Calling ms.moe[superstar]

**arr&bee** · 11-14-2015, 06:07 PM

Hey moe,where you at???nobody has seen you since that mishap on the set of your latest motion picture,where big duufuss was hired as a prop man and when the director said[cut]he chased him off the set with a machete,i told you never to hire that fool under any circumstances...word on the street is the director had a mental breakdown and nobody can find duufuss..or the machete!!!

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-14-2015, 06:21 PM

My client, Ms Moe [[Superstar) commands me to thank you, for your concern about her welfare.

Ms Moe is...well.....fair....since beating my front door with her fists, and then bursting through in a state of great agitation.

Since that moment, Ms Moe has hardly left the broom cupboard.

These great artists pay such a heavy price for being possessed of a temperament so talented, yet so sensitive.

**arr&bee** · 11-16-2015, 05:39 PM

OH DID I MENTION THAT THE MACHETE IS MADE OF PAPER...TELL MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]NOT TO DISPAIR,I'M SENDING TWO OF MY BEST GANGSTERS..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE,TWO OF MY BEST GUARDIANS TO ESCORT HER TO AND FROM THE SET[she's like a distant stepsister]AND BIG DUUFUSS IS IN FOR IT WHEN I CATCH HIM,OH AND TELL HER NOT TO WORRY ABOUT MY FEE I'M CONCERNED ABOUT HER WELLBEING....[of course there'll be a teeny tiny itty bitty 75% of the salary on her next five films]SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO THANK ME,I'M HER HUMBLE SERVANT.

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-16-2015, 06:03 PM

Charles Dickens wrote all about an 'umble servant. Went by the name of Uriah Heep.....

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-16-2015, 06:29 PM

PS. Ms Moe [[Superstar) has gone on holiday, destination unknown, return date unknown.

Moe is sitting on a secluded, sunny beach somewhere, sipping her favourite drink, and counting her money.

And when she's counted her money, she counts it all out again.

Apparently, all the while she's doing that, she laughs a lot.....

**arr&bee** · 11-16-2015, 06:38 PM

OH AND MADAME[TEAPOT]IS SENDING OVER ONE OF HER[SPECIAL]TEABAGS AFTER NEWS REACHED HER, MADAME IS A BIG FAN OF MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]AND WARNS..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE...WANTS HER TO HAVE ONLY JOY AND A LONG CAREER...[although she was the laughingstock of da hood when she was stood up not to mention the price of all those plastic plates and plastics ware]BUT MADAME IS A FORGIVING SOUL,SO ENJOY YOUR TEA WITH ALL SERENITY AND SORORITY AND SERENDIPIDY AND DIPPIDY DO!!!

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-16-2015, 06:51 PM

I have never read such warm, good wishes, with such a strong sense of foreboding.....

**arr&bee** · 11-16-2015, 07:13 PM

HEY WEST,THIS OUTTA CHEER HER UP,I GOT A SCRIPT BEING WRITTEN AS WE SPEAK JUST FOR MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]IT'S FANTASY..HOW'S THAT FOR IMAGINATION..I'VE HIRED THE GREAT WRITER...EYE A.M.BROKE,HE'S BEEN IN REMISSION..-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..IN RETIREMENT FOR YEARS YOU MAY REMEMBER HIM FROM SUCH CLUNKERS..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..SUCH CLASSIC AS-GONE WITHOUT SKIN..PRIDE AND PRUNES..THE EASTERBUNNIE RIDES AGAIN..WOOD IS A MANY SPLINDERED TREE...LOVE UNDER THE TOADSTOOL,THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONE I KNOW SHE'LL BE LOST FOR WORDS[everybody else is]THIS MAY BE A LOVE STORY AND HER FIRST SCREEN KISS...[the screen has no lines]I'M PUTTING BIG MONEY ON THIS ONE...[I've collected 2.50 so far]AND THAT'S JUST FROM WORD OF MOUTH,WEST YOUR NAME WILL BE IMMORTALIZED AFTER THIS ONE JUST FOR BEING HER AGENT...THE GOLDEN TURKEY COMMITEE IS WAITING FOR THIS ONE,TELL MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR] THAT SHE'LL BE BIGGER THAN EVER,OH AND I'M LINING UP HER LEADING MAN...BIG SURPRISE...[and a big lineup]....THIS IS GONNA BE BIG!!!!!

