Let it snow,let it snow,let it snow

[arr&bee]

Hey 144man i have in my possesion the almost hand me down second handed third generhis byarality turban worn by the thief of bagdad himself,when i saw this cool item i thought of you.for only..5000%above factory invoice plus shipping and hndling.

[Jerry Oz]

Sounds like a good deal, 144man! I read somewhere that wind turbans will be big as the world moves on from fossil fuels to sustainable energy. They have gigantic turbans spinning and generating electricity in a lot of wind farms, so if arr&bee can hook you up, you may never have an electric bill again.

[144man]

That's such a generous offer that it blows me away.

[Jerry Oz]

It's like a breath of fresh air... Well, fresh air mixed with hooch...

[arr&bee]

That's the spirit fellas,gotta keep these wonderful products moving.

[Jerry Oz]

I found a Visa card at a party over the weekend, so I'll be able to buy something, Bub. I need a set of concert speakers capable of sounding a10,000 seat auditorium. How much will it cost [[including delivery in the alley behind my step-mother's convenience store)?

[arr&bee]

Jerry my man i hear ya loud an clear,and those speakers are on the way..i just came across some killer ones [1,00,000,000,000]kilowats i'll have my crim-opps-err-ahem-hehe..crew deliver em as soon as the sun goes down.

[westgrandboulevard]

For Jerry's sake, I hope that's on 'Sale Or Return'....he'll need to have a blast before he pays.

[Jerry Oz]

Just so long as I get receipt.... I need to write this purchase off on my taxes.

[westgrandboulevard]

And write this purchase off, you certainly will.....

[Jerry Oz]

Okay, now I'm getting nervous. If you think it's all a big ripoff scheme, whisper it to me when he's not reading...

[westgrandboulevard]

[[well, I hope you can still read me OK......if I print this any more gently, you won't be able to see it at all...), but I've just checked. You're all right, it's OK, he isn't signed in just at the moment.

Now, we mustn't be fooled by that, as there are always 'guests' reading these posts, who aren't signed in. It's impossible to know exactly who they are,although they know who WE are. We just mustn't be intimidated by their presence. No, not indeed, no siree.

[[excuse me a minute.......I'm just going to raise the blind a little, and open the window...)
I SAY!! YOU OUT THERE! YES, YOU! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE!!!!

[[Ok,sorry about that, but it's always best to face up to them, let them know that you know.....)

Anyway....it's not so much of a ripoff scheme, more of a blastoff. Those speakers will sound louder than an atomic bomb going off. You don't need to be buying them, especially with someone else's VISA card. You'll never be able to claim the insurance on the damage they will cause....

[Jerry Oz]

Thanks, hombre. If I read you correctly, you're saying that I might want to reconsider buying the speakers. It's just that my neighbors [[just on the other side of the wall, mind you) have taken to playing their television a little loud for my taste and I was going to use the speakers to blast through the walls to let them know that I think that it's kind of rude.

Maybe I'll do what my wife suggests and simply ask them to turn it down. It's just a pain because I shouldn't have to do that...

[westgrandboulevard]

Quite right. Ask HER to do it.

[Jerry Oz]

I might as well ask her to cook dinner. That ain't happenin'...

[westgrandboulevard]

Oh. I had the idea that she did do that.

Have things at home changed since you left your workplace?

[arr&bee]

West,are you moonlighting for the insurance companies?don't listen to him jerry,i got your speakers west i think your bowler's too tight.

[Jerry Oz]

I was kidding about the missus cooking [[we both cook). And arr&bee, I waited too long with the Visa, which has apparently been cancelled. I'll have to find another one before we can close the deal. Don't worry, though. I'm invited to another party this weekend.

[arr&bee]

Um it may be too late by then i sorta have to be outta town..[by sundown]some silly mixup about selling items without a license who has time for a license,anyhow everything must go all items $1.00.

[Jerry Oz]

Will you accept Canadian quarters? I got one back from a candy machine [[and I hate it when that happens).

[westgrandboulevard]

Cheapskates. The Lot of them...

[Jerry Oz]

Somehow, once you get a Canadian quarter, you can't get rid of it. The same machines that give them back in change don't take them and if you pass it off at the convenience store, the cashier gives you a dirty look and kicks you out. If I understood Korean, I'd know whether they're saying nice things about me, but from the way they're shouting and pointing toward the door, I don't think that they are...

[westgrandboulevard]

Is a Canadian Quarter worth anything?

[Jerry Oz]

Yes. It's worth 28 cents. I need to find more of them...

[arr&bee]

Haaaaaaaaaaa,funny about getting kicked out of the korean place,i've been kicked out of all types of places[including my own house]but if i've had a sip of this wonderful elixur i can understand everything those folks say.

[Jerry Oz]

I believe you, but after you've had a sip [[or more), can anyone understand you?

[arr&bee]

Well um not exactly,because your tongue is kinda tied up for oh a week.

[westgrandboulevard]

Well now, maybe it could come in quite useful as an anaesthetic.

[arr&bee]

It some countries it is.

[westgrandboulevard]

I can see some sense in it leading to no sense.

[arr&bee]

It's been used as a laughing gas too.

[Jerry Oz]

Yah, but who's laughing? You or your companions who are no longer surprised by your regular face-planting into the sidewalk?

[westgrandboulevard]

I'm familiar with gas, but it doesn't make me laugh....

Jerry....Arr&bee's face has become his misfortune.

[Jerry Oz]

We can change that. The first issue of Wonderful Elixurs Illustrated will be pressed and on the stands at the end of next week and we're still looking for somebody to put on the cover. He'll do.

[westgrandboulevard]

Wouldn't an empty bottle be more appropriate?

[Jerry Oz]

No! That would make the targeted demographic feel depressed and run away from purchasing it. That's the last thing we'll put on the cover.

[westgrandboulevard]

If you put Arr&bee's face on the cover, that will be the last cover.

[arr&bee]

Good luck with that pic jerry,since nobody has actually seen me since oh...1961,heck even i've forgotten what i look like,put west on the cover wearing one of those bowlers and holding an englsh bulldog .

[westgrandboulevard]

I could be pictured, smiling to everyone throughout the Empire, while taking afternoon tea. Underneath, it would say : "If you want to be healthy, drink tea".

And underneath that..."And if you don't want to be healthy, drink hooch"

[arr&bee]

West,that's great because it would have the opposite effect,tea is boring but a shot of hooch...ooweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

[Jerry Oz]

I'll use the same photo with the tag line saying "If you want to drink tea, use a ceramic cup. If you want to drink hooch, we have the top 5 best soup cans to use reviewed in this issue!!"

[westgrandboulevard]

I hope they are all Salvation Army approved.

[Jerry Oz]

Well, but the Salvation Army, but I contacted the Redemption Marines who apparently are the same sort of outfit.

[westgrandboulevard]

Are we talking about the Angels of Redemption?

Surely too late for Arr&bee....

[Jerry Oz]

Nope. I just made the name up. Sounds like a play on 'Salvation Army'. Nyuck nyuck nyuck. I'm slaying myself today.

[westgrandboulevard]

If you can't make yourself laugh, it won't work with anyone else....

[arr&bee]

Maybe you two can take that act on the road,need a manager i'm here[and all i ask is 80%].

[westgrandboulevard]

Wherever I work, I insist on Moet in the dressing room.

No Moet? No Showy....!

[144man]

Forget about the champagne, my puns inflict real pain.

[westgrandboulevard]

As do many of Arr&bee's posts....