TEST!! Had this been an actual post, you'd have been instructed to...

[moe]

It went to lunch,144man.

[arr&bee]

well, i carried on down those stairs to the basement at arr&bee's house.

You were right. There was indeed a baby and a rattle down there, in the company of a woman of indescribable looks, who emerged tottering from the shadows, peering at us. There was a haze of pure alcohol around her. Said she was looking after the baby, to raise money. Asked if i had any cash on me [[well,that didn't surprise me, with me being in arr&bee's house....) so i gave her what i had, and she told me about her life. Had worked in alabama as a dancer, going by the name of mobile lil, before the days of go-go had all gone-gone. Had then starting reading classic old stories and, to give her stage image a bit of edge, renamed herself gagool, after the evil hag in 'king solomon's mines'.

Had been working as housekeeper for arr&bee for years, living in his basement, which she says he lets her have for 1,000% over invoice price, with occasional gifts of diamonds to humour her, all the while entrusting her to 'keep the secret'.

While thinking i already knew the answer, i asked her "what is the secret?". She thought for a while, then said there was a curse, which she dare not risk. "instead, i will offer you and the lady [[that was moe) some drinks, and i will entertain the three of you in dance". She reached into the darkness, and brought out an ancient tambourine, then shook it in the air, singing very high notes and muttering to herself. "will you join me in song and dance?" she asked.

While i declined, moe jumped up in excitement and said "i'll do it!". Gagool said "first we must make up. The lovely lady here must look as bad as possible, and i must look as good as possible".

A few minutes later, moe had painted her face to resemble gagool. The transfomation was terrifying. As for gagool, while she had made a valiant effort to change her own appearance, she and moe closely resembled each other.

From nowhere, music blasted through the basement. Incredibly, the baby slept on [[probably while in an alcohol induced stupor). Gagool shook her tambourine with great ferocity, crying "inspired by the classic production of king solomon's mines...!", while moe seized the baby's rattle, and they both launched into raucous song :

"diamonds are a gagool's best friend"......

At the end of the number, when gagool fell to the floor exhausted, the members of gagool's audience ran back up the stairs as fast as we possibly could, moe clutching the baby's rattle in her panic, which she then placed in her purse for safety.

So, you weren't dreaming, after all, were you.....because you were there.....

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..good stuff west,but you left out my[pet peeve]and he's angry,i showed him the map of england and he peed on it.

[144man]

Sorry your pet peeve got rattled.

[westgrandboulevard]

My pet rat was peeved to hear it.

[moe]

Who really gives a rat's? If it's having as urinary issue get it a catheter!

[144man]

Its bladder got badder.

[arr&bee]

Umm moe my pet peeve bits girls too.

[westgrandboulevard]

At least it does not practise sexual discrimination.

[arr&bee]

No it just likes to bite.

[westgrandboulevard]

Must be very down in the mouth.

[moe]

Not to mention the dentist bills!

[westgrandboulevard]

I feel we are definitely talking over-bite here....

[144man]

Thanks for reminding me I'm due for my dental check-up

[westgrandboulevard]

Hopefully, the reminder won't cause disappointment.

[144man]

And I am telling you I'm not going.

[westgrandboulevard]

Then you could perhaps mail your teeth to the dentist, and collect them later, when it is more convenient?

[arr&bee]

144man get to the teeth of the situation.

[westgrandboulevard]

Fly in the teeth of your fear!

[arr&bee]

Yeah and down the nostrils of illusion.

[westgrandboulevard]

There's nothing illusory about my sinus pain.....

[arr&bee]

WEST,WEST MY GOOD CHAP,WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PAIN,I GOT JUST THE THING...I PRACTICE A LITTLE MEDICINE ON THE SIDE...[what license??]NOW I GOT A LITTLE CONCOCTION YOU JUST PUT IT ON TOP OF YOUR PINKY[DON'T ASK]AND IN FO
RTY EIGHT DAYS OR TWO YEARS[WHICHEVER COMES FIRST]YOUR PINKY WILL BLEFR NY ECOME WELL[PINK]AND YOU'LL BE FINE...NOW AS ALWAYS WE AREN'T RESPONSIBLE OR RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO RESPOND IF WE KNEW WHAT WE WERE DOING BUT IF YOUR PINKY FALLS OFF YOU CAN SEND IT TO US IN A SELF ADDRESSED ENVELOPE AND WE'LL SEND YOU A NEW ONE...OF COURSE A SMALL FEE OF..5,000%ABOVE FACTORY INVOICE,PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.