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-16-2015, 07:25 PM

Enthusiasm can be exhausting. Ahem! I just need time to recall when I last had some.

If I could actually find The Missing Moe, I might know how she ranks your offer on her own scale of enthusiasm.....

**moe** · 11-16-2015, 09:11 PM

Curb Your Enthusiasm R&B!

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 01:20 AM

Originally Posted by westgrandboulevard

My client, Ms Moe [[Superstar) commands me to thank you, for your concern about her welfare.

Ms Moe is...well.....fair....since beating my front door with her fists, and then bursting through in a state of great agitation.

Since that moment, Ms Moe has hardly left the broom cupboard.

These great artists pay such a heavy price for being possessed of a temperament so talented, yet so sensitive.

Wait! So she's on welfare? And she's got money to count?! That's why I'm voting for Donald Gump.

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 06:30 AM

Absolutely no welfare. Moe continues to work very hard for the money she receives from her real-life job.

If the work goes on at the pace it is, a counsellor will need to be permanently on hand! But there is a light ahead, as retirement now beckons....

The money Ms Moe is counting on the secluded island is just virtual money, from her virtual career, of being virtually a Superstar.

It's all about as real as Madame Teapot, Little Bits and 'da hood'.....

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 01:01 PM

Wait! Those aren't real people and places? So, I've been bamboozled all this time?!

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 01:28 PM

At least you get to make of them whatever you like....

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 01:36 PM

The fever dreams of a madman who likes soul music and posting on SDF Clubhouse? That sounds like it would be a great premise for a movie. We can get moe to star in it. I'll find the music for the project. You can produce it and arr&bee can direct it. [[Don't worry, I'll do it for... 685% of total profits, so it can be done. Just pay me in advance).

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 02:07 PM

I can tell you've been attending Arr&bee's virtual school of business.......

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 02:28 PM

A lot of things become virtual with just one sip of that wonderful elixur...

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 02:58 PM

I guess if you can believe hard enough, it won't even need just the one sip.....

**arr&bee** · 11-17-2015, 05:45 PM

UMM WEST I WOULDN'T GO AROUND TELLING FOLKS THAT DA HOOD DON'T EXIST....[the last person to do that got a visit from the dancing pigsfeet...they kicked his door in]GREASY IS HEADED TO THE UK AS WE SPEAK,[HM]HAS ALERTED THE-BRITISH SECRECT SERVICE-THE ROYAL MARINES-THE C.I.A.-THE F.B.I.-THE P.T.A.-THE COASTGAURD-LACOSA NOSTRA-NASTRADOMAS-ST NICHOLAS-THE MUNCHKINS.....AND NONE CAN LOCATE HIM...WHEN HE SHOWS UP,AND HE WILL DO NOT TELL HIM THAT DA HOOD AIN'T REAL JUST INVITE HIM IN AND FIX HIM SOME TEA.

**arr&bee** · 11-17-2015, 05:53 PM

HEY JERRY I LIKE THAT MADMAN IDEA,THEATRICAL THEODORE WOULD BE GREAT AS THE MADMAN AND OF COURSE OUR OWN..MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]AS THE OBJECT OF HIS DEMENTED SADISTIC HORRIFIC MEANSPIRITED DASTARDLY BUT LIKEABLE PLOT TO WIN HER AFFECTIONS...[and he'll be out of the institution by then too]ALL THOSE YEARS OF SHOCK THERAPY WILL PREPARE HIM FOR WHAT WILL BE HIS GREATEST ROLE TO DATE,JERRY GET TO WORK ON THAT SCRIPT!!

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 06:21 PM

Already working on it:
THE DEMENTED MADMAN OF DETROIT

Ext. [[Night)
Two men, Arby and Wes, are walking down a silent residential street. Wes notices that his friend is deep in thought and taps on his shoulder to get his attention.

