TEST!! Had this been an actual post, you'd have been instructed to...

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, at least [[and for that, best read 'at most') Moe will certainly be told that a fortune is looming.

Arr&bee is a great teller of fortune. Not only is he our very own Jester to the Court of Soulful Detroit, but a veritable Soothsayer.

[moe]

Always for a price that R&B!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

He's still looking for that elusive person who feels the price is right.

[moe]

Maybe R&B should've replaced Bob Barker.

[westgrandboulevard]

Fairground Barker also comes to mind....[["Roll up! Roll up!"...)

[144man]

Just cross his palm with silver and he'll tell all.

[westgrandboulevard]

If you simply crossed his path, he'd still tell you all.

[144man]

Crossed his path? You try finding him.

[westgrandboulevard]

He seems to find us. Why, even now, he will be lurking, reading these posts, waiting to sign in and then make a grand entrance.

Keep talking and don't turn round, but that may be him, right over there......

[144man]

No. That's just the burglar.

[westgrandboulevard]

Can't be. We're the burglars. We're in Arr&bee's house.....

[moe]

Are you kidding? He'd want us to pay for entering!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Yes, Moe. I did notice there was no front door, just a turnstile.

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... ..i'm on the floor,you guys are nuts...i luv it..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Call the paramedics, Moe! I think Arr&bee is having a fit.

PS.. Don't give them our names. Just say we're 'well-wishers'......in the meantime, we'll keep looking for any steps which look like they may lead down to a cellar.....

[moe]

If R&B is having a fit perhaps he needs a shock treatment or two [[or three). We could just leave a note with the paramedics from the "well=wishers."

[westgrandboulevard]

Good idea. I'll leave a post-it note on his forehead, saying "Yours. The well-wishers"

Before they get here [[you know you can't always rely on a speedy response) there's just time to check out those cellar steps....

[moe]

Are you talking about the much talked-about but never seen hooch?
It could be in his basement!! Quick westgrand, get 144man & let's move!!!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

144man was here just now. I called, but there was no answer. Perhaps he went on down the stairs.....?

Can you see that pole by the door to what I call a cellar, you call a basement [[who cares what it's called) - ?

There's a sign on the top, but the writing is too small to read from down here.

Stand back Moe, I'm going to shimmy up the pole to read what it says. Maybe it's a clue!
Here I go.....

[144man]

I'm ahead of you, going down the stairs. There's a horrible rattling sound ahead that I don't like the sound of.

[westgrandboulevard]

Keep in touch, but tread very warily. I'll check out the sign, and then follow soonest.

I'll ask Moe to check the contents of her purse [[you can see I'm speaking the language she understands!). It's so capacious, she must surely have a torch in there, for use in dark situations....

[144man]

The rattling sound wasn't a snake. It turned out to be a baby with a rattle. I haven't a clue what it's doing down here.

[westgrandboulevard]

Are you sure it's a baby, and not a witch doctor?

I'm nearly up to the top of this pole.....

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... .you guys gotta get your own reality show,opps i forgot we don't actually exist and any actual similarity between this post and any real threads are purely conincidental....oh stay out of the basement,it's items there that can't be explained and i'm not responsible for any horrors that might and will be met....beware!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, I'm at the top of the pole, and if I just stretch up a bit, I'll be able to read this sign.

And...
It says.......
Oh............

It says ''WET PAINT' .....

[westgrandboulevard]

Are you still there, 144man - ?!

We're on our way to you, down the stairs.....

[[I wish someone would tell this orchestra not to play the backgound music so LOUD. I can hardly hear myself typing this...)

[arr&bee]

Um west,that ain't paint.

[westgrandboulevard]

Then I'd better not wet it.....

[arr&bee]

Back down the pole very slowly and don't light a match.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm halfway down the stairs you said we shouldn't go down. I hope there's a panic button to hit. And I've lost sight of 144man....

[arr&bee]

You guys always go where you shouldn't,144man will turn up...[i hope]by the way.....where's moe???

[westgrandboulevard]

144man is somewhere in front of me. Moe is right behind me, shining a light through the darkness. [[didn't you pay the electric company? Burglars have Health & Safety rights, you know!)