[moe]

R&B' s distant relative must have been PT Barnum!

[arr&bee]

Ahhh uncle[pt]i remember him well.

[moe]

Right................

[arr&bee]

Hehehehehehehehe!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

'Distant' relative = so slippery, no-one could catch him....

[144man]

My family is full of those sort of characters.

[westgrandboulevard]

Your family sounds very interesting. Details, please....

[moe]

Your family sounds very interesting. Details, please....

Yes, you must tell us!

[144man]

They're so distant they might as well be in another universe.

[arr&bee]

HEY MOE,I GOT A POSITION FOR YOU,I NEED A SECRETARY FOR MY LEGAL BUSINESS[how's you slight of hand..opps-err-ahem-hehe..your shorthand?]I'LL SPLIT ALL LEGAL FEES RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE...90-10,SOUNDS EXCITING DOESN'T IT?

[westgrandboulevard]

Nowhere near as exciting as the sound of 144man's family. Emotional repressives, the lot of them?

And Moe should be CEO for your legal business, not secretary. That way, she'll make it her business to know what you're up to.....

[moe]

A secretary, R&B? WHY? Because I'm a female? You just opened up a can of worms, dear!! I accept CEO westgrand!!!

[arr&bee]

Those worms were already in the can when i found em,my dear moe...i like you like a stepsister that's why i'm offering you this nice position with my firm...[if secretary offends you pick another title]of course you realize that the salary ain't changin no matter what it says on the door.

[moe]

I'll start my own company..........thanks

[144man]

Nobody likes my company

[westgrandboulevard]

Here's one person who likes your company. I've clocked up 21295 posts on SDF, and a substantial number of those were in response to something you said.

Of course, if you don't like your own company, now that might be something which only you could rectify. You could start the procedure by opening a bar of chocolate....

[moe]

I like your company 144man & I like chocolate westgrand!!!!

[arr&bee]

What is this,a lonely hearts colume what next violins???

[westgrandboulevard]

There is music at the heart of this forum so, yes, bring on the violins.

Besides, you should be very familiar with them, having pulled quite a few strings in your time...not to mention all the stings.....

[144man]

The first R & B hit to have strings on was, I've been told, the Drifters' "There Goes My Baby". If that hadn't been a hit, the whole future of R & B and Motown might have been different.

[westgrandboulevard]

Indeed it would. While on the subject, there are several Motown 45s which come to mind that have an earthy, r&b feel but, to my ears, sound somehow unfinished, and are lacking a certain something...like strings.

On most occasions, the producers at Motown scored the string section on a 'less is more' basis, to underscore the brass, but not sweeten the mix too much. The finished result was usually all the better for it.

[144man]

Listening to a lot of 70s Gamble-Huff now, I feel that the strings are a bit overdone. I never felt like that when they first came out.

[westgrandboulevard]

Philly never really did it for me in any quantity, or to anywhere near the degree of Motown.

Glossy, and very listenable for the mass market but, for me, too light on the bass and drums, and far too syrupy on the strings. In fact, too 'white'.

[144man]

The early stuff was less turgid and dare-I-say? more Motown inspired. The Neptune label had some great records on it.

[westgrandboulevard]

Like 'One Night Affair'...those strings are haunting...although I don't care so much for the drumming.

[144man]

"We're Only Human" would have been suitable for Marvin & Tammi.

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, very much...but so much better for Motown's income stream if songs recorded were from Jobete's own catalogue.

[144man]

"Taboo" by the Indigos is a good song that's often overlooked. It's on YouTube, but the sound quality isn't brilliant.

[arr&bee]

144man,there goes my baby almost was not released because the tympani was out of tune and jerry wexler had a fit,but they took a chance and the rest is history.