Wes: Speak to me, hombre. Something weighs heavy on you, no?
Arby: I can't tell, you. It's kind of personal.
Wes: No! Do not say that. We have been amigos since we escaped together from that supermax prison in Poughkeepsie seven years ago. Su problema es mi problema. Is it senorita Littlebits again? If so, perhaps I cannot help you.
Arby: It is her, Homes. I bought a pack of peppermint Tic Tacs and I think she stole them because I can't find them. I also can't find the batch of top secret experimental hooch that I'm developing for the government and they're expecting it for breakfast at the White House tomorrow morning.
Wes: Oye como va! So you are telling me that--
Arby: Exactly! I've been de-minted and I'm mad, man.

That's all that I have so far. It's some of my best stuff.

**arr&bee** · 11-17-2015, 06:27 PM

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aa...........ohhh it don't get no better than this...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..i'm on the floor i'm hangin on the chandelier,haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....i don't know if i can read anymore of this my sides are split my ribs are cracked and so is this script...i love it,haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa exclamation point

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 06:31 PM

Will everybody just stand well back, and let the medics through, please.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 06:34 PM

Hmmm... It's not supposed to be a comedy...

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 06:49 PM

Not to worry. If it's titled 'The Demented Madman Of Detroit', I think you've just found your leading actor......

**arr&bee** · 11-17-2015, 06:50 PM

Haaa...huh???it 's not????

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-17-2015, 07:12 PM

You'll have to decide, before voting begins to select the Academy Award nominees in each category.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-17-2015, 07:47 PM

Int. [[Twilight)
Arby is talking to a man in safari clothing. This is the most notorious big game hunter in the world, Wannfour Foremann. He has a chain around his neck that is adorned with seven human skulls and he's carrying an elephant gun. His face is deeply scarred, his huge biceps are tattooed in sleeves with scenes of warring demons, he does not smile.

Foremann: I read your letter. You say you've a job for me, eh? Let me tell you, I only hunt big game, Mate. I ain't cheap and if there's no challenge to the hunt, I've no interest in the job. So what do you want me to do?
Arby: I want you to get my friend back. And to find my Tic Tacs.
Foremann: Okay, you have my attention. Where is your friend?
Arby: Well, I really wanted my Tic Tacs, so when my friend was sleeping I dressed him up like a slab of barbecued ribs, hoping the beast would come for him and I could follow it back to its lair. But it burst through the wall so fast, he was gone before I could tell what was going on.
Foremann [[loading his elephant gun): You have my attention. I'll hunt the beast, find your friend, and return your Tic Tacs. Tell me about this creature.
Arby [[looking out a window, shuddering as he speaks): Well, her name is Littlebits and--[[turning around, he finds that Foremann has disappeared. Arby's phone rings and he answers it.) Hello?
Foremann [[On the phone): Screw you mate! You didn't tell me it was a bloody suicide mission.

The call ends and Arby looks out the window and sighs. [[Fade to black)

**arr&bee** · 11-18-2015, 05:06 PM

THAT'S IT GREAT STUFF,ACADEMY[THOSE PHONIES]NO WE'RE TALKIN[GOLDEN TURKEY AWARDS]WEST ARE YOU READING THIS,I'LL HAVE A COPY FLOWN TO YOU BY CARRIER BUZZARD,JERRY THIS IS THE KINDA WRITING THAT'S BEEN MISSING FROM THE POLARIOD SCREEN WE'RE BACK BABY...MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]HAS BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE...[she's probably fainted from excitement]I CAN WAIT FOR THEATRICAL THEODORE I GOT A BIGGER LEADING MAN...BUSTOUT BLOCKHEAD...[he just busted out]-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE...HE'S BUSTING WITH EXCITEMENT,OF COURSE HE WON'T REMEMBER ANY LINES[he flunked kindergarden ten times]SO THEODORE WILL READ HIS LINES OFF SCREEN,I'M GONNA HAVE TO HIRE PROF.SPECKELED SPEECHREADER TO WORK WITH THEODORE ON THAT AUSTRALIAN ACCENT..[he's never been outta the hood but as a child he was once kicked in the head by a kangaroo]AND HE'S HAD THAT ACCENT EVER SINCE...JERRY YOU'RE A GENIOUS...AND SMART TOO.

