Just a chime....or??

**Jerry Oz** · 10-13-2014, 06:47 PM

How about I lend you my food stamp card? It will be loaded the first of the month.

**arr&bee** · 10-15-2014, 12:43 AM

Food stamps????am i gonna mail food out,no i need hard cold cash...[well it can be warm as long as it's cash].

**Jerry Oz** · 10-15-2014, 01:27 AM

I'm afraid I'm out... Wait! I think I know somebody with a check book. She goes to sleep at 8:00 PM, so I might have a check for you at 8:15 PM tomorrow night.

**arr&bee** · 10-15-2014, 05:07 PM

You deft,i need cash money,no checks...i got hust-opps-err-ahem-hehe..humanitarians to pay.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-15-2014, 09:17 PM

Then I'll buy gift cards with the checks. I can then cash them in for food stamps at 80% of their value. Then I can trade the food stamps in for stuff they sell behind the convenience store for 50% of their value. If I'm lucky, I can pawn what I buy with the food stamps and have your money by noon. Just let me know.

**arr&bee** · 10-16-2014, 12:09 AM

Jerry it's a pleasure doing business with you...you reading this west?

**Jerry Oz** · 10-16-2014, 01:13 PM

Bad news to report. I got stopped and frisked on the way home. The po-po found my false ID, a couple of forged checks, and a 9 mm handgun with the serial number scratched off of it. I told them I was wearing my brother's pants today [[which clearly explained that the contraband was not mine. Duh!) but they only believed me when I offered to give them the money.

So, I might have to come up with something else...

**arr&bee** · 10-16-2014, 04:18 PM

DON'T WORRY JERRY MY LAWYER IS BEING CALLED AS I TYPE THIS...[you won't do more than 20yrs to life]NOW WHERE DID I PUT HIS PHONEBOOTH NUMBER?

**Jerry Oz** · 10-16-2014, 06:59 PM

It's cool. Once they ripped me off, they told me to forget everything. So I forgot. Always happy to find the Policemen's Benevolent League.

BTW: I may need you to testify that I'm a fan of those assho

Sorry. I meant to say that I may need you to testify that I appreciate the boys in blue one day, so try to remember this post.

**arr&bee** · 10-17-2014, 12:53 AM

Remember what???

**Jerry Oz** · 10-17-2014, 02:30 PM

Good point. Anybody who stands up to the fuzz draws their attention. And you don't want that.

**arr&bee** · 10-18-2014, 01:29 PM

Yeah well you know how it is,because of some of my many enterprises there are some states that i can go into until after dark,because of teeny tiny misunderstandings with some judges about lisenses and things of that nature,you know small stuff...like the sunglasses i sold to this cop one night,how did i know that the protective tint would melt in the sun,i sold em to him at night,stuff like that,i tell ya jerry i'm the[rodney dangerfield]of small business men.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-18-2014, 03:07 PM

Cops are anti-capitalism. Free market principles should determine what we should be able to sell to anybody who wants to buy it. If that cop was unhappy with the glasses you sold him, he should consider the experience. He didn't just buy knockoff sunglasses from you, he paid for a lesson about why he shouldn't do it again.

Ungrateful son of a gun.

**arr&bee** · 10-18-2014, 07:26 PM

Jerry,you're alright[big words and all]we should go in to business together,why with your bigwords and my getaway car we'll clean out...opps-err-ahem-hehe..clean up in business,and we split the profits almost in half...75-25...[well i'm the one with the products].

**Jerry Oz** · 10-18-2014, 11:18 PM

You're too generous. If gladly settle for 70%. Especially since you have the product.

**arr&bee** · 10-20-2014, 12:49 AM

My lawyer will draw up the papers...[he learned how to draw while incar]...opps-err-ahem-hehe..incorporated.

**144man** · 10-20-2014, 02:37 PM

I thought that after your difference of opinion that he was incapacitated.

**westgrandboulevard** · 10-20-2014, 03:16 PM

Sadly, he found himself crippled by his final percentage share of the profit.

**arr&bee** · 10-20-2014, 06:48 PM

MY LAWYER IS A SMART MAN,HE GRADUATED THIRD IN HIS CLASS...[of course there were only three people in the class]BUT HE STILL RECIEVED HIS ULTIMATUMS AND IMITATIONS AS WELL AS OL ANG SYNG AND E PLURIBUS ENUM,HE KNOWS HIS STUFF AND IF YOU'RE LUCKY HE'LL GET YOU NO MORE THAN[20 TO LIFE]..WHO NEEDS PERRY MASON.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-20-2014, 08:10 PM

Ummm... I think Perry would be my choice of its all the same with you...

**arr&bee** · 10-21-2014, 12:23 AM

JERRY,JERRY THOSE BIG LAW FIRMS CHARGE YOU ALL THAT MONEY...[AND YOU STILL GET LOCKED UP]NOW MY LAWYER CHARGES VERY LITTLE...[of course you get little in return]NOW YOU STILL GET LOCKED UP,BUT WHEN HE DOES GET YOU OUT...[I hope]YOUR BILL WILL BE PAID IN FULL...[of course he doesn't cover court cost,bail or bail jumping]AND HE WON'T STOP UNTIL HE CLEARS YOUR GOOD NAME...[assuming he remembers it].

