Lost discussion thread revisited or what????

[144man]

Is there no way to turn off autocorrect?

[Jerry Oz]

I'm too lazy to find out. I'll check tomorrow... I need to post from my computer instead of my tablet to avoid the problem.

[arr&bee]

Jerry i got cha and my rates never change..1,000%above the legal limit...just tryin to stay afloat.

[Jerry Oz]

Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. But you can have what's left.

[arr&bee]

Now jerry you would be trying to get out of paying your legal fees would you[there are laws somewhere about that]i'll send you over a nice writ of utmost payuppatus for you to look over.

[Jerry Oz]

Send it to my accountant, Helen Waite. She'll look out over and take care of it.

[arr&bee]

Jerry i have a collection agency that i use...broke en bones,they always get my cash.

[Jerry Oz]

I'll have it, I'll have it... I'm just waiting for the guys building the house across the street to put the copper piping in and then go on their lunch break. Shouldn't be too much longer now...

[arr&bee]

Jerry,you da man.

[Jerry Oz]

Now where did I put those bolt cutters?

[arr&bee]

Don't worry jerry,just tell me where the place is and i'll have some of my crim..opps-err-ahem-hehe..technicians come by and take care of things.

[Jerry Oz]

Ummm... Maybe we should talk about it. I'll call you tomorrow during my hour out of the cell for rec. I kind of got caught. [[It's a big misunderstanding).

Hope you accept collect calls from the Pickaway County Correctional Center between 2:00 and 2:45 PM.

[westgrandboulevard]

Can't he just walk down the corridor?

[Jerry Oz]

Well, yes he can. Assuming that he has no outstanding warrants. So he should probably wait for the call. I'll tell him a joke to pay for the cost...

[westgrandboulevard]

He'll need some minders. Arr&bee shouldn't be allowed to just walk around outside.

[Jerry Oz]

The minders in the joint keep you company by way of a sniper scope.

[westgrandboulevard]

It must be like roaming the plains of Africa, where people with money - some with cameras, and some with guns - track the unsuspecting animals, going about their daily quest for survival.

[Jerry Oz]

More like the places that allow you to pay $100,000 to shoot a penned up lion [[that was raised in captivity) so you can brag about your hunting skills on Facebook.

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm hoping places like that don't really exist....

[Jerry Oz]

Sadly, they do. There are petting zoos in Africa that have lion cubs as their main attractions. They aren't equipped to house grown lions soi they sell the juveniles to people who offer the thrill of the 'hunt' to rich people with guns. Typically the hunt involves shooting the lion as he's standing in a cage oblivious to what's coming next.

[westgrandboulevard]

I believe there would be outrage if that were known to take place in the UK and, I hope, the US, too. I'd like to think that the customers were not from either the US or UK, but I suspect that would not be the case.

[arr&bee]

I'm organizing a million lion march in front of buckingham palace.

[westgrandboulevard]

Make it the White House. It would have much bigger media exposure.

[arr&bee]

West,did the queen put you up to this,these lions have retained me at only...[10,000%above the legal limit]to marchin front of the palace and tell her majesty there coming.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well, of course, if they are acting as delegates from one of the Commonwealth countries, there would be a grand reception and dinner held for them. I'm told braised hunter would be on the menu.

[arr&bee]

Forget all that diplomacy bull,they're pissed and they're gonna eat before coming.

[westgrandboulevard]

By air, or sea?

[arr&bee]

Both,they travel first class.

[Jerry Oz]

Just don't take their word or they'll eat you. They're always lion about everything.

[westgrandboulevard]

Looking out for the mane chance...

[144man]

Of course the march should be outside Buckingham Palace. The lion is king of the jungle, and royalty usually stick together.

[Jerry Oz]

Good thing her highness is protected by the royal pooches. They'll make sure the lions don't get out of hand.

[westgrandboulevard]

The royal horses may always be in hand, but those corgis never are.

[Jerry Oz]

If you were to visit the Corgi pub, you'd find them drinking their ale and complaining about how ruff their life is.

[westgrandboulevard]

It's up to HM to show them a lead.

[Jerry Oz]

Everybody needs somebody to love. Someone to kiss. Sweetheart to miss. And HM needs her Corgis.

[[With apologies to Solomon Burke.)

[arr&bee]

Well,when all the roaring stops the lions will appear.

[westgrandboulevard]

They won't stop long. They have a date with distant relatives who live in Regent's Park.

[arr&bee]

They won't have time to visit relatives,they marchin.

[Jerry Oz]

Make sure they know which side of the street they need to march. It's backwards over there. Or backwards over here. Screw it, I guess it's backwards everywhere.

[westgrandboulevard]

Those Disney people, calling their film 'The Lion King' , just gave those lions a false sense of pride.

And as for saying we do it 'backwards', we're the logical ones. You don't start reading and writing from the right, do you?

[Jerry Oz]

Well, as a matter of fact...

[westgrandboulevard]

On reflection, you must do it with mirrors.

[Jerry Oz]

Trade secret: I do it with smoke. Mirrors depress me.

[westgrandboulevard]

Their message is far less comfortable than the self- image in our mind's eye.

[Jerry Oz]

And the guy in the mirror keeps giving me dirty looks. I wonder what his problem is?

[westgrandboulevard]

He thinks you're being short-sighted.

[Jerry Oz]

I think he's judging me.

[westgrandboulevard]

I think you've been found guilty.

[arr&bee]

That guy in the picture owes me money...for the pipe.