**arr&bee** · 11-19-2015, 02:51 PM

I'M WORKING ON THE BACKLOT AS WE SPEAK...[well technically it's out back of the rockquarry behind the toxic landfill on the back side of the cemetery beside the chemical fumes testing grounds]IN OTHER WORDS-PERFECT LOCATION,MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]YOUR DRIVER WILL DELIVER ALONG WITH YOUR CONTRACT A SUPERSTAR GASMASK MADE JUST FOR YOU...[you'll need it]DON'T WORRY[much]THIS IS STANDARD STUFF FOR A POLARIOD EPIC SUCH AS THIS ONE,WORD ON DA STREET IS THAT[BUSTOUT BLOCKHEAD]IS ON HIS WAY..[he's ducked every roadblock]-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..HE'S DUCKED ALL THOSE PUBLICITY HOUNDS..[and the bloodhounds too]HE CAN'T WAIT TO MEET WITH MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]..[he hasn't seen a woman in twenty years]SO HE'LL BE GOOD TO GO BUT DON'T WORRY HE'LL HAVE ON AN ELECTRIC SHOCK COLLAR..[at least he did]ALRIGHTY THEN WE'RE ALL EXCITED FOR THIS ONE...OK GOTTA RUN...[gotta see that the swat team is set up just in case]DON'T WORRY WEST I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL SO GET MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]DOWN HERE....WHAT REALISM WHAT A MOVIE!!!!!

**Jerry Oz** · 11-19-2015, 03:00 PM

Ext. [[Day)

Detective Jay Reozz stands next to the body of Wannfour Foremann, which lies limp on a golf course. With him is a street cop, who was first on the scene. The phone rings and he answers it to talk to someone from the precinct.

Reozz: Yeah, there's a stiff here on the seventh hole. Looks like he was shot with an elephant gun from the hole the slug left. It's big enough to put your fist through... I checked his ID and the stiff is identified to be Wannfour Foremann, the big game hunter... Yeah, I think he is the guy from that hunting reality show "Wann Bad Dude With a Gun"... That's not funny boss... [[Hangs up the phone)
Cop: What's not funny?
Reozz: That was the chief. He said that this isn't the first time there was a hole in Wann on this golf course.

[[Fade to black)

**arr&bee** · 11-19-2015, 03:50 PM

GOOD GOOD GOOD ,GREAT WRITING,I JUST HOPE THAT THE ACTORS AREN'T OVERCOME BY FUMES-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..OVERCOME BY FAME,WEST TELL MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR] THAT HER WARDROBE FOR THIS CLASSIC IS ALL BLACK...[to disguise the smut]..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE...TO BLEND IN TO THE SCENERY..HEY JERRY THE GREAT SCEENWRITER[EYE A.M. BROKE]WILL BE ON HAND TO HELP OUT IF HIS MEDS KICK IN..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..AFTER HE MEDITATES,UMM EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO OVER TO THE SET AND BRIBE-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..BRIFE SOME OFFICIALS FROM THE STATE HEALTH BOARD ON THIS POLARIOD CLASSIC MOTION PICTURE,EVERYONE WANTS TO BE IN THIS ONE.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-19-2015, 04:46 PM

Int.
Arby and Reozz are holed up in the kitchen at Greasy Grady's. Every table and appliance has been pushed against the door to keep it shut. Grady's severed arm lies on the floor, still holding the cleaver he tried to use to repel Littlebits, who is banging on the kitchen door to get inside.
Reozz: She's going to break through at any moment. It was a great idea to lure her to a restaurant when you knew that she gets stronger by being hungry. [[rolls his eyes)
Arby: I thought that maybe she'd slip on a patch of grease and we'd be able to run away before she got back up. Who knew her Uggs were slip-proof?
[[A loud growling sound comes from the other side of the door)
Reozz: Great. Now she's changing into a werewolf or something. Can this get worse.
Arby: She's not changing, that's her stomach. She'll be inside in less than a minute. Well, I'm out of bullets. I need some more.
Reozz: We're out of luck. I don't have any more.
Arby: Wait. Did you just say "I don't have any mo'"? "Any 'Mo'"! Moe! Reozz, you freaking genius. I know what to do to get us out of this mess. [[Pulls out his iPhone) Siri, get Moe on the phone!

