will have to risk it. Have just spent an hour trying to send this post by drumming my fingers on a lavatory seat [[lid down, of course) but with no success at all.....

[Jerry Oz]

I've heard that there are more germs lurking on a computer keyboard than on a lavatory seat.

I frequently hear this. What they don't tell you is that the type of bacteria on keyboards is typically very different than those on toilet seats. However, if you are sharing a keyboard with others [[like at a public library or at work, for example) then you are essentially exposed to everything that their [[nasty) hands are exposed to. And I see guys walking out of the bathroom without washing their hands as often as I see them taking 30 seconds to maintain proper hygiene.

[arr&bee]

Nice pic of the original jug used by great,great,great,great,great,great,great[he was great]grandpappy for his first batch,now as for all those germs i have a new invention coming soon...hoochwipes,just wipe one over your keyboard and your worrys are over.

[144man]

I never eat complimentary nuts on a bar now for that reason.

[westgrandboulevard]

Quite so. If you query it, the barman always says it's out of his hands.....

[arr&bee]

Complimentary nut...i always took it as a compliment.

[Jerry Oz]

To say nothing of buffets. All of those nasty fingers touching all of those serving utensils result in a lot of nasty serving utensils just prior to eating what's been served. When i say grace at buffets, it's always a little longer than my normal grace.

[westgrandboulevard]

Not as long as the last rites....

[Jerry Oz]

Words no man wants to hear... Which reminds me of the three words that no man wants to hear from his wife or partner while making love:

"Honey, I'm home!"

[arr&bee]

Or thes three little words..not this decade dear i have a hangover.

[144man]

I may not be a mathematical genius, but isn't that 8 words?

[Jerry Oz]

< Oz breaks out his calculator to do some mathematics... >

Yep. Looks like that is eight words to me as well. But let me check again...

[westgrandboulevard]

Don't knock it. Here is Arr&bee, this time offering us eight words for the price of three, when generally his offer is the exact opposite.

[arr&bee]

Eight words,opps i'll have to add up the difference.

[Jerry Oz]

For only < 1100% over invoice >?

[westgrandboulevard]

Just say the word....

[Jerry Oz]

Which one? Rehab?

[westgrandboulevard]

That would certainly do very nicely.

[Jerry Oz]

Rehab is overrated. I don't need it when I'm sober and they won't let me sign in if I'm drunk. Therefore, I don't need rehab.

An addict's standard line of reason for not straightening out his life.

[arr&bee]

Yep,those addicts,i drink for my condition...[can't put it down]i don't need no rehab thank goodness,well i'm off to see my shrink.

[Jerry Oz]

Rationalization [[I only drink to calm my nerves/take the edge off/relax/help me focus/get me into the mood/have a little fun/when I know that I have nothing else to do) and Denial [[therefore, I don't have a problem) are the main enablers for people with substance abuse problems. At some point it becomes obvious to them that it's all just bull**** and they accept it. Typically, only at the point to total loss will they find the desire to admit they have a problem if not the will to address it.

For example, my wife asks why I'm always in this forum. It's all because of her, so consequently it's her fault, not mine. Right?

[westgrandboulevard]

Mrs Oz could always sign up, and we might all then have a good conversation.

She may enjoy reading your posts on this forum - or, alternatively, she may absolutely not be for 'em.

Every time she asks what you might like for dinner, there would be an immediate spike in the number of posts, giving suggestions......

[Jerry Oz]

She reads my posts when I get up to stretch my legs and she typically doesn't like them. She thinks that some enquiring mind is going to figure out who I am and somehow ruin my life by identity thievery our other shenanigans. When I tell her that is ridiculous and that they'll probably find out about my nosey wife, we tend to get into arguments. Happy happy joy joy.

[arr&bee]

A thief once stole my identity...i wonder if he's prison yet???

[arr&bee]

a thief once stole my identity...i wonder if he's prison yet???

opps...if he's out of prison yet,darn hooch.

[Jerry Oz]

If he was a really good identity thief, he might have sent the wrong guy to the joint.

[westgrandboulevard]

...saying "you'll have to excuse me, I'm not quite myself today..."

[Jerry Oz]

Well, perhaps you could see yourself working in the mirror factory one day?

[westgrandboulevard]

On reflection, I feel it would be a shattering experience.

[Jerry Oz]

Perhaps. But speaking of shattering experiences in factories, have I ever told you about when I ran amuck in a muck factory?

[westgrandboulevard]

No, but please go ahead, if you first promise you will clean it up.

[144man]

No. What happened?

[westgrandboulevard]

I feel the ordure is about to hit the fan....

[Jerry Oz]

I just wanted to make sure I didn't tell you. I left that company under a non-disclosure agreement shortly thereafter and would owe them return of the financial settlement if I let slip with the story. But if you want me to run amuck somewhere, let me know. I'm good at it and have a [[non-disclosed) reference on my resume.

[westgrandboulevard]

Every day, something new.

I never, ever thought I'd be discussing future business with someone from the Muck Mafia.

[Jerry Oz]

You don't want to run afoul of them. Nobody wants to get mucked up...

[westgrandboulevard]

If you go muck-slinging, some of it will stick.

[Jerry Oz]

I hope so. I'd hate to go through all of that hard work with nothing to show for it. American muck is 10% heavier than Euro muck.

[westgrandboulevard]

Has it been tested, for you to know that?

[arr&bee]

What the muck is goin on over here???

[westgrandboulevard]

Jerry is feeling down on his muck.

[arr&bee]

Now jerry knows that i carry the best muck in america...at only[1,000%]above factory invoice,plus shipping and handling,so stop mucking around.

[westgrandboulevard]

Where there's muck, there's money.....

[arr&bee]

And i don't muck around when there's money to be made.

[Jerry Oz]

What if I lent you my cousin JoJo' s food stamp card instead of giving you money? There's $37 left on it.

[westgrandboulevard]

$37? A pack of peanuts would seem more appropriate.

[Jerry Oz]

And now, everybody knows it. Thanks for ruining my con, WGB...

< Oz slaps his forehead >

[westgrandboulevard]

I can see that Arr&bee hasn't yet taught you everything he knows.....