**Jerry Oz** · 10-21-2014, 01:25 PM

I don't know. I followed Perry Mason on Twitter and we discussed the break up of Sonny and Cher. I don't think he'll charge to represent me because he told me that he was pro Bono.

**arr&bee** · 10-22-2014, 12:42 AM

My lawyer remembers that case,he was just getting out-opps-err-ahem-hehe..starting out then and perry wouldn't give him a job.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-22-2014, 12:50 AM

To be honest, Perry's specialty is breaking people down to confess to crimes and your lawyer had already done that... He doesn't want to pick low-hanging fruit.

**144man** · 10-22-2014, 05:45 PM

If you want a legal firm that specialises in breaking people down, I can recommend "Smella, Ratte & Holler".

**westgrandboulevard** · 10-22-2014, 06:04 PM

Are they specialists in compensation?

**Jerry Oz** · 10-22-2014, 06:30 PM

When it comes to compensation, I'm more familiar with Dewey Soothem & Howell.

**arr&bee** · 10-22-2014, 08:18 PM

My lawyer works for the firm of..fleechem and runn.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-22-2014, 10:41 PM

I worked with one of them. He gave me a business card. I asked why and he said they're always willing to give the business to somebody.

**arr&bee** · 10-23-2014, 12:30 AM

This lawyer will take any case..[as long as the cash holds up]his law firm defended famous folks such as..king louis and marie anntoinette..[of course they got in over thier heads and lost em]but the law firm survived.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-23-2014, 03:28 AM

Cool cool cool. I don't know anybody of French descent but I love the cuisine. I had French fries and French toast for breakfast yesterday.

**144man** · 10-23-2014, 12:20 PM

I can have breakfast an hour later on Sunday. British Summertime ends at the weekend.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-23-2014, 01:22 PM

And our daylight savings time will end the first weekend in November. Darkness looms...

**westgrandboulevard** · 10-23-2014, 04:12 PM

And Spring beckons... even if from quite a distance.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-23-2014, 05:33 PM

Ever the optimist... I can't see the Spring from here but I'll appreciate each day as if it was still here.

**westgrandboulevard** · 10-23-2014, 05:48 PM

I'm an idealist, even if I do often struggle to attain that exalted state....

In readiness, I've started buying bulbs for planting, to flower in Spring...which will soon enough be closer to us, than last summer....

**Jerry Oz** · 10-23-2014, 08:17 PM

That's a good way to be. From my perspective, if I expected to die tomorrow and the executioner offered me another day, I don't think it would matter if it rained or snowed. I'll take all that I can get. Simply stated, I hope to be around long enough to see your bulbs grow and flourish. Well, or at least long enough to read your account of it...

**arr&bee** · 10-24-2014, 12:29 AM

Flowers?..planting??what is this the flower show,geez guys if you love em that much i can get you some nice plastic ones...[and you don't have to water em either.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-24-2014, 12:35 PM

Ummm... You do know that hooch is plant-based, right? Well, the hooch that you can purchase at your local store or still is plant-based. Even grain-alcohol. But of course you do...

**arr&bee** · 10-24-2014, 02:46 PM

Um jerry,i can't tell you what kind of plants i use,let's just say that you won't find them in any garden in the known hemisphere.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-25-2014, 02:51 AM

Remember that old movie, 'The Day of the Triffids'? Where the plants came from outer space and ate everybody? I just thought of a great idea for a remake where you and your still factor in the end. You wind up processing them into hooch. Unless you already are.

**arr&bee** · 10-25-2014, 03:49 PM

Shhhhhh jerry,not so loud.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-25-2014, 05:22 PM

It's all good. Just like most people prefer not to see their sausage being made, I just as soon don't wanna know what goes into hmmmm hooch during the creative process. So I'll ask no questions of you tell no lies.

**144man** · 10-26-2014, 02:42 PM

Those Soylent Green Sausages used to taste pretty good.

**westgrandboulevard** · 10-26-2014, 03:23 PM

I trust the nearest you ever came to actually having that experience was by eating the book.

**Jerry Oz** · 10-26-2014, 11:22 PM

At this rate, nobody will want to eat Soylent Green unless they trust it to be made of people certified to be Ebola-free. So I'd hold off on buying shares of stock if I were you.

**arr&bee** · 10-27-2014, 12:49 AM

THAT'S WHY WE NEED THIS WONDERFUL ELIXUR MORE THAN EVER...[it'll kill ebola]THE INNER FORCES OF THIS WONDERFUL TONIC WILL TURN YOUR INSIDES OUT SO QUIK THAT NOTHING WILL EVER HURT YOU...[and you thought that Madusa worked fast?].