**arr&bee** · 11-19-2015, 06:11 PM

THIS IS GETTING GOODER AND GOODER,YES THIS IS WHERE MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]MAKES HER DRAMATIC ENTRANCE[THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON HER- ZOOOOOOOOM]AS SHE RUNS DOWN TO THE PHONEBOOTH TO GET THIS CRITICAL CALL...[moe don't worry about that phonebooth, more realism besides the fact that the cellphone was repossessed because of nonpayments] SMALL PROBLEMS REALLY GET READY FOR YOUR CLOSEUP.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-20-2015, 01:57 PM

Ext. [[Daytime)

Moe and Arby are standing by a desert trail, looking at a cloud of dust rising up from the Grand Canyon below them. Officer Reozz is laying on the ground, clearly out of his mind over what he just witnessed.
Arby: Great idea, moe! Tossing that pork chop into the Grand Canyon lured the beast into a trap that she may not escape from.
moe: It's not over. We will need someone with the Park Service to dump 500 pounds of pork chops into the canyon every day to make sure she doesn't get out.
Arby: Yeah, I'll arrange for that and I'll even sell them the pork chops for... 5000% ABOVE INVOICE!! It's a win-win. Even Littlebits will be happy.
moe: "Littlebits"? I'm afraid not. The creature in the pit only weighed 900 pounds. When Littlebits was last in "The Biggest Loser", she lost 500 pounds and still weighed 2,300 pounds when she quit. That was a Tinybit, one of Littlebits' unholy children.
Arby: What?!
[[Officer Reozz starts giggling uncontrollably in the distance.)
moe: This thing has only just begun. When Littlebits finds that this Tinybit is getting free pork chops for life, she'll dig out the entire canyon to get some for herself. This battle has just begun.

The ground begins to shake. Birds flock and quickly fly off into the distance. Coyotes, foxes, bull mooses, and grizzly bears run past them. Suddenly, a huge shadow fills the area.
Reozz: Oh, come on!!!!!
moe: Mama's here.

The End

[[Fade to black. End of part one.)

[[Littlebits and Ms. moe Superstar will return next summer in "Littlebits 2: The Feast".)

**arr&bee** · 11-20-2015, 05:11 PM

THIS IS IT RIGHT HERE,JERRY WE MAY HAVE TO START A NEW CATEGORY FOR YOU...GREATEST FICTIONAL-ALMOST NON-FICTION NON FACTICAL SCREENPLAY...[we'll present you with a golden turkey wing for this gem]AND JUST TO THINK ALL THIS IS GONNA BE SHOT ON A BACKLOT...[way in back]...AFTER WE WRAP THIS CLASSIC GREASY WILL THROW A BIG BLAST...[after it's thrown out-blast it] FOR THE ENTIRE CAST.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-20-2015, 06:22 PM

Thanks. I figure we can make it a five film production. We can just shuffle the scenes and dub the new dialog so we don't have to go through the trouble of actually making four other movies. Then, we can make a movie about how we made the movie [[and that might be scarier than the actual movie when we show how pissed off the crew became when they realized we paid them once and made five movies).

Man, we can mint our money with this...

**arr&bee** · 11-22-2015, 01:05 PM

YES,YES,YES...I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE GOLDEN TURKEY FOLKS AND THEY'RE READY TO[GOOBLE]THIS ONE UP,I LIKE THAT[MINT]THING,I'M GONNA LEAVE A MINT[ON A PLASTIC PLATE]FOR ALL CAST AND CREW JERRY YOU AND I WILL DIVIDE UP THE PROCEEDS AFTER MY ACCOUNTANT..YUL B. SHORTCHANGED,ESQ. GOES OVER THE BOOKS,DON'T WORRY JERRY JUST KEEP WRITING THIS GREAT STUFF AND I'LL SEE THAT YOU GET YOUR MINT...[on a real plate]AS FOR OUR STAR THE LOVELY MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]AFTER THIS POLARIOD CLASSIC SHE'LL BE THE POLARIOD QUEEN OF THE DA HOOD,HER NAME WILL BE SPRAY PAINTED..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..HER NAME WILL BE ALL OVER DA HOOD IN HONOR OF THIS CLASSIC POLARIOD CLASSIC,AND AS FOR HER SUPERAGENT WESTGRAND[ESQ.]HE'LL BE ABLE TO WALK ANYWHERE IN DA HOOD DURING DAYLIGHT HOURS,HOW'S THAT FOR FAME,WELL ENOUGH BRAGGING LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-23-2015, 01:30 PM

