That's because you're a flexible, bend but don't break type of guy.
That's because you're a flexible, bend but don't break type of guy.
Some would call that 'slippery'....
But don't stretch him too far out he'll snap...
I snap back,hehehehehe!!!
It's cool to venture out with the knowledge that you might end up where you started if you fail.
Arr&bee seems in imminent danger of ending up in a worse place from where he started....
I get the impression that he's like a cat, always capable of landing on his feet if he happens to fall from a great height.
Thanks jerry,i actually have cats on the payroll to land for me.
A cat walked into a bar. He looked at the bartender and smiled when asked for his order. 'I would like a shot,' he began before he appeared to zone out for nearly a minute. Finally, he collected himself and finished his order. 'Of bourbon.'
'Sure, Mac,' the bartender responded. 'But what's with the paws?'
[[That one's funnier to hear than it is to read.)
Alrighty then...moving on!!!
A horse walls into a bar and orders a drunk. 'Hey, Pal,' the bartender says as he's getting the order. 'Why the long face?'
Umm,jerry the laugh factory is two blocks down and round the corner,ask for humorous homer.
That's actually my former stage name. One more classic:
A duck walls into a bar and asks for a glass of beer. Seeing no pockets or purse, the bartender asks how it will be paid
'I'll pay for it,' the duck replies. 'Just put it on my bill.'
I think my grandson has that book.
If he doesn't, I have an alibi [[but no receipt).
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa,now that's funny.
Jai, how much do you charge for alibis? I might need one next week.
Are you thinking of murdering Father Christmas....?
What will you say? That you were out of town, celebrating Easter somewhere?
I've never forgiven him for the coal in my stocking.
I knew it was all over for me and Father Christmas, when looking forward to having a strange old man creeping around my bedroom suddenly didn't seem a good idea.
Decades later, I now see myself in the mirror when I undress, and I still feel the same way.
Stray thought...if vampires can't see their reflections in mirrors, how do they shave?
Perhaps they rely on the waxing of the moon?
The correct answer was "There's no such thing as vampires".
There's no such person as Father Christmas, but you still say you've never forgiven him for the coal in your stocking.......
Shhhhh! There may be children reading this.
Ahem. Quite so. They should be in bed, waiting for Father Christmas to arrive.
Wait! Did you say there's no Father Christmas?! Thank God Santa still comes once a year.
Hey 144man i got that alibi you needed,for you only....999.00above factory invoice[xmas special]..father christmas was an old priest who lost his way and started drinking...[legend has it that the hooch got him started]well he grew a beard and gained alot of weight and still in his red bvd's he became[santa].
That sounds like it would be great as a movie.
I'm casting as we speak.
Merry Christmas and a ho ho ho!
[[Have I passed the audition?)
Last edited by 144man; 12-24-2014 at 02:10 AM.
Step on a scale. You need a BMI of 250 to play Santa.
In my next flick santa is a skinny dude[he needs to run fast]because some of his toys are[shall we say]not sanctioned by the northpole parental society.
Good thing he's got plenty of Nike Air Jordans that he didn't have to pass out to the naughty kids. Most of them are bangers anyway and were hoping to jack him when he arrived.
No snow here yet, but yesterday was the coldest day of the year.
We had snow in November but only trace amounts since then. It's supposed to be near zero tomorrow, though.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,how bout this,a snow thread that actually talks about snow,who woulda thunk it,haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Well, it rained today... A lot. Now, that rain is going to freeze tonight.
It's gonna snow here[dc]tomorrow.
We got five inches in Ohio. Won't thaw for at least seven days if the forecast is right.
Happy new year jerry,it snowed here and it's very cold.
Thanks, compadre. It got up to 12 degrees in Ohio with wind chills below zero. [[That's minus 10 degrees for our friends across the pond.)
It should start to warm up in DC very soon with the new congress being sworn in and promising to attack the president's agenda.
Got a new mayor too.
I'm in a saving mood today.
Well, the next time you go out, save a drink for me.
Opps i drank it already.
It's been five days since Jerry posted. That drink evaporated....
Opps i'm just waking up from it...five days already???
Oh did i mention that it's snowing here right now,right on que.
We didn't get the snow that was predicted last week. I hope they are just as wrong for the rest of the winter. So far, we had more snow fall in November than December and January combined. And I ain't mad about that.
Bookmarks