Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

[Jerry Oz]

I'm the coach, leading scorer, and chief bully. I crush their egos with surprising ease. But I do it so they don't expect success in life, so it's not like I enjoy it. I mean, they're little people, why let success in a basketball league get their hopes up?

[westgrandboulevard]

I suppose that's why you have the net so high....

[Jerry Oz]

It's regulation 10' high. I can almost touch the bottom of it. I'm going to join a senior citizens league next season so I can give them the benefit of putting them down. I was born to serve...

[westgrandboulevard]

Having you there, and looking up to you, must have transformed their lives.

[Jerry Oz]

Kind of. They're angry little buggers, though. The last few weeks, I've been getting fouled more by them than the players on the other teams. It's so bad that one of them suggested that quit before I get hurt really bad.

[westgrandboulevard]

It can't be good for your ankles, having to endure those constant attacks.

[Jerry Oz]

Fortunately, in a league of little people there's usually something soft to land on when I fall...

[westgrandboulevard]

To the bigger plants in the garden, it is known as ground cover.

[arr&bee]

Um jerry i think you're about to have a legal issue,i got an angry letter from the leauge of midgets,dwarfs,munchkins,elfves and fairies complaining about you hogging he ball and not letting them shoot,they're going to te commisioner...mr.itty bitty and he's a little pissed off,or sawed off...depending on if he's behind or ontop of his desk.

[westgrandboulevard]

Standing on top of his desk, Mr. Itty Bitty looks like a paper weight.

[arr&bee]

I don't know,west jerry may not be able to sweep them under the rug,of course he may try.

[westgrandboulevard]

They won't see him for dust.

[arr&bee]

His career may be in the dust if they go legal..of course he can counter sue and for only 1,000%above legal fees i'm his lawyer...plus all legal fees and lunch.

[westgrandboulevard]

No win, no fee....so you'll have to earn your lunch.

[Jerry Oz]

Don't worry about it. The little losers called to let me know that they voted me off the team. They said that I was inconsiderate not to notice that I packed L'il Bucko [[our point guard) into my gym bag and leave him in the locker last weekend. I told them that if they can't forgive one little mistake, then I'll take my talents to the senior citizens' league. The little ingrates hung up on me.

[westgrandboulevard]

Some people just can't take a joke.

[Jerry Oz]

Joke? You mean they were joking with me?

[westgrandboulevard]

No, you're joking with them, if you're telling them you're taking your talents to the senior citizens' league. They really shouldn't take you so seriously.

You're so much more suitable to being in the senior citizens' league than, for instance, to ever try and match their size, as people of miniature proportions.

[Jerry Oz]

I want joking with them. I was trying to help them succeed in life. One of them acknowledged this when he said 'you know, Oz, before you got here we used to have a lot of fun. Not anymore. What should be a few buddies hanging out and enjoying life has become a colossal pain in the ass for all of us. Thanks for ruining everything you huge sack of ####. Go to hell.'

Now why would he thank me and then vote me off the team? I'll never understand people, I guess...

[westgrandboulevard]

Didn't want big business muscling in on their local game, I guess.

[Jerry Oz]

I think he was jealous. His loss, I guess.

[westgrandboulevard]

'Moving forward', it shouldn't be too much of a challenge to come out ahead of people in their nineties....

[Jerry Oz]

Nineties?! Too young for me. I'm joining a centenarian league.

[westgrandboulevard]

Good idea. That gives you at least a forty year projection, to make your way up through the ranks.

[Jerry Oz]

And it also permits me to take out life insurance for my mates with a greater possibility for rapid payout.

[westgrandboulevard]

I suspect the cost of the insurance will be extremely high. Might be more cost-effective to bet against them NOT to die within a certain timescale.....

[Jerry Oz]

I'm pretty sure arr&bee can find me a good rate at {...1200% OVER INVOICE}

[westgrandboulevard]

His prices denote him as someone from {a higher tax bracket}.

[arr&bee]

Jerry i'm on it as we speak,i spoke with mr.itty bitty and he will reinstate you but you gotta play on your knees...some silly rule about no player being less that six feet below the bottom of the nets...oh and those nikes youwear are against the rule only pf flyers,i told em we'de get back to em.

[westgrandboulevard]

The only way you'll ever get back to them, is to crawl......

[arr&bee]

MY GOOD MAN MY CLIENTS NEVER CRAWL...[we might beg]BUT NEVER CRAWL.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm not crawling. I had a stomach ache and doubled over once. Those little bastards beat me nearly to a pulp. I assumed it was my initiation into the gang but when the knives came out, I straightened up and stood on phone book to get out of their reach. I almost didn't go back to the team after that episode but I figured the fellas needed me...

[arr&bee]

I think they were gonna carve you a new logo.

[Jerry Oz]

They took my Air Jordans and swore that when they finished, they'd leave me as Ground Chuck. Who's Chuck?

[arr&bee]

I learned that[ground chuck]was once thier leading scorer but he grew two centimeters and they cut him...they called him ground chuck because he couldn't jump off the ground.

[Jerry Oz]

Oh. That makes sense now. My vertical leap is .43 inches. They were going to try to hurt me to keep me from making the weekly highlight reel for Sports Center.

[westgrandboulevard]

They don't sound like very good sports.

[Jerry Oz]

I called them 'good shorts' and they threatened to key my car.

[westgrandboulevard]

Was that a first?

[Jerry Oz]

Being threatened by a mob of Lilliputions? Yes. But it wouldn't be the last...

[westgrandboulevard]

I meant having someone threaten to key your car....

[Jerry Oz]

It was the first since I stopped borrowing money from women who thought that I was interested in a romantic relationship.

[westgrandboulevard]

There are a lot of desperate people out there...

[Jerry Oz]

A lot of people possessing keys, as well...

[westgrandboulevard]

With just as many, if not more, also possessing plastic cards. Money always helps.

[Jerry Oz]

Especially when you can spend today and worry about how to pay for it tomorrow.

[144man]

...hoping that tomorrow never comes.

[Jerry Oz]

I'm going to hit the lottery tomorrow, so I hope it comes then...

[144man]

Best of luck. Will you have to wade through snow to get your ticket or has it gone now?

[arr&bee]

Hit the lottery..yipee we're rich..opps err-ahem-hehe..you're rich my favorite client of all time,[and one who's gonna pay in cash]...ka-ching!!!