Great. I'm faxing you a contract. It's kind of long so you don't need to read all of it, just sign at the bottom of the last page and initial the 15 pages of addendums. We're going to make out like fat rats on this deal, just be aware that I get mine first and it's a fair deal that requires you to put up 97% of the preproduction costs with the foreknowledge that you'll receive your 3% of the total profits after my 97% has been electronically deposited into my offshore account and all of the contractors have been paid [[your total payout will top out at - for now - $2,000 [[lucky...)) and your catering and production expenses have been paid [[I'll keep track) and the bookies stop calling. Sign it and zip it back over to me and we'll have this thing rolling as soon as you can deposit the money. Try to get it no later than tomorrow at noon or the lawyers will be calling.

Looking forward to a profitable relationship and an award winning flick, dude!

**arr&bee** · 11-23-2015, 02:05 PM

JERRY,JERRY...FAX??????I DON'T HAVE A FAX BUT IF YOU GO DOWN TO THA TELEGRAPH OFFICE AT THE DARK END OF THE STREET..[ignore that condemned sign, grab a hardhat and go on in]YOU ARE A GREAT SCREEN WRITER NOW LET ME RUN IT DOWN TO YA,AS FOR THE[97%]YOU ARE RIGHT EXCEPT ONE ITTY BITTY TEENY TINY LITTLE THING...PERHAPS YOU SHOULD READ THAT TEENY TINY STATEMENT[yeah that one way down at the bottom]THAT STATES THAT IF FOR ANY AND ALL SCENES WRITING ACTING DIALOGE MONOLOGE LOGCABINS THAT I AS SOUL MAIN DUDE IN CHARGE DOWN HERE IN DA HOOD WHERE THESE POLARIOD CLASSIC ARE MADE PRODUCED REDUCED,THERE IS A GRATEFUL CHARGE...[greatful that I let you in da hood to be a part of this histerical polaroid classic]of 979% OF YOUR SALARY..[if and when any exists]MAY BE EXCERCISED AT THE DISCRETION OF SAID PRODUCER AT HIS WILL OR GOODWILL, PLUS CHARGES FOR ALL STUFF USED AND UNUSED USEDUP USED TO BE GET USED TO IT FOR AS LONG AS PRODUCER HAS SAID CONTRACT IN HIS POSESSION,ECT.ECT.ECT...EXCLAMATION POINT!....BUT I GOT YA COVERED DON'T WORRY[much]I'M GONNA HAVE MY ACCOUNTANT...MR.SLYT OVE HAND[ESQ.]GO OVER THE BOOKS ONLY BECAUSE IT'S YOU....IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME WHO CAN YOU TRUST? IT'S MONEY IN THE BANK,DON'T WORRY...NOW BACK TO WORK.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-23-2015, 02:25 PM

You left out a decimal point in 979%. My lawyer states that it should be .979%. Oh, and I just figured out a great way to stretch it out for two more movies. Can you contact a few of your... associates... and have them 'pick up' a few extra reels of film over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend? I'm pretty sure the only person at the film store will be a sleepy old guard who is overstuffed from eating too many chittlins from Thursday's dinner. Should be a piece of cake as long as they're quiet. Tell 'em not to worry, I have an account [[unless they get caught, in which case I will delete this post). This is going to be a huge thing. We can make dozens off of this deal.

**arr&bee** · 11-23-2015, 02:49 PM

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE,IF YOU KEEP COMING UP WITH THESE SLEEZY-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..SPLENDED IDEAS I'M GONNA HAVE TO OFFER YOU A ONE-FORTH OF A ONEHUNDREDTH OF A HALF PERCENTAGE POINT MINUS[5000%]FINDERS FEE,AND MAKE YOU A PARTNER...[silent of course ,and as a partner you will have one one millenth of a vote every ten lunar years or when pigs fly whichever comes first]JERRY YOU HAVE A FUTURE HERE IN DA HOOD,AND AS LONG AS I'M RUNNING THINGS YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SUCH UNIMPORTANT NONSENSE AS...A SAY SO IN ANYTHING..YOUR NAME EVER APPEARING NEXT TO MINE...JERRY YOU'RE A GENIOUS,AND SMART TOO!!!