[arr&bee]

I don't have electricity,i don't cover your health rights,i hope you got blue cross.

[westgrandboulevard]

We do. Over here, it's an Animal Charity!

What's Blue Cross over there?

[arr&bee]

Expensive!!

[westgrandboulevard]

Oh yes, I see. Health Insurance.

Very often, it would be cheaper to eat the best food you could afford.....or even junk food, but with extra vitamins.

[arr&bee]

Vitamins???who can afford em?

[westgrandboulevard]

OK, well, get all the sunshine you can, then....

[arr&bee]

I don't deal with the sun...got burned once,darn sun can't be trusted.

[westgrandboulevard]

You should shadow it, see where it goes.....

[arr&bee]

It shines a bright light.

[moe]

Hmmm..........maybe there's something to the fact that R&B only comes out at night???

Psst: 144man: you were right as to the contents of my purse!!!

[144man]

The passage was getting darker and darker. The floorboards were rotting. They could not hold my weight. I felt myself falling...falling...falling. I hit the bottom and then there was Nothing.

I woke up at home, safely in my bed. I would have thought it had all been a dream except for the fact that I was smelling of alcohol and vomit. I would have thought that it had just been a hooch-influenced trip except for the fact that I had woken up clutching Moe's purse.
I opened the purse. Inside was a baby's rattle!

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, I carried on down those stairs to the basement at Arr&bee's house.

You were right. There was indeed a baby and a rattle down there, in the company of a woman of indescribable looks, who emerged tottering from the shadows, peering at us. There was a haze of pure alcohol around her. Said she was looking after the baby, to raise money. Asked if I had any cash on me [[well,that didn't surprise me, with me being in Arr&bee's house....) so I gave her what I had, and she told me about her life. Had worked in Alabama as a dancer, going by the name of Mobile Lil, before the days of go-go had all gone-gone. Had then starting reading classic old stories and, to give her stage image a bit of edge, renamed herself Gagool, after the evil hag in 'King Solomon's Mines'.

Had been working as housekeeper for Arr&bee for years, living in his basement, which she says he lets her have for 1,000% over invoice price, with occasional gifts of diamonds to humour her, all the while entrusting her to 'keep The Secret'.

While thinking I already knew the answer, I asked her "What is the secret?". She thought for a while, then said there was a curse, which she dare not risk. "Instead, I will offer you and the lady [[that was Moe) some drinks, and I will entertain the three of you in dance". She reached into the darkness, and brought out an ancient tambourine, then shook it in the air, singing very high notes and muttering to herself. "Will you join me in song and dance?" she asked.

While I declined, Moe jumped up in excitement and said "I'll do it!". Gagool said "First we must make up. The lovely lady here must look as bad as possible, and I must look as good as possible".

A few minutes later, Moe had painted her face to resemble Gagool. The transfomation was terrifying. As for Gagool, while she had made a valiant effort to change her own appearance, she and Moe closely resembled each other.

From nowhere, music blasted through the basement. Incredibly, the baby slept on [[probably while in an alcohol induced stupor). Gagool shook her tambourine with great ferocity, crying "Inspired by the classic production of King Solomon's Mines...!", while Moe seized the baby's rattle, and they both launched into raucous song :

"Diamonds Are A Gagool's Best Friend"......

At the end of the number, when Gagool fell to the floor exhausted, the members of Gagool's audience ran back up the stairs as fast as we possibly could, Moe clutching the baby's rattle in her panic, which she then placed in her purse for safety.

So, you weren't dreaming, after all, were you.....because you were there.....

[moe]

And so was I!!!

[westgrandboulevard]

I have Gagool's mobile number. I want to know more about 'Keeping The Secret'......

[moe]

I'm sure all three of us want to know that secret!

[westgrandboulevard]

Better make that four. Arr&bee won't really have a clue, either...

[144man]

I intended writing a bit more on the subject, but I appear to have lost the plot.

[westgrandboulevard]

Don't worry. I'm sure it will find you, soon enough.