**Jerry Oz** · 11-23-2015, 04:34 PM

I am a heavy thinker. I once broke a finger while scratching my head.

**moe** · 11-23-2015, 08:54 PM

And I'm glad I have my super agent Mr. Westgrand, ESQ. Who looks out for me!

**westgrandboulevard** · 11-24-2015, 06:13 AM

I do, Moe.

I certainly do, and it is no trouble at all.

**arr&bee** · 11-24-2015, 03:25 PM

MS.MOE[SUPERSTAR]I'M SENDING OVER A SWATCH OF FABRICS FOR YOU TO LOOK OVER FOR YOUR[SUPERSTAR]APPEARANCE IN MY LATEST AND GREATEST POLAROID CLASSIC...[to be named later]THE THUMP YOU HEAR OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR IS JUST THE DELIVERY BUZZARD DROPPING THEM OFF,I'VE HIRED THAT HOT NEW FASHION IDIOT-OPPS ERR-AHEM-HEHE..FASHION ICON..[formerly ex con but he was framed] THE FABULOUS MR.HOLESINBACK,HE HAS SOME GRAND IDEAS[I hope]FOR YOUR WARDROBE,HIS WORK WITH[CHEESECLOTH]IS LEGENDARY AND WAIT TIL YOU SEE WHAT HE DOES WITH CORDEROY AND NYLON AND HIS[CARDBORDE FAKEFUR]IMITATION GENUINE FAKE PLEATHER EVENING GOWN WITH MATCHING PAPERSOLE PUMPS ARE TO DIE FOR...WELL I KNOW YOU CAN HARDLY WAIT SO I'LL HAVE WEST GET WITH HIM BEFORE HE GETS LOCKED UP AGAIN..OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..BEFORE SOMEONE LOCKS HIM INTO A FASHION SHOW....YOU MAY NOT RECOVER FROM THIS ONE,LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU ON THE SET OF THIS POAROID CLASSIC-to be named later.

**moe** · 11-24-2015, 09:09 PM

Unless it's Karl Lagerfeld' s famous fantasy tweed forget it.

**Jerry Oz** · 11-24-2015, 11:35 PM

We can get that for you, moe. Umm... Could you PM me with your credit card number? Don't worry, you can reimburse us out of your earnings.

**144man** · 11-25-2015, 12:33 AM

I'll be willing to look after the Petty Cash for you.

**arr&bee** · 11-25-2015, 01:16 PM

MOE,WE CAN GET TWEED FOR YOU,I KNOW THAT AS THE STAR OF MY LATEST AND GREATEST POLARIOD CLASSIC[to be named later]YOU GOTTA LOOK GOOD AND I'M GONNA GET MY CRIM-OPPS-ERR-AHEM-HEHE..CREW RIGHT ON IT,NOW THIS FELLA-KALE LASTINTHA FIELD WHERE DO I FIND HIM?HE DON'T LIVE ROUND HERE OR HE WOULD OWE ME MONEY...[everyone else does]OF COURSE IF HE'S TOO EXPENSIVE...[above $10.00]THEN I'LL GET THAT ICON OF FASHION MR.HOLESINBACK TO THROW SOMETHING TOGETHER YOU'LL BE FAB...HE SAYS HE'S GONNA PUT SOME-SEED AN TWINE TOGETHER AND IT'LL LOOK JUST LIKE TWEED AN HE'S GONNA SPRINKLE SOME CONFETTI MADE FROM TORN UP FASHION MAGAZINES THAT HE HAD STORED UP FROM HIS LAST JOB...OH AND AS A ADDED BONUS I'M GONNA SEND YOU TO THAT GREAT HAIRSTYLIST...MS.CURLERRBURNS,YOU MAY REMEMBER HER WORK ON THE CLASSIC[BRIDE OF FRANKANBURNER-1931]SHE'S COMING OUTTA RETIREMENT FOR THIS ONE AND SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GET HER CURLING IRON INTO YOUR HAIR...ISN'T THIS GREAT?